Im mad, sad and sick :(
 

I'm mad like hell. I have never liked my co-workers but I try just to ignore them, do my things while I'm at the lab and that's it, but every day it only gets harder...
Yesterday for example, I mean, I don't even know if it's true because I don't know anymore who should I trust, but a girl told another one wants my project and that she will talk to our boss so she can tell her what part of my project she can do...
I MEAN ! That project is mine, I have spend time and effort on getting the cells with friends in other labs, I have been working on sundays if necessary to rescue my cells from death etc... I mean, perhaps you remember that at the beginning my boss didn't even liked the idea of working with nervous system things because we didn't have experience or even cells, and I had to convinve her and I have been learning alone basically how to treat a neuron because nobody there knows anything about them there !!! And now, everybody wants my cells and my project... I find it unfair... I don't know if I'm sounding selfish or what, but... I mean :(
I know science is like this and we have to work together but... Still... It's always the same thing with this girl and, everybody in the lab was actually laughing at me because she always have my project at the end (that happened with my previous project). Not to mention she works horribly... She is dirt and doesn't really care...

Blah, this is what I needed... My fibro is killing me... My back and wrists hurt like hell now... I'm mad and sad...

When Am I going to have peace ??

:(

Dear MaJo

i am sorry you have to put up with this nonsense from your coworkers. it sounds as though you're smart and have original ideas.

science and especially research is a cut-throat arena in which to work. all you can do is keep on doing what you do best, keep trying, keep doing it well. you won't work in this lab forever. you will have other opportunities. you will find people who do appreciate you and who are fair with you. but you will also continue to run into people that are unfair because they are out there. you need to carry on in spite of them. you owe it to yourself.

some people just make trouble for others by lying and stuff. i have run into this at work, but i never did figure out a good strategy to deal with it. try to protect your work the best you can is all i can say. i never liked the 'give them a taste of their own medicine' approach - some people can do that. only you can decide if you can. i could not, because then i would not be able to live with myself for acting that way, you know?

on one occasion someone was making a lot of trouble at work - she was incompetent in many ways but she got other people to help her - different people so they wouldn't realize what was going on. i realized because i was supervising her, and people complained to me, but i was not her direct manager so i had no power to do anything about it. she badmouthed me, a colleague of mine (who had my same position but supervised different projects than i did), several coworkers... etc.

well you know what, i don't know if anybody "listened" to me when i complained, but ultimately? her position got cut. so she was out. and that was that. and i have to think that her making problems with everyone and perhaps especially me, since she was mostly assigned to my projects, had something to do with it. she shot herself in the foot. which reminds me of something...

i'll tell you what someone told me at the time, maybe it will help you: if she insists, give her enough rope to hang herself with. this means that if she wants to be involved in your project, and your boss lets her - work with her, but give her minimal information and do not help her in any way that is not specifically a responsibility of yours. you said she works horribly, and if this work is as delicate as it sounds, her incompetence will show.

so just be true to yourself. another thing is to try to cultivate the ability detach from work politics. you need a mental break from it. it is hard to do, but it is essential to sanity in these situations.

:hug::hug::hug:

i hope your boss has more insight this time and that this woman doesn't get a slice of your project.

~ waves ~

(((((waves)))))

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my "traumas" and, more importantly, thank you very, very much for your lovely post...

It helped me a lot , it is very wise and after reading it, I feel stronger :)

I love you so much. :hug:

i am glad that you feel a bit better! :)

hang in there dear one! :hug:

~ waves ~

hang in there blue....keep doing the good work that you are doing!
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Awwww (((((Deja))))), (((((waves))))) and (((((Bizi)))))

Thanks a lot !!! I dont know what I would do without you !!!

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

Blue

I know you can handle what ever is given your way. I also believe those
higher up will know if its you or someone else.

SO just really try to pay attention and do your best work.

Donna:grouphug:

Waves has good suggestions here
 

Dear Majo,

Waves is right. Protect your work.

Do you have a mentor? Do you have someone else with more experience that will answer questions for you?

M.

