grief of the worst kind
 

I'm not sure whether losing a child or a husband of 32 years is worse. This is Mrs. Woodhaven and what I am feeling is ..............I can't put it into words!

Besides the MS, woodhaven was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in February and it had already gone to his brain. He was given 6 to 8 months to live at that time. He lasted 4 months. I lost him on June 15th and it has been pure living H---. We always did everything together. Never went anywhere without the other. I know he is now in a better place and am very thankful he is out of pain. It just hurts so bad.

I could sure use some prayers and hugs.

:hug: I'm so sorry to hear this. You're in my prayers. I know there's nothing I can do or say to make it hurt any less. If it's any consolation I've been where you are and know first hand what it feels like. It feels like it's never going to get any better and nothing matters anymore. I can tell you now that's not true but I know you're not ready to hear that or believe it. I wasn't. I just had to experience it for myself......slowly......but it did happen.

You're not alone. If you have access to grief counseling I'd encourage you to consider it. Isolation isn't a good thing when you're grieving. I know the last thing you want to do is socialize but talking to a professional or even just a good friend with a soft shoulder can work wonders.

There's several of us here who have lost a spouse and can relate to what you're feeling. Please post here as often as you feel the need. We're here for you. It's hard....feels impossible.....and the hardest time (for me) was the weeks immediately following when everybody seemed to get back to their lives and I was still consumed with grief. I did alot of praying during those days.

I'm so sorry to read this news. You're not alone. :hug:

Thanks Kitty. I knew you had been where I am now from reading some of the past posts. I haven't been on since May 4th but once I get my computer set up in the house, I will probably come on more. The computer is now in his shop where we stayed most of the time before he got so sick.

Thanks again for your kind words. They mean a lot.

awwww big hugs and prayers going out to you and your family. I
am so sorry for your loss.:(:hug::hug:

hugs thoughts and Prayer are headed your way...God bless you all and know that your Special Angel is at your side and though the grief may seem unmoundable know that there is nothing that you and God cannot get through together

:hug: I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts. :hug:

I'm so sorry woodhaven. :hug:

I haven't lost a spouse, but I have lost several babies, both my parents and my brother. I know that my own pain is much different to your's but I wanted you to know that I have some idea of what you might be going through, and that I feel for you.

Kitty had some very good advice and I hope you find it useful.

Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.

bless your heart! :( i know what it is to lose a husband. i lost mine 9 years ago and i thought i was going to die myself. it was the worst thing i've ever gone thru, as we had just gotten married the year before. my husband died 12 days before our first anniversary. :( we learned he had cancer 5 months after we got married, and it had already spread to where it was inoperable.

i'm so very sorry for your loss. it is devastating, and i know you're grieving. there are basically 5 stages of grief: shock, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. we go thru those stages at our own pace. grieving can take a long time, and some people take longer than others to recover. please don't let anyone try to tell you that "you should be over it by now." that's nonsense. you will know when you're beyond the grief, as we never really get "over it." just make sure you take care of YOU while you grieve. eat well and get the proper amount of sleep if you can. and come here to vent if yolu need to. God bless and take care. hugs, lee

:hug:Thinking of you.:hug:

I am so sorry Mrs Woodhaven for you loss. May God bless you and hold you thru this awful time in your life.

My DH died in 2004..:( and I feel what you feel. :hug::hug::hug:

:hug: I am so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Woodhaven

Thank you for letting us know :hug:

You will be in my prayers

I am so very sorry and have no words of wisdom. I cannot even bring myself to think about losing my Jim. Came close a couple of times but he's still with me.

Please know I am praying for you. He is in a better place and that's what you have to lean on because it's all we got you know? Someday you will be reunited. :hug:

Thank you for sharing this personal journey with us.

I am not sure how I missed this thread...but I just wanted to extend my deepest sympathy:hug:

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine how devastated you are.

Lung cancer is tough. I lost my grandma to it last year. She lived about 5 months after they found it. We had hospice care and they offer bereavement care for free. I hope you have access to a service like that.

