Maybe today?
 

Maybe today I'll get the call to schedule my surgery. I'm really wondering what the good Lord is trying to tell me with all this waiting. It's been about 14 months since starting this process (I did put things on hold for about 2
Months for my daughter's difficult pregnancy) so that makes it 12 months - still a very long time. Tomorrow it will be 8 weeks since I last saw the surgeon. I have some rather difficult allergies to work around so he said I should know by the end of the week if he'd be able to do the surgery with them. 8 weeks ago! Two weeks ago I got a call from his assistant saying he worked everything out around the allergies and I could schedule the surgery. But, he hasn't filled out the paperwork telling the scheduler how much time he needs, etc. so no surgery scheduled! Evidently this is not normal behavior for this surgeon.

I have to have surgery to do the trial - they couldn't get the leads through all the arthritis in my spine to do the trial as a procedure. I'll have the laminectomy to insert the paddle leads, be sent home for a week to try it, then come back for the rest of the implant if the SCS works.

I have A LOT of allergies, and other health issues. I'm a Christian - boy, how do I know if God is saying no to this surgery? Anyone have any ideas? I know this isn't the usual topic for this board, but you all understand the risks of surgery and how much the SCS could potentially help. I would appreciate
your thoughts on this - I just don't know how to think of this long wait. Call me frustrated and confused - searching for answers.

Resolve
 

Oh Eliza, I found myself in the throes of pain, waiting for this, waiting for that, and found in my heart, the Lord was not teaching me lessons intentionally in producing the waiting, for the waiting is a part of the scheme and calendar of humankind; rather, I found the Lord bringing me greater resolve, shared strength to bear another day, love eternal to know I was borne up in the prayers of so many who knew of the wait...... This is the place in which you find yourself, and we who pray add your awful wait and your pain to our intercession with the Lord in our daily talks with Him. May you be given grace today to feel embraced by God full in His love, and aware in time the calendar will pass as you take next steps hopefully toward best means in pain management.

Prayin,
Mark56:grouphug:

Unbelieveable!!
 

Hi Eliza

Nice to meet you :)

How absolutely awful for you having to wait A YEAR:eek: to have your surgery.....unbelieveable is all I can say!

This is not acceptable. Would you not just pick up the phone and speak with your Consultant or his secretary, or whom ever you need to speak with and INSIST that they get their act together and get this sorted out ASAP!!!

I feel for you I really do. When I had my trial I had to wait four months for my permanent implant, due to Dr's holidays etc but I thought that was an eternity. Dont know how you have waiting so long and how patient you are!

Give them a call.....it cant hurt but it might give you some answers

Hope you get something soon Eliza

Jackie:hug:

Let's consult the Good Book! :)
 

....."Be still and know that I am God...."

When I read your post, Eliza, that's the very first thing that came to mind.
But, Good LORD how long must we 'be still'....
One thing that I like to do when seeking a direct answer is to curl up in His lap and abide beneath His Wing. I cry out 'Abba Father' and try to rest in His Peace......and listen - to that still small voice.
Search within your heart ... When you are in that place of solitude, ask yourself - Do you have an 'uneasy' feeling about all of this, like a 'red flag' in your Spirit? Or do you feel somewhat excited about the prospect of what this surgery might do for you - like an 'eager expectation' (Hope).
I truly believe that God will make a way for you soon and that you'll have more peace about this.

You are reaching out in prayer and as we get our little 'prayer chain' going here, I feel an excitement in the air - that things are going to unfold for you very soon.

Ok, now, medically speaking >> How do you feel about your doctor? Do you have a strong trust about him.....or does he bring an uneasy feeling. Aside from the complications of your allergies and other health issues, has he indicated to you in no uncertain terms that you indeed make a good candidate for this? Or do you feel as tho he's doing this as a 'shot in the dark?'
From what I'm picking up on, it appears that he is taking the necessary time to research and piece together a good plan of action, taking in to consideration the fact that you aren't a 'textbook' case - you've got issues that will require a unique approach.
I'm trying to get a feel for how you perceive the doctor and if you are feeling free to put your confidence in him, or if there is anything that might be blocking the flow spiritually.

I probably sound like I'm way out in left field, don't I! :rolleyes:

Well, either way, I think it's pretty admirable that you openly profess your faith in this and we certainly want to hop on the bus with you and see you thru this!

:hug: Rae :hug:

Gosh, I know a little of how you feel with the waiting and waiting. As for wondering whether this is a sign from God not to have the surgery, I feel that too. All this waiting is making us doubt our decision too. As my Aunty marge used to says.. Patience is a virtue ... You must have it in bucket loads.

Stay strong. X x

Maybe a purpose for this wait?
 

I thank you all for your support, prayers, and questions to contemplate. They have given me great food for thought. I apologize for not getting back sooner, I saw your posts but was hoping to get on the PC rather than typing with one finger on my iPhone to answer (the arthritis in my hands is keeping me from typing). Alas, the iPhone will have to suffice. I did get a call Tues - the surgeon had Nov 30th open, but just the one surgery was on the form. I told the scheduler about needing the two surgery dates to do the trial, then a week later for the implant. She knew nothing about it (this is the 3rd scheduler he's had in the 8 weeks). She called me Wed morning - the surgeon said he needed a bit longer - he is trying to speak with my pain specialist - possibly we can do the implant and only surgery! Wouldn't that be fantastic! That's what I wanted from the beginning - do the trial in the operating room. Can I feel it where it needs to be? Is the sensation ok? If so, put the rest in. It's such a different situation than the norm - there's no way to do the trial other than surgery, and with all my allergies - two surgeries is rough! Praise God - He has not forsaken me. I'm praying this will happen - and this news is worth waiting for. So keep those prayers and good thoughts coming. I can't tell you how much I appreciate them, and for your support. Now I am in "getting ready for surgery" mode - eating right, getting shopping done and caught up in some things - the world feels right again. I can do this - I want this chance!

