Anxiety-Discovery health channel Sunday 9pm
 

hugs for you di
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Thanks for this heads up. I am a regular to these boards. I have a six-
year old who is struggling with anxiety that is huge. The anxiety forum
doesnt get much traffic so its not of much help. My son and I are currently
seeing a psychologist once a week together. I am starting to see him
next week additionaly on my own. I just want to do the right things so
my son can walk around without all his burdens, KWIM?

If anyone knows of another board that might be helpful in dealing with
this...could you let me know.

Anyway, Thanks for this.

(((soxmom)))
 

a lot of us here (perhaps even most of us) deal with anxiety in one or more forms: chronic generalized anxiety, acute anxiety attacks, panic attacks, social anxiety... i don't know if it anxiety tends to come with the bipolar territory or what! :o

anyway, you are absolutely welcome to post here about your concerns - we may be able to help, we will try anyway. certainly, will be able to relate. :)

:welcome_sign:

so post your sox off! ;) :p

~ waves ~

Thank you Waves!!!!:)

We are all here for each other for support. There are many different diagx here, or we are here for family members,
Welcome and you have a supportive home here, :Wave-Hello::circlelove:

My oldest dd health problems, how I needed support, and my own anxiety/panic that I made my friends here.

My younger dd was about 5 when she started with panic attacks at bed time, much as I did about the time my grandpop passed away. With youngest dd my dad lived with us as he battled cancer and she was pre school about 4 1/2 when he passed away, Dad lived next to us, and with us, his passing was the trigger.
Then she had problems in school bullying, nonsupport from the school system. At the Christmas break during 6th grade she became school phobic,

They home bound 5 hrs the rest of that year and then I enrolled her in cyber school to reduce the stress.
She has full blown panic attacks just lunging out of the dentist chair when he was just looking at a baby tooth hanging.

Finally I got her to go to the eye doctor, a really bad astigmatism and eye site, she was like a deer in head lights. The doc was great showing and explaining demostrating every single move he made.

She needs boosters, and dental work....we are on her schedule. Just like the eye exam.
Her new IEP is Thurs, I do not know how much to share, she had one before and felt like we were saying she was not normal....Huge melt down the last IEP.
Oh, I got so long, but there are many mom's that will find us here and many places on the forum.
The spiritual support forum always has hugs and prayers to go around too,

And here, even when there are no answers, there is a ton of love to run in your tank!

Di

Dear Di,

You have soo much going on! :hug: :hug: :hug:

And those IEPs can be tense even in decent circumstances.

M.

Thanks for all the kind words Di. Im sorry your dd struggles so much.
Big hugs to the both of you.

I know it is hard for me to watch my little one so fearful of everything.
Its like in the old Charlie Brown comics....when he is sitting at Lucy's
Psychiatric Booth and she says "I got it ...You are afraid of everything!!!"
Well, thats my son.:( He is afraid(terrified) of masks, costumes, mechanical
beings. He doesnt want to go to school, doctors, dentist. He wont
go in the bathroom by himself, his room by himself, and to bed by himself.
He is afraid(very) of rain/thunderstorms, strangers, puppet shows(big fear),.

Phew! I just want to do all I can and make no mistakes that could make
it all worse.

We have baseball tonight. He loves it and is really good. But sometimes
his anxiety wont let him join in. Im hoping he will play.

I see the psychologist next week by myself. I have some anxiety myself
and the situation with him is really difficult for me. Hopefully it will help
if I see someone too.:)

Thanks again for you kind welcome Waves and Di.:hug:

Soxmom and Di
 

Dear Soxmom,

wow. i really feel for your kid. i can't imagine living in fear of so many things. :( i hope the psychologist next week can give you some ideas on how to help him. has he always been this anxious/phobic, or do you think there was something that set him off? sending warm thoughts for his baseball tonight. i hope he makes it to play. i hope the psychologist iis helpful to you next week. let us know how that goes, too. :hug:

Dear Di,

sending you good thoughts also for the IEP meeting tomorrow. i hope your daughter takes it ok. i wonder if if it would be helpful to talk with her beforehand about the reason for it and that it is to help her, not to demean her. it sounds like last time she felt it was demeaning or something? :hug:

~ waves ~

Mega thanks, waves, mari and sox, for caring, I know she is not going to be happy if it gets into addressing the issues other then getting through school with accommodations. One thing was not being able to move on with school work while working on the portfolio items...now they lifted that restriction, but out Penna, PSSA testing for 4 days over the last 3 weeks drained her.

Sorry if any of this is repeating, I was sharing with another mom on another forum and my post here may be repeating.....just skip those parts.

Sox, Your very welcome, remember that jingle, and the song's You gotta friend, there are many here like waves says that understand anxiety and panic.You are able to feel free to do what ever helps and have an ear, even if we are not doc's lots of compassion and life experience and HUGS!!!!

:confused:Is it hereditary, the cartoon's, school bully's, I don't know...another forum I read there is a Mom going through the same thing with her dd your son's age.

yep, know that battle, doctors, dentist , the dd was half blind but refused to get the eye exam until she was in 6th grade. Sever astigmatisms, We got through this by my dil and myself getting new glasses and trying on frames. plus we told her, dil would go with usm and no dilation of the eyes.

Now she wants a cavity/baby tooth addressed, without an x-ray? she lunged from the chair; backed away and eyes like saucers for the dentist to just look at the tooth. It was a baby one hanging on....the thing is still in there and she will not address braces for her underbite.....

Bathroom door is ajar and everyone warned to knock or yell to see if she is in there.

She won't sleep in her room, I sleep on the recliner, she sleeps on the air bed in the living room.

Phobic for Robot's;they will take over the world, the Aliens is a huge one right now, even the robots do not get mentioned. Monkey's, will avoid anything with monkey in it, or them, even stuffed animals of monkey sock puppets,

She is school phobic, so we cyber home school, I must be repeating.....I would sit on the bed, dress her, get her into the car, and she could not get through the doors.

She use to take dance and baton, before her sister passed away she even did a solo baton, although she was anxious, she could do it....that was practice run through, rehearsal to the point she felt comfortable. THEN I told her, no matter how much her sister twirled when she was a majorette (still with us at that time) that the girls would all drop batons at some time,. It did not take away from the routine. Her music was Mickey Rumba, great dance moves, and nice first year twirling.
She was so nervous but did great.....Never would do that now.

Oh being away from home.....two years ago we made reservations to go to Phila 2 hrs away for the day and stay a night. She would not leave the house. I had to cancel the two doubles and booked a King for dh and I. Son stayed with her.

Two months later her half sister was in a theater play in NY, she went with us to see the local production.....after wards she wanted home, cried, hyperventilating, wanted us to drive her 6 hrs back home....I was able to get an Internet connection on my Verizon phone, a package that she could surf, watch shows...until she passed out from exhaustion.

This year, is better. she has a suit case packed and so excited to go in June. She is 14 now, the worse years were the early ones when I did not understand and pediatrician and I had to help her, she refused any psych.
Then the bullying escalated it in 6th grade and the loss of her sister....

As she maturates and is now a teen, she addresses it, but sees nothing wrong with living life in a protective bubble. She will never go back to bricks and mortar school,

If a loud noise, bang, she shrieks and screams...ask if it is an Alien outside.

I also have the anxiety, .....Chest tightness short of breath, cry, escalated by the whole control issue with the ex, a lifetime of torment from this inhumane creature. PTSD that is not good for anxiety!

My hugs are there for you, brainstorm with you, and sharing, we will watch you little man grow and grow, The baseball, is a great thing. Don't let him stress about missing the homer, or dropping the ball. Out in Williamsport near us is the little league hall of fame. Tons of great big league players dropped balls and did not make hits, they did have tons of fun trying and ice cream after.

So glad he has not given up on that. My son had a stone my dad gave him,it was rubbed smooth, and it went to every game the boys had to rub it smooth too as my Dad did.
di:grouphug:

Dear Di,


Your poor daughter with that kind of anxiety! :hug: :hug: :hug:

Thank goodness that you are sensitive to her needs and can help her.

M.

I try mari, maybe the IEP pdoc will think I do too much for her and aid her in being reculsive. Am I going to be told I enable her, buy "fighting her battles"
When she asked how long we would be there and the doc got on the phone, I told him that with the last IEP I wanted to avoid a melt down, and would dd be allowed for me to discreetly sit in the room until she felt okay, like the PSSA's we just got through...well no it would affect the standards, she may reply like she thinks I want her too....SO THE DANG KID< says it is okay if I am outside the room near by.......duh, mom wanting to avoid the melt down and ease her in, the doc must think I am hoovering and disabling her from growing.......

I said that to forewarn as her last IEP she was alone the first day and had a melt down the second day. I told her I would go in and talk to the gal we knew doing the IEP and gifted testing.She wanted to know she was not being tested to see if she had MH issues,,,,she feels she is okay, it is the rest of society, the doctors, the school staff....etc. Thank goodness she built a report with the staff at cyber school last week. It was informal, they talked as if she was an adult, not childish to her.

After the panic attack we were able to share with dd how she was doing math problems that were college level and we got the answer wrong and she got it correct.
Shared how the day before test, the bell curve, the school psyc showed dd where her own mark on the curve was, and were dd was at the far upper end...
This brought a smile]


Maybe that is part of it, the gifted kids have an highly creative imagination and create scenarios that instill fear that is not imminent or real threat?

I hope I am not being an enabler? I try to balance it, but let her know that I will never place her in a position that she does not feel comfortable. That we can always work things out.
But I can't work them out for myself?????/

Big hugs g'night Mari, whenever it is we finally feel that cool pillow under our heads.
di

Dear Di,
It does not sound like you are enabler.
You are protecting her.
THat is good.
M.

Hugs to you Di.......I dont think you are an enabler. I used to think of
myself that way. I talked to the Psychologist about it because I thought
maybe my voluteering in the classroom frequently was a crutch for my son.
He usually does better going when he knows I am going in.

The doc told me it was okay that first thing is to get him there anyway
possible...that way he can experience and realize that things are going to
be okay. That worked great until we had an unscheduled visit by a
huge "chinese dragon" during math. My son freaked and its been heck
getting him to school ever since. He positions his chair and body so
he can watch the door. Breaks my heart.

Big strong hugs to all the moms with children with anxiety and also gentle
hugs to those who experience the anxiety themselves.:hug::hug:

Thanks for remindng me the difference from enabling and supporting.

I agree sox it takes what ever we have to get them to school;I remember the day it was not going to happen anymore. I did all I could do.

I woud suggest to you that an observer be placed in your son's classroom to document this. and any other trigges your son may display "protective mode"

I remember a local mom calling about the after school program, would we have tutoring, etc. It ended up that the son needed quiet time with out stimulation, instead of using this time to help him check for books to take home, assignmets, chill out time to maybe give help with homework, they just put him in a room alone the last period. THat was there IME. for him.
DUH all they did, was isolate the poor kiddo. So I recommended a child advocate that I used and she was able to have he son get in the system for the best support.

I would say your son would not want an open TSS any more then my dd did. But,the observer, they pick up a lot and a great one gives a heads up on what is going on,

Do you have a charter school in your area"? Maybe a complete change of schools may help before he is school phobic.

DD did really well today for the IME. I only wish this Pdoc was the first experience we had with the system for her....The first one, wanted to put her in patient and force medication!!!!

This doc, I knew worked with all age kids and picked up on personality immediatly. DD actually said "He was not so bad" WOW....She will consider seeing him. SHe did super on the testing completed acuratly in half the time. Her retention was super. Made the testers job easy.

She held in tinkling though as I knw she would, but finally asked to go.

Tonight, something happened on her email,. and she had a pop up, and closed them through the task end box.
She wanted me to sleep next to her, she thought her email account was hacked and spam sent from it.
She was afraid the FBI would come to our door. She watched that door like your son for the dragon.....

I finally told her that I had my account hacked and spam sent, AOL closed the account for me to reset my password when they noted 10, 000 mails being sent..

No FBI came. I even told her I would take the blame saying I was opening links for work, trying to search out addresses and new phone no. which I was doing at the time.

She is asleep now.....next to me on the blow up bed, Just a few inches away.

Sox. it was such an improve,emt since 2008, but even though, tonight she was filled with the fear. For her own dragon. Maybe we all have our Symbolic dragons we want out of our life.

But it will get better. if the school does not help aggressivly though it may get worse first.

Let me know if you need to consider a cyber school for a year or two and want to check into the structure. I can walk you through the types.
See if there is a charter also.

Our cyber school is tuition free. the money tht would go to the district goes o the cyber school instead. We have all the materials, the laptop, hard copy books., live lessons, and great support.

Hugs to all sleep tite,
Di:grouphug:
Bu