Very mixed
 

emotions at the moment. I looked at a much cheaper apartment this morning and just now mailed the application to the manager to it. The apartment is not as nice as the one I'm in now but I suppose with a lot of love to it it may be suitable. I really want this apartment on one hand and on the other I don't want it because it's not as nice. I have no choice though but to move into cheaper living arrangements. It will be very costly to me in the process of moving. The air conditioner in the apartment does not work all that great and if it's one thing I really need is a good working air conditioner as I like it really cold. I did not tell the manager I am not satisfied with the air or the smell of the apartment because I am always way too nice. Now I hate myself for not voicing my concerns right off the bat.

befuddled2

My diamond ring is gone
 

I've been noticing some money missing out of my wallet these past couple of weeks and just today I noticed my diamond ring is gone. I am so upset I don't know what to do.

befuddled2

:eek:

Who took it ??? any ideas ???

Blue,

I found the ring not long ago and am waiting for the officer to call me back so I can let him know. I feel like an idiot.

befuddled2

Barb

I'm so glad you found the ring. And don't feel like a idiot. Just remember its easy to misplace things. My husband knows he has lost a pair of $500.00
eyeglasses.

Donna

That's an expensive pair of eye glasses Donna.

befuddled2

Dear Barbara,
I completely hear you on being in an apt with a good A/C.

Are you moving to get a lower monthly rate AND a new A/C?
Are those your issues?

Can you keep looking around and maybe find different neighborhoods?

I send good apt hunting luck. :) :) :)

M.

Mari,

I've been looking at apartments for almost a year now and these are the best deal for the money. The issue is getting away from the bad seed where I live now and being in an affordable apartment.

Dear Barbara
 

it isn't too late to talk about the AC with the manager of the place you looked at. you could just call up and say you were considering taking that apartment (catch his interest) but that you noticed while you were there that the AC unit was not cooling very well and that you really need a good AC unit - would they be willing to work with you on that.

as far as the general conditions of the apartment - up to you if you want to speak up. my thought is with cheaper housing you are likely to run into sub-optimal things... but that you can pick your battles as to which sub-optimal things to accept / fix up on your own, and which to make a stand about. my thought is that if you tell them they have a cruddy apartment they will probably just figure someone else will take it... catch my drift?

one important thing however. you probably know this but i'll say it anyway - always for check for water stains/ discolored streaks down the walls or the presence of mould, both inside and outside, and any darker patches on the ceiling are telltale signs of infiltration. also look at the rooftop - see if any visible damage. if there are leaks when it rains you can get quite some damage depending what gets rained on. so if you didn't check that aspect, do. you can at very least do a drive by to check the exterior. hopefully you can remember inside if there were stains. the ceiling is very important though - i hope you did look at it.

good luck bargaining and apartment shopping. ;)

~ waves ~

Thank you Waves. I will do that. I am hoping I get the apartment. I was recommended to them last Spring by reliable people. I heard that only 10 out of about 30 people paid their rent on time where I live now. I am one of the ones who paid it on time. Yet the owners won't fix things for me and bad mouth me to other residents. I can not wait to get out of here if I am able to.

befuddled2

oh
 

so you have decided to go for it... cool! good luck then!!!

i'm gonna keep my fingers crossed for ya. :) :hug:

~ waves ~

Barb

We own rentals, and I would definately ask about the A/C unit. But I would
also check around at some of the agencies that do things for low income people. In our area if you have certain conditions you can get a air conditioner.

Also this last summer and now this coming year. A tv channel is doing a program for A/C and heating. Someone has to submit the persons name.

Donna

I'm so upset
 

Bobby came to town today without my knowledge of it until I called him at 9 tonight. When I asked him if if I could see him tomorrow he said he'd be in Hanks at 4. I told him that I am not going in there at that time cause of the 2 people in there that hurt my feelings. Then I asked him if he went in there today and he said yes. I could tell he was ashamed to tell me he did. He said he would call me tomorrow. I called him back after having a beer and he said he was kind of sleeping so I kept it short. I told him that him and I need to talk tomorrow. Bobby went to Hanks to see the very people who have causes me more grief than anything. Bobby didn't even make an effort to see me today when he got into town but yet he went to Hanks.

I am going to tell him that if he wants to see me he's going to have to come to my place and pick me up and take me somewhere or else it's over between him and I. I'm done with all the drama with him.

Maybe he doesn't know what he wants out of life yet...
some people never do figure it out...

I hope you can talk with him and work out what kind of relationship you are having with him.

1. just friends only
2. or working into special friendship
3. possible romantic relationship

You can't control him you can only control yourself.
He is doing what he has always been doing visitng making nice with people trying to have fun...he is not doing this to intentionally hurt you.
please don't take this personally. You may not go there now but can not ask him to not go there, these are his friends and you are trying to control him.
maybe I am seeing this wrong....
bizi

Barb

Make some new friends. And try to hang in there. I hate to see you
ruin your friendship with Bobby because he wont do exactly what
you think he should.

Please watch what you do. If its a friendship you want to keep, give
him a little room.

Donna

Dear Barbara,
It makes sense to me that you speak clearly about what you need and what you want.

But he might not go along with your needs.

That's ok. At least you are doing what is right for you.
(Both of you are free to make choices.)

M.

Thank you all. I wrote this letter to give to him tomorrow.


October 15, 2009


Bobby:

I am very hurt because instead of letting me know you were in town and asking to see me you went into Hanks. I also am hurt that you would ask me to meet you in there knowing how Elizabeth and Nancy have done me. I am also hurt that instead of you picking up my medicine the day I went to the hospital you went into Hanks instead. Elizabeth told me you were in there. I didn’t believe her because she had been rather mean to me for the past month and I couldn’t believe you would do that to me. Now I believe it. I’ve caught you in lies before and that hurt me. Why would you give me your Post Office Box address if you don’t get personal mail? You only said that because you didn’t want for me to know you read that letter against my wishes. I am hurt that after all this time you would even still ask me to meet you in Hanks. It doesn’t look like you respect me enough to come to my place and pick me up and take me somewhere.

I am really hurt Bobby and it’s got to either change or come to an end. I thought I meant more to you and I really feel let down. I feel like such a fool but I will learn from this experience for sure. I don’t want you getting mad at me as I have every right to feel this way. I do not want to be 2nd to the people in Hanks which are what it looks like I am by your actions. I am not going to be a fool any longer so that is why I say things will have to change or that’s the end with us. I can not accept you the way things are going at the moment with us. I like you a lot and it hurts when I’m treated like I’m nothing to you.

barbara

Dear Barbara,

'Sending hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug:
It sounds like you have a lot of hurt about this.
M.

Thanks. I do have a lot of hurt about this. I should see him in a couple of hours to give him the letter.

befuddled2

Bobby never called me yesterday after his doctor appointment so I call him. He did now answer his phone all 3 times I called him so on the 3rd time I told him I am tired of being hurt over and over and him and I are done, we're zilts. I told him he really did hurt me and hung up. I have caught Bobby in too many lies and other things that no matter what he does know it still going to be over with him and I.

It still does not stop this aching heart of mine. I can't eat and all I want to so is sleep.

befuddled2

Dear Barbara
 

I'm sorry you are hurting. This situation sounds quite complicated and frustrating. :(

Your appetite will come back. Getting sleep sounds like a good idea.

Try to limit self-medication or any over-medication. I'm not trying to waggle a finger ... it's just that i used to and still get tempted sometimes, and i still fall for it sometimes when i am vulnerable.

But in my experience, it just makes things worse in the end. It takes the edge off temporarily, only to create other problems. In the case of alcohol it can cause us to lose our clarity and disinhibit us to where we do things we regret later. I'm not fond of the benzo's either but if you feel the need for something, try to stick to those and take the smallest effective dose.

I just hope you are ok. Please be careful.

Do get some sleep. Sleep is good.

I hope you wake up feeling a bit better.

~ waves ~

Thank you Waves. Yesterday was the day I took benzos and drank also. I do not want to take anything today as I don't need a hangover tomorrow again. I want to go to church tomorrow and try to get on with my life.

Like my sister said today and I have to agree with her: There's been too much hurt with Bobby to go back now."

It is complicated like most relationships usually get that have cause for one to end.

befuddled2

I think when the right one comes along - it should be easy.

this one is too complicated - or just not ready for any commitments at this time.

:grouphug:

Barbara,
Treat yourself with all the kindness that you can.
Please be careful.

M.

How can you end this and not be bitter or resentful. How can you still see him at hanks or else where that you hang out or you planning on never going to hanks again. you went there alot didn't you? YOu still have some friends there?that is the thing about dating someone in the group that you hang out with...if things don't work out then it is awkward in the group.
sorry you are upset about this.
bizi

Jo, him not committing has nothing to do with me breaking things up. I would not want to associate with anyone who lies to me, and betrays the friendship like he did.

Bizi, I am mad but I'm not going to let the anger control me. I am really thankful that I did not get in any deeper with Bobby before it could have been worse. I always try to make lemon aid out of lemons when it comes to life.

I went out to the bar today that Bobby doesn't go to. I can still go to Hanks at certain times and that won't bother me. I just won't go in when he does. In time it will not bother me. I see the guy in the bar I went with last year and it doesn't bother me.

befuddled2

P.S.
 

The people in Hanks are not friends so I don't feel bad about not going in there at the time Bobby does. They are acquaintances, not friends.

befuddled