I've fed up
 

with some of the people that have been in my life this year. It's time to move on and seek other people who may be better to me. Bobby is the only one out of all the poeple in Hanks where I've been hanging out that has been concerned for me being sick or who wanted to do something for me. I've been holed up in my apartment for 10 days dying to go somewhere. I've left word for Nancy, a Hanks friend, to call me as I am going nuts with nothing to do. She has not called. Elizabeth, the 90 year old Hank's lady, has been treating me like crap for quite some time. I really feel let down by these people. I am very sad that I have so little freinds and no family that is woth fooling with.

Barbara

Dear Barbara,

I really understand you... I Feel your pain... I feel exactly the same way...

Girls who I thought were my friends, now just treat me like crap, with nasty comments and pathetic attitudes towards me... :( :mad:

I feel abandoned and deilutioned.... :( But oh well....

God blessed you with Bobby ! :) :hug:

You are in my thoughts....... (and would like to say prayers, but nowadays Im really, really struggling praying... and talking to God...)

:hug: Blue :hug:

We can pray to God to send us some true friends. I prayed to God to send me a good man and he did.

Barbara

That's so wonderful Barbara...

I still dream that one day, I will find my true love... that special person that will be next to me forever.... :rolleyes: Somedays is just, difficult to keep the faith... :(

Take care my dear ! :hug:

Hi Blue,

Bobby and I are just super close friends. I guess if you could call it anything it might be called an emotional relationship with the physical intimacy.

I scribble this down a few minutes ago but it's not finished.

Too much time and all I've is think,
And boy have my thoughts started to stink.
How can I tell you I'm so hurt,
And that my expectations of you had fallen short.

How can I tell about women politics,
And because of them I've never won but always been licked.
How can I tell you how I've been caught,
In someone else's jealouse rage and distraught.

You know I feel so helopless,
And I don't feel for you any less.

-----------------------------------

I got stuck there. I don't plan on showing what I wrote to anyone.

barbara

WOW ! Barbara !!! you have talent for that !!!

Im the worst writing poems... :o

That's beautiful.

Thank you all. I meant to say Bobby and I have an emotionaly relationship without the physical part instead of with the physical part. Just a typo mistake.

I hope to go out today.

barbara

Hoping you make it out today.

Sending some hugs. I totally understand it all.

I don't really have any friends to talk too. And even when I try to calm
down my like daughter in law it seems to just make her more upset.

(She was getting a set of prank calls. IS pretty sure she knows who.)
So I told her how to handle it. Just to give back a nice.

Thanks so much for the thought, or something. And have a nice day
and hang up.

I'm not sure how this person got her cell number anyway.

Donna

Don't feel alone Donna. From my experience most woman with husband and kids usually don't have much outside friends. Whereas I have no family around I have more friends or acquantices than those who do have family.

I went to the local bar today and ran into someone Bobby knows. The guy said that Bobby can not figure out why I'm mad at him and that Bobby loves me. I asked him how he knew that and the guy said that guys talk. He asked me if I would be willing to move to the mountains where Bobby lives and I said yes. I have been upset with Bobby and it's not his fault. I've been taking out on him because his 90 year old friend has been mean to me.

Barb

Sounding like you had a really good conversation. And I believe the
guy that Bobby doesn't know why your mad. It makes sense.

Its probably what you thought in the beginning and then got to thinking
otherwise. That he just didn't want to get sick.

I can totally understand that right now. I want to get well and stay
that way.

Donna

Thank you Donna,

Yes, I can not wait to talk to Bobby and have things all better now. I sent Bobby a nasty letter when I was all messed up and now I'm sorry that I did. He should not get the letter until tomorrow.

barbara

barb

Then call Bobby and let him know that you were all messed up. Not thinking
straight thats what not feeling good, being cooped up does you know.

And you wrote a letter, with lots of things you don't mean in it. You hope when he gets it he will either tear it up. Or if he has to read it realize you
are sorry now.

That is what I would do is just own up to it before he gets it.

Not that I have always done that.

donna

Thank you Donna. I called Bobby back a 2nd time but could not get him yet. I left word that I had sent him a letter while I was all messed up and was sorry for it.

barbara

hey there
 

Dear Barbara,

I'm glad you left a message about the letter. I hope things work out ok with Bobby.

~ waves ~

Thank you.

I called Bobby this morning and told him I was messed up when I wrote the letter and to just throw it away. I told Bobby I was sorry I was mean to him Tuesday by phone. He said he didn't think I was mean to him.

I am beginning to see one of my problems I have in my relationship with Bobby. I am carrying over how my ex husband reacted to me when I was myself and not what my ex wanted me to be. My ex would get mad at me for everything so I've been trained to think that any man I care a lot for will do the same. I could not even be myself without my ex yelling and screaming if I didn't act totally the way he expected me to. Bobby is not like that and always says that he didn't think I was mean or anything when I apologize to Bobby.

barbara

Dear Barbara,

Now you can stop apologizing and just be yourself.
You don't have to worry about his reactions.

You are working with a whole new set of rules -- maybe it is freeing. Probably it sure feels like a different world now.

I'm glad that Bobby sounds like a gentle person.

M.

Thank you Mari.

I believe that Bobby ended up reading the nasty letter I sent to him anyway by a few of the things he said tonight. He's wasn't mean to me though. He sounded disappointed that I had gone to the local bar yesterday. One of the things I said in the letter I sent to him was that I was going out to meet some male friends cause he has female freinds in Hanks the restuarant. I told Bobby that I know just about everyone that goes into the bar and that they're just regulars to me like in Hanks. Before me mentioning me going into the bar I told him how a girlfriend called me up and asked me to meet them out to eat. He said what's wrong with Hanks? I told him I was not going into Hanks anymore or maybe after some time has passed I would. I didn't tell him how his close freind the 90 year old lady has been treating me. I may have to discuss it with him to a degree one day though. Before we hung up I told him, "luv ya, bye."

barbara

I'm hurt
 

One of the ladies that goes into Hanks and who is very, very, close to the 90 year old lady I think told her Jehovah Witness friend my business. The 2 Jehovah Witnesses came by to see me and one of them asked me if it was true I was asked to stay out of Hanks. The only way she could have known that is if the woman in Hanks told her. Then the guy Jehovah Witness read a scripture out of the Bible about sins of the flesh and fonification. It just seem too coincidential he would do that unless they people in Hanks said something. As you all know who have followed me and Bobby we have not slept together. I am hurt and shocked.

Barb

I'm sorry your having such a hard time.

Its so bad that people do that. Jehovah's witness just honestly don't know
how to mind their own business.

Donna

Just take their booklets and say you'll read them later.. you don't have to discus anything with them..
say you have something in the oven or someone on the phone....
or in the middle of a project and can't chat now.

say thank you have a nice day goodbye.
and close the door.

every so often they show up at our door too.

Thanks Donna and Jo.

Jo, I will do that the next time the Jehovah witnesses come by.

I just got off the phone with Bobby. I told him about the Jehovah witnesses coming to my place and how they acted. I told him how one such person in Hanks had been mean to me without mentioning any names. At 1st Bobby seemed like he didn't know what to say. I told him I didn't mind him going to Hanks and was not trying to keep him from anyone in there. But then he said he really didn't care about the going ons with the people in Hanks because they are just acquaintences. He said they really don't know a lot about him. We talked for about 40 minutes tonight. I told him he was my special friend. I told him again tonight before we hung up, "Luv ya," and waited for his response and he just said okay or something. That is fine with me. I feel so much more better now after talking to Bobby.

Barbara