Assignment of household responsibilities
 

I realize this subject/poll is geared toward couples--if you live alone, feel free to share how it used to be, how it was with your parents, how you think it SHOULD be, etc.

I was chatting with some people, discussing who is responsible for what and how the "chores" are divvyed up.

One woman said she and her husband share all the chores...he does dishes half the time, she mows the lawn half the time, they take turns paying the bills, taking the dog to the vet, etc.

Another woman really didn't know...she said it was kind of whoever thought of it first, or wasn't working, whatever. Or whoever weasled out of it!

I realized Bob and I pretty much divided up the responsibilities. He ALWAYS mows, vacuums, does the dishes, recycling, etc. I A:WAYS do the cooking, the financial stuff, clean the bathrooms, change the bed, and so on. Even the things we "share" have divisions: he washes the towels and blankets, I wash the clothes. I prepare the hummingbird food, he fills the feeders.

Just curious how it works in your house? And DOES it work? Also wondering whether you made decisions as to who does what, or did it just naturally fall that way?

Feel free to elaborate...I know the poll choices are sketchy!

I live alone now and it's a darn good thing I learned to do it all myself. :rolleyes:

Well, now, I do have a few hunks helping me with the hard stuff.:p

Very similar to us... Hubby does some domestic things, that are hard for me...stairs, bending over.

I do outside work, some gardening, much of the decision making about what goes where in the yard. I do all cement work as he cannot figure how to do it. We have alot of that here and upNorth, to fix...walls etc. I do some rock work, except the heavy ones. He trims trees and bushes and I direct what to cut.
He rakes and mows. I grow our stuff from seeds and take care of them until they go in the ground.

I paint, he sands. Those kind of divisions.
He pays the bills but we both decide what to buy.
I make all the health decisions. I choose some of what to buy of his clothes, he does some of his own. In essence I draw the line at the scruffy and make him get "new". Shoes are the worst!

I'd say we share quite a bit. I seem to be the rare female in our neighborhood doing the outside things tho. In fact we are basically the only ones who don't have a "service" do all their yard work! :rolleyes:

We mostly share but I usually have to tell the others when something unpleasant needs to be done, even though I'm the one who works full time.

I start the laundry/he finishes it.
I cook/he does the dishes
He cooks/i do the dishes
this week he mows, next week I mow
If I am having a hard week,I start something,he finishes it.

We have been really good at sharing from the start. He realized i was just as busy as he was, and could use a partner, not someone who needed to be cared for.

Wish there was a choice labeled "Neither of us does anything...":p

I chose "one of us does almost everything". That would be me. I draw the line at a couple of things but mostly if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

C

My husband does everything!

He washes, he cleans, he shops and he cooks. He does the gardening and he even puts the garbage out.

I do nothing !

That makes me sound lazy, but it's not like that.... it's what he insists.

Lazy? I think it makes you sound blessed!

Sad to say but I do almost everything. If I can't physically do it, then DH does. He has two things he takes care of - taking trash to the curb and mowing the lawn - and the rest falls on me. Many times I somehow end up doing the trash or mowing the lawn anyway. Mostly it's because of his work schedule but with his job promotion hopefully he will be able to do more around the house. I don't work because I can't work but since my DD is in school all day I usually end up doing more than I really should. BUT, and this is where it really counts, if I'm not feeling well and just can't function, my DH will step in and take over and make sure whatever needs to be done is. The rest will wait until I'm feeling better.

Actually, while DH is remodeling the kitchen, not much gets done...I mow the lawn, wash the dishes (in the bathroom sink), and do the laundry as well as grocery shop. I also drive his parents around, make their doc appts, order their meds, and take them to family gatherings. When DH isn't doing construction, he weeds, takes the dog to get his nails trimmed, and works. Oh, and plays softball. He also vacuums and mops when there isn't remodeling, when I ask him to...
but as I said earlier right now nothing is getting done around the place...weeds everywhere. I do mow the lawn, but it's embarrassing around here. I used to be such a neat freak...MS has cured me:rolleyes:

Sigh...
My place has gone to hell. I recall with fondness the days when I had a yard that looked like fairyland, with flowers and tea candles at night, neatly mowed and not a weed to be seen.
Now there's a pile of trash out by the garage, a pile of junk next to it, three boats still leaning against it, wood stacked in the dooryard, boards stacked against the house, a raggedy half mowed lawn, weeds all over the flower beds strangling the last living perennials, nothing but dead flowers from last year in the baskets, and neighbors who despise us since they have showplace yards.

There's not enough time, not enough energy, both of us are having problems with pain and walking stuff and I just don't have the money to hire anyone. We don't even have running water in the house because we have a leaking pipe in a wall and can't get anyone to come and fix it yet. We have to turn the water on and off at the pump to minimize damage and it's just easier to leave it off and live out of water buckets for everything except showers. Don't even get me started on the house...

Where did my lovely life go? :(

My son 21 and my daughter 19 live with me, when she is not away at college. Assign? Don`t just sit there? do something? when stuff is done we can all take a break! The only one I had to babysit is gone.

This is a unique situation, I would think, for everyone. In my family my wife and I used to share all of the "things to do." But now, I do what I am able and still paying a high price for the effort. My wife greatly appreciates whatever I am able to do but gets really bent out of shape when I "overly express myself."

"OK Craig, what the heck does that all really mean?" Here it is laid out for you. I make every attempt to stay on top of doing the dishes, love cleaning the new black glass stove top, keeping stuff picked up, occasionally able to do the towels and bed linens, and spot vacuum. I make a point to feed and water the dogs every morning and most of the time in the evenings too. Anything I think will make home life easier for her since she works full time and is my care giver.

Every morning when she kisses me goodbye for the day, I make it a point to ask her if there is anything I can do for her? This includes calling the doctor, a store, or doing something out of the ordinary just so she doesn't have to do it.

Luckily we are to a point in life we can afford to have maids come in twice a month. That is so worth the investment when you consider the total return in time and energy, plus quality time together without worrying about house work.

I know, I tend to "run off at the keys," since my stroke, so sorry for the detailed length.

Kitty,

LOL! :laugh: You crack me up! I'm afraid from what my wife reports, you will have to stand in line with several of her female colleagues at work.

For years there has been a running joke at her work that should we ever divorce, (too late we're on year 37), or she die, I would need a scheduler to accommodate the women from her office who would want to visit. I have this terrible vision of the fairy tale kingdom princess having all those suitors.

Thank you for your comment and starting my day off with a laugh. What a precious gift. :hug:

Craig,

Maybe you could just start some online classes for other husbands and women would gladly pay you quite well if you could teach the men how to do things right, lol.