how many of us feel grateful
 

I can't figure it out if it is being bipolar or not. I have been so lucky lately.
Abbie is such a dollface. she is so funny and loving. pudge is so precious. my new housekeeper is a delight. I want to clean up for her before she comes.
I am 72 and that is a first. I am back friends with stella again. alice has been wonderful to me. I am happy for mike and don't seem to miss him. He was suffering so much. My bottom false teeth seem to be all right but I will still keep the appointment incase stepping on the did something. Even looking for something and finding it and then finding an appt card which i needed and found by accident. why can't i be happy or feel grateful. I never thought i would get another abysinian (sp). I wish i had the patience to read.
bobby

It sounds like you have a lot to be grateful about.
happy for you.
bizi

i know so why can't i feel happy or graaaaaaaateful?

Bobby

I think its just how we all think and feel. If you tell your self that because
everything is going good. Your afraid it will jinx it. So feeling those things
isn't something you want to do.

I'm feeling happy or greatful mainly, for no cancer, treatment changing. And
having an job I love and co-workers that care.

I also have caring relatives and friends.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

maybe caring has a lot to do with it. I always had trouble with work, I always have had trouble with my family. I guess I have always had trouble with the basics. it was so glaring from your post. I am so happy for you! God bless you.
Bobby

maybe journaling would help, bobby.
did not oprah have a gratitude journal????
maybe something like that could help you feel.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

i keep on thinking of death

I'm sorry that your thoughts are focused on death, Bobby. You have had a lot of losses over the last year or so, and had the stroke, so I think that it may be a normal reaction. I wish that you were not burdened by those thoughts though :hug::hug::hug:

thank you. it makes sense. i just vacuumed

I just decided i will start praying for everyone. somehow that makes sense. even my mother.... the whole world. it came to me after i bought another kindle. I don't think there is a relationship...
hopefully i will clean the sink soon with ajax. keep it clean until marcie comes on monday.stella is working at lord and taylors on her feet all day for 12 dollars an hour. she lent her brother a chunk of money and she also owns a coop worth about 500 thousand. she just needs income now. I just told her about the stockings kay suggested. she is not used to that much standing
I feel better

i cleaned the sink with ajax and with a fifty year old sink it looks good. I thanked my youngest nephew for telling me that cleaniness is next to Goddliness and housekeepers count

I use an sos pad on my stainless steel sink, gets the grime off.
makes me feel good knowing that it is clean. good for you.
bizi

Praying helps many people feel better. I hope it helps you :hug:

I know you want to help your housekeeper, but please be careful you don't overwork yourself :hug:

i think the more you get off yourself the better you feel. It is harder the older you get because you don't have the physical ability to help others and you get trapped by physical difficulties.
I think I will just do the bathroom sink and floor after i take a bath and call it quits. I was think of doing the mirrors but I will probably make a bigger mess

That seems like quite a bit of activity… do you think you may have an elevated mood, or are you still feeling flat, Bobby?

right now i am not feeling flat. it has given me more energy

The Skeezyks is 68. :eek: I think a lot about death too. I spend a lot of time hoping it arrives as soon as possible. :Sigh: In fact, I've tried taking the do-it-yerself approach a couple of times. :rolleyes:

Professionals in the field of mental health tell us that depression is caused by imbalances in neurochemicals in the brain. :Clever: And also, I think, over time pathways tend to get worn into our brains So, whether we want them to or not, our thoughts tend to keep running down those same old pathways even if the various day-to-day aspects of our lives are going well. There's nothing about my present life circumstances that should cause me to think the way I do. But I still do. :Dunno:

I'm a follower of writings of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. :Bow: And one of the most important things I've learned from Ani Pema is that whatever I am thinking is workable. Whatever it is, I can simply allow it to be there... breathe into it, smile to it... & accept it with lovingkindness & compassion. :)

There's a quote I dearly love which is attributed to the 11th century Buddhist Machig Labdrön... "In other traditions, demons are expelled externally. But in my tradition demons are accepted with compassion." I take this as my mantra. :hug: ;)

THAT is interesting. I have been praying for Hilter. I don't know if that goes against my religion. there is some sort of release. Is there something in common

I love your mantra Skeezykz :)

I think that maybe you need, and are benefitting from, acts of forgiveness and compassion for all people right now, Bobby. It sounds like you are in a better place :hug:

on wednesday at p.t. i was able to lift my right leg lying down with my other leg bent. after the stroke it wouldn't budge although i could would walk without a limp. I am not using the cane again. I have pains in my legs. it might be arthritis. I have to stop eating nightshade vegetables. because of zetia my cholesterol went down fifty point. I am sure the surgeon said cholesterol was part of the gunk that was in the artery that was clogged. My p.c wants the bad cholesterol to go down 50 more points. My sugar went up a little more.
I tried out another housekeeper. she spent practically the entire time in the laundry room. Maybe I will just have one housekeeper and try to do some more work myself. this one scared abby to get off the bed to make it.I got so angry.
I am so depressed and lonely. I am even lonely at the senior center. I have gained all the weight back. all i want to do is eat. and then eat some more.
I am trying to pray for every one but it is not working the way it did when i first started. I did call one of the Rabbi's whose class I am taking and told him I was praying for him. I had his cell phone number and he is in the hospital and again with pneumonia/

Actually, sending good thoughts... compassion, lovingkindness & joy to those we dislike, or who have made life difficult for us, is a basic practice within the Mahayana Buddhist tradition. One starts out by sending good thoughts / wishes to oneself & then to someone one is close to. Then one sends those same good thoughts to, perhaps, friends & acquaintances... people one knows but is not necessarily close to. Next one sends those good thoughts to people one perhaps does not really know... people we pass on the street, for example. Then one moves on to people one might actually dislike or even fear. We then visualize ourselves standing together with all of these people receiving the same good wishes together. The practice ends by sending out the same good thoughts to all sentient beings everywhere. :Bow: I have, on occasion posted one of these on PsychCentral (although it never seemed to attract much interest...) :rolleyes: :icon_lol: Perhaps I'll post one here on NT now-&-again... :grouphug:

I'm so happy to hear about the progress with your leg Bobby! You've been working hard, and some improvement is still possible. I'm sorry to hear about the pain though :hug:

I'm sure that that housekeeper didn't think she was doing anything wrong when she shooed Abby off the bed to make it. Not everyone is as sensitive to our cats' feelings as we are. I make up my bed with the cats in it every morning, but I do have to tell them to get off the bed when I change the sheets though.

I know you like your first housekeeper a lot. Maybe one is enough. But I hate the idea of you doing too much :hug:

I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely. I'm glad that you are going to the senior center, still praying, and are taking the class, even though those things aren't as helpful or as fulfilling as they used to be. I'm sure that your increased eating and lack of enjoyment in those activities is due to depression :hug::hug::hug:

It seems to come in waves for you. I hope that things get better soon, Bobby :hug::hug::hug:

she was awful.she spent most of the time in the laundry room- i am sure it was at least 2 1/2 hours. then she didn't put away practically all the washed clothes but left them on the floor. She really triggered me big time. what did she do downstairs in the laundry room-watch the clothes spin? there are cameras all over the room which she knew so nobody would steal anything.
then she left the clothes bin in another part of the room and stuff in the clothes bin in another part of the room. Yes she tried to scare the cat and did. she was punching the bed and yelling.abby is still a kitten. she really triggered me.
I made a lot of progress with the leg.it seems like it is fixed.
I am going to have to clean today. the apartment does not looked cleaned. I am scared i will lose the other one who i really like.
it is not the stroke leg that hurts sometimes but the other leg. I had an attack of arthritis a few years ago.
I took a bath and cleaned some of the bathroom and cleaned some of the kitchen. I will vacuum late this afternoon. she only touched some of the kitchen and some of the bathroom besides the wash and getting tide across the street.

I believe that but is it especially hard when you are bipolar and have anger issues. I tried to pray for the cleaning woman and finally saw that she had a soft side when she talked about her son and daughter. there was something to connect to. I don't want her back. I will try to focus on her feelings towards towards her children. I hate to be taken advantage of especially when the think you are older and can get a way with it and treat you not nicely or at lease civilly. I did remind her of the two bags of rice I gave her and she thanked me

Maybe that lady was playing with her phone in the laundry room, or exited the building to smoke or something? I'm glad that you found some good in her despite the bad experience… you are a good person Bobby :hug:

Let the housekeeper you like know about your bad experience with the other lady, and explain that that's why your apartment isn't as clean as you would like rather than pushing yourself too hard trying to make up for her laziness.

The arthritis in the leg that wasn't effected by the stroke may be acting up more because it was compensating for the one that was. I hope the pain does improve :hug:

you don't like that she was watching the clothes spin? lol I did some cleaning and i will do some more before she comes and tell her. I just hope she doesn't leave me

:grouphug:Maybe the person you like can help give some pointers on how you can
do some things lightly that will keep helping.

But personally I wouldn't have the other one back again. Just make sure
the one you like knows what happened. I think that is all you need to do.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I don't think she will leave you Bobby, especially if explain what happened :hug:

good idea. we really have fun together. I am really trying hard to keep neater. Yesterday I found the laser toy for the cats and we were playing with the cats. she was having so much fun with abby. I also give her presents. I got a free bag with a purchase and I gave it to her. she liked it. I bought two big cans of popcorn to use for cat food. I was going to through out the popcorn but she said she wanted totake the popcorn home to the children. I have her a beautiful david dart outfit that she already wore to church and people commented on it.

I goofed when i mentioned how long the woman spent in the laundry room. she too spent a lot of time in the laundry room but she cleaned.
I think I am getting more depressed because of the holidays. I will try to go the senior center for their holiday special.. I might see my two nephews. I ticked off one when i mentioned zetia. He has high cholesterol. His brother does too.
The doctor says it usually runs in the family.
I wish i weren't so depressed. I have to physical therapy tomorrow to get a ticket to the christmas dinner. I will miss the p.t.
My social worker is going to take care of the woman. I was totally honest.
I hope I can start reading again. That helped. early this morning i dream i was in a religious serious service and i wasn't supposed to look up. weird

The holidays are hard...I think I am going to start a thread.
bizi

I'm glad you told your social worker about that housekeeper. Not everyone is cut out for jobs like that.

A med change, maybe an increase in the Doxepin could help with the depression, but I understand that you may not feel comfortable seeing your pdoc :hug::hug::hug:

Your nephew will get over the Zetia issue. IMHO it's such a minor issue I think he will let it go easily. I've gotten myself into worse trouble spouting my medical knowledge where I didn't know it would be relevant to someone in earshot and it wasn't well received. If the subject comes up again apologize for upsetting him, say that was never your intention, and move on.

doxepin is used for a sleeping pill. my nephews are way overweight and are on lipitor. I know zetia will help them too. It is their life.
bobby

I am overtired and have only read some posts but will read more later.
Fascinating topic.
I have had issues with depression, largely in the past. I am fortunate in that vitamins, therapy and this attitude of gratitude has helped tremendously.
I also have a ton of medical issues, many that are very painful.
Our adopted daughter has bipolar illness.
We were just talking about this today...or at least she was with another relative.
She has been given a LOT in life, but also has difficulties and this illness (BP) she has is heck
BUT it is obvious to most people who know her that she is rarely grateful.
i can't risk revealing her identity even slightly but she has been blessed with a lovely roof over her head in a nice neighborhoid, some good friends, good medical care etc
I've often thought if she would focus MUCH more on the positives she would be calmer and happier.
I literally will sit down with paper and pencil and write down my blessings if in a foul mood and it helps.
I will push push push to change my mindset
It's different for her and this problem has caused her to lose friends and many opportunities.
Thank you for listening.
I am grateful for this site because I've gotten some insight here.
IMHO this is a great topic!!!

When I am wracked with anxiety and trying to force myself a asleep at night
I lie flat on my back and put my hands on the chakra focused on breathing:
( Sacral Chakra Belly Breath Exercise | Balanced Women's Blog ),
(It works on side sleeping too of course as long as hands are on the
yellow/sun chakra)

I use various mantras.


Lately I breathe in and out slowly saying something like this:

"I am safe, loved, and grateful."

Another one is, "I am powerful, strong, and grateful."

Or this: "I have strength, peace, and gratitude.

Some of them are longer.

What a great idea Mari! I'm going to try it!

Dear Vowel Lady,

I'm so glad that your treatment and positive attitude has helped you overcome your medical and past mental mental health problems…

I'm sorry that your daughter is struggling. I don't know what her behavior is like, or if she is/isn't an ungrateful child, but it's very difficult to remain positive when you have bipolar disorder. I hope that she's getting the care that she needs, and in time feels comfortable enough to talk to you directly about her feelings. Sometimes it's difficult to understand some things a loved one with bipolar disorder may do, especially if they won't talk to you about it :hug::hug::hug:

from a scale of one to ten I am at a one. I should be so greatful. epic got my sixty dollar check for the year for joining and andd it looks like now my highest cost wih be 20 a drug and the lowest 3 dollars. I take zetia and that costs more than 875. I would pay 20.goodrx says a lot less
I have gained over 20 or 25 pounds since the stroke. I am so disgusted with myself.

I'm glad that you're getting the extra help with meds, Bobby.

I'm sorry that the weight you have gained has made you feel so badly about yourself :hug::hug::hug:

Have you ever considered asking your PCP to send you to a nutritionist? He/she could help you come up with a plan that could help you shed some pounds. You might feel better about yourself if you are doing something concrete to address the problem.

thanks. I am a binge eater. I eat when i am depressed. I know what i shouldn't eat but i do it anyways. no more chinese food. no more potatoes.