My Smokey
 

Hi everyone,
I didn't know about this thread until Koala 77 told me about it. We lost our beloved Smokey yesterday morning. I can't remember a time when he wasn't around. On a rainy day like today---he would be in the house. He didnt like storms at all. He was a big baby when it came to them, if he was outside--he would come to the door & say "let me in"!! He was the best friend that a person could ever ask for or want. I cant tell you how deeply sad we are around here today. He was a rescue from Virgina Beach years ago---but he always felt like he was "our" from when he got here. We just feel so out of our normal routine that I dont know what to do. What do you do when you loose your "best friend"? :( This isnt the first baby that we have lost---it just hurts so bad. Even the rest of the crew doesnt know what to do. Grumpy lost his brother a little over a month ago--so him & Smokey would "hang" out together. Grumpy is young & Smokey was old but I think that Smokey enjoyed having a younger one around---it made him feel young again. I really just dont know what to do---I keep looking for him to open the door for him to come in. Its just really hard today---yesterday was unbearable. Having to bury him---but we put him in one of his favorite spots---it just doesnt seem right that hes not here. I would really appreciate anyone that can give me some kind of guidance to what to do, because I just feel lost. Thank you.
Janet

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Smokey. :hug:

I had a Smokey too. He was a big Newfoundland. I had him for almost 17 years. We grew up together. I got him when I was 21 and he was 1, and he died when I was 37 and he was 17.

There's days I still think I see him in his corner, or I hear him ringing the hanging bell on the doorknob to signal OUT! It took a long time to stop grieving, and sometimes I still get sad, but I think he's letting me know he's still with me each time I catch him out of the corner of my eye or hear that bell.

It's ok to feel lost and to grieve. It just happened and you cannot expect it to pass so soon. Only time makes it better. Enjoy the memories that you have, and when you heal, maybe there will be room for another in your heart and your home.

I am sorry you lost your beloved pet and friend. :hug:

The grief does hurt. I don't know of a way to ease this for you.
I think the extent of grief is a marker for how much love was there. So feeling the grief reflects your capacity to love, IMO.

I just cry alot when we lose a pet.

So sorry to hear of your friend's passing...it is amazing how much our pets' passing hurts...
but they are a part of our lives, and they offer so much affection and companionship.
I hope in time that your pain lessens and you can smile when you think about your Smokey...:hug:

Hi Riverwild,
I want to thank you for your kind words---they really mean alot. Smokey was our best friend, he was always there to greet you & always wanted to know what was in the bag, especially if he thought that it was something for him. ;)
He never took the bag---he just had trouble being patient for us to say whether or not it was for him. :) It just seems so strange around here. I know that its only been 2 days, but it just doesnt seem right. It rained this morning & he always wanted in. I still cant believe that hes not here anymore. Ive cried so much that it hurts.
Thanks again---I really appreciate your being so kind.
Janet

Hi Mrs.D,
All Ive done is cry---I just cant help it. Like I said before I dont remember a time when he wasnt here. It just seems so lonely without him. Thank you for your kind words---they really mean alot.
Janet

Hi Debbie,
They truly are a part of your family & I know that alot of people ( some family members) would say----its only a dog & get over it. There is no way that I can do that, he was a big part of our family for a long time & I cant for their sakes pretend that he didnt exist. I dont know why some people think that animals are stupid or that they dont matter---because they arent stupid & they do matter.
They are the only ones that show you "unconditional love" all the time. He was so special that words cant even come close to describing how special he was. Thank you so much for your kind words---they mean alot.
Janet :hug:

Janet,

I am very sorry your Smokey has crossed the Rainbow Bridge. How wonderful you opened your heart and home to a 'rescue'. I was raised in family that found all our very best compaions from rescue.

When I was young and experienced my first loss, my Dad explained that it was important to remember the memories and to smile. Eventually the happy memories would chase away the tears and pain. And then, it would be time to gift our hearts and home to another companion in memory of our last wonderful companion.

Everyone's circumstances are different - and everyone grieves differently. The tears will end with time; but luckily, the happy memories will last forever.

Sue

Hi Janet,

thinking of you at this time, its always so hard losing a loved one!!!