(((Donna))), (((Mari))), (((Deja)))

I feel terribly blessed for having you... I mean, everytime I feel everything is lost, I come here and you always have right advices for me, plus you always make me feel better... aw... :hug: Dont know how could I thank you and God for sending me people like you.

You my angels !!

I dont have a mentor... my mentor is actually my boss which I love, but, dont know, she is too generous and sometimes I think she needs to be more...hum...strict with some of the girls at the lab....

I will follow your advices... I will protect my work like a elephant mom and will wait until things "fall down because of it´s own weight"...
She is pathetic :mad:

Thank you girls. Love ya as you cant imagine.

I went to starbucks... :stirthepot:

I just hate sundays... dont know, make me feel... stressed !!! :mad:

awwww. :(

i love starbucks. i wish i could have gone with you.

it is 11.05 pm here - almost monday. ;)

:hug:

~ waves ~

Venting. Sorry.
 

This problem strikes me again...

I need to ask God to forgive me for having these feelings... but I hate that girl... she is lazy, she steals all my things, she... copy everything I say, do, write... Cant stand her... she is rude with everybody but then put her nasty smile to our boss....

I heard she was planning to move to another lab, BUT no ! she is staying at least for 2 more years !!! :( :mad:

Ive feeling terrible sad and mad all day... I feel.. frustrated ? defeated ?? dont even know how to explain it... Gosh....

Im... afraid ? scared for my future !? :(

I dont know how I will survive...

And of course my cells died and dont know what I will do know... :mad:

Sometimes I really wish I could live in my own world... without these girls around...

:mad:

Worried...

i'm sorry Majo. :hug:

i know how it sucks having sneaky coworkers. :(

can you get more cells to culture? do you have to order them?

:hug:

~ waves ~

:(:(:( Im having a nasty evening... bbbuuuu :(


I dont know what to do...


About the cells, I cant order more because we dont have more money... (for the rest of the year ! :eek: )
So, dont know... really dont know... I need them...

:hug::hug::hug:

sending you some creative brainpower and ...

hoping you can use it better than i seem to be doing lately :rolleyes::D:eek:

note that i said brain power and not brain CELLS ... hee hee... they would end up in a petri dish (or whatever you grow cells in). YIKES :eek: scary thought! ... a ~ waves ~ culture? :D

seriously. there has to be something you can do. this can't be the first project where organic material has... ehhh... 'spoiled.' what have others done in the past? have you talked to your boss yet - will she be helpful do you think?

sending you good vibes and some hugs too. :hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Thank you so much for your post dear waves :hug:

You always make me smile, laugh and remember what are important things in life, like, friends, love... not just pathetic school/work, money and nasty co-workers you know... Thanks for that.

Day is not looking goo in any aspect... it's raining, Im alone in the lab, nobody came to work, cells died yeah... Boss went to do some business... and I need to answer her phone... I just feel like crying like a rat here...

Told my main boss about cells... she told me to use another cell line... now I need to, like, start over... :(

A waves culture... oh... that would be lovely.. I bet the would "spit" lovely red hearts to the medium... :D

:hug:

Dear Majo,
Is the main boss on top of things better than your other boss?
It's ok to start over and trying again.

I think that you can get a tougher attitude about competition in the lab. You can learn to take it less personally when someone in the lab is awful and mean and all that. I'm not saying it is easy -- I'm saying that it is possible to get a tougher skin about others around you.

Imagine that you are getting lots of hugs and compliments from us here.
We are working together with you. :Heart: :Heart: :Heart:

M.

Growl, even Bark... just don't bite!
 

Dear Majo
 

DejaVu is suggesting that you growl at her.
Can you do that?

Tell her to back off.
Tell her to stay away from your data.

You need to protect your work and yourself.


M.

Thank you Mari and Deja for your posts and more importantly, your support, your posts were very touching :hug: :grouphug: I really appreciate them a lot.

I protect my things (mi info, my cells, my stuff, etc...) the best I can... I lock everything that can be locked and hide everything that can be hidden, BUT, the bad part is, we share the hood where we work, we put all our cells together at the same place, we share material etc :mad: :mad: :mad:
About the info, what makes me mad, is, that precisly because she is pathetic, our boss give her my papers to use as example.... but instead, she copy everything exactly like mine !!! :mad:

She is a truly parasite... One thing I really hate ism for example, she didnt have interest in "anything" and, when I started to talk about nervous system and conviced my boss to let me work on that, she started to like it too... how convenient !!! :mad: See my point ?? I hate those attitudes...

I just try to ingnore everything that surrounds me while Im there... they put music too loud when I try to study, they eat all the time instead of working... I try to keep working thinking in my goals but argh, this people is really annoying... :mad:

Im scared to death to start working with a new cell line because the ones that died had the receptor I want to study, and if these new ones dont have it... oh well, there will come more problems... :(
And, I feel so frustrated because I dont know why they died and, more sadly, I dont know why I cant thaw a new vial !! they are all died !! Ive read and asked in multiple forums and nobody knows... :rolleyes:

Ggggrrrrr....

Thank you for your support. Just, aw, without you Im nothing (in case you didnt know that before).

:grouphug:

Dear Majo,


Have talk with the boss about her using your papers. I think that letting the boss know your concerns is appropriate.

She has latched onto you. Can you ask the boss to move you so that you are not sharing the same hood?

This is the nature of your kind of work I think. Failure, Failure and then success. Then failure, failure and then the next success.
Science takes special people like you. So keep working and keep trying.
The world of science needs you.

M.

Hi Blue and Mari! :grouphug:

Blue, I am sorry! This co-worker is a problem.:( Wowzer! :eek:

The negative energy from the situation is potentially compromising the cells.
(Remember some of the quantum physics. Energy is being generated and the cells are rather fragile.)

Since the cells respond to remote postive energy, like prayer, why not to hostility/anxiety/resentment/dishonesty/sadness/frustration/anger-- in the same lab? (See Larry Dossey for the energy studies of prayer on cells in petri dishes -- in labs.)

If I was a "boss" at the lab and cell lines kept failing and we did not know why, I would take a look at the energy in the lab. (I would take a look at the energy in the lab anyway. It is important. If cell lines are failing, I'd take yet another look at the interactions and overall feelings in lab staff interactions.)

If you look at the science behind this, and I know you know it.... it is not a far reach to think this may be a problem... even for your cell lines. These emotions and energies have an effect upon organisms... they are very upsetting to more complex organisms! How upsetting are they to single cells?

Do you think strong emotions ever harm cells..and how about nervous system cells? How about the atrophied areas of any brain that has been traumatized or overly stressed? Isn't there a cellular impact? This is not exactly the correct correlation to draw... as stress homones are being cranked up by the organism. So...let's stick with the energy charge and the physics... I know you know what I am saying and i know we cannot rule out the impact of the interpersonal tension as a force possibly causing some issues of health for the cells.:eek:

What if the negative energy generated by the dynamics is killing of your cell line? It may be, at least, exacting a cellular injury?

Think there's any potential validity to this for your lab, etc.?:Scratch-Head:

By the way, Mari is great! :D
I like what she has to say and I can tell she really cares about YOU, Blue!:Heart:
She is a peach! I am so glad you have her on your team of angels!!!!:D

You are a peach. too! :hug:

Hugs all around!:grouphug:

~DejaVu

So..if this is a consideration, don't growl! Not in the lab anyway! :eek:
Yet, if this is a consideration, it has to be resolved! :hug:
Your cell lines need to thrive!
You need to thrive!:D
:hug:
~DejaVu

Dear DejaVu
 

Thanks for sending me to look up Larry Dossey.

Dear Majo,
Here is a link about petri dishes from Larry Dossey:
http://www.plim.org/PrayerDeb.htm


At my work place I have prayed and asked for positive energy.

Also, it helps to clean the lab of debris and assorted junk that piles up. Being clean and organized helps the environment work with you.

M.

very interesting thoughts Deja... thank you :)

i must be full of negative energy because my brain cells hurt. (headache.) i hope they are not dying up in there. :D

seriously, i have seen related experiments in a tv documentary. i don't remember the exact details but it had to do with water being affected by emotions. one experiement was with getting rice to ferment in water. there were three vats with rice and water. only the vat with the water that was talked to lovingly daily fermented. the one that was ignored rotted. (i forget what the deal was with the other vat but i believe it was some form of hostile treatment, and it didn't ferment.)

ok but putting the 'energy' theory down for a moment.

Majo it struck me when you said you can't thaw another vial because they are all dead. is it possible the cells were weak at origin (you know 'defective'), or mishandled during transport? so that when they got to you they were already weak? if there is any reason to think so... maybe the supplier will replace them?

next idea, same line of thinking: what about your fridge/freezer - is there anything equally sensitive in there? is there a thermometer in it? could they have defrosted and refrozen by accident or due to refrigeration malfunction (temp fluctuations)? if this is the case, perhaps the first batch you cultured weren't dead only because they got thawed quickly enough, but they might have already been weak if stored for even a short time before being thawed... i dunno... i'm just throwing things out there.

i agree you should talk to your boss about her giving this girl your stuff.

as far as her 'copying' your interests... can you use that to your advantage? because if she shows interest in something that you have been persuasive about, it would seem (to anyone and everyone) that you are leading. that puts YOU in a dominant position. isn't it "nice" that YOU were able to "help" her find her way... :cool::p

:hug:

~ waves ~

First of all, let me thank you so much for all your support, kindeness and for helping me think how to solve this nasty and unconfortable situation.... :grouphug:

I really want to talk to my boss about me being unconfortable, I just dont know when and how to say it... and, I dont want my boss to think Im being selfish, arrogant, or overreacting... you know... :(

Heck Deja, you might be right :eek: But while I think about it, I remember I froze the cells while I was feeling full of good energy and happy.. so, in theory, they are frozen "happy" and should be healthy, so, when thawing them, they should be... argh, dont know anymore...
Oh, and waves, see ? I froze the cells I now want to thaw... and according to me, they were healthy and normal when I froze them, so, I should expect them to thaw just fine, but not... :mad: :(
We have them in liquid nitrogen, which in theory, is stable all the time talking about temperature.... :rolleyes:

I do have my saints and stuff in my place... I pray a lot.... I just... dont know... Ive always thought science/faith/energy go hand to hand, but... argh, sometimes I simply dont know what's going on ! everything just fail sometimes... :( puff.... I really pray all this fails will be follow by a prompt success...

I feel stressed... I need to get me in a class for the next semester the next week, plus on tuesday I have my english test... this big test I need to pass to proove I "posses the english language" :rolleyes: I need to pass it... becauuuusssseeee.... I want to go to Memphis for at least 6 months... Oh well... I just hope not to get all the tenses and verbs messed up !!! And what really scares me is, the auditive part when I have to listen to a conversation and reply !!! oh my God... :( stress, stress and stress....

Im gonna go and read more about the theory of the petri dish now, thanks MAri and Deja... :grouphug:

"as far as her 'copying' your interests... can you use that to your advantage? because if she shows interest in something that you have been persuasive about, it would seem (to anyone and everyone) that you are leading. that puts YOU in a dominant position. isn't it "nice" that YOU were able to "help" her find her way..." <-- Aw waves !!! :D That made my day... seriously... you changed my way of seeing things... Sometimes is really annoying, but... oh... :cool:

:eek: i would not say that you are uncomfortable to your boss. it won't hurt your colleague, but it could hurt you.

i do know - these are very real concerns. that is why whatever you say to your boss must be fact/event related. since the boss is giving her your papers, you could tell her "i would like to request that you not give <mean_colleague> access to my papers because <demonstrable reason>.

you said she copies right? plagiarism is grounds for expulsion in some universities. it is a big deal. and it becomes a demonstrable reason if you can produce 2 works, one yours, where hers shows material from yours. if you can show these to your boss, that could be helpful. if not, i would just tell your boss:

- that you have good reason to believe her use of your work is not limited to guidance but that she then uses your ideas for academic purposes, it is her (bosses) prerogative if this is acceptable and maybe other students would be amenable, but YOU do not wish for YOUR WORK to be a part of this process.

present as calmly and as rationally as you possibly can. showing emotion is dangerous when trying to assert yourself. sadness will imply vulnerability - weaken your position, laughter - nervousness/frivolity - weakens position, anger is sometimes accepted from men, but less so from women... can be viewed as 'hysterical/overreacting etc.'

speak with a lower-pitched voice - it will help you come across as more assertive.

:hug:

~ waves ~

Dear Majo,
 

Waves is right.
Your boss might not care that she is copying.

When you do talk to your boss about the copying, talk only about that.
Don't mention all the other stuff that bugs you.

I don't know what you mean by copying because I don't work in science.
Isn't there an expectation that people working in a lab present findings / results as a group? Is this other person trying to present stuff as hers alone?
Is that what the problem is?

M.

It takes a village! That be us!
 

:DHi Blue, Mari and Waves! :grouphug:

All great points!:D
The lab environment and any impact is truly mutifactorial.
Mari has mentioned controlling the environment in other ways, as this, too, had an effect upon subtle energies, in many ways!

Blue, when talking about your frame of mind when freezing cells, that is one factor only. It is one we were thinking about, yet still only one of many.
Sweetie, it won't help to blame yourself in any way. We don't move forward when blaming. It's unproductive. :winky:

This is one of your specialties: thinking of the various factors potentially influencing the cells and go from there... thinking through them..or even testing a potentially influential factor.

In thinking a bit about subtle energies, also wondering if there is any "stray" electriciy, any fields too strong, etc.? I hope someone checks this stuff out on a regular basis--- simply taking readings to be sure nothing has gone astray with electricity.

So according to Dossey and now others (others have replicated his work), might you strengthen cells by intending them well, supplying them with some form of positive energy? This is an active role toward them, as opposed to a neutral role and just hoping everything works out for them. This would be something more focused and definitley positive. (It is intentional.)

Wow Blue.... you have lots on your plate! :hug:
You have good friends here! :D
I have met Mari and Waves on this thread!:D
They are each great people! Like you, Blue!
There are so many caring about you-- Lonely1, and the SOS gang, too!

I know it is Sunday and I know Suinday can be a difficult day for you, so.... I am intending you are surrounded with loving, positive, joyous, peaceful, regenerating energy! :hug:
Let's also intend that for Mari and waves, too! :winky:
Thanks to all of you for sharing with me! :)
It's truly a pleasure!
((((((( Blue, Mari and Waves -- for a wonderful day!)))))))))

Many Blessings to All!
~DejaVu

Today I just feel dead... defeated...

I woke up feeling sad and guilty again for having my pathetic eye surgery... :(

I feel stressed but mostly... tired... I just want to... quit !!! :(

Blah...

I feel like taking sleeping pills so I can sleep for the next... hum... 96 hours at least !?

:(

:grouphug:

Hope you are wwwaaaaaayyyyyy better than me.

Dear Majo, :hug: :hug: :hug:
I hope you feel better.
Stay strong.

M.

(((((HUGS))))))
biiz

you've come a loooong way Blue. remember that.

and you did it, little by little.

stay with doing little by little, and you will go far, again.

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

I am hoping you feel some better today.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Im just surviving (or trying to) dear friends...

Had a pathetic day at the lab... I almost couldnt contain myself and almost broke crying in front of my boss !! :eek: Literally got out running from there... :(

Tomorrow is my english exam... If I want to go to the U.S next year, I need to pass this exam...
If you have some time tomorrow, please think and pray for me... Thank you so much in advance :hug: :grouphug:

Dear Majo, :hug:
I;m sorry you had a rough day. :hug:
'Sending lots of good vibes for your test. :hug:

M.

I am sending good English thoughts your way....
good luck iwth this test!
You speak so well here...I think you will do fine!
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi