New here
 

Hello I was so excited when I found this site. I was looking in hopes of finding some support and well just someone to talk to that understands. I will start out by telling you that my 10yr old daughter is bipolar1, OCD, ODD, sensory sensative and has frontal lobe seizures. My daughter is just getting to be to much for me to handle. She has been seeing psyc docs since around 3yrs old (early onset bipolar) from the time she was born she would beat her head and face on the floor or whatever was closest, try to bite you if you kissed her, her body would stiffen if you tried to hold her close, be playing one minute and the next in a rage. She has smeared poop on walls and floors, killed animals, says her imaginary friends want her to kill people while they sleep, stabbed me, bit, thrown things, trashed the house and hospital ers, eascaped from and beat up officers, takes six trained in restraint to hold her down. So much more, to much to tell. Anyways she goes to a special needs school with 2 teachers 5 students per class and a mental health worker in school. I have to go pick her up constantly because she is being restrained. I cant restrain her anymore she is 10 and 145lbs. I cant punnish her in any way because as soon as I turn my back she attacks me with whatever is closest which in the past has been pencils, hammer, teeth, chairs, vases and on and on. No one can stand to be around her. I cant take her anywhere. Im just so lost. Ive had every specialist in my home and taken her to every specialist. She is on ALOT of medicine and has been hospitalized several times. They said she is at the point where I need to institutionalize her before she kills me(which she has said she is going to do in my sleep) or herself. I have woke up before with the feeling of someone in my room when my eyes focussed, there she was just standing in the corner of my room staring at me and she asked "Are you dead yet?" I know this is long and I could probly go on for a couple hours. My thing is that in order to institutionalize her I would have to sign her over to the state and I cant do that. My eighteen yr old moved out because she is scared of her.

Hi,
You have a real situation here. First, you need to tell the school to stop
calling for you to pick her up. If they can't handle her then they need
to look at a different placement.

There would be a way to do a residential placement. This would fix it so you still have custody of her. But the school places her in a residential placement. This would be revisited every year.

If you can tell me which state you are in I might be able to help find you a advocate that can help you get this kind of placement.

I'm a parent advocate in Indiana and this is part of what I help do in cases
like this.
But for one thing. As long as you let the school send her home, then they will not take responsibility for her schooling.

Donna

Its so frustrating when they call because I can hear her growling and screaming in the background. Most of the time its to say come get her because we cant put her on a bus like this. I live in Tennessee. Ive had prefered options and others in home. The only others Ive heard of are like court advocates and she would have to be in their custody (states). Any help would be much appreciated.

Oops I sent that reply to you dmom (?) instead of posting it. Sorry still trying to figure this out.:o

OK :o Maybe this will work. lol I keep trying to post a reply but I think they are all going to Dmom.

Hi and welcome to NT!

You’re in a heartbreaking situation, but I know you will find information and support here.

If you haven’t already found it, our link to Parents of Bipolar Children is:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum80.html

The link to our general bipolar forum is:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum38.html

Cheers

Here is the information for NAMI Nashville (National Association of Mental Illness) they should be able to help you find help for your daughter...

NAMI Nashville, Inc.
1101 6th Ave. North
Room 107
Nashville, TN 37208
Fax: (615)259-7594
Phone: (615)259-7591

I hope this helps...
:hug:
Abbie

You did just fine. I need to locate my list of Parent advocacy groups.

But also the NAMI group should be able to help you.

Donna

some scattered thoughts. i hope this is a somewhat helpful
 

Hello,

Signing a child over to the state does become an issue for families with children who are suffering from mental illness that cannot be accommodated in the home. It also becomes a financial issue for families.

Do you have an independent advocate or lawyer outside of the system?
Check with
www.nami.org
www.bpkids.org

Also, Donna (Dmom3005) can give you some resources on this thread.

Normally I might tell you that it is important not to sacrifice one child for another. The eighteen year old should be cherished and protected.
But the eighteen year old is now a legal adult and has already moved out of the house. Still, that 18 year old will need to go through lots of healing after the turmoil in the family.
Are you getting supportive therapy for yourself?

I don't have children so I don't know how I would handle signing over the child to the state. If the state can keep her safe and keep everyone around her safe, that is one important consideration.
Some states do better job of this than other states do.

By the way, it is possible that some of these are garbage diagnoses:
The OCD, ODD, and sensory issues might be part of the bipolar -- not separate. It's possible that the care workers are focusing on the wrong things.
I would think that the seizures and the bipolar would be front and center for treatment. The others might be reduced once the seizures and bipolar are properly treated. ~~ These are just some thought if you have not thought about that already.

Where do you live? Have you taken her to a top pediatric psychiatrist (usually but not always based at a medical school). I personally know one genius psychiatrist in Belle Mead, New Jersey.

In this story, the daughter was eventually placed in a setting that the family was happy about:
http://www.healthyplace.com/parentin...er/menu-id-61/


This is difficult.
I wish you and your family well.

M.

She goes to Vanderbilt Psyc (which is a learning hospital). I agree with the garbage diagnosis, I believe it all to be symptoms of the bipolar. She is now hospitalized. She broke my nose last night. She trashed my house threw everything at me I have cuts and bruises from head to toe. When the cops showed up she threw the knife (I have no clue where she got it they are all locked up)she was holding at me and ran out the back door. They had to take me to the hospital with my child out on the streets (broke my heart) they just told me I had to get to the hospital by ambulance and they would find her. They found her two hours later. I was at the hospital for 12 hrs. When they found her they brought her there also awauting youth villages. I hate to say it but for the first time out of other hospitalizations, I am not crying and a wreck I actually feel a sense of relief.

I'm so glad that you could post today. I'm also glad that you can
feel some relief in this. Its really necessary that they do what they are.

I believe you may have to start thinking about not only her best interest, but also yours. Its really possible that if you let the state take over they could
figure it out.

I hope things start to look up.

I believe the agencies I could find are going to be more for school issues.
And I'm afraid you need more for a mental illness. I think nami would
be a good start..


I really believe NAMI is going to be the best start for you.

Donna

HI,
Wow. I'm glad that you both are safe now.
Mari

I found the 211 site for Tenneesee here on the website. I personally
believe you might go look through this too.

But here are a couple of places to call and talk too.

LifeLine, Inc-Community Parent Resource Center
Virginia Piper
1609 McCallie Ave
Chattanooga, TN 37404
(423) 991-4525; (423) 645-0504 (fax)
Email: virginia_piper@lifelinefamilies.org
Web: http://lifelinefamilies.org
Mentoring to families who have children ages birth-26 with disabilities. Support through the special ed process, teaching rights under IDEA, attend IEP meetings. Services are free.

Office of Children and Adolescent Services
Department of Mental Health and Developmental Disabilities
Cordell Hull Building, 3rd Floor
425 5th Avenue North
Nashville, TN 37247
(615) 532-6767; (615) 532-6612 (TTY)
Web: www.state.tn.us/mental

Parents Encouraging Parents (PEP) Program
Tennessee Department of Health
Cordell Hull Building, 5th Floor
426 5th Avenue North
Nashville, TN 37247-4750
(615) 741-0353


Try these.

Donna

Well she was in the hospital for ten days. Released on a couple new meds. Received a call the next day from them telling me to take her off because her level was to high. Her doctor called the day after that and said put her back on them and she couldnt believe they told me to stop a med cold turkey on a child that has siezures allready. She is back on the meds, but is driving me NUTSSS! She is going nonstop. She will not stop talking, sleeps about two hours a night and keeps talking about someone shutting and opening her door and the dolls eyes following her and shadows all over her room. I finally went to a psyc doc before she got out but do not go for a meds apointment till feb. I so need something for my nerves. never took anything like that before but if they dont hurry and get me something Im gonna be the one going into a psyc hospital with a nervous breakdown. I dont think I can deal much longer. HHHEEEEELLLPPPPP!!!!!

Hi,

While you are waiting for a psychiatrist appt (pdoc) , you can see your family doc to talk about whether some some benzos might be appropriate for calming your nerves.
The therapist (tdoc) can help you work out the decisions you are facing. Also you can feel stronger and less alone.

I don't know why they can medicate her so that at the very least she can can full nights of sleep. This sounds like very dangerous territory to me.
Talk to her doctor. If she is not sleeping more than 2 hours a night, she might be back in the hospital soon.

M.

Sorry for the quote.

But first I would talk to the primary doctor about whether these things happening that she is seeing are seizures. Because if they are then she may also need a medicine adjustment for them. Because the shutting and opening of doors could be a seizure.


I would definately want more control on the seizures too.
Donna

One-more-day, my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine how you do what you do.
Please start looking out for yourself more. It is amazing how you have managed to hold it together for ten years!

caution re: seizures
 

Hi...

just read through this... a quick note...

all these things can have psychiatric side-effects:
- seizures
- successful seizure control
- seizure meds (whether effective or not)

Children are neurologically more sensitive as their brain is still evolving... and some children more than others just due to individual differences, and so greater attention is needed with meds.

In general, many people with seizure disorders end up mis-dx'd as psychiatric cases for years, which just makes them worse as many psychiatric meds, not just antipsychotics, are contraindicated.

So, i really feel the seizure issue needs to be given some first line attention until you have good understanding of what experiences of hers are seizure-related, and subsequently, achieve good seizure control - with medication that at very least does not worsen any pre-existing (before ANY meds were involved) psychiatric symptoms.

the behavioral stuff and premeditative thoughts (killing animals, stating intent to kill you etc) make me thing there is likely some sort of psychiatric pathology (can coexist with seizures). those aspects are not inherently bipolar at all however. she could have another type of disorder.

unfortunately the psychiatric labels are easy to acquire and hard to ditch... sigh. and yes, any or all could easily be garbage diagnoses i would say... i she perhaps could benefit at some point from a long term stay as inpatient - for longitudinal observation and complete and careful RE-evaluation.

i also agree with Mari on getting therapy for yourself and if your 18 year old is amenable, legally adult or not, that is still very young... it might be good to even do some therapy together as well as apart. (just a thought).

my best wishes to you and all your family.

~ waves ~

Hoping you can return to update us soon.

Hoping things are goingwell.

Donna:grouphug: