I feel like I'm going to be ruined.
 

I got a message from my brother in law,and he,out of the blue want's $12,350. He never asked me to pay rent,and now suddenly he is. I don't have that much in the bank. Then he want's me to pay $650 a month. I get $608 from SSD,and $50 in food stamps. He thinks I'll get help from medicaid,in going below $2,000. I have a cat to feed. I need gas for the car. I need my dentist because of dental problems,stamps,medicine,and/or copays,property tax on my car,and my telephone/computer bill etc.,etc.,etc. Medicaid dosen't pay for these things,and I'm disabled,and can not work for more money.

I had a panic attack. I feel worse then ever. I've thought about suicide. I felt a burning around my head,and pressure on my heart. I screamed.

I called Emergency Services,and she said you will have your cat,and other things,and she said she will call my case worker.

Going through a bad night like this hurts me deeply. I don't know how many of these I can take. Why is my family doing this to me? Why did he shock me with a $12.350 bill? Why is he asking me for more then I have?

I feel so bad. BF:hug::(

Oh BF, I can only imagine what you're going through. :hug:

Please remember that suicide is not the answer!

Your BIL cannot get blood out of a stone. You don't have the money, and that's that! Please remember that even IF you had to declare bankruptcy, they still leave you enough money for you to survive on.

Your case worker will get back to just as soon as they can, and I just know that they will be able to help you see this from a different point of view.

Keep talking to us because even if we don't know the answers, we still want to be behind you, supporting you in your anguish.

Thank you Koala77
 

I'm shocked. I hope that things will change. I'm hurting so much right now. I'm trying to get through the night. My mind is shipwrecked. My heart is in anguish. I thought that I might make it through this. Then they sent this to me when I was already hurting,and asking for prayer. BF:hug::hug:

Dear Friend
 

This is so awful. I can understand your reaction.

But please, don't go anywhere. you know what i mean. you are a precious person. I don't know how, but I believe this will get worked out, and that you will be OK.

that was good that you had the presence of mind to call Emergency Services. That was a positive step you took, and it sounds like they will be able to help. I hope you hear from your case worker soon. Meanwhile keep this up... doing what you can to help yourself, reaching out.

i hope you do not mind me saying, i am angry with your brother right now. I cannot help feeling like this is an opportunistic act on his part (or your family's) because of your SSI approval. Of course i do not know and i am not proud of these feelings; i do not even know your family. But the coincidence really makes me wonder, and the wondering really stinks.

I do not know what will come of the whole rent/housing thing as far as the future. I think that your case worker will provide you with some alternatives though.

As for the past/lump sum, what occurs to me is that, if there was nothing in writing and you have been living on your brother's property, i do not see what legal recourse he has of asking for any "back-rent" at all. Of course i am not a lawyer but it seems highly improbable to me, to say the least. I also wonder if, given your disability you might have grounds to stay right where you are under the same rental conditions (i.e. zero) at this point.

there are many possibilities not all of them dire.

Indeed as Koala says you cannot be asked to give what you do not have.

Please keep us updated on how the situation and how you are faring.

I will keep you in my thoughts and in my heart.

((( hugs )))

:heartthrob::circlelove::heartthrob:

~ waves ~

Honey i have something for you to listen to... i know it doesn't change things but this song was always soothing for me. i hope it is for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hdx9JjzDfo

and i will pray for you if you do not think it is weird of me. because i think you know my beliefs are shaky but i do pray sometimes especially for others whose beliefs are less shaky. (if you prefer i just send you "positive thoughts" you can tell me, i will respect your wishes. :o)

now listen to the song...

more ((( hugs )))

~ waves ~

What you feel comfortable with. Thank's for caring. I'm going to listen to the song. BF:hug::hug:

hey there BF
 

just checking in to see if you had posted again / are ok... i think i just missed you because it looked like you were on but now you're gone.

i hope you are feeling somewhat better.

