Family asking for a huge fee
 

My brother in law wrote me a e-mail. I wrote about it in the SOS forum.

I don't know what I'm going to do. He's asking me for $12.350 dollars. I don't have that much.

I'm shocked,and I'm trying to make it through the night. BF.:(:hug:

I've answered you over in SOS, BF.

dear Friend
 

((((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))))

i'm going to SOS right now to read your post and see what this is all about.
that is an awful lot of money.
well, it is to me, and clearly to you as well. :(

try to hold on. :hug:

~ waves ~

What's going on Brokenfriend?? HOW can they just demand money from you like that?? I can't find SOS anyone got a link? I am so sorry this is happening, why do they think they can just email you and demand 12 Grand like that?? DOn't they know you don't have it?? How are you holding up? We're here for you Brokenfriend....:(

Dear Friend,
I am sending you prayers and good thoughts.
Try to breathe and be patient while you are waiting for Emergency Services to help you.
Mari

Hi Pamster. It was,and is a shock. I still can't get him on the phone. I can't afford that money. This is unreal. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Here is the link to BF's thread on the SOS( Survivor of Suicide) Forum: http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?p=575395#post575395

Thanks for the link Abbie! :D I am so sorry Brokenfriend. They most likely CANNOT do this to you legally, so try not to worry. You just make sure you don't SIGN ANYTHING For this BIL, NOTHING okay? He'll try to make you pay 19 months of rent and without a lease he hasn't a leg to stand on legally. Hang in there....

Yeah ... AND, for that matter
 

do not agree to anything via email either.

pretty sure emails are legally acceptable / binding nowadays. even an acknowledgment on your part could render the situation more difficult.

i think the best thing might be not to reply at all, until you get some advice from legal aid on how to proceed.

keep breathing... one step at a time. you will make it.

right now, i hope you are managing to get some sleep and that you will feel somewhat better upon waking.

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Can you talk with your sister?
maybe he is doing this without her knowledge?

in the court cases on tv - if some is letting you live somewhere rent free for a long time and no rent was ever asked for before , they can't come back and try to collect anything.

If anything they could ask for you to start paying some rent now and for the future...

try not to stress about it , maybe he is just messing with you..:(:mad:

{does he have gambling or other issues that might have caused money problems for them?}

He's a doctor,and a gentleman. They are having business problems. He sent me a email saying he's going to read,and digest my concerns. He has never mentioned rent before. I don't understand. What he's asking for is way to much,and would close my bank account. I'm still awake,and have lost my appetite. I'm sure it will return soon. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Sounds to me like he wants you to pay their business problems.

I would just not give any committment or talk in email or person.

Just as the others say. It can be legally binding I believe.

Donna

Dear Friend,
I hope you are a little better now.
Can you talk to a lawyer soon?
Don't agree to give the brother-in-law anything.
See what the lawyer says.

Maybe you will get emergency housing.

I think that we react when we get big news.
But remember you don't have to react to him at all.

Take your time and get some help.
I'm hoping for you.

M.

I just got a email from him,and he let me have it with both barrels. I'm cold,and shaking. There's nothing that I can do now. BF:hug::hug:

Dear Friend,
I'm really sorry that this is happening.

Block his emails if it will help you.
He's being irrational and a bully.
You do have personal power here.
Try to keep yourself grounded.

Did you hear anything from any of the professionals you are dealing with? Please call legal aid so that you know more about what ground you stand on.

Basically, he can be upset all he wants to.
It's about him, even though he is making about you.
I'm sending you good thoughts and prayers.
I hope that you can calm down for tonight.
Sleep when you can.


Mari

oh no!!!
 

that is horrible. :mad::(:eek: i agree with Mari... if he is being abusive by email, block him.

Feeling helpless is awful. I understand, i've felt it. That happens when people try to pull power plays and we don't have a lot of immediate options.

But, in reality, you are not helpless. You cannot help what he does but you can help what you do. AND you will be getting external help with this.

You have been helping yourself, by reaching out. That is excellent, and you need to keep doing that. You have been making the calls to the right people. I would report the abusive email to adult protective services, ASAP. And talk about that with Legal Aid as well. It certainly will not help him.

So much for his being a doctor and a gentleman! :mad: Doesn't sound like the latter to me, and doctors have the Hippocratic oath... with the general tenet "DO NO HARM" ... what happened to that? He is harming you, and i doubt he is clueless about it either.

I am so sorry you are going through these horrible trials. Keep reminding yourself you are a good person and that you do not deserve this.

Things can get better. The initial response you got from emergency services sounded very hopeful. Don't let go of hope.

i hope you can find a way to sleep... or find some refuge from these thoughts at least.

sending you hugs and peaceful thoughts.

:grouphug:

we are all here for you whenever you want to vent.

~ waves ~

I thank you all
 

Please keep me in your thoughts,and hugs. BF:grouphug::hug::hug::hug:

My Satelite TV is going off the air. BF

you will be safe. you are in the system now and it will protect you. i don't understand the desperation of your brother in law and his cruelty. just keep on telling yourself that you are safe.
bobby

Brokenfriend

I still say get ahold of the housing department. I think this should
move you to the top of the list.

Also adult protective services, this is emotional abuse.

Donna

What did he say?

Did he tell you to move out?
Or to pay or move out?

Even though you are there rent free he/they can not kick you out without reasonable notice.

[Landlords can't just lock you out, even if you are behind on rent. They must get a court judgment first.

Your landlord can't evict you without terminating the tenancy first. This usually means giving you adequate written notice, in a specified way and form. If you don't move after proper notice (or reform your ways -- for example, by paying the rent or finding a new home for the dog), the landlord can file a lawsuit to evict you. (This type of lawsuit is sometimes called an unlawful detainer, or UD lawsuit.) In order to win, the landlord must prove that you did something wrong that justifies ending the tenancy.

State laws have very detailed requirements for landlords who want to end a tenancy. Each state has its own procedures as to how termination notices and eviction papers must be written and delivered to you ("served"). Landlords must follow state rules and procedures exactly.]

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encycloped...cle-29824.html

more info here
Renters' & Tenants' Rights
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encycloped...hts/index.html

Do you have any communication with your sister?
I am wondering what her side of this is.

Dear Friend,
Jo*mar has good information.

I know someone who rents to people.
It is a big hassle to evict someone and costs him money and time. He has to follow procedures from the sherif's office.

You have time for now.

Work with the authorities who can find you housing.
You very likely owe the Sister and her Husband not even one penny.

You can move and get a place of your own.

M.

Dear Friend,
What happened?
Did they cut your TV?
How do you access the Internet?

M.

I was wondering if that meant he connects to the internet with it too??:confused:

Or if it was only his, or the whole area was down- like for bad weather??

maybe somebody knows??

Hi, Jo*mar,

He lives in a rural area.
The weather from the internet looks clear today in his state -- not sure how it was last night.



Dear Friend,

I remember your housing thread from last year:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...ht=called+blue

Have they been hassling you all this time?
Or do they lighten up once in a while?

M.

He had a "thank you" around 8am this morning on the other thread. Maybe he'll come back and update.

((((BF))))

I hope that you are able to get some help this time around, no one should have to suffer this kind of abuse, I would get with legal aide again and get with housing or social services and see if they can bump you to the top of the list, read them the last email and don't reply to it...I hope you still have net access BF. :(

Take care of yourself, because no one else can, please be careful with them now. They do NOT Have YOUR best interests at heart. :hug: :grouphug:

I thank all of you for caring. I had my satilite TV back by noon. I paid my brother in law what he wanted. I'm starting to calm down. I saw my counciler today.

I thank you all for helping me to get through this. My internet comes through the phone line. I didn't even ask them what happened to my satilite servise. BF:hug::grouphug::hug:

Glad to read you are better dear BF. :hug:

Dear Friend,
It's good to see you.
I'm glad that you are calm now.
Mari

I typed out a long reply to you earlier today and then our internet and phone went out for about six hours before I submitted it. :Bang-Head: Anyway, I'm glad you're getting this resolved. What a tense situation.

You sound calmer BF and I'm pleased about that. :hug:

You say you've paid your BIL what he wanted, but to prevent something like this happening again, have you got anything documented to prevent a similar event occurring again?

Do you now have a lease and if so, have you worked out regular payments that you can afford, or have you received a promise that you can live there rent free? If either of these conditions have been clarified, please try and get it in writing from your family. Having it in black & white will help to ensure your future security .... as far as your living arrangements go.

Keep in contact with your case manager, and make sure they know the current situation. At least if they know what you've been through, and what your present situation is, they can help should any problems arise in the future.

hey there Friend
 

i too am glad you are feeling better. :)

however i feel that you were essentially emotionally blackmailed / harassed into paying.

i am 100% with what Koala says.

and i would still report all this/consult with the agencies that were talked about in the threads... adult protective services... legal aid.

you may still want to look into housing that gets you out from under your BIL's influence.

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Protect yourself
 

Dear BF,

I am so glad that you're feeling calmer.

Still, I think you should heed the excellent warnings of the other posters and make sure that your position is spelled out clearly so there are no future "surprises." The one thing about blackmailers, like your BIL, is that they can seldom resist coming back for more.

Of course, in a year or so you'll have something on your BIL because the other thing about blackmailers is that they tend not to report their windfalls to the IRS. GET SOME DOCUMENTATION OF THE PAYMENT YOU JUST MADE.

My sincere hope for you is that your case worker can help you transition to independent living. I suspect you would find a marked improvement in your overall health if you no longer had the stress of being under the thumb of this mean, selfish, unpredictable idiot.

You deserve so much better.:hug:

BF


Not sure what all you paid but I too hope you got it in writing.

I also hope that you are sleeping now. I know its been a few days
since you could sleep.

Donna

BF, glad your feeling better. :hug: But please get out of there as soon as possible. Did you pay him all the backpay he asked for or just the monthly fee he wanted? Either way, you feel better and that's what counts. Please call your local office and see if you can get on the priority list. He has a right to ask for rent but to demand it out of nowhere (the backpay) is unreasonable and you can get a place much cheaper. :hug:

As the others mentioned -

save those emails - just in case...

make up a receipt for what you paid {in writing and both parties sign it}

if you are going to stay there - make up a written agreement with them- so this doesn't happen again.

A written agreement will be good for both of you

Hi SandyC. He brought his price down to just below 10 grand. I paid it,and I'm going to be charged $650 a month until I have no money. I still get $608 a month from SSD. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Hi ewizabeth I'm so sorry that happened. It's happened to me. I've spent hours a couple of times,and sent the message,and the messages got lost. I know how aggrivating that is. Thank you for trying. BF:hug::hug::hug:

I still feel a little stunned,freightened,and lonely. The weekend is coming,and I'm worried about it. I feel especially lonely when the weekend comes. My emotions are going up,and down. I feel this impending fear,and fright. I wish that I was in a group home now,because I would have some stability,and company. I just don't understand why this,and all of these other things are happening. BF:hug::hug::hug: