new therapist and loss
 

I finally did it after eight or nine years. i switched psychiatrists from a psychiatrist i treasured. i now have a female one. She is gentle and seems very nice and empathic, She wants me to see her twice a month. I don't have to see a social worker since I already have a case worker. I didn't show my usual sense of humor during the hour interview. I felt quite normal. I think i am sort of in shock. I guess i will see my former psychiatrist one more time. I will ask him if there is any way if I need to I might make an appointment to see him. I saw him for so long and grew so fond of him. I see my social worker on tuesday and will tell her.
I am getting so scared about getting the doggie on Saturday. I am thinking of everything that can go wrong. I had two littermates and raised them all by myself. I can't even decide how i am going to potty train him and if i am going to crate him at night.
One of my cats is eating but not eating that much. I am also trying to train them to use the table for when the dog comes. Abby is using the table but Yuki who isn't eating that much isn't using the table. I don't know what to do...I don't know about her intelligence or her stubborness.
bobby

Dear Bobby,
A new pdoc is such a big change. And you did fine! I'm glad that the two of you did well.
The cat is smart enough to adjust to a dog. Don't worry. Both cats will manage.

How old is the new dog? Once you see him you will be less anxious I think.

M.

the new dog will be four months when i get him. he has lived in a crate and is not paper trained. my neighbor lent me a nice crate but i never used a crate on morgy and hammy. i can't figure out if i will leave him in a crate just when i leave during the day or at night too. the trouble is at night i usually get up in the middle of the night so i think that would disturb the dog.
Yuki still hasn't eaten today. She drank water. I will probably take her to the Humane society next week to see if they can figure out why she is eating so little.i am so scared. I am also terrified about money. My friend said she was cutting the amount of money she is giiving me because i got the dog but she hasn't told me how much. that has put so much additional painful stress on me
bobby

Dear Bobby,

I don't understand your friend. I guess she can set her own conditions for helping you. Even so, she knows that the docs recommend a dog for you and that you think the dog is a good idea. She could trust your judgement and your own needs right now. Strange.

I don't know uch about crating dogs. If the dog is already crate trained I can see a reason to keep him in the crate. Is is possible to keep a dog in the crate during the day but not at night? I don't know how it works because I have never had a dog except for outside dogs when I was a child.

As far as night time, he will quickly become accustomed to your habits and schedule and do fine.


M.

I think that you are right bobby about crating him when you are gone and a night. that way you can suppurvise him while you are there.
I don't understand your friend either.
sigh
bizi
(((((HUGS))))):hug:

I think she thought that if i could afford a dog I could afford to pay my rent> I told her that three doctors told me i should get a dog...or were wholeheartedly for my getting a dog. I told her he was for my survival. She just seemed to get more angry. She knows i am leaving her everything in my will. That will not change.
she also knows how badly I do with stress and right now am i suffering. It is my own fault but i felt it was for my survival. I have been so depressed for the past four months besides my usual depression.

i just went down to get nutra cal for yuki and then looked at the mail. She sent me a check from the same amount as before.. I wonder if it was a mistake. I am in shock
bobby

just came back from a vet. all the vet could find was a bad tooth and inflamed gums.he gave her a big shot of antibiotics and i don't have to give her anything...he said i should notice a change in a couple of days
bobby -what a relief

Dear Bobby,
Poor Yuki. That's good that you were able to get her to the vet. She'll be better soon.
Maybe your friend is going to work out her issues and be ok with the dog at some point.


M.

Dear Bobby,

perhaps since you went ahead with the dog in spite of the financial hurdle, your friend is starting to realize it is a do or die thing for you, even if she doesn't really get it. in which case, she really is trusting your judgement.

i am so glad Yuki is going to be ok!!! good job on getting her to the vet so quick!

don't worry about the cats - i am sure they will be ok with the puppy. i honestly suspect this puppy will have more to fear from two adult, experienced, world-wise cats than vice versa! :p you will figure out the crate schedule. just play it by feel after you - and the cats - meet him. ;) i know you can do this, and you will do great. :)

oh, congratulations on the new pdoc - glad that went well. :) i do think it is a good idea to see if Dr. M. will see you on occasion if need be.

love

~ waves ~

good going bobby.
I am so excited for you with the new puppy on its was!!!!
do you have a digital camera so we can see pictures?
bizi

yes i do but have to figure out how to use it. i am getting the puppy today instead of saturday
i am wide awake with excitement and all the happenings of thursday
bobby

thanks for the encouragement and viewpoint. i hope you are right.
love
bobby

luc or niko, luc or niko??????:)

right now it is luc but i will meet him late this afternoon and maybe his personality will make me change my mind. he has been crated for so long that i don't know how that will affect his personality. I am worried about that. I CAN'T SLEEP
Bobby

puppy arrives today!
 

Dear Bobby,
You and the puppy will be together by the afternoon! You've thought about this and talked about it and now you have a new family member. The puppy will bring you job and comfort. :)

You'll be fine. Because you spend a lot of time at home, the dog will observe you and quickly learn to follow your lead regarding your schedule.

He's so young that he can adjust to being out of the crate if that is what you want. He's going to be ok because you are taking care of him.

M.

thank you for all your positive thoughts...i think you made a freudian slip and wrote job when you meant joy but probaby meant job too lol...
right now i am reading about too much crate training but it sounds fixable.
I can't wait to see the kitty cats reaction. I am sure Yuki remembers Hammy and Morgy....I got Abby right after Hammy died. I think she came from a home that had a dog....I wish I could sleepl.....I am listening to Josh Groban(sp) he has such a beautiful soothing voice
bobby

i am so excited for you bobby. :trampoline:

:D:D:D

~ waves ~

i am getting more and more excited l....i picked up books off the floor and am throwing out some books i haven't read
will probably thrown out more books
love
bobby

WEll?????
Has he arrived????
LUC where are you?????
here boy....
bizi:D

rofl :D:D

good job. i wish i had your ability to throw things out - maybe not that, but just get rid of things in any way at all! :eek: my main method of damage control is not to acquire things any more. but that kinda sucks sometimes.:o:rolleyes:

i hope you are getting acquainted with the puppy right now. :)

love

~ waves ~

this is luc

another one of luc
so far eveything has been spectacular.he used the wee wee pads last night. i forgot to close the bathroom this one and he had one huge poop...oh well..but still incredible. he is chasing abby and he is sniffing yuki. i immediately fell in love with him when after an eight hour drive he came to me and started showering me with kisses....what a wonderful nature.
he made me laugh so much yesterday
i am in love
bobby

Such a beautiful dog
 

Dear Bobby,

Look at that face. :)
He is so beautiful!

You and he are going to be amazing together.

M.

thank you mari
he also has such a beautiful nature
i am blessed
i just hope he doesn't like to bark or have separation anxiety
bobby

He is beautiful!!!!!
I am so happy for you!!!!!!
bizi:)

thank you so much...he is still sleeping and I WANT TO PLAY
bobby

luc is adorable bobby!!!! :)

and he got you to figure out the camera! woohoo! doggie therapy in action already! :D

i hope you guys are all having a grand ole time...

love
~ waves ~

he is so wonderful. his markings are fantastic...he almost looks like his head is a charcoal sketch.
my depression has returned slightly. i guess it was magical thinking that if i got a doggie it would all disappear....sh#t
love
bobby

do you think this feeling down now could come as a reaction after all the excitement and anticipation? i am hoping the depression won't be as bad, at least not chronically so. the doggie won't do magic or make you not bipolar but i do think he will get you moving a bit more, and improve your quality of life overall. i honestly believe that is inevitable. ;)

love

~ waves ~

I think you are right. Yesterday I felt much better even though Luc finally had another accident. He has been so good in that department that I was wondering if he had come trained. He is such a dollface and it is fascinating to watch the interaction between the kitty cats and him....sometimes too fascinating.....today when i go to my therapist's i am going to crate him because of them. yesterday i think he started munching on an antique woman's chinese painter's table used as a coffee table...he has good taste :-)
i went off my diet a couple of days ago and am disgusted with myself and frightened. i need to lose weight to walk luc and to get healthier. i need to be around for him. i am feeling very selfish that my anxiety is making me eat and i am having trouble sticking to the Ornish Diet.
today is also my last day with my therapist since i am switching clinics.
also a friend from the building came down yesterday to meet luc and told me he and some friends are working on rescuing 170 beagles! and some monkeys from a lab and one friend is paying expenses and I think they already talked to the judge. Was I outraged at the lab and impressed with him. He is doing so much good for animals and he is ALLERGIC. OF course Abby really loved him and wouldn't let him alone. After the initial couple of minutes Luc was his best friend
bobby

Dear Bobby,

Luc will make things better for you but he is still quite a bit to adjust to. --- so take it easy on yourself. You will get back on your food plan.
Things like diets do not have to be 100% all the time. You can do the best you can on the days you can and then get better at your commitment as you go along.

I think I would enjoy watching him interact with the cats.


M.

i just bought a lot of wild rice which i love and which i guess is good for the diet....luc was very good when i left him alone for three hours my neighbor reported. he didnt make any noise ....he was crated. he did have a couple of accidents before and one after but then went near paper next time. yippee.
my friend came over and we had a really nice time.
i said good bye to my therapist and it went well..she said if it doesn't work out i can always come back. that was reassuring.
bobby

great that things are going so well with Luc! :)

i am glad your therapist said you could always come back. that must be such a relief.

i am impressed with your friend who is saving the dogs and monkeys from the lab. kudos to him!

wild rice is excellent food! we don't get it because dad won't eat it but i like it a lot too. did you know that botanically speaking, it isn't actually a type of rice, but a type of grass? hee hee. :)

~ waves ~