I fear for good reason
 

This may be a trigger for some:

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Forensics was in my house tonight as someone has tried to get inside my house with some type of instrument. They took pictures and dusted for prints. This scares me to death. I've go to find out how to get a decent apartment asp. My income does not qualify me for the one I want and I won't know if it will for 3 more weeks maybe. I have the resources to pay the rent but don't know how to approach the apartment manager with it. My lease here is not up till the end of May. My next door neighbor told the cop that I play my music loud. He said he's already heard that story before and didn't want to hear it again. My next door neighbor's friend in the neighborhood told the cop out of the blue that no one is doing anything against me. Well, why would she bring that up if she didn't know something?

I'm scared.

WEll that does sound scarey...no wonder you are upset.
I would be really shaken up as well.
I am sorry that these things are happeneing to you.
((((HUG))))
beth

Dear Barbara,

This sounds difficult. Was the cop able to reassure you in anyway? Can you have a deadbolt (or something similar) installed tomorrow?

I hope that you will be ok. Maybe you can start taking actions to get out.

M.

can you set up some little booby traps or noise makers by the windows and doors inside to make noise and a mess if someone tries again...
- plastic cups & containers , tin cans, pop cans, string

at least you'd get a warning from all the noise of things falling and it would probably scare whoever it was off too.....

ohh if you have some flour you could sprinkle some on the ground, after dark. By the windows or even the door outside if it isn't raining and if anyone steps in it - evidence on their shoes plus a foot print in the flour!

I'd leave the tv on or a light and radio on low tonite when you go to bed.

It could be just someone trying to scare you or mess with your head and not actually trying to get in ....


When hubby worked nights there was few times I sat up all night cause I heard cars driving by slowly - we're out in a rural area.
So that was scary too.

Thank you Beth, Mari, and Jo.

I have a dead bolt that the cop says will keep me safe. I can lock the deadbolt when I leave also. That is probably why the person could not get in. I do believe though that whoever did it did it to scare me. The cans by the door would make a lot of noise and is a good idea just in case. The windows have secure locks.

dear barbara
 

dear barbara,

you have got some good suggestions for the interim...

i probably don't need to say this, but i recall the discussion about mental health being the number 1 priority. it seems like this living situation however is EXTREMELY damaging to your mental health, as well as - and indeed because OF - real threats that are being continuously posed to you, and the harrassment you and any of your visitors (eg church friend on parking) receive. so my hope is that you will make getting out a priority.

as far as approaching showing how you can afford something, various documents can help... as applicable (not asking questions here)
official bank statement showing current balanace
official bank letter stating average balance over period of a year
official bank letter stating average monthly debit, over period of a year.
legal document stating award of testament and worth of estate involved.
stock/holdings account statement & dividends report.

however, the best thing to do wrt any apartment you are looking at renting, is to ask them directly how best to document your economic status. most commonly they want a copy of a paycheck since most commonly that is how the rent is paid. your case is different; you have the economic means to handle the rent but it is unrelated to a paycheck. In this case, i would directly asking the leasing manager at each place you want to rent, how best to document your economic status. each place may vary that is why i suggest you ask at each. to approach this, you start out simply stating the rent is affordable for you, why it is affordable to you, and then ask documentaion they would consider satisfactory as proof of what you just said.

i feel for you. i would not want to stay where you are living one minute longer. i don't guess there is anyone you can stay with... but also i sense you would not want to do that. you have become very independent and that is really worth something.

just don't let anyone tell you you're paranoid. being vigilant in your situation is what you need to do. i like the flour idea, heheh. makes me think of lieutenant colombo... love those old shows.

take care, Barbara. hang in there, but make finding a new place and moving into it #1 priority for the sake of mental health and physical safety.

i also hope you are able to reschedule for an appointment soon with your NP. make sure she knows you couldn't go because you were feeling too bad to make it. hopefully she will understand.

:hug:

~ waves ~

If her lease isn't up til May??
I wonder if there is a legal way to get out of it due to the stress and maybe even hostile living environment.

I think there is a law about hostile workplaces. Seems like it should apply to your home also.

Possibly a strong letter from your Dr?
Might be something to ask about after you update at your next appt.
And copies of the police reports/records.

I don't recall if you read over your lease to see if there are ways to get out of it.
Is there a agency or the actual owner over the local manager of your complex?
You might contact them if you need to go to the next level.

Thank you all. I spoke with 2 different apartment managers today and it's a no go with getting in on my income. I'm waiting for welfare to call and for the church to call me. The authorities are aware of what is going on and advise me to stay to myself. Where I live is family owned and family run. The owner's son today told me bold face lies when I questioned him today. I am documenting everything in case I need it. I am bushed as I hardly slept last night.

Barb

I'm sending hugs first. And then I am also wondering about whether a
dog or something would help you feel safe. Yes, I realize then
you would have a animal to move with you. But if you get a doctor's
note saying its necessary then its required in all locations for them
to allow this.

I really totally understand. I wish I could be there to offer you a
place to crash a few hours to get some sleep.

Donna

Thank you Donna.

I thought about a dog believe me. I also came to the conclusion that buying a mobile home might be easier since the lot payments are way less than what an apartment would be. I would qualify to live in a mobile home before I would an apartment income wise.

DV housing? low-income subsidized housing?
 

you seem to be holding out... so far so good. :Sigh: this sux.

family owned ... ugh. really really sux.

hey, you know... a complex i used to live in once booted me coz i had a good job then and my income was too high. right. too high. see, the deal is, they were entering a govt subsidized program to provide low-income housing, so had a CEILING income for their renters. i made out like a bandit because i wanted to get out anyway but instead of my paying to break the least, they gave me money because they were breaking my lease - it was part of the transition to the program, they had to give non-qualifying current residents 6 month's notice plus relocation assistance (several months' rent, listings of local and affordable places, and a reference).

thing is these places EXIST! there are govt. subsidized housing for low-income households, where the rules are reversed... you have to make UNDER a certain amount, not OVER a certain amount, to be approved.

now. i don't know how to search for this. nor whether all states do this. i was in FL at the time. perhaps others have ideas or you could start at some of the general .gov sites.

i found these:
US Dept. of Housing & Urban Development

US Dept. of Housing & Urban Development - find low income housing by county

Some DV victims are also eligible for subsidized housing, depending on income. You would have to apply and see if you qualify, also rules and income levels would vary from one area to another and from state to state. Your DV counselor would surely know how to go about applying however, and you may be able to find out something about it directly at the govt site above.

((( hugs )))

~ waves ~

Waves,
We still have income based housing like this in FL. I had to move when I got married -- but I didn't get any cash like you did!
I don't know how to do a web search though.
Someone who deals with housing should know this.
M.


Befuddled,
Do you have a housing office?
Some place in your county that handles housing for low income??
A good social worker who is connected and interested in placing people?

M.

i am waiting on a call from social services hopefully monday. i went to emergency room last night with chest pains. i need a stress test

Dear Barbara,

Sorry about the ER.
Can social services help find you a place to live?
Mari

Barb

I'm sorry about ER too. And I would hope that social services can help you
with a way to find a place to move.

I'm sending more good thoughts.

Donna

Oh dear
 

Sending hugs to you Barbara...

i too hope social services can help. :(:o

:hug:

~ waves ~

The owner's son put notices on everyone's doors that they will be conduction inspections from March 3 tlll about March 14th. All it was was a typed notice with no written singnature. I calll the owner up and told him the paper meant nothing to me without signature and that they'd better now come into my apartment without me here. They are doing this to have a legal right to come inside my apartment without me here and go through things that can incriminate them .

Dear Barbara,

You should be able to get some help.

Here is a forum I came across discussing dealing with landlords:
http://www.fairhousing.com/board/

There are other forums probably.

Do you have a Fairhousing (or similar named ) office / department in your state?

Try this
http://www.fairhousing.com/index.cfm...=agency.search

You can google search words like the name of your state and "rental advocates," "fair housing," "Attorney General Consumer Guide to Rental Housing"

If you have any papers or stuff related to your legal case and other documentation, then take it with you to the car, drive somewhere else, and then put it in your trunk. You might have to do more than one trip like this. Hide the papers in your regular purse or grocery bag so no one sees you leaving the building with them.

The sooner you can start making plans to move out, the sooner you will feel more in control of your situation -- even though you are still living there for a little while longer.




Mari

Mari

thank you Mari,

I have some calls to make tomorrow for sure. My next door neighbor called the cops on me Friday night saying I was taking pictures of her which was a lie. Then today here daughter's boyfriend double parked in front of my car and my neighbor's car making it hard for me to get in and out of my parking space.

My nerves are too bad to function now.

Barbara,
I'm worried about your nerves.
Can you find a way to calm down?
Somehow you really are going to deal with this stuff from the people there. In the meantime, it will be best if you can keep yourself in a good place emotionally and mentally. You'll be able to appreciate it more when it is all over anyway.
I don't know what tools you use, but we each have a few: sleeping, listening to music, drawing, walking, . . . Keep focused on the goal: good health for yourself.
I'm wishing you the best.
M.

Thank you Mari,

I baked pies tonight and have been going to sleep much earlier than normal for me. My blood pressure is sky high for the past month or so and I hope to go see the doc about it tomorrow.

Barbara,
Oh yeah, I remember now that you bake pies. What kind did you make this time?
Does baking kind of center you?

The doc will be able to help you with the blood pressure. If you get medication be aware that many of them have a side effect of depression. Ask questions.

M.