Being in Control
 

I am so glad to have control back of my life. I am thankful for what I've learned over the past 6 months. I am so proud of myself for how far I've come over the past 5 years. I've quit smoking, left my abusive ex husband without a job, gone with some bad seeds, and stopped it, since being single but not without learning. I am really hopeful for a brighter future. My life just gets better and better as time goes on. I ditched my shrink and now control my mental health with just a medical doctor. I haven't even seen a therapist in a while and am still doing well on my own. I am wondering if I should be re-valuated for a diagnosis or if I've outgrown my Bp.

I'm free, yippeee!

befuddled2

Dear Barbara,
I am glad that you are happy about your life....
perhaps it is a good idea to be reevaluted. My best friend was misdiagnosed when she had a suicide attempt that was 10 years ago. at one time she was on 8 different meds.....now she is on nothing. Hers was a situational depression. She changed her situation learned ways of coping and no longer needs medication.
I am wondering if that is what you mean?
are you still on meds? are you wanting to go off them if you are still on them?
bizi

Bizi,

I only take meds as needed. I had stopped the Depakote at least a year ago due to bad acid reflux. From what I am learning I could be ADD instead of Bp. I know I'm high strung which people are not use to.

If you go and get evaluated they can determine if you are indeed add instead of bipolar, there are meds for that if that is the route you wnat to try.
There are a lot of high strung people who are not medicated.
YOu do seem to have highs and lows which looks like a mood disorder but that is true for add as well and also normal for "normal" people too.
The depakote was a mood stabiliser so that you did not have too high of highs or too low of lows. I wish you had a therapist, a professional that you were working with for the issues you deal with.
bizi

Bizi, I can not afford a therapist or to be tested. I took an online evaluation that is not intense like a real test would be and I did score high for being ADD. I do still take the anti-psychotic, loxapine, to help me sleep. If I do not take it for a couple of days I do feel out of sorts and on edge. I do not ehibit signs of szchophrenia except maybe for being on edge without the anti-pychotic. Sometimes I will fall asleep without the loxapine. I do not intentionally not take it.

I have a double cousin who is a lot like my symptoms, high strung, very emotional at times, loud at times. She's never had anyone make her get treatment for herself like I have. She's married with a kid and works so she is very fuctioning. I find it very interesting this cousin and I are so much alike and yet the way our immediate families handled it with resulting outcomes for both me and my cousin to be so different.

The only therapist I have is the DV one. I should see them soon.

barbara

Barb

When it comes to the ADD you really don't need a therapist to diagnose this.
I would talk regular doctor about this. See if he would do a prescription
of a medication to see if it helps. Telling him how you did the test on
yourself.

Donna:hug:

It looks like your med that you take is supposed to help with agitation.
It did not look to be like a sedative.
How are you sleeping these days?
I take an antipsychotic and I am not psychotic, it is useful to help prevent mania. I take it at a high dose without anywhere to go if I become manic again so I would have to change medications if/when that happens.
I will take it the rest of my life.
that was hard typing that.
taking meds is manditory. I still get into trouble when I screw around with my meds...last summer I took myself off ambien and became manic....I am starting to not sleep again(on top of 80mg of geodon)
any way....
It is hard to walk in any one shoes...it is your life and you get to live it how you see fit.
I used to have as a signature attachment.
"Happiness is a decision"
I still believe this to be true.
keep posting, venting, we are listening.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Bizi, I am pretty much satisfied with my loxapine the way I take it for the time being. My sleep has not been normal since I quit smoking almost 5 years ago but it does not bother me. I think most of the way I am is due to the influence of situations and people in my past. I use to do drugs when I was having episodes of what was diagnosed as being BP. My mom was bi-polar so every one said I got it from her. I don't know for sure but for now I'm okay with things.

barbara

you are doing well then barbara, I am glad to hear that.
sleep is so important to us that is why I mentioned it.
bipolar does have a genetic predisposition, it runs in my family as well as other issues...but I think that is much more common then we all realize.
all families have issues that they deal with that is called human nature.
WE are not perfect and never claim to be.
I hope I don't come across like a know it all...sorry if I do , don't mean to.
I wish for you peace of mind....
bizi

B, I haven't been through your past posts, so I don't know your mood profile at all. I appreciate and applaud your achievement and coping abilities.

Umm ... apologies if I am overstepping, you don't think you could be just a little bit hypomanic?

A little bit of hypomania is good, as I am sure you know. But please just think about it. But even if there is a ten percent doubt, may be you should consult your medical doctor?

I am sorry if I am overstepping.

Isis,

Thank you for the compliment. I don't know what you mean by hypo manic? Can you elaborate? I am really fine with me and none of my 3-D friends has brought any such odd behavior to my attention. In fact, I am told I am pretty, smart, have good sense of humor, and am a very strong woman. I like to focus on the positives and not anything negative.

Bizi, Isis, and all else. I feel like a stranger here in the BP forum. I don't feel like everyone else here feels. i don't feel like I fit. I am happy with myself except when certain outside stimuli brings me down.

Barbara

A lot of members post where their friends post, I don't have BP but I still read & even post here once in awhile.:cool:

My SIL has some mental health issues , depression, maybe BP ..- she doesn't talk about it much at all, but reading here helps me learn & understand.
So if she ever does open up I'll be able to understand better what she is going through.

Dear BArbara,
WE are all different...I don't think that one of us says I feel like her.
I can't think of anyone else here who exhibits the same traits because I am different.
bipolar folks deal with extremes....some times emotiional rollar coasters, not just the psychotic or the suicidal which these are the severe extremes and being bipolar you can experience these extremes rapidly...or subtly.
there are other types of moods that we can exhibit, anxiety agitation, feelings of worlthlessness. some people have a multiple of diagnosis here, post traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, OCD, ADD, depression, phobias, mixed moods, rapid cycling, hypomania, cyclothymia, agoraphobia, there are many many different reasons why we come here we all all different. maybe we have a loved one that has bipolar or a child. WE welcome any and all people regardless of their diagnosis. Many people who are depressed may post here because the depression forum is not that active same thing with OCD. Some people post over at the suicide survivors forum too, when they are feeling suicidal and need support in that particular area. Alot of the depression folks post there as well. But usually people post on the bipolar forums because they or someone they know has ie diagnosis or thinks that they might and want to learn more.
YOu have been posting for along time here and have become like family. We care about your well being and try to support you as best as we can.
I may be getting a bit worked up over the past week planning my cruise....you could say that I am getting hypo manic about this. If I were not diagnosed bipolar you might say that I was a bit obcessive and would not think anything of this...especially if I were an undiagnosed person.
When ever I get passionate about something I have to worry am I getting hypomanic.....which uncontrolled can turn into mania and if I were not medicated I could become psychotic because I have been there and done that scene before...so now that I have typed so much I have to second guess and say that I am getting a bit "worked up" over this and I should quit.
All this time I thought that you were bipolar.
sorry I assumed that.
bizi

Yes. This makes good sense.
 

Bizi,

This is a nice Manifesto. http://bestsmileys.com/clapping/6.gif
Thanks.
M.

Hi bizi, well said. I tried to click the Thanks button. It disappeared but didn't register. :o

Sending hello and hugs
 

Dear Barbara,

How are you?

In your last post you sound good. :) :D :)
That's great to hear.

M.