6 weeks today and still no support
 

:mad: my husband is not supporting me in my sobriety,he does not think i have a problem. at one time i had seven years of being sober and then relapsed and met him when i was drinking he thinks i should drink agian, i was blacking out all the time acting like a jerk binge drinking my liver count was in the 40 + got yelled at by my doc iwas hiding and sneaking my drinking,my daughter on many times saw me falling down drunk,,,,no problem i guess. he gets ****** when i go to meetings he thinks they are negative its just so hard.

You really do have a lot on your plate darkside. Do you have a counselor? :grouphug: It's mean of him not to support you in your efforts. :mad:

does he drink also -but not have a "problem" with it?

blackouts and such are bad things :eek::grouphug:

my bro has those once in awhile...:(
he goes way beyond his limit those times.

I think some just can not tolerate drinking, whether it is a little or a lot.

You need to do what is best for your health and well being, it's sad that your dh doesn't understand this..

maybe he doesn't like the changes or makes him feel guilty:confused:

It is your life do what you need to live it the best you can.

I don't know you, but I'm very sorry you're husband isn't more supportive. When people in our lives are like that, we have to be extra kind to ourselves. It's hard to be strong all the time so we have to do the best we can. Staying sober is a huge step forward in your life. I'm very proud of you for taking that step.
It sounds like your husband is jealous that you are spending time away from him. Maybe your drinking makes you more dependent on him, and he is afraid of loosing that power, or your attention? I think its important to keep his problem from becoming your problem, because just learning to cope without drinking is huge, without having to deal with another person's issues on top of your own. Be sure to talk to your sober friends so you have an outlet to get the support he isn't giving you. :hug:

Hi Darkside ~ Boy, I can understand what you're going thru. It sounds to me like "misery loves company." I suspect your husband drinks and he wants some company, right? He doesn't want to drink alone! Is this true?

The same was true of my now "ex." I got sober, and he didn't. When I was drinking, I too was a blackout drinker. I didn't know what I did EVER. I couldn't remember anything. I drank heavily for 20 years, and my poor kids had to watch me be a drunk. When I got sober, I made the best amends I could to my kids, and thank God they forgave me. But my husband didn't like the idea that I wasn't drinking anymore. In fact, he'd ask me to mix HIM drinks all the time!!! I told him where to go, cause that's just plain cruel when you're trying to get sober.

I went to meetings every night for 90 days, and sometimes twice a day. I got into service work, I worked the steps. I got a sponsor and did what I was told. This year by the grace of God, I'll be celebrating 17 years clean/sober. So it can be done!!! You dont HAVE to have your husband's support. You just need to know that you have your meetings for support, your Higher Power, and you need to have faith in yourself. You CAN do this! :D

Best of luck and God bless and remember ~ keep on keepin on. Hugs, Lee

I'm so pleased you found us, and believe me when I say how sorry I am that you have this to contend when you're trying so hard to stay sober yourself.

I have an alcoholic sister who's put me through so much pain over the years, but although this has gone on for a long time, she still will not admit to her own failings. She blames her drinking on everyone but herself.

Even though our situations are different, please know I have some understanding of your predicament.

Please stick around. Hopefully we'll be able to help you through your struggle. :hug:

Hi Darkside, I just wanted to say that I'm glad you're trying to be sober.

I'm sorry your husband isn't more supportive, but if you need to do this for someone other then yourself, do it for your daughter. My mom just went back to rehab because of her drinking. It's just so devestating for a child to watch their parents drink; and it has damaged me more then a little. The children of a alcoholic usually blame themselves for their parents' problems. And worse, it will teach them that drinking will solve their problems. But if you quit, you'll be teaching her a much healthier and happier way to live!

Trust me I know how hard this is for you, and I'm happy you're trying so hard. It will get easier, especially now that you have the support of everyone here. Just keep telling yourself that you're doing it for your daughter, she needs you to be strong so she can learn to be strong.

yes, sponsor?

Sponsorship and outward focused participation!

You would not like it if I were your sponsor.

Really? Can it be true?
 

I am just wondering if this can all be true. I think I drink too much. I dont (usually) do anything stupid, but I do black out. Therefore, I drink too much. My husband is amazing. He really is the best. Does the housework, laundry, cooking, vacuuming, ect... but he drinks beer every night. So therefore I drink wine every night. Ank my tolerence is building up. Not good. I dont know what to do.

A lot of people think that a blackout is the same as passing out. It's not. Blackouts happen when your brain essentially stops but your body keeps right on a-going. About as safe as putting a blindfold on and driving the car.

It's not really an issue of whether or not you do anything stupid, but of what those chemicals are doing to your body, & what your body may do (like drive a car) while your mind isn't in charge.
You drink every night because your husband does--is that so? Excuse me, but you drink every night because your body has developed a need for it every night. It's not your tolerance that has built up, it's your addiction.

No, it's not good. & you do know what to do: Get help. That's why you're here.

Darkside, how are you getting on? Please let us know how things are going.
I understand to a degree what your going through, as my Hubby was alcohol dependent and had been for years. He was lucky, as he had me to help him through.
Your Hubby may not be supporting you, but always remember there is support here!
Think about how proud you will be of YOURSELF, doing this by yourself!
I'm proud of you and I don't even know you!

My Hubby has been abstinent just over 14 mths now:D

Take good care
Buttercup x

Leigh, I think your taking massive health risks. If your blacking out, your body is telling you it cant cope with these toxins.
My philosophy is, if you think you may be drinking to much, then you are!
Please sit down and think about this. I know to well the health implications of alcohol addiction, after watching my Hubby go through it and his health problem now and he has been abstinent 14 mths.
Take care and good luck.
Buttercup x

I support what you are trying to do. I wish my huband would have done the same, his drinking problem led to depression and to then attemp suicide. I found him in enought time to save his life by givving CPR, but had he gotten treatment I don't think it would have led to that. So don't ever let anyone hold you back from what u feel is right if you want to live life sober than that's what you should do, If your loved ones don't support you than perhaps finding a friend that does would help.

My husband wasn't very supportive of me getting sober either. He would say that he was but then he would drink in front of me. I'm not making excuses, but it just made getting sober harder for me. I urge you to do everything in your power to stop. If you continue drinking the way that you are you're going to develop serious health problems. I hope you haven't relapsed again, but even if you have don't give up. You can get better, you CAN stop drinking. If you need to talk to anyone privately please feel free to message me. Good luck.

Black Bush
 

Hi Lutopia, sitting here half way through a Litre of Bushmills Whiskey.

I use it to mask other conditions but at the end of the day it is just another crutch to suport me.

I so admire you for your willpower to stay sober, it sure as hell is not the easy option. It is so easy to blur out the real problems with alchohol (as I am trying to do) rather than face things head on. YOU ARE GREAT.

Sounds like your sobriety scares him. Have you tried Al-Anon? Can you get to meetings during times like when he is working to get the support you need? I think a women's meeting would be a good place for you to be.

Hun i FEEL YOU PAIN, IT MUST BE HARD. when i WENT FOR HELP IN 2003 MY HUSBAND STOPPED Drinking to help me. H e did not have a problem.I did :hug:

Just do your program and one day he will see how great your doing.:) I know it's hard in the beginning. :mad:Reward your self.Get your nails done go tanning.:wink:Go to closed discussion group and get help there. Keep saying the serenity prayers.Accept the things we can change and the things we cannot. We cant change him and your doing awesome. Big hugs and congrats one day at a time.:grouphug:

Dark side, just wondering how you are. Hope all is good.