My gorgeous dog Ned has been gone over a year and a half, and I still find myself crying sometimes when I find a hair, or read something I've written about him.
I think its just a matter of grieving and remembering the good times.
You are right animals arn't stupid and they do matter. My dear boy helped me so much he was always ready with a smile or a tail wag, or to snuggle up next to me when I needed comfort. They truly take up a space in your heart that can never truly be mended I think, just slightly filled when the next one comes along.
My boy is gone but not forgotten.
I hope the days slowly get better for you,
take care
Kate

Hi Suev,
Not alot of people know about the Rainbow Bridge, so when you spoke of it----it told me that you have loved your "babies" also. When we got Smokey---he already had arthritis & I was the only one that could even get close to him because he had been abused. After awhile he warmed up to hubby---then they were the best of buddies. You could see them walking together, side by side. He absolutely LOVED to go swimming. The minute you would say "swim" or "the creek"---he couldnt get to the car "fast" enough. He "loved" the snow & would play with his water bottle that had a little bit of ice in it. He was a "big" baby about 200 pounds---but he hated storms. I think that whoever had him before us---used that as a "punishment" for when he did something wrong---in their eyes of course.
He absolutely loved to "scratch" his butt under a hemlock tree that we have---which made his thick fur just stick together. He also loved to be brushed---he would lift his front paws so we could "reach" better. I know that we will have some great great memories of him & I know that hes not hurting anymore---but its just so lonely around here.
We have other babies, but Smokey was one of a kind---having our other ones helps some---but Smokey & Grumpy are the only ones that dont think that the cats are chewy toys. Grumpy just doesnt know what to do these days. He just lost his brother "tater" & now Smokey---he looks so lonesome. He (grumpy) isnt one for the normal toys---balls or stuff like that---he would play with them & now he just doesnt know what to do. Smokey was a wise old man & he is missed in so many ways. Thank you for your kind words---I truly appreciate them more than you know.
When I can figure out how to add pictures I will be able to show you my loveable Smokey. Thank you again for your words.
Janet

Hi redtail,
I appreciate your kind words---I cant tell you how much they mean to me. Im so thankful that we have tons of pictures of him & loads of funny moments that we can think of. Its just so hard now---knowing that with the rain that he would be in the house either next to me in my hospital bed or next to hubby. He was always laying beside one of us. Theres just a major void right now. He was such a character----he made us laugh alot. I know that in time that things will get better, because we've lost other loved ones---its just that Smokey was with us so long---that its going to take longer.
Thank you again for your kind words. :)
Janet

(((Tiredofpain))) I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It is painfaul. Our dear ((Alffe)) recently lost her precious Cooper. I pray your heart heals more with each day.

I've been thinking of you Janet. :hug:

How are you managing?

I've been in the same place as you are now.... too many times to write about .... and every time feels like the first. No pet's passing feels any less painful than another. :(

I understand what you're going through ... as do so many other NT members.

I'm so glad you posted here, and reached out to this wonderful group of people. What nicer introduction than to ask for solace and receive it.

Hi Doody,
I want to thank you for your kind words--they really mean alot. Ive gotten more sympathy from ya'll here than I have my own family that lives right down the driveway from me & they knew Smokey. I was there for them when their cat died---hubby even made a sign for them & dug the hole.
I really dont understand why they dont get what we are going thru. Its like they just blow everything off. Theyve seen me in not only the pain from loosing Smokey but the pain that I deal with everyday due to c.r.p.s & they just dont see it at all. I just dont know what to do.
Maybe one of these days they will understand---but Im not going to hold my breath until they do---I would turn blue--thats how un-aware they are.
Thanks again Doody.
Janet

Hi Ann :hug:

Ive been really trying to do good--but its only been a week since we lost Smokey & I cant tell you how hard this week has been. Ive looked for him so many times that I cant count. Somethings just off----if you know what I mean?

You're right---even though its not the first time that we've lost a "baby"----it sure does feel like it. The other ones that we lost were "murdered" by a drunk that used to live close to us---but he's gone from the neighborhood now--which Im so glad that hes not around here anymore. He cant kill anyones animals.

Im really glad that you told me about this place---it really helps alot. Like I told Doody-----Ive gotten more sympathy here than I have from my own family & they knew Smokey. They were so "afraid" that Smokey was going to "eat" their small dog that they would panic when Smokey went down the driveway. Even thou we told them over thousand times that Smokey wasnt going to hurt their dog they still didnt listen to what we said.

Getting the sympathy that Ive gotten here means more than ya'll will know. It lets me know that there are people who care. ;) I really was begining to wonder if there were people that care or if it was just a myth---now I know. Its just too bad that I cant get any from my family for any reason at all.
Thanks again for your kind words---they mean the world to me.
Janet :hug:

Doggie Prayer
 

A I STOOD BY YOUR BED

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, you were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care. I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ... in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.

Hi Doodle bug 7,
I read this yesterday & it brought tears to my eyes---so much that I couldnt even say thank you to you. I just read it to my hubby & we both cant tell you how much we appreciate your very dear kind words. The whole thing just reminds us of Smokey--because thats how he is. Its been such a short time since we lost him that it still hurts so badly.
We still look for him & wonder for that brief second where he is & then we remember & its just so hard. We had him for so long---that hes just always been right here. We've loved him for so long--that we just thought that he would always be here with us----I know that he was old & in alot of pain & I know that hes not hurting now & that hes just running around looking at everything so that he can show us. I only know of one other person that views animals the same way that we did---that is until I started this thread with the help of Ann---who told me that I should do it & Im so glad that I did.
Everyone's kind words helps & it means so much to my hubby & I.
Thank you again so very very much.

Janet :hug:

Hi everyone,
Today marks the second week without Smokey. Its like all the other babies know that somethings not right---they all acted strange today. I dont know if they just thought that Smokey was just away or what----but now its like they all know that hes not coming back & they are all sad---just like hubby & I are.
Usually they would all sing at certain times of the day--- but now they are one singer short & it just doesnt sound right to the rest of the group.
It still feels so lonely around here. I want to thank everyone that has passed on their sympathies to us---they really mean alot. My own sister hasnt said anything since Smokey first passed. Oh well---its not like I can make her care. They were so afraid of Smokey----just because he was a big boy---doesnt mean that he was going to "eat" them or anything.
Thanks again,
Janet

Hi Janet,

still thinking of you and your empty house!!!!
I still cry over my dear dog after 18 months..................
My sisters little kelpie came in the other day, and went searching for her "mate" through the house when I showed her one of his collars, so she still remembers him. Animals are amazing creatures, and we don't give them enough credit, well some of us do.

take care,
Kate

Hi Kate,
Thanks, I really appreciate it. Your right---it sure is empty here---it truly feels like a deserted island---if you know what I mean. We have other babies but Smokey was such a major part of our family that it just feels like my heart has been ripped out & it just hurts so bad.
He hated the rain so much that he would be in the house with us & it just doesnt seem right that we're in because of the rain & hes not---if that makes any sense to you.
It took us a long time to get over the loss of loosing our other babies & I know that this will take time too--its just been such a short time that doing the "normal" things is just too hard.
I really appreciate your kind words. Thanks again.
Janet

Janet,

I'm looking forward to seeing pictures. I'm also sorry for you loss.

befuddled2

Hi Befuddled2,
Im sorry that it took me so long to answer you but Ive been sicker than a dog & was hurting to bad to get on line & do anything at all---that is other than puke. No fun at all.
I still havent figured out how to post pictures--even thou I was told how---I tried that & still havent had any luck at all. Im going to keep trying thou because Smokey was a beautiful boy. Its been just 3 weeks now this past sunday & the loss is still great. I still cant believe that hes gone, hes been here every day for years & now hes not---it just doesnt seem normal, if you know what I mean.
Thanks again for your words---every little bit helps, if you know what I mean.
Janet

Janet, it will take time before the emptiness and sorrow ease up. Can you post in the computer forum and ask how to post pictures?

befuddled2

Hi befuddled2,
It just seems so strange ( for the lack of a better word) around here without Smokey. He was always inside the house when it rained & it rained yesterday & he wasnt in the house. I think & I know that this sounds strange but I miss him more when it rains because its just a reminder that hes not here. He would be in on his big cushion just as happy as can be. I did ask how to post pictures & even though I was told how to do it---for some reason Im unable to do it that way. Dont know if Im still doing something wrong or I just dont have the right program to do it with. Im still going to keep trying to get the pictures posted, because he was so beautiful that I want you all to see him.
I really appreciate all the kind words that have been said to me & they really help.
Janet

Thread on posting pictures -

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Or if you upload them on your profile page/ photo album that might work easier since it will try to re size for you if that is the problem.

Go to your UserCP and then moce down to Pictures & Albums.

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