It's so crummy
 

I know there's worse...better.....tougher...weaker.....I'm just so friggin sick of it. I've been married for 4 years and the foot trouble's been going on for 5. It would be so nice to have a true game plan to folow. I've tried 'em all. Diet, meds, all the tests, the conflicting diagnosis. Up and down.....terrible to so so. It's so blasted hard to cope with the idea that I'm a prisoner of these painful feet for the rest of my years on God's Earth. I'm so tired of fighting the fight. I'm tired of gulping down the pills, icing the feet, living in Birkenstocks...dreading the days I have to wear dress shoes to court. Oh, I could just cry. Sorry for spilling.....I know it is just a long line of another guy blathering........:(

Aching feet
 

I (truly) feel your pain. Nothing I've tried works well, but epsom salts in warm water help, as does a heating pad set to low.

Vent all you want my friend. No one understands more then the people who post here. Just know you are not alone....:grouphug:

I second that! We are here for you!

IT AIN'T FAIR, Jack!

It really isn't.
Most of us here are intelligent, informed sufferers and we have been dealt a card from under the deck! We should be living healthy, happy, pain-free lives.
Skiing, sailing, bowling, tennis, football, baseball, ....... you name it !!
And we should be doing all of the things we have loved to do all our lives, instead of being held captive prisoners of a neurological disorder/disease that has no known cure!

I'm mad as hell and I don't want to stand for it anymore!!

But, y'see.........we have to!
We have to 'bite the bullet' everyday of our lives - 'cause there really is no other choice.
Resignation to the fact that we have a chronic ailment is half the battle.
We won't lay down and give up hope, but we have to be realistic enough to see the forest for the trees. (I just love trite analogies)
Ya gotta maintain a sense of humor and occupy your mind and your time with enough other crud to keep yer mind off of the PN. When I'm really busy, I forget about it...mostly. At least enough so I'm not constantly whining and miserable.

Those closest to us have to deal with us .... and we with them.... or we lose them.
Constant whining and complaining and self-pity, makes us look not so attractive, y'know?

Its bad enough that we gain weight, have trouble walking, trouble going to the fair, shopping in the supermarket, even going to the mailbox ... but we just have to 'tough it out' and keep on truckin'.
Take the damn pills! At least they help. Better than nothing.

Every morning, when I'm not really awake & I look into the glass of water, spoon the Metamucil "Clear & Natural" into it (cause the Lyrica is constipating) and start to take down the 10 or 12 bottles of Rx's and supplements and vitamins -
I think "I'm so tired of doing this crap that I could puke!!".

When I'm rubbing my feet with menthol cream that smells up the whole room, I think that I'm becoming an absolute freak that can't just put on my shoes and go to work.

When my legs feel like cement and it takes me 3-5 times as long to climb the stairs as I used to, I think that I'm such a burden on everyone around me because I cannot just do, what 'normal' people do - walk up stairs!

Jack, you've got a lot of company...... so have a pity party here, and don't bother anyone else with it. That's why we come here, cause its a group who understands.
There are a lot of people here... some who are a lot worse off than I am. I'm fortunate that I'm not worse than I am and thank my lucky stars that at least I've found a community that I can come to.
Its my daily fix on reality, and my release when I need it.

You've got company, Jack ...... a lot of it!

Oh God
 

Bob, you almost bring me to tears. I have identified with you from the start. My wife, as much as I do love her, she just doesn't understand like you do. I find your response so supportive and caring. You are one heck of a nice guy. Thanks everyone, and especially you Bob.

I will speak for me, and not others. I'm driving home....not a care in the world.....and BAM, that was the beginning of the end for me. Shooting pain in my foot. Out of the sky blue! And since then.....whew! Thanks everyone.

jakatak
 

Your one good asset is being able to visit this forum sharing your feelings with those who can relate to your malady. About 10 days ago I saw the foot surgeon at the VA hospital for my Lyrica renewals and ask for and received a Lidocaine injection for this neuroma that causes me the most discomfort, well it didn't do what I had hoped and as I type this its doing its usual night time throbbing and shooting electrical reactions up my right leg into my hip. The left leg and foot where the PN started don't bother me much any more and is twice as strong as my right. I force myself to tinker around in the shop as I can't stand setting around and it helps get my mind focused on something constructive. Its a shame the lot of us is not together playing in a pinochle game tonight and drinking green tea:D. Hang in there for this too shall pass and the sun will bring a new day.
Lanny

Yeah, the burden is heavier some days than others...
 

...and I'm sure my wife is tired of hearing me complain about it.

I am interest to hear more about the stair-climbing effects. In the morning I can climb the stair to my bedroom and bathroom just as a normal person would. Even run up the stairs. Evenings? Most of the time my wife goes upstairs to fetch my "home" clothes because after 5, I have only one (1) effort to go upstairs in me and I save it for bedtime. When I go my legs feel like cement and I have to also use the handrail to help pull me up.

Where's the dignity in that?

Complain away fellow sufferers... I hear ya'

Cowboy

It truly isn't fair!!!!!

I suffered through over 2-1/2 years of horrible SSRI withdrawal symptoms just to be rewarded with body-wide, painful neuropathy at the end of my taper of the drug. I have a dream job that I may have to walk away from and a wife and 15 month old daughter who rely on their father for support. I just want to wake up from this nightmare but realize that just isn't possible. That is my rant for today!

ive had pn for 8 years, lost a career of 18 years i had prepared for, was going to be promoted , spent years furthering my education while working in addition to special training, seminars etc to advance up the career ladder, ran 8 miles a day, all gone in a flash. Now between PN and COPD not working, every step is painful and legs feel like cement with an exertion. Getting that blank look when i explain to doctors how i got PN, the best they come up with is ideopathic. But if i had to do again what i did i would.

Since95, I was on SSRIs for a while in the 90's combined with tricyclics, now a 'no no'. There have been times I wonder how much these drugs caused. I can not touch anything with the least amount of SSRI in it or I get a total autonomic meltdown.

I have no explanation for how I got PN, but I know now I have an autoimmune condition.....of dubious causes.

SSRIs are not the benign drugs they have been played out to be....and they are hidden in compounds for many conditions. I had a Zofran shot for nausea that caused 8 hours of non-dopamine responsive dystonia! Zofran is a type of SSRI. Tramadol has SSRI. Be careful.

Lyrica
 

I absolutely hate hate hate hate to admit that this hideous drug of ill repute is the only drug that actually gives me a semblance of normalcy in my surgically ripped up feet. The tramadol, even oxycodone, don't do what that white pill does for me. When I try to taper off the Lyrica, my feet begin burning and aching and feeling just flat out crappy. My PN hasn't moved. It stays in my toes. I have no problem sleeping. But...to wake up to that numbness, burning and aching is so depressing. Sleep is so nice....I'm pain free. I used to be so athletic. I ran marathons....at 6'4"! Played hockey with my kids...downhill skiing. 16 Years at Lifetime Fitness. Now....fat...out of shape....but a wife that loves me...and two wonderful adult children. I guess it's okay.

You bet your sweet bibby it's Okay and you hang on to that wife and those 2 children like life support in the middle of the Pacific and your just floating there!!!

Sounds familiar to us all
 

Your feelings so accurately characterize what so many of us feel so don't feel bad about blathering...it can be cathartic and we all do it. I have tried to positioned myself around the belief that I don't have to be comfortable to function. That comfort is a desire, not a need. Somehow that gives me strength and determination when I am feeling victimized by this whole thing.

We are all so different and this disease/condition affects us each so differently, what works for one, won't work for another. We can only try to do what makes us the most comfortable, or at least function-able so that we can normalize our lives as best as possible.
I will go to any lengths, within my means, to try to normalize my life. I will not invest in the Brooklyn Bridge on a wild goose chase.
That causes stress, and stress is a BIG factor in my PN flares/episodes.
Early in the game (my initial Dx), I frantically searched for the 'magic bullet' and found that it is, at this point in time, realization and acceptance - that relieves the stress factor, and allows me to normalize- thru my meds & treatment. I've come to 'live with it', until a 'cure' can be found.

wiser words were never spoken.....its hard to get to that point of acceptance and i havent yet though i do realize, but acceptance is vital to coming to terms with the whole thing and living the best life you can.

Most of me accepts that PN is going to be with me for the rest of my life since it came on six years ago. Lucky for me it's never progressed past my knees, although I notice quirky things like I can no longer feel injections in my arms. The "pain" aspect of it hasn't gone past my knees, it's just those occasional flares that cause me to go 4-6 weeks with excruciating pain that I can't accept. I'm just out of a six week cycle, brought on myself trying to wean myself from flexeril, bad mistake, I have to accept that my med cocktail is what keeps me at a tolerable level. It works and that acceptance is what I need to come to terms with, and yes I do occassionally have a pity party and want the old me back, but its a party of one so its over rather quickly:).....Coming here has been more beneficial than anything else, we are all in this together!

Oh so true
 

I just went back to my old post, because I am in a bad way again....and after reading your post, I feel so much like you in your assessment of the PN condition. How in the world did these feet fail me? They worked so well for so many years, and I sure took them for granted.
I mean....I remember taking my socks off after some serious rounds of tennis, or running a marathon, and complaining about blisters!
I only wish I had blisters to complain about. Because, if I had blisters, I would be active again, and my feet would be normal. It is all so said.

I know how you feel =( my neuropthy is getting worse every day, now they have changed it to polyneuropthy and i am between treatments, its so hard to make it through a day when you dont know what to expect. I thought i was alone dealing with the cronci and always worsining pain untill i found this group, it does help but not knowing whats the next step makes it hard to cope. You try to think tomorrow will be better but you just never know..the pain had a mind of its own. Your not alone =)