i have prayed for you and will continue to - i am ok with it. i asked for many interventions on your behalf but above all for you to be graced with feeling more peace in your heart, and to be granted the strength to face these challenges. you may think it odd but it came spontaneously: i prayed for your family as a whole as well, for healing for all of you... it seemed natural... perhaps because what is happening seems so unnatural in a family, and so sad.

i will also send you positive thoughts and energy through whatever "channels" i can throughout the day... i do believe in a connectedness. ;)

i will be around another hourish and will be popping in again in case you want to talk. i am posting this so you know you are not alone. later i will be going out but by then ppl on your side of the pond will be waking up, so hopefully you will have more replies.

i hope you can manage to get to sleep at some point. that will help you.

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~ from across the ocean

Thank you waves
 

It's 8 AM,and I haven't been able to sleep. I've had all of these thoughts going through my head,and I'm heavily burdened. BF:hug::hug:

So glad I found this thread now! Oh Broeknfriend, you need to get HUD housing assistance and get your OWN place, get AWAY from these disfunctional family members who think it's funny to put you THROUGH something like this. I definitely would NOT give them a dime, you have no lease, and if you've not been paying so called rent, then he has NO RIGHT to break your verbal agreement NOW out of the blue. It sounds to me like he's in debt and wants an easy out and thinks YOU should bear the burden of his bad money managment. I am with waves, I am angry with your BIL right now too. :mad:

My first thought is to seek a lawyer, but it would be better to get HUD involved and get on their waiting list for Section 8 housing they can pay a LOT of your rent, and from that with your ssi you might be able to swing a place of your own. I am so sorry you have such insensitive cold unfeeling people in your life like this, last I recall they were trying to sell your house right? If it's your house then there's NO reason for them to demand you pay 'rent' at all. Please don't give in to th ose bad feelings, your BIL should be ashamed of himself for daring to throw you into this tailspin, how CRUEL of him...

BF
 

CALL LEGAL AID!! It's free.

Dear Friend,
I hope that Emergency Services comes through for you very soon.
I remember that you have equipment and stuff that you care about in the house too.

Call legal aid. You might have rights that you don't know about.
And they can buy you some time I hope.
Mari

It is going to work out for you. I know it is. I wish you could stop worrying.
I understand about some dysfunctional people...they have their own pain and at times just want to inflict on others. If you can believe it I started feeling compassion for my parents in dealing with a bipolar daughter. My mother had told me let the state take care of me when she had it in her means to provide for me. You have to get out of their way and place yourself in a situation where you don't need anything from them. They can inflict just too much pain and anxiety. Emergency service will find you a home you can afford along with your kitty cat. YOU WILL BE OKAY
Bobby

I'm on a housing waiting list. I thank you all for the replys. I still can't sleep. BF:hug::hug::hug:

good to hear from you
 

that is great. you are doing what you need to do. it is really hard under such pressures even to act sometimes. GREAT JOB. :)

We are all rooting for you!!!

:grouphug:

as far as can't sleep ... i just sent you a pm.

~ waves ~

I'm sorry to hear your family is once again putting you in a difficult situation.

I'd have to do some checking but since you have no written lease it would make it extremely difficult for your BIL to collect money. I am guessing you have some sort of verbal agreement....Just know in many areas that a verbal agreement is just as binding as a written agreement.

If he took you to court it would be his word against yours as to any rent or non-rent agreement. The fact that he has allowed you to live there as long as you have without rent and now coming up with some kind of back rent owed most likely would never pass with a judge.

I agree with the others... you need to contact Legal Aid.
Check your PM's.. I am sending you a link with an 800 phone number.

:hug:
Abbie

Dear Steve,
I am so sorry that your family continues to give you so much grief.
It is unethical of them to do this to you.
This is causing you to suffer....maybe you could call legal aid today and get some support/answers and then take a nap if you can do that.
I am sorry that this is happening to you....your family is being cruel to you and they know your challenges. It is down right abusive, maybe adult protective services should be involved...I don't know.
bizi

Some things.

First Adult protective services might be able to help you get to the
top of the waiting list. I believe this might constitute that for one thing.

Next I definately would call legal aid. See if there is anything they
can do to help.

Remember if this is something that would be considered to put you
homeless. You would move to the top of any waiting list.

So you might need to really look into these things too.

Donna

Hugs and thoughts coming.:grouphug:

((((Brokenfriend))) ... all I can say about what I'm readying here is WOW.

Overwhelming support coming your way!

Get some sleep my friend...
:hug: Addy

Wow!
 

Dear BF,

I'm so sorry for your troubles. The folks here have given you so much excellent advice (legal aid, adult protective services, etc...) and I'm glad you're acting on it.

I don't think you're BIL has a legal leg to stand on and that things will work out on your favour. However, I hate to see you being put through so much unnecessary grief and stress. The thought of you awake all night with worry makes me sad - and angry.

I'm with the others who think your BIL should be captain of the Olympic evil clod team. I'd love to give him a sizeable chunk of what's left of my mind. Frankly, there's a special area of the "warm place" reserved for people like him.

Hang in there - things are going to work out. :hug:

I am so sorry BF-sometimes life is just so hard...

Steve, don't give away your power. Believe in yourself. And remember that He knows every hair on your head. :grouphug:

Brokenfriend, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Members here have given you top-notch advice. Please try to get some sleep. Prayer-warriors are working, and you should rest,
reyn

Aw.... Dear BF !!!!!!! (BF = Best friend :) )

Hang in there... Keep strong... Remember God is with you...

I dont know how people can do things like these.... :( and I understand your pain, your panic... but, please, try to hang in...

We love you.

I wish I could help you more... :( But Im thinking about you. :hug:

Friend

Still thinking of you

Donna:grouphug:

I thank you all
 

Please hug me in your thoughts. BF:grouphug:

((( Friend )))
 

http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif

Feel us all hugging you, in your thoughts!

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:


~ waves ~

http://dl9.glitter-graphics.net/pub/...nk6t729yp5.gif

I'm so overwhelmed by your BILs actions.... what a horrible thing to do... God is in control and will watch out for you. Find a scripture and hold tight to it. That is what I do when things start going wrong. :hug:

:circlelove: BF is in the middle



This is you sleeping... wrapped up in warm fuzzy BELIEF in YOURSELF :Zzzz:

:hug:

((((((BF)))))))

I have never "spoken" to you , But I want to add my prayers for a satisfactory outcome to this situation.

You certainly have had your share of family issues, to bad you can't pick your family. we could all be your supportive sisters and brothers!!!!!

Hang in there!
:hug:
Dottie

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I have you in my prayers and positive thoughts.
Stay strong and keep holding on Steve.

Steve, I wonder sometimes if your sister and her husband are reading these forums? And sometimes I hope they are because they will see how many people care about you. It's so hard to understand how the people who are supposed to love and support us can often pull the rug out from underneath us for whatever reason.

I hope one day soon you can put this all behind you and have a new beginning, in a new environment. :hug:

HI (((BF))) checking in to give you a hug!
I hope you've been able to sleep a bit better.

:hug:
Addy

I've been worried,and scared all day. I'm even worring about my dental problems,because social security doesn't seem to cover dentistry. My medicine is drying out my mouth,and I'm having gumline cavities. The list goes on about what I'm worrying about now. I feel frozen with fear about all of these things. BF:hug::grouphug::confused:

Thank goodness for this lifeline in this forum. BF:hug::hug::grouphug::hug:

Oh Dear
 

(((( Friend ))))

I wish i could do more for you. I can't afford the dentist right now either. :(

I will see if i can find something about diet/food/nutrients that can counteract med-induced anticholinergic effects (that is what gives dry mouth).

i do know that fish like tuna and mackerel are good sources of choline, but what i do not know is if giving the body more stuff to make acetylcholine will neutralize what the drugs are doing... i kinda don't think so... i will poke around in research articles and see if i can find something that does.

:Sigh:

sometimes i think between the meds they give us and our illness it is like being stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea. :(:(:(

:hug::hug::hug:

hang in there sweetie. see if you can't maybe find something that you like to distract your mind with. it is hard not to worry, but if you can manage to distract yourself even for little stints at a time it will help.

i too hope you have been able to sleep better.

:circlelove:

~ waves ~

Thank you Waves
 

I feel asleep,and had a stange dream,and woke up. I feel scared again. I read some bible verses,and came to the computer. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Friend/Steve
 

I am sorry you are still scared. I understand. This is scary. :hug:

I hope the bible verses helped. If not right away, I think it will. I am glad you did that. And I'm glad you came here to post.

Hang in there, keep reading, and hang onto us.
:grouphug: We are here for you.

~ waves ~

Thank you dear waves. I am scared. I'm feeling like I can't handle this. I'm going to call my therapist tomorrow. My case manager quit her job last week suddenly.

My family is putting guilt on me,and not support. This is what I can't handle either. Things are becoming overwhelming to me.

Thank you for understanding. BF:hug::hug::hug:

ack!
 

Dear Steve,

your case worker quit? ack! what timing! :(:(:( still, you will be assigned another case worker.
Yes, ABSOLUTELY call your therapist tomorrow.

it is insidious how others can talk us into feeling guilty. when it comes from family especially, it is easy to fall prey to what they are saying. but i also hear you saying that they are doing it, which means you see it. so a part of you knows it is about them and not you. keep sight of that.

even from just the forum, i know you are a good person, as i'm sure everyone here does. you are always kind in your posts. i hate that you are being hurt so injustly. just remember that we all care and we are on your side.

i hope your therapist can help some. also put a call in to see if you can get another case worker assigned immediately - tell whomever is in charge that you are in the middle of a financial and health crisis and need immediate assistance.

:grouphug: :circlelove: :grouphug:

~ waves ~

This is advice from David on another thread:
Thoughts of Sicide and Death are exactly that THOUGHTS. They only mean something when the thoughts are put into action, until that they remain thoughts.

for more years than i care to remember i too have had these disgusting thoughts, and once or twice put action to thought, [completely unsuccessful thank god]

When the actions start to rise to the surface, you must seek imideate HELP. A+E [ER in the US] DONTsit there and allow the action of your thoughts take over, get up move, call 911 or get to a hospital as soon as possible.

When thoughts become actions, true sense of raltional behaviour goes out the window. So dont delay get help. Get a place of safety where Rationale can return and grief can express itself in a more clinical and sterile way. CRY CRY AND CRY MORE.....IT is a natural healing mechanism, it is your inner overflow pipe................................

Whenthe initial panic of suicidal thoughts subside.......concentrate on YOU............[NOT THE THOUGHTS YOU HAVE, NOT EVEN HOW YOU FEEL]
Concentrate on your person...........wash like you never bathed before....clean your nails, youyr hair, your teeth, ...............concentrate on each part of your body...................then dress in your finest clothes.....ironed to prestine condition with cleaned shoes..........and any accessories that your heart desires.................

then walk to a place you have never been before.........and submerge yourself in the surroundings..............have a coffe, a nice cake, a sandwich .............drink plenty of water [for the next few days not alcohol]////////////


BY FOCCUSING ON YOURSELF...YOUR APPEARANCE...YOUR SURROUNDINGS....AND NOT YOUR CRIPPLING ANXIETIES..........YOU CAN FIND BREATHING SPACE TO CARRY ON.



never think these thoughts will disapear without intervention...be it medication , or talk therapy, .....as they may just linger.................but will not truly disapear..........

you have to work at these feelings..............but rember they are THOUGHTS...NOT ACTIONS unless you ACT on them..................they CAN BE CONTAINED....

YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS YOU JUST HAVE TO

WANT TO.

I'M LIVING PROOF

DAVID
__________________
Take care of YOU