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eva5667faliure 07-11-2016 06:30 AM

My child tried to kill herself
 
I almost lost my child
She shot herself up with all her insulin
In the hospital can't get through to anybody
Spoke with nurse Rob
She was right there
Wants me there
How in heavens name can I do that
Can somone please tell me what the F*** to do
All I can do is pray
What the F*** else do I do
I am watching my family die
Each one slowly
What Heavenly Father
What

OhKay 07-11-2016 06:52 AM

Words can not express how sorry I am to hear this news this morning, Eva. I wish I could embrace you for real, but all I can offer you is: :hug::hug::hug:

I have only experienced this situation from the other side. Even though I've had some discussion about what I did with my family, I'll never truly know the extent of the damage I did… what I put them through. But from this prospective, I can tell you that your daughter must have been very ill and/or desperate to have done what she did, and I'm sorry that she was hurting so badly that things got that point.

I can understand how hard this must be for you, especially since your family dynamics are so complicated, and it's common for people to be confused as to how to handle a suicide attempt. It must be overwhelming :hug::hug::hug:

If you are strong enough to be there for your daughter, that is my advice, since she does want you there. Prayer may help give you that strength. I hope that you will seek comfort and advice from others who are close to you (maybe your sister?) right now to help you get through this.

You will both be in my thoughts and prayers :hug::hug::hug:

All my love,

Kay

bizi 07-11-2016 07:24 AM

I am so sorry, kay said it well.
Be there for her...
let her talk, encourage therapy. She will probably be put on meds if she is not already on them. May go to a psych ward for a while or intensive out patient therapy as she needs professional intervention. Feeling helpless is quite a normal response I think.
I am sorry that your family is going thru this.
How terrible...
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Skeezyks 07-11-2016 04:00 PM

Hello eva: The Skeezyks has made a couple of attempts of his own previously. Yes, as bizi mentioned, it's likely your daughter will be transferred to a psychiatric ward once she is medically stable. The thing I want to mention here is that, both times I was hospitalized following suicide attempts, when I was discharged there was little done to ensure I received ongoing treatment following my release. And pretty-much what little was done was all wrong. As a result, I simply ended up going home & sitting.

So, from my perspective, the important thing here (in addition to being there for her now) is for you to take an active role in seeing to it that there is an appropriate aftercare plan in place for your daughter once she is released from the hospital, whether it is directly from a medical unit or from a psych ward. This will help to minimize the risk that this very sad event will recur. It can also be of benefit to you. It can give you something to channel your grief into. Please do also keep in mind that this is taking an emotional toll on you as well. You may also want to reach out for some support in real life whether it be to a trusted family member or friend or possibly a mental health therapist. I wish you both well... :hug:

DMACK 07-11-2016 05:25 PM

Dear Eva

This is very sad news:hug:.......

Some great advice has been put in print already and in a positive way

The only thing I will add is....don't seek answers to your questions for some time...let them come without you asking

Play a mothers role...be there..offer a shoulder to cry on...and develop a good listening ear.

We all have a story in life...in time I hope your daughter tells you hers....

When we hear e persons story we can decipher the mindset of that person...and then we can either adapt to or influence a persons life choices..

You have a huge heart Eva.....follow it.
David:hug:

OhKay 07-12-2016 06:18 AM

Thank you for bringing up aftercare guys. It's a very important issue.

I don't think I would be as ****ed up as I am now if I stayed in the hospital longer after my s/s attempt (I checked out AMA) and received treatment some time in the month after I left (I had insurance issues).

I'm sorry for all you've had to go through Skeezyks. It sounds like you have been through an awful lot :hug::hug::hug:

Thinking of you and your daughter today Eva :hug::hug::hug:

eva5667faliure 07-12-2016 09:18 AM

I don't trust anybody in the system
 
It was a tough day yesterday
Many things happened
It all started when I was put on hold for
16:22 seconds on the phone
She was still in the ER
First nurse to attend to care for my child
Nurse Rob when got that phone call
At 1:30 in the morning
I do not have to tell anyone what that feels like
All of her insulin she would have been successful
the doctor said if just less then a half hour before she went to the hospital
Spoke to Rob again in the morning she was stable
As the day went on
I had the worse experience of my life wit nurse Cathy
Who brushed me off a quick as quick is
I pulled a dress over my head
Put the food that was made for my two at home
in containers and shot over to the hospital in a hop skip and a jump
As they ate in the car
I rushed my head ready to explode
I was so angry
Each of you special wonderful souls
If I haven't said it a hundred times
Here goes
That phone call
Has been a fear since she has left when younger
This is my fear with Corissa also
My child distraught about life and not able to stay clean is weighing heavy on her heart
She sees no hope
Until mommy came down and took care of business
And I mean business
Told by this woman who in my opinion had no business being in the field she was in was just the pushing that button
I not only got police escort along with security to see my child
But to speak with the attending supervisor about the utter disregard to a patients my daughter
I understand the law but to give me just the vitals
Is she alive or dead
Is she breathing or not
Do they even know I was the one who called the hospital
to let them know what she did they had no clue what was wrong until I called
And then to be ignored by a nurse who could have spent sixty second with me hung up

She is stable
They gave her a bed real quick
Was in the ER for almost 48hours
And there were beds available
I am floored at the health care provided by some
very unprofessional manner
And a system that NEEDS REVAMPING

my father shot and kill himself around the block from our home at the age of forty seven that was thirty six years ago
I was nineteen already lef my home
Because of him
I have been in that dark place for about two years not to long ago not to Lang ago
All my children tried to off themselves at one time or another
And each time one falls into that abyss I try so hard to listen to the same difference
Excuses changed over and over again
I cannot do anything but let them know I live them
I would be broken if they succeeded
We would be broken as a family
Each of my children brilliant in their own right
Brilliant that is sometimes a curse

My child who was almost successful
Has everything to live for
This is not about mommy
It is mommy they call out for when they don't want to die
She is distraught in her early thirties was problematic in her behavior while getting ready to enter high school
A talented natural
When she was born attracted attention
And took that with her throughout her live
And lost sight about herself
Hung out with true thugs and drugs
Guns violence
This is what her twenties was all about
Helpless and powerless and was getting myself the help needed
AA my medicine
Living life on life terms
Not an easy thing to do
Especially in today's world
I care very much about getting the
WORD OUT THERE
IT IS POSSIBLE
ONE CAN LIVE SOBER
it is the ugly things one must work through
And FORGIVE THEMSELVES
THEY MUST FORGIVE THEMSELVES AND WANT TO LIVE
I know
I'm living it
Oh how many times just for a brief moment
The thought comes into my mind and think
No more anything
Just over
But is it really
How do we know
I will always be the rock of this family
When she seen me come around the curtain
She was my baby all over again
Today she is in a room upstairs

I want to express how very sad I am how
MENTAL HEALTH IS NOT ADDRESSED
I understand how difficult this area is for many doctors
We really really really need to look at society and see the mental
BOILING POT THAT IS GROWING OUT THERE IN THE WORLD
LOOK AT ALL THE PLASTIC SURGERY TO SUCH YOUNG CHILDREN
FOR SOME WHO ARE TAUNTED
by cruel children in school
For example
Ones ears may need pinning back
For the taunting has taken away from that child
And the parents don't get it or see it as a potential start of a difficult road of loving oneself
You HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF
IT IS A MUST
it is the backbone of our strength
It is shown on different firms
Some soft some brutally honest
I will never give up on my babies
And will alway be in there lives for as long as they want me in it
I have come to learn my eldest has become a regular at a bar
A place where poetry is read and shared
She is on epileptic meds
And drinking a absolute NO NO

My son drinks
My third child who is in the hospital drinks
My youngest has entertained it to the point of blackout point
All tried to kill themselves
All stemming from a way they think they cannot change
the pain that has built throught their lives
The turn to numb it all
I know what alcohol does
It is my drug of choice
Not today
Not today
I have chosen to go through this day
Blessed by Heavenly Father and make it till I put my head down to retire for another day if Heavenly Father has me wake
A choice
Never easy
Never
Sometimes all I can say is
Heavenly Father the pain this family suffers
Will I get to see them get it without hurting themselves

MENTAL DISEASE
prevelent in the world
We have heads of countries
With young ones with the power to destroy the ENTIRE WORLD

some haven't reached puberty and rule their country
I think my point is understood
I'm not talking politics
Although it is ALL IN THE POLITICIANS HANDS TO GET TO THE ROOT OF MENTAL DISEASE

LOOK IT IS REAL
it can't get anymore real then to want to kill oneself
And to think it will go away
It will NEVER GO AWAY
it is just like any other kind of addiction out of control

How can this country no see what role they have in it all
And not do anything about it

My mother a perfect example
Worried when we were young in the seventies
that we were going to be drug addicts
He was right
Yet the one thing my mother did not see
Is she became a physican induced addict who is out of control
Was receptive to hearing "IT"
Did not want to believe it
She has had the trial of the "NEURO STIMULSTOR"
It worked
She is vacationing in her country Hungary and then to Italy where her exhusband who is with her will spend time with his family

Upon her return
She will resume the "NEURO STIM" possibility
Hers began with chronic pain
But that is not the point

Suicide and any cry out I take seriously
Very seriously

The hospitals need to get a better handle on the very young to the elderly and all those inbetween
Are crying out by acting out
They are released back into the world
Like my child a PCP user
And that magical liquid that helps it along
LEGALIZED ALCOHOL
NOT LOOKED AT AS THE most dangerous drug out there
I cannot do anything but call upon the angels Heavenly Father
and the Holy Ghost to be in their hearts and minds
That they find that glimmer
To look for it

What is the medical community doing
Sitting on their hands and look the other way

Let me not forget the very few who DO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY
I THANK

BUT I DO NOT TRUST THEM OVERSEEING HER
ESPECIALLY BECAUSE SHE IS A ADULT AND IS EASILY LET GO
oh I forgot insurance
If you don't have it you ARE not treated EQUAL
shame
For all the outpouring of well wishes for my family
any and all prayers are ALWAYS welcomed
I will call the director of the hospital and give recognition to those who helped my child
And to bring to their attention of the few who hurt the system
I thank you from the deepest place in my heart
To those who suffer as my children
My family
My sisters
Parents
And the future of this world
I pray change happen sooner then later

What is going on is this country right NOW
many who hate are ill mentally
Where is the love
Can we all agree to this
With a heavy heart
Love
Me

I am so lucky to have you all to hear me and be at my side
and help when I cannot help them anymore when I just don't know what to do

It hurts so deep and hard

OhKay 07-13-2016 07:46 AM

Dear Eva,

I know that you still carry a lot of guilt because you abused alcohol when your children were young, and because addiction runs in families because of learned behavior and genetics…

Both of my parents were alcoholics, but I want you to know that that was not a factor in my suicide attempt (although my father's behavior at the time was). I do not blame my parents' alcoholism at all for my suicide attempt. Some people are predisposed to be addicts, but ultimately we are responsible for our own behavior. In my case, the main reason I attempted s/s was because of mental illness. Please try your best not to blame yourself.

You are right: There is an overwhelming need for more and better mental healthcare, as well as treatment for addiction in this country. Unfortunately, individuals need to seek treatment themselves- whatever resources are out there, unless they are committed because they are a threat to themselves or others, or are arrested and required to undergo drug treatment.

It is a hard thing to learn how to love oneself. Certainly, not everyone gets there. We do the best we can, and hopefully reach out for help when we need it. If we can't do that, hopefully others will reach out to us, and we can accept the help that is offered.

Since your daughter's s/s attempt, you seem to be reliving your father's suicide and remembering his abuse, and your mother's denial. You must be going through an immensely difficult time because of that… I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. If you are currently seeing any mental health professionals I urge you to reach out to them now. Take advantage of any services that a social worker may offer or suggest to you.

I am so sorry that you had such a terrible experience with the hospital staff, and that the delay of information about your daughter's condition caused you more distress. You are right in that some people should not be nurses or working elsewhere in the medical profession. I came to the same conclusion working in hospitals myself.

I'm glad that you have the strength to be there for your daughter. She needs you now. You are a good mother, Eva. Just keep loving her, and that will help you both get through this.

I'll pray for the strength for you both to get through this :hug::hug::hug:

eva5667faliure 07-13-2016 08:02 AM

So much to talk about
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by OhKay (Post 1216941)
Dear Eva,

I know that you still carry a lot of guilt because you abused alcohol when your children were young, and because addiction runs in families because of learned behavior and genetics…

Both of my parents were alcoholics, but I want you to know that that was not a factor in my suicide attempt (although my father's behavior at the time was). I do not blame my parents' alcoholism at all for my suicide attempt. Some people are predisposed to be addicts, but ultimately we are responsible for our own behavior. In my case, the main reason I attempted s/s was because of mental illness. Please try your best not to blame yourself.

You are right: There is an overwhelming need for more and better mental healthcare, as well as treatment for addiction in this country. Unfortunately, individuals need to seek treatment themselves- whatever resources are out there, unless they are committed because they are a threat to themselves or others, or are arrested and required to undergo drug treatment.

It is a hard thing to learn how to love oneself. Certainly, not everyone gets there. We do the best we can, and hopefully reach out for help when we need it. If we can't do that, hopefully others will reach out to us, and we can accept the help that is offered.

Since your daughter's s/s attempt, you seem to be reliving your father's suicide and remembering his abuse, and your mother's denial. You must be going through an immensely difficult time because of that… I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. If you are currently seeing any mental health professionals I urge you to reach out to them now. Take advantage of any services that a social worker may offer or suggest to you.

I am so sorry that you had such a terrible experience with the hospital staff, and that the delay of information about your daughter's condition caused you more distress. You are right in that some people should not be nurses or working elsewhere in the medical profession. I came to the same conclusion working in hospitals myself.

I'm glad that you have the strength to be there for your daughter. She needs you now. You are a good mother, Eva. Just keep loving her, and that will help you both get through this.

I'll pray for the strength for you both to get through this :hug::hug::hug:

Dear friend

It has been quite some time that I have had thoughts about my father and his suicide attempt

When I was a young teenager
Sixteen
I tried to starve myself to death
I wrote briefly about it
I remember my sister trying to get me to eat bottled pickles my parents made from the basement
My young life has very little happy memories
Under the age if five
While still living in South Africa
Watching my father beat and rape my mother
Many beatings
I got one so bad and was dragged up more then ten steps
and my foot couldn't grab a step
Many time my mother turned her head when my father would act up
It was a volatile relationship
I married for all the wrong reasons divorced very young twenty four with my then three babies
Never to be that involved with anybody
As I seen and had enough and did not want anybody involved in our lives
I still to this day have only come across one man who gets me and can be honest how men are really are much of it their make up
however a happy childhood I am sure would have been a better place
Understanding loving parents
It was not something my mother wanted
My father wanted to have children
Only to have a punching bag
And got off watching his children myself and my middle sister naked
Never got to my youngest sister
Threatened with guns and horrible stuff

Not the point

I never trusted anybody to be worthy enough to have me or my children
I tried to protect them from some horrible things

I do not blame myself
Have gone through many therapist
To my phycotheripist I just fired after seven years with hi
Biweekly
Not worth going into
I trust my gut
It NEVER failed me
Always being honest with my babies
Always
Secrets are not necessarily a good thing
You get what I mean
I don't believe in them
They are lies
Just hidden
I wanted not for anybody to hurt my babies

And then there was me
I became a alcoholic went out of control for about ten years
The last five of them is when I lost my privileges
There is a huge history about addiction and depression in my family and culture
I am a Hungarian
My father Klee himself
Left a note
To the end called us all whores
A racist Hitler follower
I the black sheep
Hated my father

Then my children see me become that monster
I mentally screwed them up
I hit them when I was angry with them
And they were my babies
I asked them to forgive me for my terrible ways when I was that drunk
I love them to death
They all know that

I entered AA in 1990 and took it seriously in 1992
My children bright and gifted had me for their mom
and I tried to apoligize and found they used that to blame me for their addictions
I know about all the reasons on can become a addict with whatever drug drink,food,cleaning,hoarding,reading,social media,sex and the list goes on
Whenever it interferes with ones life where they are consumed with it
ITS A PROBLEM
I understood this before becoming a teenager
A rebel
Someone who kept it honest and real and my father hated that
My mother was all about herself
On the outside we were that perfect well groomed family
My mother loved money
My fathe worked like a horse
This is what defined him
A animal hunter
Sportsman
Wanted boys
Had three girls
My mother aborted the fourth baby
her first child with anothe husband died within a few weeks

I tried to protect my sisters
Turns out when confronting my mother in a drunken state
She didn't believe what I was telling her in front of her leering new husbands eyes on my then young Saraeve
All hell broke loose
Yes there are many many many things that happened
But I made it
Through it all leaving at seventeen and never looking back
I am still alive and here

Trying to get it right
Keeping it always real
I am not afraid of the truth
However bad it might be for others
I choose to keep it real at a very early age
A rebel
In my fathers face I would be
When I didn't peel a potato correctly
For him that meant you should be able to see through the peel
There isn't a day when I touch a potato I don't have horrible memories
I'm okay today
Worked through very hard things
The most important
To be the best mother and grand mother I can be
They mean everything to me
I was blessed
Because I wanted to be a mommy a really good mommy
But I hurt them without seeing it
Blessed today to be living a sober life
My choice of drug is ALCOHOL

My daughter has many things she needs to work through
She was three months old when I split with their father
And was an absent one at that
Just fixed on harassing me for the next ten years after I divorced him
He lost sight of his children when fixed on his sick obsession on me
My life was in danger many times
My kids remember some stuff
And the weird thing is
I did not want my kids to have a life lik I did
We it was a tough road raising them and with the help of my Heavenly Father and those who were and are still there for me in AA
Living a sober life was when things changed for the better
Making amends the hardest thingi had to do
For my children

And now my children with their mom sober for most of their lives
Make no mistake damage was done forever lasting by me
They understand my soberiety gave me my life back as one should be living the simple principals that are freely offered
It works if you work it
It really works and is a beautiful thing to see one get sober
I have children all dabbled with drugs and now drink and think it is t a problem
I most certainly is
They understood there is a predisposition already in them
I taught them never to lie
It is not the kind of person who lives happiness knowing they live a honest life making an honest living and pray the haven't any hangovers from their young life
Thank you Heavenly Father for keeping them safe when in my care

I am a vocal mom
I talk and talk and keep the lines of commucation as open as possible
They know there is only a limit to what I have to offer
They are not doing very well in the mind altering ways
Each their very own beautiful selves have problems I pray they work on and out of their lives
I will never abandon them
But I cannot be the one to make it happen
I pray for all of us
It is in the family big time
And I'm trying to keep it together
It is tough
When I am the go to person for everything
I need to back up and watch them handle life
It is a tough life for us it wasn't our fault
So many factors
Predisposition
Enveriomental
The schools are in shambles
Trying to get my old boss the mayor of the town I grew up in forty six years
Trying to get her the best to offer her the new schools that just went up
throughout the town

Her mom still in the hospital

Anyway
This family has the work cut out for them
And I will never give up on them
And their minds need help
There hearts in pain as they have that monkey on their backs

You concerns right on point
This is where I find I get the real stuff
Not what my doctor would think
Loved to try all the meds that put me in a very dark place
And dismiss my real concerns
Getting to a good place so I can live my life
He kept me on for the bucks
I wrote briefly about it
He did not like me calling him on his game
Yet it was the truth

Need to power up the iPod
Have more to add be back in a bit

My daughter distraught over many things including not being able to be there for her child
It has been a rocky road from the very beginning
Seventh grade
She is thirty
Have had her to every kind of help private and others that could help
She has been to a long term rehab to short term
Went to every avenue and revisited them when I still had control
Once she turned eighteen it was a different kind of problem
I cannot even begin to start
It never stops
It has got to come from them
They have to make it happen

I have this place left in my life to come to when I have something going on and need to vent or feed back
I have come to meet very special persons here
I cannot do anything but hang on to hope
It is the only thing I have left
HOP AND A PRAYER
That they will find their way
There are so many things that has happened throught this life of mine
And to watch your child crumble before you and know you cannot do anything about it
Powerless over anybody period

I wake as Heavenly Father has me wake
And I give my very best
I lean on my faith
My fellowship
And those who have been there
Many are around for support

You concerns and kindness taken to heart
I hear what you are expressing
Thank you for listening
Bless you and ALL who care about me and my family
Love
Me

Alffe 07-13-2016 08:11 AM

Eva you did the right thing in rushing to the hospital. We should always trust our instincts and you did just that ! I call that mama cat stuff . And the guilt that we feel regarding our children's activities also goes with the territory .

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers . 💕

eva5667faliure 07-13-2016 10:58 AM

You know it
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alffe (Post 1216948)
Eva you did the right thing in rushing to the hospital. We should always trust our instincts and you did just that ! I call that mama cat stuff . And the guilt that we feel regarding our children's activities also goes with the territory .

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers . 💕

Just like you said
It was in my gut
Thanks
Love
Me

OhKay 07-20-2016 08:30 AM

How are you and your daughter doing, dear Eva?

I've been thinking of you both… :hug::hug::hug:

eva5667faliure 07-20-2016 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OhKay (Post 1217651)
How are you and your daughter doing, dear Eva?

I've been thinking of you both… :hug::hug::hug:

dear friend
it is very difficult to mention
after the attempt
and i at her side
was to try detox again
however she has not followed through
doing all she can to allow the help to wash over her
i had to block her
never doing that in my life
she became very demanding
telling me how she will manage

there is no managing
period
getting that phone call i dread
and then ordering me around
i just couldn't anymore

i think you understand
be well
thank you for your concern
love
me

OhKay 07-22-2016 09:26 AM

It sounds like she is being manipulative. That can obviously be be a common feature in addicts, but can also be a common feature in some mental health disorders. Does she have a psych diagnosis?

Did she ever spend time in a psych ward?
I understood that she's in detox… sometimes they mix those patients in together. That's what they do in the hospital I go to because addicts tend to have a lot of mental health problems, too

I'm sorry that you had to take a step back because she became overbearing, but you did a difficult, but wonderful thing by being there for her when she needed you. Maybe given a little time she'll renew her appreciation for you and you can resume a healthier relationship together :hug::hug::hug:

eva5667faliure 07-22-2016 05:40 PM

My hope
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by OhKay (Post 1217890)
It sounds like she is being manipulative. That can obviously be be a common feature in addicts, but can also be a common feature in some mental health disorders. Does she have a psych diagnosis?

Did she ever spend time in a psych ward?
I understood that she's in detox… sometimes they mix those patients in together. That's what they do in the hospital I go to because addicts tend to have a lot of mental health problems, too

I'm sorry that you had to take a step back because she became overbearing, but you did a difficult, but wonderful thing by being there for her when she needed you. Maybe given a little time she'll renew her appreciation for you and you can resume a healthier relationship together :hug::hug::hug:

Yes this is my hope
And it force her to do the motherly duties
Like getting her registered for school
Must get her medical check up per school
Uniforms
You get the picture
I will be getting her ready fed
With her lunch box and ready to roll
She must step up

She has had every kind of help for mental help then I can count anymore
It is now a matter of
Just do
Before all the time is gone
And I having to raise another
You I am sure get the picture

Her excuses are old

Time for action
Though very scary
Getting another call in the early morning
Thanks for the concern and suggestions
Will try it all and revisit if must
Love
Me

OhKay 07-23-2016 04:48 AM

I hope she takes advantage of the help that is offered to her from a psych and addiction perspective, and is able to start turning her life around :hug:
You will sleep better for it :hug:

But sometimes even though the worst has already happened, it can take something a little extra (good or bad), before we can really realize that change is necessary, and are lives are worth the effort :hug:

I know you will take care of the little one. Don't forget to take care of yourself.
:hug::hug::hug:

All my love,

Kay

eva5667faliure 07-23-2016 05:24 AM

Kay
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by OhKay (Post 1217966)
I hope she takes advantage of the help that is offered to her from a psych and addiction perspective, and is able to start turning her life around :hug:
You will sleep better for it :hug:

But sometimes even though the worst has already happened, it can take something a little extra (good or bad), before we can really realize that change is necessary, and are lives are worth the effort :hug:

I know you will take care of the little one. Don't forget to take care of yourself.
:hug::hug::hug:

All my love,

Kay

Dear Kay

As for myself
I'll will do the best I can
Eva at five understanding
Long and short vowels
I taught her in song
Most of my teaching is done in song
And she loves itand gets it
Addition and subtraction is what we are on now
So bright
So loving
One just can't help but cry
When watching her and then thinking of
My child cuts deep
She knows I support her she just needs to want it