Now THIS.....
 

Seems to hail from the land across the Atlantic pond where they do precisely what you hope Eliza. Take you in, do a brief trial.... then if benefit is observed go for the GOLD of perm implant!! We on this side of the Atlantic are apparently much more litigious and quite a bit more cautious in our approach.... and it can be weeks between Trial and Perm!!! SO! If you succeed, we will have to have another party in Pooh's Barn to celebrate God's victory over your pain.

Wait patiently and give thanks, for the Lord, He is good, it is He who has made us,
We may do well to abide with Rae on this one.... take that comfy spot on God's lap and allow His grace to flow over you as you await the outcome,
Blessings,
Mark56:grouphug:

Thanks
 

Thanks Mark, and Rae - thanks for the questions you posed. They did help a lot by giving me some things to contemplate. I felt so good two days ago when I got the call that the surgeon was trying to do this in one surgery. Unfortunately that time experiencing God's peace has fled. I wish I knew what was so afraid of - i've had 13surgeries and never was afraid of a surgery like I am of this one. Four years ago I had a 12 day migraine then my eyes rolled back in my head and I was turning blue. My brain, for whatever reason (we don't know why) stopped breathing for me and I had a breathing tube and was sedated for a week, and stayed another 4 days in the hospital. I was so weak! and recuperate took an incredibly long time. I would say, in terms of walking /
strength, I still have not recovered. I've had one surgery since then, in 2009 - arthroscopic surgery on my right knee with the surgeon who has operated on me 4 times, and on my family members another three times. She is such a blessing to me! But - wish I knew where the fear for this surgery was coming from! I just don't know. Oh well, it's past midnight and time for bed. Hopefully the reason will show up so I can work on it. It will have to wait till the light of day. Thank you all - I so appreciate your support!

Fear Not....
 

....Fear not, for I have redeemed you
I have summoned you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters
I will be with you,
And when you pass through the rivers,
They will not sweep over you
When you walk through the fire
you will not be burned
the flames will not set you ablaze
For I am the Lord, your God....

Isaiah 43:1-2

One of my favorite scriptures. We even used to sing this when I played with the youth band at church.
Maybe write down some of these scriptures and carry them with you - and every time fear tries to overcome you, confess these out loud. I know that's easier said than done sometimes, but if you can somehow keep the fear at bay, it will keep the flow of His blessings, rather than block the pathway.
God's Peace - Shalom


:hug: Rae :hug:

The Word!!!
 

Thank you so much Rae... I love God's words.......

Blessed,
Mark56:grouphug:

Eliza, I think it's perfectly normal to be afraid of this surgery. I know I was very nervous, and I had had the comfort going in of knowing that the trial worked for me, which is unfortunately a benefit you don't have and I think that's also adding to your fears. When you suffer through chronic pain, any new treatment that you try it is so hard not to get your hopes up too high, to hope for a better future, while also preparing yourself for the possibility that it could not work. Also, it is scary to have something implanted inside of you. The thought of it, because it is not something that naturally belongs in our bodies. I hope I'm not sounding like a downer here because that's not how I mean it, but if I had to guess, these are some of the feelings you're going through, and I want you to know you're not alone and what you're feeling is normal.

A friend told me before my surgery that what ever happens, I am very brave for trying it. Those words really stuck with me and helped get me through my nerves. You too are very brave for trying an SCS, especially with how difficult surgeries are for you. Know and remember that :hug: Also remember that everyone here is supporting you and wishing you the best, and we're here to listen whenever you need to talk or vent.

Finally I'll leave you with one of my favorite Bible verses: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

Very well said Yellow!
You're not being a downer at ALL. I think you hit on some very valid points.

I love that scripture
Thanks for sharing that :hug:

Amen to that!
 

Amen, amen, amen,

We be here.
Mark56:grouphug:

Thank you so much Yellow!
 

Thank you Yellow - that was very comforting. I've spent the last 10 days getting stuff caught up so I'll be ready for surgery and getting ready for Christmas. I decided that no matter what date is offered, I'm not going to have surgery between Thsnksgiving and Christmas. I love the Christmas season and while I don't get to go to many things because of pain, I do get to do some and those I really enjoy! I've had a good week (yeah) so I'm going to take a shot at singing the Christmas Cantata at church. It's on Dec 11th and I'll have to make it to 4 practices to be able to do it. It would be great though! So I'm praying for a surgery date after 12/25 and making plans to do some fun things in between! Amen!

Eliza!!
 

Lift your voice up to the Lord in Praise... oh how I so enjoy when we do that!! We are singing our cantata for two churches as we've insufficient numbers to do it separately, so we combine, then sing in both places on tandem Sundays! Make a joyful noise, then may joy become your own as the Surg date approaches.

Interestingly, I had surgey on my birthday in 2006 to remove a bone spur which had grown from the fusion bone growth medium to further damage the nerve all the more. Seemed like a good birthday present to me!

Happy Thanksgiving, followed by Advent and Christmas,
yep, 'tis the season,
Mark56:grouphug: