Stop the world........I wanna get off!
 

I think a lot of you know now that my brother recently died, and about the emotional trauma I went through in respects to certain aspects about his death.

I wrote in another forum tonight about what a good day I'd had, and how surprising the MSers at the GTG with a phone call, had really cheered me up.

I posted a photo of Grand Koala as well at The Stumble Inn and that made me feel good..........

And then I got a call a little while ago.......a very close friend who was just 3 weeks younger than me, died yesterday.

I hurt! I hurt really bad, and I can hardly stop the tears! I'm here, talking to you "my family" cos I need your support.

Who will be death number 3 ? Will it be me?

It's just not fair! Not fair at all!

What have I done wrong ?

Oh dear Anne.......:(...im so very sorry. Im awake now in an extreme pain
fog so Im not sure what help I can be to you right now but I wanted
you to feel my arms around you in a big cyber hug.

I wish you peace.

:hug::hug::hug::hug:

I'm sorry that that you're in pain too.... They're just different types of pain.

Hugs to both of us Soxmom.

Big cyber hugz.:grouphug:

Oh sweetie you have me crying here right along with you. I am so so sorry to hear of yet another loss for you. After losing my Dad, I just can no longer say all the words of comfort I once used to try to console people. It all seems so trite now. Words will not bring your brother,your friend back, or my Dad back.........they won't take away your pain.

I don't believe in that 3 myth, mainly because I have lived through deaths that no one else I knew passed, or more than 3. If nothing else, I hope to ease your mind about that. I am so very saddened you questioned if it would be you.:( I just got to know you, and your kind words have helped me so much, don't you dare go anywhere :p :hug:

I won't use useless words to try to console, I will instead say... Koala, I am so deeply sorry for your losses and the pain you now find yourself in.
May God keep you and hold you.
May He guide you and keep you safe.
May He hold you in the palm of His hand.
Deep peace of the smiling stars to you.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Oh Anne I am so very sorry. I don't believe in 3's either it's just that the older we get, the more friends and family we lose. I had a great Aunt who lived to be 99 and she would tell me that everyone had died and she wondered why she still continued to live...she'd say God must have something more for me to do.

We are all here for you dear lady..just keep breathing in and out. :grouphug:

The words "I'm sorry" never seem to be the right thing to say, but they are all I have.

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I greatly admire your strength and courage during these difficult times. I can only tell you that it does get better, eventually. You never forget, but it does get better. In the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Love and hugs to you all. :hug:

:hug: Anne :hug:

I'm so sorry you're going through so much right now. I wish there were words to take away the pain but we all know much too well that there aren't any. Please don't worry about the myth about the "3's".....that's just a superstition.

You and I have both have had more than our share of losses and I understand what you're going through - really, I do. At times it just feels overwhelming. I know the feeling of just wanting to "get off the ride".

All I can tell you is that you have lots of friends here (family, really) that love you and want to help. Nothing any of us can say or do can reverse what's already happened but we can offer a hug or just a word of compassion letting you know that you're not alone.

Even through your own pain you reach out to others in friendship and love and that says a lot about your sweet and compassionate nature. I sure do wish we didn't live so far away from each other or I'd come over and offer you a real hug and shoulder to cry on. But, cyber hugs and shoulders will have to do for now. :hug:

Don't punish yourself for what is totally out of your control. God knows your heart, Anne. He knows each of our hearts and will carry you through this trail just as He has carried me and countless others.

Just remember that we love you and care about you. :hug::hug::hug:



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Oh, dear (((Koala)))

I was hoping the happy surprise phone call to DM and AMN would carry you through the pain of losing your brother. And now you've lost a close friend. :( How very sad.

Know you are very loved by your NT family. We really care about you! :hug:

Just looking at your adorable Grand Koala made me feel better. Get that little guy and do some serious snuggle time!

Sending up prayers for comfort, inner strength and a measure of peace. :circlelove:

(((((((((((((((((Koala)))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry to read this and have lifted prayers for you:hug:

OK! The third thing just happened! :(

DH just came home from the store, and some-one has side-wiped our car while he was inside the shopping centre. No note. No nothing. :mad:

Not a lot of damage, thank goodness, but it's not nice just the same. We've only had that car since January!

Thank you every-one for your prayers and your kind words.

Maybe now things will start to improve for me......:grouphug:

no more counting toots!!

things are looking up. you made dm cry...hehehe. :p you gave us all such joy in that call.

just keep looking for the good in the bad. hubby wasn't in the car or standing near it. :hug: praise the lord.

any time we have friends with friends and loved ones is a blessing. the memories can't be taken away.

i always like to think, when the time comes for me...all those i love and miss the most will be there waiting.

Oh Koala, I am so sorry. :hug:

:hug: Anne :hug:,

I hope today is a better day for you. :)

Kelly


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I'd like to thank each and every one of you for your prayers and kind words of support.

Me and Him upstairs aren't speaking right now, because I have serious issues about what's been happening, and nothing seems to have eased off for me for over a year now.

I did however send a message last night, via a friend who guaranteed special delivery to he or she who matters, saying these tiny little shoulders have had quite enough for now!

I had that big bowel resection because of cancer, a major MS relapse, I had to give up work after 40 years of nursing, I can no longer drive my car, I've had to start using a cane/rollator to get around, I lost my nose to cancer............the list goes on and on. It doesn't seem to want to stop!

I know we're only supposed to be given what we can carry and no more, but hey.....did anyone notice I'm only 105 lbs and carrying far more than my share at the moment?

I don't want to play this game any more. I am not having fun! I'm all cried out, and it's time all this painful nonsense stopped.

I will go on, and it will get better. Today's another day but please let it be a better one.

Oh, dear little Koala! What can I say to make the world go away? :confused: You need a break, that's for sure.

Wishing a brighter tomorrow for you, my furry friend. :hug:

Thank you Ro.......... for everything!

.......http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/i...lies/16hug.gif

Wish I had some magic words to make it all better, Anne. Just take it one day at a time....that's all any of us can do. You're in my thoughts. :hug:


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All I have is just a big hug and a whisper in your ear that I have gone through what you have so I understand.

Anne:hug:

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sharing
 

I hope today was a healing day. that for just this one moment, trouble took a break.

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hang in there, Anne.

:hug:

we love you.

:grouphug:

Anne, sorry ... no cute graphics (as usual), but sending healing hugs across the ocean. :hug:

I hope as time progresses, that each day becomes a little easier for you to cope with all the hurt and losses you have suffered. No to mention all the challenges you've been through with your health.

Give little Wm's cheeks a pinch for me, K? :)

Forgive me if I repeat myself here, but I thought I'd update you all seing that you've been kind enough to check and see how I was managing.

This past month has been rather difficult for me, with the anniversary of my mother's death in May, the anniversary of my father's death this week, and the anniversary of the death of my first child.

Also last month my brother and a close friend passed away. I have on going issues with my only sister who seems to make it her whole life's ambition to cause me as much emotional pain as possible, and on top of all this I've had my DH's health to worry about.

I had major bowel surgery last September for cancer and I have to go see a brand new surgeon (we moved states) for a follow up colonoscopy on July 1st. I'm starting to get scared about that, and I've already put the appointment off once. I'm not sure that I want to know the verdict any more. I'm getting to the stage where I'd rather not know, because I just do not want to go through any more surgery! I think if they told me it had come back, I'd simply just back away and let Jesus take me home, or let "nature" take it's course, however your thoughs on that may be.

I lost my nose to cancer in January but I had the most fantastic surgeon, and you would never know by looking at me, unless you were told about the surgery. It's almost time for my 6 month check up for that too. Some people get all the luck, don't they? :confused:

On top of all that there's been stuff happening that I haven't bothered anyone here on the site with, but Gee Wizz......sometimes I wonder what I ever did to deserve all this "carp".

Thank you one and all for caring! I don't know what I'd do with out you now that we have met! You just happen to be the most wonderful, the most caring group I've ever met! :grouphug:

Anne, you have been through so much. I just shake my head and wonder how you have been able to endure all the burdens placed on your little shoulders. It's just been one thing after another for months and months.

I'm confident that I speak for all of us here at NT, that we love you right back! You are very frequently the first to welcome a newby and post a thread where we can all see it. You and the rest of the official welcomers and moderators do a fantastic job when it comes to drawing others in.

I hope you will be able to cope with your upcoming colonoscopy. We depend on you too much for you to take your own health anything less than very seriously! Please please please follow through this time!!!

Sending hugs across the ocean. :hug::hug::hug: Any news on when you'll be getting a new computer??? ;)

(((Anne))) I'm sorry you have so much on your plate right now...life doesn't seem fair at times.
Have you read Rabbi Kushners book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Or Frederick Buechners book, The Longing for Home...He wrote "The world can be kind, and it can be cruel. It can be beautiful, and it can be appalling. It can give us good reason to hope and good reason to give up all hope. It can strengthen our faith in a loving God, and it can decimate our faith. In our lives in the world, the temptation is always to go where the world takes us, to drift with whatever current happens to be running the strongest."

And I conclude that life isn't fair. Good people suffer and bad people prosper. It rains on the just and the unjust.

But I believe in hope..."that feathered thing" that sits in our soul and never stops singing.

And I give thanks for new friends like you who remind me to "keep on, keeping on" by her words of support and friendship.

:grouphug: Look up Anne, there are many arms reaching down for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alffe (Post 307506) (((Anne))) I'm sorry you have so much on your plate right now

I totally agree with Alffe. :hug:

Check your mail -- sending you a tiny plate so you don't have so much to deal with. :)

((Koala)) You have had an awful lot going on. :hug:

I'm so sorry about your surgeries! Please don't put off that colonoscopy any longer, though. I have to admit, I don't blame you for worrying before you go. I have one every fall because of my ulcerative colitis and each time I hope and pray they won't find any more cell changes. But still, don't put it off, please.

Hugs and love. :hug:

Anne, I know what you mean... and I completely understand.

time, patience, and allowing yourself to properly grieve, plus... a bit of *forcing* yourself to take CARE of yourself is all necessary...

:hug:

Oh Anne :hug:. I feel for you. I really do. I have never visited this area of NT before because I just have not been able to deal with the death of my mom AT ALL :(. I am constantly on the verge of tears; if I even think about her I start to cry. I've had one lousy year too. I just wish I knew where to begin to get past all of this garbage. I'm not on speaking terms with God either :confused:. I hope you find your way soon, :hug::hug:.

heartfelt
 

i hope i've spelt that right. don't know what to write just wanted to send a hug and a smile to let you know we're all here for you..:hug: