Holes in My Sidewalk
 

Chapter One

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost....I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there,
I still fall in...it's a habit...but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is MY fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five

I walk down another street.
_________________

oh alffe,
I have walked down this same street.....
~sigh
bizi:Bang-Head:

I have loved this poem for a long time, you introduced it to me a long time ago....
thank you for posting it

Alffe:

I've seen this before and it is a good one. Thank you for posting it.

befuddled2

We've all done this...walked down the same wrong street..:Sigh:
Just gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.

Hugs for the room.

Thank you, Alffe!


:Thanx:

Bump for Nikko

Thanks Alfie!:circlelove: I think this was on the old forums which remain inacessable.

Thank you and I'm not the only one?
 

I've never seen that poem before but like it, been there.

I'm not the only one that can't get into the old forum? Thought it was only me. It won't let me acctivate it when I resigned up.

Bumping this up for my sweet Bizi....as a reminder that life is short and each day is truly a gift. Kay Jamison reminds us that "it is, what it is".

Self diagnosis is as dangerous as self medication in my humble opinion.
I have known you all of your life and you are harder on yourself than anyone else.

You are a wonderful gal....please stop this over examination of yourself and go do something fun today! You deserve it....really you do.

I love you.

Thank you
 

Thank you for bumping this up Alffe.
Unfortunately how can I do what my therapist and pdoc have asked me to do without reexamining my current behaviors.
My therapist wants me to create a "mood chart" Daily examining how I feel and charting my moods to see patterns...i told her that I was not willing to do this as it could become an obcession for me.
My pdoc wants me to forcast with a calender for the next year in advance all of the times when I could become hypomanic to try to use the geodon as prevention...I suggested this to her and that makes sense, other than vacations I really can't predict this.
She wants this done before I see her in a few weeks....
So they both want me to analyze my life and I am trying to do this.
It does take me awhile and I know that you are worried about this public examination of things ...but for me...this forum is a safe place for me to do this.
thank you for worrying about me.
I love you.
bizi

:hug:

yep i agree...pretty darn wonderful gal. :D

what about using your posts to kinda track your moods? something you could go back later and check if you needed to. not that you would have to post how you feel, but if you did...you coul check.

but i do see how it could be an obession. daily food charts do that too.

That's a great suggestion Curious. Bizi....couldn't it be a one liner...like, I feel depressed today. Or I feel anxious today. Or I feel exhilerated today. Or I am furious today. Or I wish my mom would get the H*** off my forum day. :D



I just hate to see you invest this much time on this....How long can it take to express your feelings? You know I am just worried about you...can't help it..it goes with the terriority. :hug:

another idea.

so you don;'t have to "look" at what you wrote the day or week before...like a journal or a blog...

how about sending yourself an email? set up a hotmail or a yahoo email just for that. at the end of the month...just save them to a file on your pc. if your pdoc wants it...you can send the file in an email. no having to go back and look.

i do kinda question this. i see good and not so good. heck...i'm not biploar and MY moods can change during the day. :eek: ( disclaimer...if anyone EVER tells my hubby i admitted this...i'll never give you a brownie again :p ) so if i would write down i was frustrated and then later i was happy go lucky...would i need to add or change it?

goodness bizi...i don't want to muddle this up. i want you to do what is best for you. :hug:

hehehee alffe...it isn't as easy as bizi just closing the door to her room huh? :hug:

Thank you both!
I wish it were a one liner...it isn't.
Still can't get up in the morning and go to the gym...does that mean I am depressed?
See what I mean....
I am still hypomanic.
I am still being impulsive...stopped home for a quick bite of lunch was running late for a client of mine..and ended up cleaning out the fish tank....:rolleyes: ...
is that a bad thing no...was that something I needed to do then...no...
anyway...I will try not to obcess about all of this and am going to tell my therapist that I am just not going to do the charting thingy...I am just not up to it.
Thank you again for your continued support.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Bizi,
In case this is helpful, I am leaving a link for an online mood chart.
It might be easy for you. If you think that you will obsess over it, then forget about.
I think it even has a feature for the tdoc to check too if you want.

http://www.moodtracker.com/

mari

Dear Bizi,
1) The charting thing is to help you become aware of your moods -- seems like you already are.

2) And it is to help you and the pdoc work out meds -- seems like you already have.

Cripes! What are they after?

mari

I agree - sounds like some heavy duty work, and as far as predicting the moods in advance :confused: darn near impossible, if you ask me....

You ARE one great gal, I agree with that too, BTW ;)

thank you so much Mari,
this looks prettty simple to use.
I really appreciate you.
(((HUGS)))
bizi