May God be with you and bring you peace and comfort.

i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved husband.
i'm thankful that you posted to let us know. please stay here and we will be here for love and support.

may God hold you in his arms while you make this journey.
i lost my parents several yrs ago and so know only a bit of how you feel.

I am very sorry for your loss Woodhaven...may the angels keep you safe as you grieve his loss. he is in a better place with no pain and no inability to breathe. I cannot imagine what you are going through as I am single. I do know what it is to lose a family member, as I lost my father when I was 26, I still mourn his death to this day. I pray your pain would be lessened in the days to come.

Jewels

Dear Mrs. Woodhaven,
Please accept my sincere condolences in the passing of your dear husband. It must be so hard to have to be alone and grieving. I will say a prayer for him tonight. I hope you seek some kind of counseling, professional or religious. I am so sorry ot hear this.

I hope you remember all the good times you had together, and keep those good memories, and his love for you, in you heart forever.

It is always a shock, even when you expect something is about to go very wrong. I hope you two had many years together and have family and friends to help with emotional support now.

You are the one left behind to try to understand why all this happens to good people. Take care of yourself, eat well, and talk to someone. Maybe your doctor can help. We care. :grouphug:

Holding you close in my thoughts. :hug:

Thank you all for your kind words of support and prayer. I can honestly say that some days things seem to go okay, others not so okay. It doesn't seem to take much to get the waterworks flowing. I really need a lot of the prayers today. It will be our 32nd anniversary. Our son tells me, get out of the house and do something. He is in another state, a thousand miles away. That is easy to say and not so easy to do, especially when you don't like going places. Never have and neither did Richard!! Again, thank you so much and please send them forth today. Shirley :(

RE:hurt
 

I am so sorry you are in pain. I do know loss like that too, and there is no pain worse. I am praying for you. Only :grouphug:time is said heals some of these wounds. It seems as humans we are constantly ecpected to except the unexceptable. I have not found a way to do this. Be good to your self and keep communication open to others who do care about you even if we have never met you. Ginnie

:hug: Shirley :hug: Lots of prayers being said for you today.

Anniversaries and other "dates" that are significant are hard to get through. For me, it was the anticipation of that day that was far worse than the actual day itself was. But, really, every day was difficult and presented it's own challenges.

People would tell me to get out of the house, stay busy, shop, go to a movie, etc. Like that would erase any thought I would have had of my DH. :rolleyes: I know they meant well but it was a struggle for me not to reach out and "touch" them....if you know what I mean!

Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. I know right now time seems like your enemy but it will eventually prove to be your friend. There's no shortcut to this. I wish there was because I know what you're experiencing. We're all here for you whenever you need us. Take care of yourself. :hug:

Thank you for talking with me last night. It was really nice. I will call you again if it is okay. The offer still stands if you want to come to Virginia.

Thank you so much for talking with me last night. It was really nice and helpful. I will call you again if it is okay. My offer still stands for stopping here on your way if you come visit your sister when she gets back home. Talk to you soon, Shirley.

hi shirly
 

Hi Sherly, just a little note today, to say hello again. Hurting doesn't go away with just a message or two I know. I want to keep in touch with people if I can. I need this just as much, pain is pain. Hope this day has some moments in it, for you to feel better, just for that tiny time. There are so many on this list that reach out. This internet stuff is something isn't it? I didn't grow up with it, so I find working with them quite frustrating. It does bring people closer together, even though it is just through space. I await for my NS to call, I missed his call, and am bumming about it. Ginnie:grouphug:

A Hug
 

Mrs.Woodhaven;
I am so sorry for your loss, I to just 3 weeks ago lost my one and only brother to lung ca, and 6 weeks prior to that I lost my father. You, as I, will never be the same, but I know in my heart that one day we will all be together again. There are days that are better then others, but my love for my brother and Dad would never wish them back, to much suffering on their part. Try to keep the faith, keep family and friends close. I will pray for you and here is your Hug!!

Hey there, Shirley. Hope all is well with you. I was thinking of you and thought I'd check this thread to see if you had popped in. Call me anytime. I'm usually always here.....and up. :rolleyes: My sleep patterns are all over the place so chances are whatever time you call I'll be up! :)

So, so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and in my prayers. :smileypray: