I am unwell
 

Just a quick rant to say that I am officially unwell.
that is if you did not already know this.
Why can't I be more disciplined?
I think it has to do with the increase in stress that I am feeling.
We are getting ready to refinance our home and have a friend to now help us but I have this feeling that something is going to happen and we won't beable to close the deal. I am obsessing over this deal, it seems harder to do this than when we first bought the house. Our broker is rushing to close and that is what we want.....but.....we should close on the 20th.
I feel I am the only one carrying this stress.
we are spending alot of money to close, kind of like spend more money now to save money in the future....I have been impulsive lately....
Treating my girlfriend for a cruise, so 2 big money items going on at the same time...red flags!:eek:
anyway.
Jeff is away for the night and I don't do well while he is away. On the computer wayyyy tooooo much tonight,
between face book and farm town and now cafe world, there is a lot of play things to keep me from my charting and billing and balancing the checkbook......

I guess I did show some disciplin jsut now.
I think I am hypomanic and am just going to have to deal with it...
ready to go to bed.
~sigh after the chaos of halloween last weekend it will be nice to get some things done this weekend, maybe I can get caught up with my business.
ok meds are kicking in....signing off.
bizi

Thats quite a handful Bizi
 

It is.
Money issues are always worrying. Don't fret. Things generally work out, and I've actually read that apparently we Bipolars are more adaptable than normies. Apparently we are so watchful of our moods that we try and find an equillibrium as fast as possible, as longs as the Rxs are working.
Has the pdoc suggested Xanax sos?
Are you getting adequate sleep?

I used to be a compulsive drinker. It had started as self medication for the Depression as well as Lupus. For a couple of years I tried to control my drinking. Then I was prescribed a drug that I couldn't have any alcohol with. I tried a couple of times, but both the times I brain went to mush - very uncomfortable.Since then I've managed to stay off. Once or twice I've tried a sip from my husband's glass, but it doesn't appeal anymore.
For the past few months I have been completely off. I NEVER thought I'd be able to.

Take maybe a day off before getting into work again?

Dear Beth,

It will all be ok.

Do somethings this weekend that are good for you.

M.

congrats on last night. :grouphug:

Good job :grouphug:

Hang in there Beth, I agree wtih Mari, you thought about both things for a while so they don't necessarily count as part of a hypo pattern. I hope that you are feeling better this afternoon. I am sorry you're feeling unwell. I hope it passes soon for you. :hug:

((((( Bizi )))))
:hug::hug::hug::hug:

Today is a BAD day for me too...

I tend to jump manic when family and life pressures me....

Today I have screamed, yelled, fought with my family.... I cussed out my BIL... screamed on my sis's voicemail.... probably said things that I didn't mean...seriously.

I don't let things go easily....
RIght now I feel like I should apologize but on the other hand I feel what I said needed to be said....

:confused:

(((((((((Bizi)))))))))

Try not to stress.... it is bad.... for everything ! And remember stress wont help solving the problems, so, we have to try to avoid it (tell me about it :rolleyes: ) I know it is difficult, but... try :hug:

Everytime money is involved, stress is involved... but, try to think positive... you will close your deal ! Praying for you.

About alcohol.... well, have you tried something like.... hum... zinc tablets ?? they help with stress and, dont have the secondary effects of alcohol... :o

I smoke... :rolleyes: it sucks... sometimes I just need to, but I know it is bad... so, try not to...

Candies help too ! just, not overdose or anxiety may come...

Take care !!!


(((((Abasaki))))) Take care ! :hug:

{{{{{OH BIZI}}}}}}:hug:

Gosh I wish there was a quick answer and good one, but we all care so much for you. Sometimes keeping busy on the computer keeps us from just being distracted fretting.

I hate to be alone too. The link to others that we get from the computer is healing. I am not sure why it is often put down, but the therapy that is not to spend time on the computer leaves open a whole lot of what is there to do when the best thing IS to keep the mind busy on things that are not requiring us to heavy decisions.

Try subbing some exotic teas instead of the alcohol. It may be the fixation of something going hand to mouth. There are some really great teas. Not the ol' Lipton, but great tropical, blackberry, My fav is a breakfast name one I got at a hotel when traveling. So smooth and really enjoyable.

I have loss tea with a metal dipper, and that is a plain loose Lipton, and really enjoyable. I do not think it is a green tea,
Katie has honey and likes that. Also a collection when we were in Disney of various types.

It does not give a buzz, but really does feel like a treat.
There are a couple tea rooms up here and we are going to try them out for a treat. Little tea sandwhiches and cookies, sounds fun...
A deversion for me.....

Hugs dear friend, morning will be here soon. Even if you are not on the Inet, someone is and only a click away thinking of you tonight.
Pick out something comfy to sleep in, sockies, and throw blanket, massage your feet with lotion. dim lights, a nice candle or scent.
Take a blanket put it in the dryer with a dryer sheet or scent and warm it up and cuddle.
Think of the life full of caring friends that right now are thinking of you! :grouphug:
Hugs
di

oh oh
 

((( Abbie )))

this sounds horribly familiar. :( sometimes we say things maybe too harshly, but trying to apologize for the harshness one risks throwing the baby out with the bathwater... the meat of the matter can get lost. :(

i feel for you.

hope time brings you some clarity and you can work things out. :hug::hug::hug:

((( Bizi )))

thinking of you. :hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Thank you for your support.
It means alot to me.
I am going to edit my posts now that you have read them.
I canceled plans that i had made witha girl friend for tomorrow so that I can spend the day getting my work caught up and work in the yard.
Dear abby I am so sorry that you went thru that....
Even though you spoke your truth it was not theirs and that can hurt them....I have done the same thing and have apologized for my behavior....
Jeff and I went to see the michael jackson movie...it was great, made me cry but I am so glad they made the movie. How tragic.
I did mange to do the check book before the movie so something is accomplished....geeesh
I just started....I hate this time of the month!
bizi

Dear Beth,
((((HUGS))))

You are going to be fine.
M.

I deleted my farm town account and cafe world accounts on face book, these games were too much to keep up with. I need to be doing more productive activities.
bizi

That's a good step, cut back to just the favorite places.

I was unable to figure out how to delete the accounts but have cut off my easy access to them. they will jsut sit there I guess.
I bull dozed up the entire farm and deleted all the doors on cafe world.
Oh well
this is my favorite place :)
bizi

I can totally relate.;) I tend to do this switch off from sharla to MANIC. It is hard to control but now that I am on meds I do not do it that often. I have done that too Abasaki. It is no fun. Perhaps what you said really had to be said. I know I feel better when I let it all out. It may be hurtful to them but you were hurting too. Both side got it. I hope things work out.

Thats the spirit! GO Bizi!:hug:

Hi there
 

can i just leave you some hugs and wishes?

(((( Beth )))))

~ waves ~ hoping you are feeling better

yes I feel better thanks for asking waves.
you're a sweetie.
This bit of hypo mania is winding down,
thankfully.
bizi

no more posts please.
thank you for your support!