Thinking about Pamster
 

Hi, Pamster,
How are you?
Mari

Hi,
 

I've been thinking about you too, Pam.

It would be good to hear from you.
Do please check in when you are able.

:circlelove:

~ waves ~

we miss you pammy!!!!!!
How are you going sweetie??????
bizi

Hey Mari, waves & Beth, I am doing as well as can be expected. Just kinda down, Jackie's sick and I am wondering if his wisdom isn't impacting his upper right molar because he acted out violently at school last week, hitting one student then scratching another one, then when told to sit down (this happened outside at the playground) he started banging his head and cursing and said, "I'm angry my tooth is hurting!" so I am just afraid he's gonna need surgery. :(

The school pictures came back crappy so with him sick we're gonna miss retakes Monday and end up with NO school pics this year. *Sigh* I just hate this, the ones they took he had a goofy stupid lookinng grin that wasn't a smile, and we sent them back thinking he'd be able to get retakes. But with him having a runny nose and slightly elevated temp it's not gonna happen. So we're gonna end up with a refund when we wanted pics. :(

I am bleeding for my regular cycle and it's NOT nearly as bad s it was before, I had a good dr appt yesterday and got a clean bill of health, and it looks like I can put off getting the hysterectomy at least for now since things are NOT nearly as heavy as they were this time last month. The only bad thing is that I had to cancel my appt for getting the new cast made, it kinda stinks, because I was bleeding. *Sigh* So that's how we've been. It's just been rough. I am grateful it's less heavy this month, but just disappointed I had to cancel my appt for the new casting session. I don't think I am gonna have the c-leg by my birthday after all because I forsee this new vacuum socket failing miserably as the previous two attempts have...and that bothers me, I feel like we're wasting time and effort on something I know will NOT work. :(

I hope you three are doing well, I admit I haven't been posting as much because my outlook is kinda down at the moment, but I will try to check in more often. I think about you all daily, wondering how you're each doing, and hoping that you're doing well. Take care and I'll check in again soon. :)

dear Pammie,
it is ok to not post, post when ever you are up to it, and that doesn't have to mean only when things are going well.
were here good and bad, that is what friends do they support each other when things get rough too.
thank you for updating us. Sorry about jackie being sick and you having to change appointments and please think positively about your leg. attitude is very important!
I am sure it will work out with patience and the guy is really working with you to try to make it all work out.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hiya Pammy
 

Well there you are! :)

It's good to see you even though i am sorry you are going through a rough patch or several at the same time. i hope Jackie feels better soon and that you can get his you can get his tooth sorted so he won't be in pain... how rotten that is. I do feel for him.

It is good news that your menses are less problematic... at least that's one up!

As far as the leg... i agree with Beth... think positive. i remember when you were so excited, and were like i just know this is going to work. and now you are saying you feel it won't. ummm... maybe it's more about how you feel in general... when we don't tend to have hope about much. so maybe take the feelings for what they are - feelings - and try to keep your thoughts grounded in neutral territory: this is a new thing you have not yet tried. it could work. it might not, but it could. there are no guarantees, but hope is certainly well-placed.

*** I WILL BE HOPING FOR YOU, FOR IT TO WORK!!! ***

:) :) :)

You try to take care now, and do pop in when you can. We like to have you here. :heartthrob:

~ waves ~

Pam

Sending you some thoughts. Hoping Jackie is getting better. You really do
need to have a positive attitude for the leg. I will send up thoughts to
you.

Donna:grouphug:

Dear Pam,
Know that we are thinking about you --whether you are posting or not.

Keep trying the new leg. Go through the steps and see what happens. It might all work out like you want it to.

M.

Dear Pam,

I hope hopes that the guy you are working with can find the solution for you. He sounded like he knows how to work out whatever he needs. Be patient with the process.
'Sending you good vibes and good energy.

M.

wishes
 

I hope Jackie is better by now and I want to wish you guys a Happy Thanksgiving, Pam. :heartthrob:

(((HUGS)))

~ waves ~

HI pammy, we worry when we don't hear fromyou.
How are things.
Did you spend thanksgiving with your mother?
Did you get your tooth fixed?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hi everyone,

I am just in such a funk. Too tired to go into much detail, but anyway, I don't think I hav to have the hysterectomy now, its been much better menstrally speaking, pretty close to normal or what normal was before I got thrown out of whack earlier this year.

I have another chip off another tooth now, this is the second from the front, I am going to be missing it before valentine's day I bet. That is depressing, and I have all kinds of anxiety right now. But anyway, we have a lovely time with family this Thanksgiving, it was nice. :)

I just don't feel right emotionally though, I have to reschedule tomorrow's leg man appt, and that has me down a bit too. But it has to happen. Jackie's grandpa gave us an eliptical trainer and Jackie LOVES it! He was on it for almost an hour yesterday and it's probably going to be the piece of equipment that gets the weight off him. :)

So that's all good. I have no motivation for much of anything, I don't know why, but I just have no enthusiasm for anything. I force myself to go through the motions of each day but I feel disconnected, like all I can do is wait for bedtime to escape the failure I feel anymore.

Oh well, I hope you all had a great holiday weekend. I think this trainer thing is gonna help Jackie with his behavior, he's really enjoying using it. Now if only he'll keep using it. :D Lately though his behavior is much better. :)

I am sorry.... you sound depressed.:grouphug:
I am sure that the stress of the holidays coming is not helping.
so glad to hear that jackie is better and is using the equipment good for him!
thank you for checking in.
I msiss your posts
bizi

Pam

Please get to your meds checked on. It sounds like you need to adjust something.

I'm thinking of you.

Dolnna

Pam... good thoughts your way
 

Dear Pam,

It's nice to hear from you and to know you had a nice Thanksgiving.

the elliptical sounds really promising for Jackie! :)

I'm sorry about your tooth. i'm wondering if it's a chip if they can't fill it, they usually do that in the front... :o

I agree that you sound down... could be the stress... maybe a tweak is in order i don't know. When do you next see your pdoc? Can you call and talk to him?

:hug:

~ waves ~

I think I am gonna see if she (Pdoc) can up the wellbutrin NOW instead of later because I just can't shake this feeling of apathy. So no worries, I am calling today. THanks you guys for caring. :)

Pam

Glad to hear you are going to be proactive for your mental health.

Let us know what she says.

Donna

Dear Pam,
'Hoping that you are going to feel stronger soon.
M.

Thanks everyone, I am feeling a little better, things are not looking as bleak as they were when I last posted. It's just so hard this time of year....*Sigh* Jackie is always difficult because he hates school and just wants to stay home, and acts up at school. We still believe he needs a shadow aid and school still refuses to provide one, and have taken to calling me to pick him up because of his bad behavior which is a bad sign. I have picked him up 3 times in as many weeks and it's frustrating. Oh well, we'll manage to get through it somehow. :)

Pam
Stop picking him up for one thing. If they can't handle him then you have
to prove the need for a aide. I realize its hard to say no.

But tell them that if they want you to be paid to pick him up then fine.
Put you on the payroll and you'll stay at school with him.
Otherwise to find a way to work through his problems.

Donna:grouphug:

So after we talked (teacher and I) and she asked for a shadow for him they (the school staff) told her that they need to try other things first and we've YET to get called to 'come get him' again, so we'll see how it goes. Other then that not much happening. Got the cast made and it came out good, get to walk on the new socket monday so we'll see how that goes...

keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Pam
If you go to get him its considered a day out of school as an Suspension.
Which after 10 of these its considered a expulsion, and they have to
remeet to consider a different placement, or even a aide for him.

So you need to start counting the days they send him home. Also realize
that unless its in his IEP plan that they can send him home that is.

Donna

Dear Pam,
I hope that your Monday went well.
M.

Well I started my period and that makes me want t cancel the session I have for today, it's just awful the darn thing couldn't just wait two more days...Oh well, but I stood up on the socket yesterday, second one he made, because the first one wasn't sucking to me at all so he made a second socket. It worked a little bit so this MIGHT be the way I'll end up walking, he said he'd done someone with a stump half the size of mine and they walked using the vacuum socket, so we'll see, I go in today at 1 pm, wish me luck that my period doesn't give us trouble....

hey!
 

Good luck Pam!!!

I hope things go smoothly and that you have good day today, despite the dang hormonal coincidence! ;) I want that socket to work out, and I want you to be able to find out ASAP!

I am also hoping for you that your period is lighter this month.

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

It worked!!! It's really going to work for me! we tried to pull it off like before and it would NOT move or budge! It's great! I go in Friday to get the real socket he's going to get made this week for me so I can take the leg home Friday and work on walking with it. :D The vacuum seal really IS going to work for me! :D

great news, Pam!!!
 

pretty soon Jackie will be rolling out a vid of you dancing a jig for us! :p:D

very happy for you. :):):)

~ waves ~

Thanks waves! I can hardly wait til Friday! I am gonna definitely get some footage of me using the leg and upload it Friday so you all can see me up and walking. It's not the greatest camera but it's makes videos and photo's much easier to upload and deal with then we have had in the past. I am so psyched, this is REALLY going to work! I fully expect to have the bionic knee just after new year's. :D

I am so happy for you and your family!!!!!!!
yippie!!!!!!
bizi:grouphug:

Pamstar
 

Thats so good Pamstar. What a wonderful, wonderful thing to happen. And look at the timing - all sparkly and happy!
Your family will have so much to celebrate.

:hug:

Dear Pam,
This is good news.
Thanks for taking us a long on the journey with you.
M.

Dear Pam,
I hope that Friday goes well for you.
I want you to have a good day. :Heart:

M.

Thanks for the encouragement! I got a call yesterday and their receptionist told me that there was no way they would have the socket ready by today so I needed to come in next week, like Tuesday so that's when I get to go walking again. Kinda stinks, I was so jazzed up for this appt, but oh well, I'd rather that the socket be as good as possible then be substandard because they were rushing you know? Will keep you all posted. :D

Have a great weekend!

Pam

Lets just say its going to be even a more superb socket.

Donna

Dear Pam,
This is going to work out for you. :) :) :)
Enjoy your weekend -- it's only a few more days until Monday.

M.

I am really doing okay, I figured out the auto white balance on the camcorder works better then manual settings...And the results are like awesome! Check out this short video:

http://www.cyber-soup.com/pamster/Jackie.AVI (about 9 megs)

And here is a pic of Jackie from that same session on the camcorder:

http://www.cyber-soup.com/pamster/JackieJazz.jpg

So I hope that things go okay with Jackie this holiday season. He's sleeping now on the recliner, but even so, he's been hyper for the past week. Bouncing off the walls, not sure that he's not just excited about the camcorder-man does he love it! :D

Hope you all have a great weekend too. :D

the cam corder link did not work....sorry
you are a very patient woman...I admire your strength.
bizi

Thanks for speaking up Beth, it was my bad, file extension is AVI not avi, and it's cap sensitive....Hope you get to see it! :D

It is working fine now!:)