Do you feel fear about the new year ?
 

Oh crap I DO :o :mad:

I had a crisis last night ( :rolleyes: AGAIN !)... I had fear all night... I cried and tried to pray all night long... Main poblem: FEAR !!! I felt fear about my health... my loneliness...

And guess what, Im having sentimental relations' problems... :o Seriously, why, I mean WHY, everytime I put my eyes in somebody, everytime I feel motivation for doing things for that people, BANG ! He is married, has a gf, like somebody else... :( :( :( Oh.. my never ending story.... :(

That put me in a nasty mood...

And a new year coming... and, I hate to receive a new year feeling this crap... I have no hope in anything... :(

Grrrr....

WHY WHY WHY ! :mad:

Find some rituals
 

Dear Majo,

You can have hope.
If you don't have hope now, try to hold on to having hope someday in the future.

I'm joking but this can be fun.
A few years ago I was at a New Year's Eve gathering with a woman who borrowed a suitcase and walked around the building three times. It was supposed to bring her good travels.

Seriously, do you do any exercise? Walking saved my life.
Maybe you can find something similar that can save your life.

M.

no fear... just crud
 

and getting cruddier.

i don't feel afraid. just sort of oh no here we go again.

time going forward... me not going forward with it.

stuff just not right today. possibly stuff i say doesn't come across right or is not taken right... or, quite possibly both.

oh and i know what you mean about the guy thing. :( more crud, right there.

sorry for the fear. i hope that passes along with my crud.

all my rituals are out the window this year too it seems.

~ waves ~

hugs to everyone today!
(((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

yes.
 

Hugs :hug: :hug: :hug:

Hugs to all.

M.

Hum... :( Bloody nostalgy... And fear...

I keep asking myself, why I can't manage to be happy... Argh :mad: Is like I always have one dark thing in my life that makes me feel bad, sad, etc...

I'm hating today to be honest... I wish I wasn't... But everything scares me...

It is one of my purposes to start walking everyday next year...

More hugs to everyone !

this is a good goal.
try to make it in smal steps like today I am going to walk. that way it won't be too overwhelming to put that amount of pressure.."I am going to walk everyday this year"
small steps and pat yourself on the back when you get done with your walk start slowly 10 minutes or just around the block what ever works for you.
great new goal ! I should make the same one.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

yeah me too
 

need to start walking that is :o

~ waves ~

walking
 

Dear Majo,
I walked three times this week at the gym. It is wonderful and relaxing -- almost always improves mood.
Some people pick a good time for this -- like first thing in the morning -- depending on what works.
It takes a few weeks to start a new hobby.

Can you get a pedometer?
Some people love them.
http://www.pedometer.com/
Here's an example of one.

M.

The walking is an excellent idea. In addition to the physical and psychological benefits, it's amazing how many nice people you can meet out for a stroll. That's doubly true if you have dogs. A person out walking their dog has already passed a big measure of decency with me.

Like most of us Blue, you tend to let small things cloud all your big accomplishments. In 2009 you earned permission to continue your doctoral research. How many people do you think achieved something as amazing as that? I also seem to remember something about a super cool concert in London. Wow!

Rather than making some New Year's resolution that only stresses you out, how about writing a list of the ten greatest things about you? (If you say you can't think of ten things (slap), we'll do it for you. The hardest part will be paring it down from a thousand.) Put that list by your bed so it's the first thing you see in the morning. Better yet, write it in luminous ink so you can see it in the night when our deepest insecurities seem to grab hold under cover of darkness.

Keeping what is positive and REAL in the forefront of our thoughts can help beat down the negative things we speculate might happen.

Cheers

Blue, about relationships - I think most of us get to have crushes on unavailable men, or someone who is not right. Its always a bummer. But, that is life - often a bummer, and there is nothing that can be done about it. :(
I've been there several times. It happens.

But it is creditable that in spite of emotional disappointments, ill health and feelings of loneliness - you are doing great with your studies. :highfive:

We need coping strategies to deal with the bad times.

Walking is good. Any other interests that may get you to know more people. You enjoy music - the concert you were going to go to in London - are you going with friends?

You've got your research, that will take up a lot of your time.

Just know that infatuations are a part of life and even if unrequited teach you a thing or two. When I had my infatuations I used to consciously spend a lot of time pandering to my vanity, so by the time I realised I was over it, I'd be that much better groomed. My hair would be shinier, skin clearer, body fitter, and as inevitably I would want to know more about the other person's interests, I'd end up knowing something about a subject I never thought I'd be interested in.
The funniest and the most insightful infatuation I had was over a Curate (handsome, unmarried, twenty years older and totally out of my league :wink::wink:), I kid you not - so that by the time I got myself to get over him, I'd developed a real passion for theology and philosophy. Over the years that has stood me in good stead.

