Memories......
 

AMA just reminded me of how great and warming memories can be. I have some really super memories of experiences of yore.:)

The good memories are not my problem, but sometimes, the bad memories crop up and can ruin my mood/day..:(

We all have a few bad experiences/memories and, of course, I think my embarrassing or bad moments, made time stand still. I'm sure noone I know, remembers them, but me..:rolleyes:

How do you all deal with the bad memories? When one whafts into my mind, I usually shake my head and try to get it out, by thinking of something good, but it doesn't always work.

I'm still punishing myself for things I cannot change....I hate when that happens..:mad:

Hey there, SalPal. I am much the same way with those stupid negative events. They pop into your head without warning and bring a black cloud with them. :mad:

Do you have an uplifting song that you could program your brain to "default" to? Its hard to just quit thinking of something -- but helpful if you have something positive to replace it with.

Best wishes, my friend. :hug:


PS: If nothing else works, there's always chococlate. Won't make anything go away, but I find it very comforting, lol!

How funny, Sal, I just had one of my low jags so I wrote it all down and now I'm much better. I have thin notebooks for this purpose and I just throw them away when they're full. It's a sort of symbolic dismissal to me.

Plus, smacking DM makes a world of difference (or Lambchop if she's handier).

Sally, I'm famous for beating myself up over things that are done and gone. Probably nobody but me remembers them or if they do gives them a second thought. But I do.

The past is the past. Refuse to waste anymore of your present on things of the past that cannot be changed.

I need to take my own advice. :rolleyes: :o

It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this.....keep em coming...Thanks...Whew..:o

I find myself deep into memories and really so far into them sometimes before I have had the option of deciding if it is good or bad. Maybe it's all this time on my hands since retirement. But I was always prone to this.

I count on my memories, both good and bad. And let them take me on their journey. Because even the bad, or sad ones have brought with them some good and precious times.

Sometimes the good memories end sad. And sometimes the sad memories end good. So I just take them for the ride usually.
:hug:

It reminds me of Garth Brooks' song, The Dance.
"...I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance ..."

NOW FOR ALL THE STUPID THINGS I'VE DONE OR SAID... THERE IS JUST NO GOING BACK! JUST KEEP IN MIND EVERYONE SAYS AND DOES THINGS WE WOULD RATHER NOT THINK ABOUT. I HAVE BEEN TOLD, IT'S NOT THE MISTAKES YOU MAKE THAT COUNTS... WE ALL MAKE THEM EVERYDAY. BUT RATHER, IT'S HOW WE HANDLE THEM AFTER THEY HAVE HAPPENED.

Or, you could always plug your ears, shut your eyes, and sing "A hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall..."!!!!:icon_lol::boy(music)::tongue::sing::Grin-Nod:

I'm into good memories. The bad I "Use" the fact I have MS to forget. Remember only the good "adventures". Now, not so much my own.

I think as we get older we tend to reflect on the past more (probably because we have more of it than younger folks!:rolleyes:).

If we concentrate on the good memories.....fun times we've had....I think (and hope) it will push the bad memories farther and farther to the back of our mind.

Whoo! I have some doozies in my background, and I have worked really , really hard to get my life up and on track. Sometimes I will be counting my blessings on what a wonderful life I have, and then....BAM! I remember how cruel someone was to me, or BAM! I remember that I was once cruel to someone else, or BAM! I remember some really hard struggles, or BAM! I remember giving up opportunities that would have gotten me far, just so I could remain stuck a while longer, or BAM! ...you get the idea.

I learned long ago not to fight such things. I have asked for forgiveness for my transgressions, and I am truly repentant about them. I feel horrible for some of the things I have done, or said. I truly am sorry for them. I have asked for, and feel I have been forgiven. Forgiveness, and forgetfulness are two different creatures. I have forgiven those who hurt me. I truly have turned them over to God. He shall be their judge and jury, and its not my place to be that person in their lives. I would have been better off had I never met them, but I cant go back and undo the past, I can only look forward and reshape my future.

I try hard to say a lil prayer for the situation, and simply let it walk through my mind. I dont try to hold it in my head, I dont try to ruminate on it, or rehash how I could have fixed it, or stopped it, or changed it. it is what it is, and there is nothing I can do to change it. I can change how I handle it NOW. I allow it to walk through, and get to the other side, and then I open the door and let it out. I dont want it to stop and talk to me. I just let it dance on by. then I distract myself. I sing a song, or read a book, or do a chore, or pick up the phone, or say a prayer, or talk to a friend, or clean a toilet. before you know it, I am onto something else to think about.

You are not alone sal. you are not alone. We all have those thoughts. :hug:

You are definitely not alone, Sally. I swear I look for things to feel guilty about :(. How useless is that!?

I don't have any good suggestions but here's a :hug: from me to you.

I think that all of those memories (good and bad) make up who we are today. I think that there are times when we all dwell a bit on the negative events, etc. It is only human.

Long before I was dx, I got it in my head that when I'm old and worn out, the only thing I'd have would be my memories. I made it my mission to make as many as I could before it was too late.

I'm locked and loaded now and even the harder memories deliver a lot of meaning and understanding. Like Barb said, mine are part of the recipe for what makes me me. I'll hang on to them for now. :)

It's all well and good and true, that most of the events in our life, make us who we are, but, I'm here to tell you. that some bad memories are just that.....bad memories..:D

Okay, so that's what has your panties in a bunch these last couple days?

Happy birthday (whether you like it or not)!!!

I appreciate you whole response....but I LIKE this statement in particular!!!
Thanks!:hug:

Hey my SallyPally! I know what you mean~ when one of those ''bad'' memories finds it's way back up to me, I tend to think about it a min and sometimes even let a tear or 2 roll down my cheek, but then I try to move on. (albeit, not always real easy)

The good memories are wonderful, b/c when they do make me cry, it's from laughing at the fun/silly things that are worth remembering. Bring on the good times. ((((Salpal))))

What a good thread, and some really thoughtful answers.

Wow, here all these years I thought I was the only dum nut who
did this, always thinking of the bad things that happened in my past.

Then I try to rehash the problem and solve it again. I don't know why
I do this. It is crazy, it's over I keep telling myself, but they still keep coming
back and I keep on trying to solve everything all over again.

Tears come with some thoughts, anger comes with others.

Maybe I need a head dr. Anyone want the job?

I don't know Salpal what the answer is to this problem. Reading some
of the replys of others, I can see how some handle their bad memories, but
it just doesn't work for everyone.

I don't hate anyone, lost that feeling a long long time ago. It just seems
that I want to solve the problems that led to many situations.

Sounds real silly and crazy.


Jappy :hug:

That's it, Jappy. Solving the problem of yore, is the answer. It never gets solved so it keeps coming back..:mad:

*Out Damned Spot*..:D

One thing your'e not Japster, is silly or crazy. I think trying to rehash those negative situations is totally normal. I often wonder "should I have done or said something different"? I'm actually my own worst enemy and am hardest on myself. But, we all know that we can't change the past.

We may actually be ~~ dare I say, halfway normal????

Thanks DM, I needed that..:D

That's just it DM it keeps coming back, and if I manage to push it
out of my mind for this time, it still will eventually pop up again.

I had a few traumatic experiences in my life and it is trying to solve the
problem of , Was it me that caused this , Or was it something else that was
at fault.

I even play this over and over in my mind like it was happening again
and how and what I would say or do to change things. I know things can't
change, it's what has happened and that is that.

BUT, WHY DO I STILL TRY TO SOLVE IT ANOTHER WAY!!!!!


Jappy :confused::confused:

We are our own worse enemy, Joyce. Thats why we have MS..:mad:

Me too Jappy!

Whenever I read a thread like this one it brings up heaps of memories, but why do the bad always seem to outweigh the good? Why do they take over so you can't remember the good bits?

I assure you I do have some happy memories from the past few years, but what went before always seems to lurk....always seems to overshadow.

Maybe one day......

Maybe the memories of the less than happy times makes us appreciate the good times even more. :)

A great thread and some enlightening replies.

From what I read, 'most' of us are worriers. Myself included (and I would even put myself forward for the Biggest worry wart), I dwell on the past and my mistakes and my attitude and my dissapointments in my path to where I am today.

I would say that not one day passes when I don't worry or regret something from my past that I can dredge up with ease from the front of my mind. There's always a bucket load of stuff close to hand and ready for my re-hash and examination.

If stress is a major factor toward the progression of MS, are we all more susceptible due to the very nature of our worrying and ability to continually worry???
whereas my partner, for example, not only does he not worry about the past but its all so unimportant that its gone from his memory. So laid back he's horizontal.

Well, i ki nd of do that. I write a new ending, change how it happened or how I handled it, whatever. Make the story what I wanted it to be. It doesn't change reality, but if something similar ever crops up I know what i'll do (or I can tell myself that).

I think that's why those bad thoughts come around, becuase I'm afraid I'll do the same dumb thing again. And at least if I have a plan the next time, I'm prepared. It may be a bad plan, but it won't be the same mistake.

Better a bad plan then no plan.

:D

And that does change how the old memory affects me. It loses its grip. I can remember without it sending me into a dark place.

I agree. I do worry, and get into the zone of looking back at bad things. but I really believe you can program yourself to do less of that. Thinking either positively or negatively can become a habit.

I got very upset, angry, etc when I first became sick and it was serious work getting my head back together. But I make an effort daily to think *now*, not back then, not tomorrow. I see how the dogs think and try to think like that. That's how you get laid back lol.

If I look back, I try to see what was funny, good, and happy.

This entire world is what you percieve it to be, remember that. It really is a figment of your imagination. Now.... what would you like to imagine?

I am glad you are feeling better about things Sal. I made a lot of poor
choices in my younger years....but I figure it was my journey and made me
what I am today. I try not to dwell on it(sometimes it hard) but when I
look at my 4 great kids...living a great life, I think ya know, I did SOME
things right!:)

I agree, Sox, Brain, Pud, Kitty et al. I love your posts....and "thanks for the memories"...LOL.