Now how badly
At what cost
I worry
And wonder
And pray
She get better sooner than later

My eldest just got her first batch of her published work
She is a true authentic poet
She has made her milestone
And accomplished her dream
To be an author of her work
Worthy she is
Called and shared it with me
My fear that drinking may get the better of her one day

She has accomplished much in her 35 years of life
With her epilepsy
Having part if the occipital lobe taken and become blind
in the hope to irradiate her seizures
Failed
But kept moving forward
Still have my stupid worries

The are adults
But only I know what
Loosing your privilege to drink in a social manner
Eventually that's out the window most times
This I know for certain
My fears
Mine
Your concerns noted
And will always be where they can't see me
Love
Me

Skeezyks 07-23-2016 09:52 AM

Hope all has gone well since you posted this... :hug:

eva5667faliure 07-23-2016 01:04 PM

She is doing
 
Got word she made the appointment
for her physical
A start
And she will be forced to do more
Only hope left
One moment at a time

OhKay 07-24-2016 05:48 AM

What a bright little one at five to be working on math! You have a wonderful teaching method that is obviously working well.

Congratulations to your daughter for getting published! You must be so proud!

"Still have my stupid worries."
No matter how old your children get, they will always be your babies, and you will always worry :hug::hug::hug:

I'm so happy your daughter made an appointment for a physical. I hope someone/something will reach her, she will stay safe, and continue to take additional steps towards getting healthy soon :hug:

eva5667faliure 07-24-2016 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OhKay (Post 1218088)
What a bright little one at five to be working on math! You have a wonderful teaching method that is obviously working well.

Congratulations to your daughter for getting published! You must be so proud!

"Still have my stupid worries."
No matter how old your children get, they will always be your babies, and you will always worry :hug::hug::hug:

I'm so happy your daughter made an appointment for a physical. I hope someone/something will reach her, she will stay safe, and continue to take additional steps towards getting healthy soon :hug:

good day
yes very proud
title of her book
you must be this TALL to ride
im sure on amazon

i am so tempted to call my grandchilds mom
my daughter
it is so hard
but she will be doing things for her daughter
like it or not
and hope she sees it is the task of taking care of her child
but can only do that when taking care of the mental disease that is in my lineage
i speak openly
for it needs to be TAKEN seriously

and yes this mommy worries when her babies are not doing well
and hope and all my faith
it be better
sooner then later

my son actually acknowledge his big sisters accomplishment
a big deal when it come to him
and i told my daughter
it is a good thing he noticed
in unexpected times and ways

and as a mother
it pleases me when they are together

when all out of my hands
i MUST turn it over
for True serenity
happiness is my wish for all
thank you
love
me

OhKay 07-25-2016 04:51 AM

I'm so glad that there is some good happening despite all the ugliness that has happened as of late :hug::hug::hug:

eva5667faliure 07-29-2016 08:05 PM

She is seeking help
 
It is something she finally doing for herself
Not any reason but for herself
In the hospital
She is getting help by making it happen
Hope
There is always hope
Me

OhKay 07-30-2016 08:34 AM

I am so happy to read that Eva. Please let her know how proud you are of her for making that decision because that is a BIG positive step. I wish her the very best :hug::hug::hug:

eva5667faliure 08-14-2016 10:09 AM

Still isn't there
 
Wanting to do things her way
Will take time
It will only be when she surrenders
And now with her child starting school
Time is just slipping away
I pray she will get serious
sooner then later
Without incident
Her birthday around the corner
Another year
Praying always she be safe on her journey as Eva is getting older
In Jesus I trust
Watch over her
Me

eva5667faliure 08-15-2016 10:48 AM

helpless not hopeless
 
having to watch and hear so much pain and sorrow
is hard when a mother want to protect her young
powerless to a point
still worry i will get THAT phone call
to come and identify this body
i am crushed
holding of for dear LIFE
i am here for a reason
i will not give up HOPE
i am bound to a point
they know i will never let go
helpless
not
HOPELESS
Me

OhKay 08-16-2016 07:03 AM

I'm so sorry that your daughter hasn't followed through with her program :hug::hug::hug:

"Helpless not hopeless" sounds sad, but still optimistic and strong to me :hug:

Focusing on the little one for now will be good for you, but that doesn't mean you're giving up on her mommy :hug::hug::hug:

Hang in there friend :hug::hug::hug:

eva5667faliure 08-16-2016 07:00 PM

In ICU
 
Got that phone call
Was pick up by the police roaming the streett
Bad batch
In the ICU
her heart impacted
Do not have the latest
My children are informed
I have but Heavenly Father to turn to
Take care of her
In Jesus name
Amen

OhKay 08-17-2016 08:09 AM

I will pray for her, for you, and for the rest of your family that she gets through this, and this time she will take advantage of the help offered to her :hug::hug::hug:

Love,

Kay

Alffe 08-17-2016 12:49 PM

(((Eva))) you remain in my prayers

eva5667faliure 09-08-2016 03:57 PM

She continues to blame
 
Threatens her sister for the way things are
Does not take or see how her sister has zero to do with her addiction
If anything she did the smart thing and called EMS she was so out of it
It was a horrible day
And five years later
Continues to blame her
Tries to guilt her
I have to undo what she is holding on to
She and Eva are so very close
There isn't a day that goes by they aren't in each others arms
Now eighteen has said "I will adopt if my sister doesn't get health together"
This makes me cry
In hiding sad
I really think she has become so complacent
being a part time mom
And still call things as she see fit
Not anymore
Time for me to put my foot down
She has had more than enough time to get it right
Done
So much to do
Me

OhKay 09-09-2016 06:43 AM

I'm sorry you are going through so much :hug::hug::hug:

You are strong, you can get through this Eva :hug::hug::hug:

eva5667faliure 09-09-2016 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OhKay (Post 1223214)
I'm sorry you are going through so much :hug::hug::hug:

You are strong, you can get through this Eva :hug::hug::hug:

I have you guys
And make no mistake
I am very aware of the support
It means so much for someone like myself
I have grown in all of it
Yet there are times I want to let go
With my might
And in Jesus name
All of what i cannot handle I turn it over
The serenity prayer is constantly rolling off my tongue
Heavenly Father hears me and I am listening
Your caring heart
Soothing mine
Back at ya
With much love
Me

Andy_Pablo 09-10-2016 08:24 PM

So sorry to hear this... I really hope things improve...

pooh_ac 09-15-2016 07:38 AM

Hugz
 
Been MIA, for too long. All I can offer is
HUGZ AND LOVE!!

eva5667faliure 09-15-2016 07:48 AM

Happy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by pooh_ac (Post 1223871)
Been MIA, for too long. All I can offer is
HUGZ AND LOVE!!

To hear from you
And your kind words
Received
Thank you
Happy you stopped in
Hope your time away was relaxing
Love
Me

OhKay 09-16-2016 05:52 AM

I'm so glad that you find comfort from God and from your friends here at the forum. Continuing to say the serenity prayer is a good thing... you are under so much pressure... I'm glad it helps too :hug::hug::hug:

eva5667faliure 09-22-2016 07:06 PM

Pray she isn't on another run
 
She is pushing it
Taking off and not
make and do what she must
The help is out there
When
When
Not a death
Not a death

OhKay 09-25-2016 07:46 AM

I'm so sorry that your daughter is still unwilling to take advantage of the help she needs :hug::hug::hug:

The situation would be scary enough without the recent s/s attempt. I can't imagine what you are going through worrying about your baby :hug::hug::hug:

I pray for strength for you and your family. Your family at NT is always here for you :hug::hug::hug:

Love,

Kay

eva5667faliure 09-25-2016 01:37 PM

Selective
 
You just can't
It's either one will
Or the other wont
No can't
And that's the end of that
To quit ones job because of piercings
Not in my books
This ba y did not ask for any of this stuff
And I will not allow it
She has got to be kidding
Oh dear lord
She is on the run
Nothing I can do
Just stay on top of it all
What is wrong with work
She needs to work
As we take care of Eva
Does she not want to have some time before she becomes a young adult
It happens overnight
She took her shower for school already
Trying to be ahead of the game a bit
Oh when
Oh when
This has been enough already
Put up with
now a call yesterday
She is in the hospital
She has blood in urine
And if I could do something
Really
Such as the last time
My hands tied
My mind needs a rest
This is killing me
Me


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