Do cheer up! Are your antidepressants working well? May be you should see the pdoc once?

Hello dear friends,

First of all, Ive missed you tons... I miss my internet at home like crazy... :mad: According to my dad, we will be soon able to pay it :rolleyes: In case we dont, at least, Im back to school this monday, and I have internet there... :)

Thank you so much for all your comments, they are ver useful :) and all of you definetely know how to cheer me up :winky: Thanks !

Ive been feeling... extremely lonely and worried... you know what I was thinking the other day, is, everytime I try to be happy something happens, or somebody put a bad face to me that makes me feel what Im doing is bad...
For example, do you remember my trip to london ?? Oh crap... that's a mess... First of all, Im having trouble with the company AGAIN... now they want me to pick my tickets once there... FINE, but, they want my credit card and, I used my aunt's one and, she is not travelling with me... I asked if a copy would be enough, and they "dont know yet" :mad: STRESS !!!!!!!

2.- Awesome, Im getting my money on may... :rolleyes: I need it in january... how sad-pathetic-stressful is that ? Im offering everybody a deal... They give me 2,500 now, and I give them 3,300 in may... BUT, still, nobody has accpeted... :(

Oh well... that's for my trip...

And, my relationships... holly crap... I always fall in love with the wrong person !! :( I feel... saaaaaaaaad.... lonely......... ugly........ etc...

HOCKEY: you are sooooo right, small clouds are huge dark storms for me... I agree... I just cant manage to stop being that way... argh... hate me ! I will go and see my pdoc in january... it is urgent now :o

I will follow your advice... will paste the good things Ive done... is it normal that those things make me "sad" too ? :rolleyes: Like, nostalgic... Oh man... Im a case... :(

I miss you all tons... Leave you thousands of hugs :hug: :hug: :hug:

Thinking about you all !!!

Dear Majo
When you make that list of the ten greatest things about you, post it here if you want.
It will help us too.

M.

I cannot write the list... Simply, because I could find 10 things good about me/my life....

How sad is that ?

Off the top of my head
 

Blue,

Without knowing you too well, here is my list of ten good things about you -

1. You are academically very bright.

2. In spite of your health problems you have the ability to overcome its horrible effects on you mind to continue your studies and achieve your targets. That takes one hell of a strength of purpose to be able to do that.

3. You have interests that you take seriously and work hard at developing them.

4. You are very creative.

5. You are capable of so much love - for people, for animals.

6. You have amazing compassion for those that suffer, even when you don't 'know' them.

7. You are insightful about the nature of being.

8. You always reach out to people even when you yourself are suffering.

9. You are absolutely loved in these forums and we are lucky to have you.

10. you have Faith - in God and in people.

And that is just the start.
:hug:

I got some questions in the mail from the IRS which are bothering me.:eek: We have a CPA looking into this. BF:Noooo: If it's not one thing,it's another.

(((((Isis))))) You are always very friendly, kind, sweet with me !!! :hug: :hug: :hug: aw... thank you !!!

I just woke up in the midle of the night having a panic/fear/obsession attack :( I started to pray like crazy and ended crying... I calmed down a bit and was able to turn on the computer and even better, I got some internet connection... and here I am.... :(

Isis, seriously, you are so sweet...


(((Steve))) "If it's not one thing,it's another. " I feel exactly the same... when am I going to find peace !?

By the way, Im much into reading right now... does anyone can suggest good motivational books ?? Does that can help me finding peace !?

I feel so sick of this feelings... really.

Isn't dwan dyer a good man? to read?
bizi

Blue The Psalms in the Bible may bring you some peace. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Blue,
WHY Didn't I not think of her before....
SARK
she is a wonderfully inspirational woman whom you would love to read her books!!!! I have several of them they are filled with her joy and loving thoughts and she hand writes them and water colors one of her works is in my signature line. go to the book store and look for her books she has many out so you should be able to find one, they maybe even in the library there to check out you can call to find out if they have any her works.
I highly reccomend her for you...you are going to love her!
((((HUGS))))
bizi
http://www.amazon.com/Sark/e/B000APBE0U/ref=sr_tc_2_0

Aw !!! thanks Bizi ! will look for those books !!!

And the Psalms !!! Im reading them online.... :)

:grouphug:

hugs to you blue!
want to chat?
bizi