Creativity - Only sort of off topic
 

I have a BS in Art Education and a Masters in Design. I was going to be a biochemist but must've taken a wrong turn at the large Univ. I went to! I think that the reason I've been able to figure out things like my B12 deficiency back in 1999 was that I had a creative background. I learned how to use both sides of my brain and integrate them to be a better problem solver. And what my Professor liked to call Associative Thinking. I honestly believe that is a main reason why so many doctors don't do as well as they could. They are stuck in the left brain!

You guys are open-minded and quite creative in lots of different ways, from what you've written here. I appreciate all kinds of creativity. And for those of you who think you can't be creative, you just haven't tried. Or you can't "see" that you are. None of us are born creative unless we are geniuses. It just takes practice.

Alice, You wanted to read a poem. I have not shared ANY of my book but I thought I'd share this poem. It's the final one in the book. It wraps up how I feel about doctoring and what I hope doctors will learn from it. And I want to emphasize again that I have only used my own experiences and those of my family in the book - I have not used anything from you guys or this forum! It's against the rules of the forum, yes. But more importantly, when you write a book, you need to draw on what YOU have experienced. Not that you guys don't have great stories but they are YOURS to tell.

I hope you guys feel like sharing what you like to create, whether that's children, food, music or anything else. This is a hard thing for me to share. I'm so critical of myself, so go easy! I think being creative may be a key to overcoming life with an illness like MG. Like figuring out how to make it through the day without wearing yourself out. Using paper plates when you are too tired. Having chairs everywhere to sit down on. Doing errands early in the day when you're less worn out. Seeing neuros in the afternoon so they can see how bad you are! Stuff like that. I know there are so many other things that keep us going, like faith, but our minds are so useful when we try to "see" things in different ways. ;)


Ode to Doctors
By Annie

Learn to love wrinkles
Not only the young;
Make peace with endings
Not only what’s begun.

Question your motives
Then answer them too;
Learn what you don’t know
Pass on what you do.

Act like you want
All patients to get well;
Don’t red-flag or drop them
Or blacklist them towards hell.

Talk about your mistakes,
Apologetic and sincere;
Most of us will be grateful
Some may even cheer.

I know you aren’t all
Villains, mobsters and such;
Some are princes among frogs
With no time to kiss much.

I know that it’s hard
Acting like you’re a God;
So come down off the pedestal,
Your patients will applaud.

Look for the cheese
Not only the mold;
Do what seems right
Not only what you’re told.

See what you don’t,
Not only what you do;
Diagnose the invisible
Not only what has a clue.

And when you screw up,
And you know that you will,
Don’t reach for the blame,
Or a lie or a pill.

Diagnose before pills,
Think before ever doing,
Caution never kills,
And patience is worth pursuing.

And when you feel jaded
Take time to think;
About living with a disease
Because having one stinks.

Tell your boss what you want
And all things that you need;
For the sake of your patients
Go ahead and plead.

When you write patient notes
Remember what you say,
Can hurt more than mistakes
And the damage is here to stay.

Learn to love knowledge,
Not only what you know;
Open wide your mind
And let your heart show.

Learn how to be creative
Setting your entire brain free;
Problems will be fewer
Making solutions easy to see.

At the end of each day
Take some time to reflect;
Be grateful for what’s right,
And rectify what’s incorrect.

Put away your doctor toys,
That means the lawyers too;
Take some time off to play
To begin the next day anew.

Maybe then you will know
And even possibly agree;
Doctoring isn’t about diseases
But the patients you see.

Annie!

I loved your poem !! You must let us know when you are published so I can order book!

And if not printed yet, please think about incorporating some of your fabulous pumpkin carving pictures - - be it on the cover or near your poems for an even greater effect!!

You are a very talented 'fully brained' lady, darlin' !!!

Sue

Thanks, Sue, but I am interested in what makes you want to create! Or what it is you create!!! And, yes, there are some pumpkins in one chapter. ;)

The book is almost done but the hard part is what I'm doing now. Putting in photos. Editing. Putting all the research in files, etc. I have no idea if it'll be published. I'll figure that out one way or another. It was mainly a cathartic thing for me, having gone through so much medical crap/doctoring.

I also think one's ability to be creative must increase relative to the decrease in your quality of life. :cool:

Annie,

I don't know what to say, I just don't have the right words. maybe that every med. student should be given you poem, on the first day of his/her training?

alice

creativity.
 

creativity is so many different things.

it is the way we think, what we do, how we bring up our children, or actually having them in the first place, the relationships we have with others. :hug:

it is art and science, it is the special and unique way in which we see the world around us, and also the way in which we express ourselves. :nopity:

it is what we are and how we live each day.:rain:

and what we cook and eat. and the way we learn to adjust our cooking and eating to our changing needs.:Starvin:

it is how we solve problems:idea:, or sometimes how we get ourselves into having problems.:Bang-Head: it is how we make mistakes and how we learn, or don't learn from them. :Oops:
it is how we dance, even we can only do it with our fingers, sometimes. :Dancing-Chilli:

it is what we wear and the way we put the different pieces of our clothing and jewlery together. :Tip-Hat:

it is also the courage to go against the flow, to be different sometimes, because this is what you feel is right for you. :stirthepot:

it is finding the way to have fun and relax. :sunchair:

it is being able to find the "open door" as in the words of Alexander Graham Bell
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

and it is also the ability to use what others have created before you, or with you as part of your creation.

“Great discoveries and improvements invariably involve the cooperation of many minds. I may be given credit for having blazed the trail, but when I look at the subsequent developments I feel the credit is due to others rather than to myself.”
Alexander Graham Bell


and of course it is what you draw and paint, or sculpture (if you can) :Painter: and what you write :laptop::Writting:

alice

hi Annie
 

That poem is brilliant I love it, just love it!

Like Alice says maybe it should be given to med students on their first day.

Its utterly brilliant.

I also want a first edition autographed copy of your book!

The inscription could read "fromone Boffin to another" ! LOL

Love
Rach

PS
I like writing stuff, I like a bit of cooking and Ive just discovered the joy of carving pumpkins.

Look for the cheese
Not only the mold;
Do what seems right
Not only what you’re told.

I love that ^

Very good poem. My creative side, if one would call it that is volunteering. I love helping others, be it write something for them {many ask me to do that because they like my handwritting} or helping a child to read. Volunteering is my thing {when I can do it}

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your creation! Excellent!! I can't wait to read your book.

I love to bake and I have fun doing little projects on paintshop pro. ~ Melanie

TWO things I've ALWAYS wanted to be able to do -- sing and write poetry. I literally YEARN to do these -- I "feel" the impulse deep in my soul, in my flesh, in my bones -- yet, I have absolutely NO talent. NO, don't even SAY to try -- I have. I am very, very realistic -- I have accepted my limitations. But, I bask in the reflected glow of beautiful voices and wonderful poetry. I am happy right now -- this is VERY, VERY good, Annie!!

Now, a little disconcerting -- I was a Computer Science major in college -- back in the "olden days" of main frames -- octal and binary codes -- tapes and cards. I yearned to be an artist -- my parents said there was no money, no future -- I yielded to their wishes. A series of rapes on campus left me fearful of traveling to the computer lab at night to do my assignments -- my father FINALLY allowed me to change to art education my sophomore year. I graduated with a BA in Art -- but, with SO many math courses that I was also certified to teach in that area. Of course, math teachers are at a premium, so I only got to teach art for a couple of years.

So, Annie, ANOTHER "mixed" brain gal here. I don't know about YOU -- but, my logic tends to drive "some" people sort of "crazy" -- like intimidation "crazy". I certainly NEVER mean to intimidate/scare ANYONE -- it just sort of happens. This sort of explains my "scary smart" remark, huh?

BTW, my art lay unused all of these years -- UNTIL MG hit. Now, it is my refuge. I can do art when I can do nothing else. I feel so blessed to be able to "lose myself" in a drawing -- hours pass -- time means nothing. This is part of why I do NOT hate MG. IF it were NOT for MG, I might have NEVER rediscovered my art!!

Creativity
 

Annie, thank you for the topic and for sharing your poem. It inspired me to write this morning since I felt terrible today but still am able to type (I can close my eyes and relax while typing).

I have also trained both sides of my brain. I have a degree in Chemical and Fuels Engineering and worked as an engineer for 10 years and loved it. I also have been writing a sort of dream journal for many years since I have many vivid and interesting dreams. I had a dream of being a writer when I was a kid but realized that it was unlikely to pay the bills so I picked a career that could have some positive impact on the enviroment (I love nature!) and at the time there weren't any "green" jobs or fields of study available so I picked the closest thing I could think of that was challenging.

I have a goal of turning many of my dreams into a fiction book but I really did't know where to start (I have some general ideas on how to tie the dreams together but that is all)...but I did start this morning and the result is interesting. I am not sure that it is a book to sell but I am enjoying it at least. It is fun to merge my dreams into a story - so some of it is real and some of it is not. My story will have very little to do with MG and nothing to do with anyone here...it does include the emotional part of MG. I don't know where my story is going really, it is mostly unfolding on its own out of my unconscious mind and finally it is starting out on paper. I have decided that everytime I feel yucky and need a break that I will type if I have energy to type.

I write poetry - I don't know if any of it is good but it sure feels good to write it (it is also mostly based on my dreams). I also take close up pictures of flowers and occasionally I draw in black ink my impressions of the natural world. I made a small book with some of these creations using the program Blurb online which was very fun. So I have a book that I created! It is called "Earth Flower Song". I decided to share it with others even though I am so critical of it myself-maybe someone will like it(did I share it with you guys? I don't remember). I have another similar project in my mind that wants to realize itself but this one requires some serious hiking(serious for MG that is) to see some rare flowers, I am not quite up to it yet.

I used to volunteer and get an oppurtunity to share my knowledge of plants and learn too(another hobby) but I am out of the extra energy needed to volunteer (stupid MG!!!:mad:).

I will join you guys and share a few poems...but that is for another post, this one is too long. Obviously I am spending more time than usual in front of the computer.

Creativity-only sort of off topic
 

Annie another great post!!! You have a way of getting the creative juices in our minds flowing and I LOVE it!!!

Creativity to me is whatever we choose to do to that makes us feel good or makes a difference in the world or our own little corner of the world. In my case I try and use my creativity to come up with ways to help homeless animals. I am sponsoring a local rescue group through the Holidays and try to get creative in finding ways to get the word out to others want to make a difference in an animals life. I am also a huge advocate of spay and neuter and try to educate people on the huge pet overpopulation problem we have. To me there is nothing better than having someone say they want to get their pet spayed or neutered but don't have the money. Just this week I helped a man with 3 adult female dogs and 6 puppies. We got everyone in yesterday for full vetting and set him up with food and supplies for them. He called me last night crying and told me I had restored his faith in humans and to pay us back for what we had given him he wants to start volunteering with the program. That MADE my day!!! So I guess my point is that creativity can be anything that makes us feel good about the mark we leave in this world. I always say when I rescue a dog that saving one won't change the world but it WILL change the world for that dog. I hope to leave this world a better place than I found it and my dream is to someday have a world where every pet is loved and has a home to call their own.
My other creative niche is cooking. I LOVE to try new recipes and try them out on my husband and boys. I especially like it when I come up with a recipe out of nowhere and it turns out great! I can thank my Grandma for that. She never used a recipe in her life and was the best cook I ever knew. She was from the South and could cook homemade noodles and pecan pie like NO one else. :wink:
Kendra

Ok, so let me make a tally -- I "see" at least 4 "science/math" types WITH a leaning toward the arts in this MG group (rather unusual, don't you think?). I don't know many like this in my "face-to-face" life.

I also have a Master's in Counseling. In another MG group, I am one of 4 or 5 of the counseling/psychological types. (Lizzie is here, too.)

Does anybody see a pattern? (Me, ALWAYS looking for patterns -- arrrrggghhhh!!!)

I do NOT think that we have "done" this to ourselves in any shape, form or fashion -- but, I wonder IF there are certain "types" of people that by their nature are more susceptible to MG/other autoimmunes.

Thank you for sharing with us Annie, I enjoyed your poem !

Annie,

I really liked your poem! I liked the last part, 'doctoring isn't about diseases, but the patients you see.' I totally agree that sometimes the person gets lost, and only the disease is focussed on. It can be so compartmentalized.

I like being creative too...I've been painting/drawing, writing poems/short stories, and singing/playing guitar/piano/percussion since I was maybe 12 or so...

I like science and math, but my sister is the one who's good at them...She took astronomy in university, but ended up doing environmental science...

I definately agree, Jana...I was thinking that maybe the chemicals in the paints we use (for the painters) maybe could have caused our MG? It was a little theory that was floating around in my mind for a while...

I used to oil-paint, and used turpentine plus linseed oil on a regular basis-in a pretty non-ventilated, small room-for years...

I've been painting a lot more lately...I'm almost finished a pretty large painting on wood of some flowers set to a stark white background...The flowers are all multicoloured....I'm also working on small canvas paintings (each about 5 X 4 ")....There are nine of them with a girl spinning...Each still of her spinning is a different colour, monochrome...I'm really into colourful things lately...Maybe 'cause my mood's sorta grey, and I'm bored as the house of commons channel (yes, even the channel finds the house of commons boring, it loses reception often...lol)

I'm worn out today, having done my weekly errands, so this will be brief.

Okay, I want to SEE some of your work. You guys sound amazing. Jana, if I had a half an hour, I could yank that creativity out of you. It's about learning, that's it. There are no limitations when it comes to creativity. That's the beauty of it. There are no "right" answers.

When I can focus my eyes and read more, I'll be back. ;) My entire face has melted off.

Poetry & Art
 

And now for a poem that I wrote to remind me of a dream, please be gentle with me. I also attached an image inspired by a Palo Verde tree in my garden.


Mountain speaks
I left you
and ran alone
to sing
with the Earth flowers

Music of the Earth
inflames our passion to dance

Desert flowers awake
hear the dreamer's song

The Wild Beast God awakens
bringing chaos and death

Who calls this being to dance?
It is I
the dreamer singing
The Earth flower song.

WOW!!! And WOW!!! No fair -- GREAT poem and BEAUTIFUL scratchboard drawing!!!

I think that people who like to learn and/or create are more likely to join a group like this. I know for me I am always craving learning and creating.

Learning and creating is like breathing in and out, it is necessary.

I always look for patterns, too. It drives other people crazy sometimes.

It could be that there are types of people that are more susceptable to getting MG. It is hard to know without more information.

Desertflower,

I love your poem and your picture....It reminds me of the tree of life...It's so spiritual, and hippy-ish! :)

I wrote this poem after driving to the store. It was mundane, but the city looked so sparkly and pretty.

A longer route home

GO, HESITATE, STOP and SEE,
Red, Yellow, white and Green
side by side,
placed there by builders, city planners and engineers
with intention of order of motion, time-saving,
paint-brushed incidentally, assembled through practicality,
streak across my perception like moving starry night, this night.
Unintentional paintings humbly hung along my way;
Repetition, contrast, monochrome, value,
accidental fruits of the chaos of by-product,
aren't noticed during the short road home.
But this night, I took the longer road home,
one with more STOP signs, travelling under the LIMIT,
slowing down even for GO lights.
an idea borne of purposelessness,
A painting, done with roads, lights, fixtures, and sidewalks,
once camouflaged in the quest for time-preservation,
displayed its textures, colours, shapes and its motives
because I had the time, and because I was receptive.

Ok -- I'm just going to have to STOP "visiting" this thread. LOVE reading the poetry -- some fearfully TALENTED folks in this group -- but, I am feeling more and more like a "wallflower at the homecoming dance". :(

I can draw and paint -- REALLY, I can -- I have no doubts about my talent -- but, what I would give to be able to put my feelings/observations into words the way that you all do..................................

I have huge doubts that I have any talent at all. Any creations are truly for me alone and it is only recently in my life that I decided to share with the hope that maybe just one person will be inspired.

Write or draw or paint and then sit back to see what you created. If you love to read poetry or look at art then I imagine that you can create, too. What I like about art of all kinds is that you get a chance to see the world in a new way, even if the art is imperfect, and maybe even especially if the art is imperfect. Imperfections are like the little crack in the wall that lets the sunshine in...and then you realize that the sunshine is wonderful. Sometimes through art that you create you can discover parts of yourself that you didn't know before.

Please don't go away....

Nicky, your poem is great and not so mundane, it reminds me that there is beauty everywhere even in the places we don't expect to find it but that we have to slow down to see it.

Susan, I LOVE your tree. Love the poem. You are one of those people who really "see" nature. It's a gift. And you seem to be happiest when you are surrounded by it. Me too.

Nicky, What a cool side to you. It never ceases to amaze me the variety of how someone writes or draws or whatever. Your poem had such passion, such insight into - like Susan said - the "mundane" of life. I wanted to add that your poem evokes a strong visual, at least for me. That may sound stupid but poems that do that always amaze me.

There are people like my oldest sister who make cooking an art form. Creativity I think just makes people feel good. And I when I see what someone else has done, I appreciate it so much. Especially when they probably feel like crap but set out to create anyway.

Don't you all wish more doctors were creative? I believe, truly, that if they were they would be much better doctors. So many see things in black and white.

I'm still worn out, so I'll keep this short. Thank you all so much for sharing your work. I know it's hard to do. It's like putting a piece of your soul out there.

Annie

Jana,

I belive that what you are reffering to, would be termed "selection biass".
( a very frequent and many times very easily missed error in medical papers).

I am quite sure that MGers come in all "colors and shapes", just like all people (including physicians). but, those that surf the internet and read what you guys write, and are looking to find people who can agree to disagree, who are supportive to each other, who have a good sense of humor (even if a bit sarcastic at times), who are able to think, and don't just accept what it said to them etc, will join.

so, it is not surprising that in this group of people you find such relatively open minded, tolerant, creative people.

I can reassure you that you can find many other types of MGers if you look in other places- those that don't even want to share their experience with fellow patients and just do what their neuros tell them to do, and accept everything that they say, and you obviously won't find them on any internet or other support group. those that think that if you say- "I am healthy"-3 times a day, then you will be fine. etc.

there are places where people basically want to hear "success" stories and don't like it when people "admit" that MG sucks, and that there is no way you can keep on leading your life the way that you did before.

there are places where there is one person in charge, and he/she decide what is appropriate and what is not. and all the others have to "be in line" or else they are "scolded" off forum. (as it is not "politically correct" to say such un-nice things).

etc, etc.

alice

So, we are moths drawn to the flame?? That sort of makes sense -- I didn't expect it to -- I wanted to find fault with the logic..............but, I think that you are right, Alice. I'll have to ponder -- I haven't chewed my cud for a LONG, LONG time -- too far removed from Academia!

Desertflower, I totally disagree with you, re. your doubts! You DO have talent! It's like when I went to the store that night. We catagorize everything. We set up ideals and paradigms of what's good, what's bad, what's beautiful, what's not, what's interesting, what's mundane, but they're all social constructs, at least in terms of the 'value' that we attach to the things around us. Everything around us is valuable, or it might not be valuable at all to someone, it's all in how we see it, and your poem/picture is valuable because it's your unique perspective of a thing, a sentiment to a regular, everday tree, and what that everyday, regular tree really means in the context of everything else...All that matters is the journey there, the creating part, the enjoyment of taking the stuff that's in your head and manifesting it into a thing that can be seen, heard, smelt, or touched. I have so much uncertainty, often, that the things I create aren't any good, or aren't good enough, but I remember that thing in me that doesn't care about what others might think about it, if they like it or not...I mean, I hope that they like it, but they might not- I just want to make something...If someone thinks it's crappy, that's okay, as long as I was honest when I made it...I just really like the kinesthetic part of creating and coming up with ideas of how to make my idea/perspective work...It's so uniting...And it's a picture, or a product of what I was feeling/thinking at that moment...It's like a little time-capsule, and a momentary philosophy that might change, or might not, but it was from an honest place at the time, and I enjoyed making it...

When I was going to school for graphic design, I went through this terrible period where I felt like I was a phony...I had everyone else's ideas stuck in my mind, and I was overly concerned with somehow copying them, because I was surrounded by other people's creations...It was terrible, because I felt like I couldn't be creative anymore, because I was sorta overly concerned with being completely original...I also hung around a sorta negative group of people who poopood everything that people created, who devalued art because they were sorta these nihilist intellectual-types who found value in nothing, seemingly especially things that people enjoyed...lol...It was very negative, and again, sorta suffocated my sense of creativity...

Since I got this blasted illness, and I have time, I decided that I'm going to let that part die now- the negative part that's judgemental, and cynical. I don't have much choice, and frankly, I'm pretty thankful it happened....It's only too bad that I had to get ill to realize it! When we do the things we love to do, we are truly living a good life.

Anyway, keep on creating, girl! You are very talented, and your poem and beautiful tree touched me!:)

Nicky'

in another thread you wrote that you want to have your old life back.

but, now you write of something you have non-intentionally gained from this illness. both your beautiful poem and what you write now, are a result of having to stop and think over again.

susan sontac once wrote that an illness is not a curse and not a blessing, it is something that you have to weave into the fabric of your life.

or in other words you have no choice but to re-create your life in a new way.

what ever happens to us in life leads to gains and losses. even a wonderful event such as a the birth of a child is accompnied by some loss of doing what you could easily do before.

and even a bad thing like an illness, can lead to some gains. (and I don't mean in the sense of "secondary gains" that people use, when they talk about someone taking advantage of their illness, I am talking about true gains such as the ones you talk about).

I think that if you eventually find the way to balance the gains and the losses, then you have found the way to weave it into the fabric of your life.

you say- but I remember that thing in me that doesn't care about what others might think about it, if they like it or not...

now take it further and tell yourself that you don't care if the pharmacist sees you difficulty speaking and you don't care what people think about how you look etc...

I can see a few patients in my clinic and then I have to take a break and use my respirator, take an extra mestinon etc. and then I can see a few patients again, or attend a meeting.

my neurologist is quite "confused" by me, because he says that patients that have a companion, use a wheelchair and require respiratory support, don't usually work. I told him that I take advantage of the fluctuative nature of this illness and use the good hours to accomplish what I want and need to do. and I am also extremly fortunate that my co-workers, family and even my patients are ready to accpet me the way that I am.

but then I thought that part of it, is because I am ready to accpet me in the way that I am. I don't feel sorry for myself that I have to use a wheelchair, so no one else does. I have no problem going to a resteraunt with my family and using my respirator if I need it, so no one else makes a big deal out of this. in some ways I see myself a very fortunate person, in other ways I see myself as very un-fortunate. I have abilities and dissabilities. areas that I am quite talented in and other areas in which I totally lack any talent. but aren't we all like that?

a few years ago, when I was really depressed realizing that I gradually have to give up most of my professional dreams, a good friend said to me- your life until now was a straight line. you knew exactly where you want to go, and knew exactly how you plan to get there, and everything worked just as you planned. now your life has become three dimensional, and you just have to start seeing that even though your straight path has been pretty much blocked, there are so many other paths that you can take.

and it took me quite a while to realize how right she was.

alice

Ok, I'm crying -- because I am so touched by this open admission. You have bared your soul, Alice. Not only do you FREELY allow others to see you in a wheelchair -- with a respirator -- needing assistance with probably most everything you do...............................you also allow us to take a peek inside. You are one BRAVE gal!! Hats off!!

thanks Jana,

but not more brave then any of you.

alice