So on edge...
 

Have 5 dr appts next week in another town. Right now I'm tight, don't want to talk, edgy, don't want disagreements or discussions, only quite! My chest is heavy and pounding, anxiety? Can't wait for the day to end, this terrible feeling to pass. Glad I'm alone for now. :crazy:

WEll we are here for you, we will listen.....
bizi

Hi,
That's a lot of appointments and I can see why you are a little wound up about driving too.


'Sorry about that anxiety.

M.

mafub I hope that you feel better soon. I hope that your chest relaxes,and dread about seeing those doctors disappears. We are here for you to talk to. BF :hug::grouphug::hug:

Dear Mafub,

I hope that you are ok.
M.

Rest is key for me, and last nite I got it. Today, ready to tackle today, going to go out and have have cabbage rolls for lunch, St. Pat's Day! This will be a change, and a distraction for awhile. Wed. I try to get out. It's only for a couple hours, but it refreshes me.

mafub
 

glad you're doing better, and hope you had a great St. Patty's day! :)

http://dl8.glitter-graphics.net/pub/...jbu83bq0i3.jpg

~ waves ~

Wed. outing did it's job. Now, it's Thursday, packing day for trip tomorrow to drs that are 450 mi away! Ich! Will come back next Wed., at least it's not an immediate turn-around trip. Nice thing is, I will stay with my son & family (two g-kids).

I'm over one more panic, anxiety spell. These thing shouldn't have such an impact on me. I am not afraid of docs, or travel, the attacks come automatically, even if nothing is wrong.:Sigh: Meds don't seem to help that part very well, but the severe depression is alleviated, that is most important!

that is a long way from a doctor!
becareful!
HOpe you have good news to share...
enjoy your family!
bizi

flying or driving?
 

Hi, Mafub,
I hope that you have a good trip.
Perhaps some Cognitive Behavior Therapy can work with panic attacks.

Enjoy the grand kids!
M.

http://bestsmileys.com/backgrounds/12.gif

I know what you are saying. I hope that the trip out of town goes well. I hope that the doctors help you,and I hope that your children are doing well. BF:hug::grouphug::hug:

Not doing so well. Will ask my pdoc about ECT. Just can't get a handle on this damaged brain, something has to be moved out of it, numb it, remove it. Will have a pain mgmt doc do a procedure on my neck tomorrow, that will provide relief. Can't wait till this week is over, for more time to pass, maybe things will not be so glum. I do a lot of "hoping" but nothing changes.My children do better without me, when I leave, their life will become less stressed. Thanks for the note. I appreciate it. :hug:

I'm sorry that you feel bad. I'm sure that your children love you. I hope that you get some relief from the pain in your neck area. I know that is hard to live with.

A few people on here have had the ECT treatment. The actress Carrie Fisher recommends this,for it has helped her. Keep hoping. I know that it isn't easy when you have major life struggles over a long period of time. BF:hug::hug::hug:

I am sorry that you are not doing well.
It sounds like you struggle with the beast of depression.
I wish your load was lighter for you.
bizi

Things of a personal nature took the wind out of me. I'm back home and will try to recoup, again. My doc visits went well. The pain doc did fantastic, don't have my neck aggravating me. So I'll take whatever relief afforded me. The mental pain needs help, it is worse than any other pain I've had. Getting some info on ECT from Mayo Clinic sites. In the meantime I'll wait for time to help soothe the mental assaults, there is nothing else I can do. Don't you sometimes feel that time is an enemy? Sorry, I don't want to sound so glum, but you've been kind to me and I feel you truly understand situations. You've had your share, and I hope you are doing well. That would brighten my day!

Dear Mafub,
I'm glad that you had a productive week.
Pain docs are angels.

M.

I know what you mean. Sometimes there is nothing else that you can do but wait. It takes time,and patience. I hope that your faith becomes strong. This keeps me going. This is not your fault. It comes down the family tree,and it's not fair. Hang in there,and you will survive this,and receive comforts during the way. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Yes. To be truthful. There's so much time in which I suffer,and you never know when these emotional storms are going to happen. The therapist try to understand. Some people try to understand,and some people don't want to understand.

(((Time))) At times there is so much of it,but the years still roll by. Time,and Isolation due to mental pain can be the deepest lonelyness. Yes. We can feel like a prisoner in time. I wonder often,what is going on?

Faith,and prayer,and encouragement from my friends,and medication from my doctors helps to keep me going.

Please keep fighting. You can survive these difficulties over a long period of time. It is difficult,but you can do it. BF:hug::hug::hug:

I missed this thread when it started. But some very powerful words.

I believe that this was a great way to start and end your trip.

I can totally understand the thinking your children are better off
without you there. I have my children all living within
5 miles.

But my family of sisters and mom live almost 2 hours away.

So helping my sisters with my mother sometimes isn't easy.

Donna:grouphug:

Thanks, Mari, for keeping in touch. My dr visits were helpful, and my actual driving trip went well, I slept through most of it. Being back "home" always brings a strong uproar in my brain; I'm deep in battle within every time. It has its outward manifestations, which are difficult to control. Being back is sooo good - sigh!

CBT doesn't work for me when I'm hit with the emotional storm, I am not lucid therefore unable. I can only review how CBT would have helped, or DBT or RET. No wise mind for me! Forgiveness may be good for the soul, but it doesn't mend it. If only I could get it from those that matter, especially myself. Time, again, to recoup is my saving grace, that and drugs! Ick... You are so kind, Becky

Dear Becky,

Yes, keep practicing afterwards -- that will work.
Also practice before hand. You already are making progress -- you have the tools. Eventually, you will have what you need.

M.

Dear Becky
 

yes, time is a double-edged sword isn't it... sometimes we seem not to have enough, other times, we wish it would just hurry up and pass.

i have had long depressions and those are the worst. it starts feeling like this is it, this is all there is, and it's never going to end. we forget how anything else feels.

but, it is always episodic. and even if the episode lasts a long time, i have learned to remind myself that it WILL pass. because that's just the way it works!

so you hang in there, things WILL get better. old advice from these forums: take it a day at a time, and if that's too much, an hour at a time, and if that's too much, 15, 5, 1 minute(s) at a time. it feels less overwhelming if you don't place the infinite before yourself, but break it into finite chunks - as small as you need to get through each.

i am glad your pain doc was able to help you - thank goodness, things are hard enough with "just" emotional pain. (little just, BIG pain! :o)

~ waves ~

Yes, again, I found that time is my friend and enemy (double-edged sword). Thanks to a watchful husband, who kept me "distracted" I made it back from the precipice! Distraction does not come, "automatically," to me in those very low places.

Thank, for reminding me that it is an "episode" not a continuous state. You describe it well. I can actually feel you've "been there!" Sorry you have to suffer so...but we know that we're not alone. And that's an understatement!

With the physical pain subsided, things are not so grim any more! Also, that I am back home again where there aren't so many triggers.:hug:

Dear Mafub, http://bestsmileys.com/flowers/1.gif
It is nice to hear from you.
M.

Dear Becky
 

That's great that your husband is helpful. :)

I am glad to hear you are doing better! :hug:

~ waves ~

love! The happy blue sky! That's one to copy and use often!

blue rocks!
 

we have had some pretty blue skies recently. it is nice. it is especially nice to be able to appreciate them, as that has not always been the case.

Mari, i too really like that happy smiling blue sky image you found.

i find blues, especially lighter hues, to be peaceful and soothing. the kinds that lean on turquoise, i find bright and cheery somehow. :)

~ waves ~

Liked your "Blue Skies", took me to "Angels Flying To Close To The Ground!" Of course I saved. Youtube changed format. Guess I'll get used to it.

What famous words did Jesus first utter at the Last Supper?

"Hey, if all you guys want to be in the picture, you've got to scrunch in on this side of the table!"
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/images/smilies/holysheep.gif

youtube
 

lol You crack me up.


Dear Mafub,

I think I found Willie Nelson when I was searching for happy songs with the word "blue." (Call me nuts if you want.)
One of my girlfriends used to listen to him when we were teenagers and now when I listen I have good memories of her.

I feel uncomfortable when one of my places goes through a format change like youtube did. But we'll get used to it as you say. :sigh:

M.

Mari, I did the same thing, especially with the male figure in my life. My dad is "Don't Let the Stars Get In Your Eyes" and my mom was "Don't Fence Me In." My first husband was "Blue Hawaii" by Andy Williams; how's that for BLUE? Didn't end happily ever after, although we almost got remarried and are still friends. One boyfriend was another Willie Nelson song, "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain." Geez, how did you come up with happy, blue songs?:confused:

Wow! I keep doing a certain thing, of which I am uncertain, that knocks me out of this place~~~eieieieiie, anxiety attack! Don't know how I find my way back either, this must have a certain magnetic field I can zone in on intuitively!:winky: