do people
 

think of suicide a lot and is normal or is that not normal :confused:

Hi Cybil...I can't speak for other people but I suspect that most of us have considered suicide at one time or another in our lives. Have you?

And what is normal? ;) Welcome to the forum!

At the old forum, I think there was a good discussion on suicidal ideation or maybe my feeble mind is wrong. I do agree with Alffe that most of us have probably considered it at one time or another.

if most people think of it then i am normal cause i think of it often to :D

Hi cybil -- Welcome :)
You will be "safe" and comfortable here so please feel free to talk.
IMHO there's a big difference in thinking about suicide and thinking about commiting suicide. I've thought about both and I can recognize each one.

I talked about 'suicidal ideation' a couple of times.

I was having a long bout with suicidal ideation and still am not sure, exactly, why. But I think mine was a particular stressor in my life at that time. I've been addressing that stressor and think it has helped a lot. But...I could be wrong about the stressor. It could have been a multitude of things.

I was blaming it possibly on my current medication(s). But I've ruled that out now, because I'm not sitting here thinking every day..."I wish I just wasn't here." While wishing that though, I didn't have a plan to complete it.

If you are having suicidal thoughts and have a plan of action, you need to stop! :) And get help from someone to get through it.

I found this about suicidal ideation.

Lots of different kinds of pain lead to suicide.

I found the following a good read, maybe you will too. If you are thinking about suicide, read this first.

jingle what is the diffrence i thought they were the same :confused:

Well, thinking about your life ending and how it would relieve your pain is one thing. "I'd feel so better if I just weren't here." "Life would be so much easier if I didn't wake up."

Another thing is to think, "I can't do this anymore. I have a gun and I'm going to drive out to a wooded area on Friday night and shoot myself in the head."

((Cybil))

ok i understand thank u ((((hugs))))

Passive suicidal ideation is the wish for oneself to die, without active plans to facilitate the process.

It can be chronic. My persistent thoughts must have lasted close to a year. But they were, again, without any plan. Just kept thinking, "God, it would be easier not to be alive." And then sigh, and move on to the next day.

what about if u have a plan for just in case but dont plan on using it its more like u r in power of your choice if u ever decide to is that weird to do :confused:

these r just questions ok

Hmmmmmmm...addressing stressors Ms.Doody? Well, I was going to wear something purple to the wedding but then I saw your post in FF. :D

*whisper....cybil..aren't you glad you asked? We all learned something. :p

Oh I understand totally about back up plans cybil...just in case. Really not that unusual. When I was severely depressed Mr.Alffe got rid of the guns...just in case. Hugs

thanks alffe (((hugs))) :)

Cybil -- Feb.'06 I had to have ~shudder~ surgery to remove a brain tumor, I had all sorts of tests and stuff to check how my brain was working before surgery. Last Nov. I had 4 hours of neuropsych testing given to record my memory, word finding, speech, problem solving, how each hand- left and right- worked, yadda yadda.
When that had been completed by a technician, I was interviewed by a neuropsych for maybe 30 minutes. One of her questions was, "Do you think about suicide?" I answered "Yes". She asked if I was planning on committing it and I said no. She said, "Good. Thinking about suicide and planning suicide and two different things, RIGHT?" We talked very briefly about the differences.
Six months after surgery I had to take the same tests AGAIN and answer the same questions ~groan~.

I agree with Doody that there is such a big difference in thinking, "I'm too wretched to get up. I wish I would die so I didn't have to". and "I'm too wretched to get up. I'm going to kill myself so I don't have to".

We all are happy to answer questions if we can.

thank u jingle i am sorry u had to have brain surgary :(

do every one here find it hard to talk about suicide in the real world. it seems to me people rather nnot talk about it so u have to be care ful not to speak about it they rather not hear about it or pretend they dont hear about so it kind of leaves u staying quiet about it so u dont up set people does that happen to u :confused:

It is difficult Cybil...I've often said it's a real conversation stopper even in the chat rooms. When someone asks me which forums I frequent I always preface the response with "you'll be sorry you asked me".

It took me years to be able to talk about our son's suicide...since I couldn't talk about his life I also couldn't talk about his death. I've been told that I didn't grieve properly..that I was just stuck in an awful place.

I finally got to the place (with a lot of help from some cyber friends) that I could face that "monster" and now some accuse me of never shuting up about it. :D

alffe i am sorry about your son i did not know that. people get uncomfertable talking about suicide and death. was that why your husband took away the guns because u were depressed about your son u told your husband u had back up plans just in case

Thank you Cybil. I found myself walking around the cemetary where Michael is buried with a loaded gun in my hand...wanting to join him. When I told my husband, he got rid of all the guns in the house. This was years ago..Michael killed himself in Jan.90.

It's easy now for me to talk about it because I finally accepted it. Our family will never be the same but we can talk about him now with wonderful memories we share.

And talking about what we are feeling is what this forum is all about. We aren't afraid to talk about "IT".....talking heals us. (((Cybil)))

{{{{alfie}}}
{{{{cybil}}}
G'morning
I am very sorry to read about all this too!!!
It was'nt easy for me to hear my daughter or my son to tell me they have had thoughts of suicide.
Yet when they told me i had to deal with it, because i knew all too well what happenes when you dont!!!
I may not have have handled it perfectly but i did the best i could at the time...I did'nt just ignore it though...
I have bouts of depression on and off where i think about it myself..

I guess what i am trying to say here is, when someone is contemplating "it"
themselves its very hard to talk about it with someone else and actually help that person outta their darkness..
I have found most will brush it off and say oh it will pass.Maybe you just need to get out more..Then change the subject fast!
My husband has a MAJOR hard time with it...He actually stomped off this last time i went through it.He is such an idiot!!
He said how was your day?Like he cares...So i thought ,i will just tell him.If he cant see it all on my face.I will just tell him!!
So i said it was pretty shitty like all the rest of em anymore!!
I am tired of hurting everyday and nobody will help me make it go away!!!
I just wish i were dead!!!!!! He actually turned all red in the face and said.Your gonna have to start helping yourself get outta this mood.
I dunno what to tell ya!! Mayb if you get up off the couch more often you would feel better..Can you believe that????I said ,if i felt better.I would'nt be on the couch!!!!Then he just stomped off and left me sitting there crying.......
He does'nt beleve in depression...I have tried to tell him about our kids being depressed before.He said i'll let you deal with this...

sorry this might be to personal (((hugs)))

sorry this might be to personal (((hugs)))

Thanks for the hugs cybil {{{hugs}}} to you too.
Maybe i should'nt have typed all that info here..
I just kinda start and dont stop sometimes.
I dont have anyone i can talk to ,so icome here!!
I was'nt looking for advice or anything.Just kinda went from one thing to the next in making my point about how some people cant talk about suicide.
I just dont go to him anymore for support...

I really do appreciate the hug though.It let me know you were thinking of me!:)

kell i know what u mean (((hugs)))

Hugs to You All,
I don't frequent this forum, I usually hang out on the chronic Pain or Spinal Disorders, so I hope you don't mind me jumping in here with all.
Though I don't personaly know anyone that has commited suicide, I do want those of you that have to know you have my heart felt sympathy, I can only imagine the pain it has brought you as I have seen what I have done to my Children and loved ones by my last sucsseful attempt that the drs managed to bring me back from, that was back in "96" and I pray that I never try that route or any like it again.
I say that I believe that I never will do that again and say that I won't but in my heart of hearts I know that I can not promise as the last time was the first time that it was actually not planned out in my mind and I had not been thinking about, it was at a time when life was pretty good at least for what my life had always been.
I'd like to say that I have done a lot of research, talking to professionals since then and think I have a better understanding now of suicide traits of it, yes suicide can be an inheritaed gene one is born with, a chemical imbalance that has been passed on.
I don't know if I got mine that way or not but I do remember being suicidial from a very early age and eeven know now that when I wasn't even actualy planning it or thinking about it I was living life with it on my mind.
I also know that all 3 of my children have not only had the thoughts but have tried it and believe it's hard to try and tell your children how wrong it is when they have been in the waiting room of the hospital waiting to find out if their mom was going to make or or end up a vegetable forever, God how I hate what I have done to them.
Of course it is not always an inhertiated trait it just can be.
Anyway I understand it to be that it is one thing to think about," wishing that you were dead" and "how great it would be not to have to suffer with this life any longer", this is what some would call "normal" thinking.
It is now time to get help when you have not just thought about wishing you were dead, but have actually laid a plan as to how you will do it and even then when of it.
I know there was a time in my life when and if I was able to sleep I did so with a "22" hand gun under my pillow, just so that if I should not be able to bear the emotional pain of the night for one sec. longer I would just blow my brains out.
Funny you know I haven't had a suicdial though now that I have lived with CP for over 7yrs and with the possibilty of being paralized for me it has been the emotional pain that has always gotten me so down, I admit I often think of how I'm ready to go on but not of killing myself, there is a difference.
Anyway I just wanted to vpince my opinion and to tell you all how not alone you are and how sorry I am for those of you that have lost a loved one this way and for those of you that feel you may be at this point, know this there is nothing wrong with getting help when you need it the only real shame is not getting it when you do.
Hugs to all.
Linda

Sorry this is so long.

thanks linda for being honest (((hugs)))

Thank you so much Linda. Big hugs headed your way.

This is a very old thread, from 06, but has much important information in it about suicide ideation from Doody that I didn't want people to miss it. *grin

Wow, I read this thread as though it was written yesterday... I even added my thanks!

Well, thanks, dear Alffe for bumping it up! I'd like to continue the conversation by adding my answer to the original question:

I have suffered depression off and on (manic ups and lows) and have been medicated successfully (altho not always!) for the past 10 yrs or more...

I have had thoughts of taking my life (again, off and on) for the last 3 years - and these were times when stress and life circumstances overwhelmed and pushed me deep down.

Until that point, I could NEVER fathom what it would feel like...

Until that point, I could not have honestly told you I had thoughts of suicide because I had NOT yet experienced those thoughts...

when the thoughts came I realized what it felt like....

until then, I could only imagine...

In experiencing those deep down thoughts, I finally understood why people take their own lives.

I am very grateful that I didn't act on my irrational thoughts.

...and that Mr. Alffe took the gun away...

I pray that KELL has a more understanding husband now.. its been 3 years since she wrote above and I pray that her cycle of abuse has ended...

I hope cybil_who is at a good space in her life.

And I'll answer the original question with a "no answer"... define "normal".. :D