I'm new & someone guided me here (ty Chemar)
 

2 days ago my middle son tried committing suicide; my daughter-in-law found him when she got home from work. He took a large bottle of pills called "headache PM". In the ER they pumped his stomach & did the charcoal IV & did bloodwork. The DR's said he had twice the lethal dose of acetaminophen in his system. But they think he should be ok. He's in the ICU. Today they did more bloodwork & it came back with higher levels of the tylenol then yesterdays results; they told him he's still not "out of the woods yet". (I'm not sure how it could be higher than the day before?) Hopefully tomorrow's tests will be better.
He keeps telling all of us that he's really sorry & That was the first & last time he'll ever try anything again. I can tell he"s sincere. He knows he needs help. (He's been very depressed; he has ulcertive collistis & nothing seems to be helping. He lost his job more than a year ago & just alot of family problems & stress).

My dad committed suicide when I was 12 (almost 44 years ago). I'm so thankfull that God was there watching over my son & I know God will help us through this.

:hug: I am so glad that your son didn't succeed and that his cry for help is being heard loud and clear... rest assured he is certainly in the best place and hopefully the docs will find a med that will help him.. not to mention the therapy he will need. This world is a tough place these days.... and gosh, knowing what you've gone through loosing your Dad.... well, I think you must be in shell-shock about now... your world has been rocked....

so don't forget to take care of yourself, too!

its a busy long weekend so I won't be here much to write... I have my almost two year old grandaughter staying with me for 3 days... so must sign off to get my rest...

I'm sure there will be others here, soon... who can talk to you.

stick around... we can all learn a lot from each other....

Addy

I pray that your son has no lasting affects from his attempt. I'm so sorry you have been through this nightmare before with your Dad and just being 12 is hard enough without losing someone you love.

Please stay in touch and let us know how both he and you are getting along. :grouphug:

Tom

maybe you have an answer to this ladies dilema

Mike

maybe you could explain GODS reasoning for this



me i just SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

David

I feel for you I am so sorry that you are going through this but all I can say with this happening to me right now but with my husband not son is that support them. Encourage them. make it easier not harder. My husband right now is in the Neuro Psych Ward on suicide watch. He has been there for four days now and it has been so hard. you should read my story i think it might give you advice, Its called I survived my husbands suicide attempt. Best to you and your son and i will be praying for you both.

Tabby

Hello, Jaycojade, David: First and foremost, Jaycojade, I'm glad your son is out of harm's way. I wonder .. is it more than temporary...

I may be WWWAAAAYYY off base, but here goes...

Jaycojade, one of the first things you mentioned was your "middle" son tried to commit suicide. Obviously, the word "middle" is important to you; otherwise, you wouldn't have brought it up.

A "middle" condition or status is an intermediate, transitional, marginal one. Primitive societies have numerous rites and rituals for people in middle conditions -- they are isolated in shacks, go through specific initiation rites, etc. Unfortunately, we have lost many such rites, or rendered them irrelevant if not downright destructive. (Teens in particular are left to themselves to sort things out). The idea of the rites is to help the person make their journey safely through a disturbing middle condition (usually from childhood to adulthood). I repeat: the rites of transition are there because the "middle" person is viewed as in a dangerous condition; after all, he/she is neither here nor there. He is being threatened, and is threatening others.

It is hardly surprising that people in a middle condition (between oldest and youngest of children, for example) face a situation laced with ambiguity. Ambiguity in turn creates AMBIVALENT emotions, reasoning. "On the one hand, on the other..." "There's the good side, and there's the bad side... "

It is relief from ambivalent emotions that, I suspect, "middle" people seek when they undertake some ABSOLUTE action. And death is absolute; there's precious little ambiguous about that; your heart is either beating or it isn't. It is the ultimate rite of passage. Is that rite (rather than death itself) really what your son is seeking? Maybe, PART of something in him in fact needs to die -- that part, well, he mistook it for the whole.

The ultimate challenge is to help your son deal with his ambivalent emotions. You/your family and friends must perform what is an extremely difficult task in our society: rites of transition to help him through this difficult period. And beyond. The fact your son swears it wil be "the first and last time" he will try to commit suicide, makes me question all the more his real condition. His absolutist, extreme posture perhaps indicates a deeper pool of conflict inside him that is threatening to drown him. Otherwise stated: one extreme always indicates the presence of its opposite, even though the latter may be in a latent, invisible form.

The upshot: people in a middle condition can "flip" -- move from one extreme to its other -- in a blink. What was latent can suddenly become manifest. So, I would be even more cautious if I were you regarding future suicide attempts. As you say, he is not "out of the woods" -- in more ways than one.

Woods, by the way, are traditional areas for initiation rites...

Hope that helps.

Tom

How is your son doing today jaycojade? Remember that you aren't alone with this....we are here for you. :grouphug:

Dear JaycoJade

sorry to hear of what happened... how terrifying for you :( ... how are you doing, and how is your son recovering?

~ waves ~

Welcome Jaycojade -

So sorry to hear how awful this has been for you, and must be even more so for you after what happened with your father years and years ago. I hope that the doctors are doing their job and I hope that you all are referred to some trusting and great mental health professionals that can help your son out the best they can, as well as the rest of the family.

I think that Tom's post is helpful regarding "middle child syndrome" but it sounds to me, in my opinion, that your son's condition (collitis) and depression must have had more of an impact and hopefully can be treated with lots of love from the family and help from the doctors and staff.

Keep us posted - hope all is well and he is smoothly recovering!

update on my son
 

Troy is doing well; he was moved to a psych hospital on Tuesday. Today me & my youngest son had a meeting with Troy & his counsler & he looks good & seems like he's doing good too. He might be released tomorrow afternoon.

"lebelvedere"; not sure if I understand all of what you said; but I usually refer to my sons "oldest; middle or youngest" to ppl I don't know or anyone that doesn't know them. Otherwise if I know them or they know me or my sons then I refer to my sons by their own names. I don't think there's anything else to it; (but of course I could be wrong). I'm in the middle too -- or rather was growing-up; 2 older sisters & a younger sister & brother. My younger brother died 10 years ago & my younger sister 5 years ago. My sister battled 3 kinds of cancer & my brother was out drinking with some "friends" of his & then was (either passed out or already dead) & dragged onto his front porch in early winter & left there. The cops said he died from vomiting & suffocating (can't remember the legal term for it). But either way he was beatin up some & then left there. He was found by his neighbor a few hours later.

My thoughts are: Live life the best ya can---cos.....
"Tomorrow is Never Promised to Anyone"

Take care & thank you all; for your thoughts & prayers.
Jaycojade

Jaycojade.... as the mother of 3 sons, myself, I actually understood what you were referring to when you said Troy was your middle son ... it just tells folks that I have 3 kids and that's it, as simple as it sounds.

My heart goes out to you at this time of unrest... :hug:
May each day get easier for Troy knowing that his cry for help was heard and he has a loving, supportive network.

You have lived with a lot of pain yourself... and you have a great philosophy about life.

:hug: Addy

p.s.
In this instance, Tom, I feel that perhaps you were right in saying you were "way off base".

Dear Jaycojade,

thank you for the update. i am glad your son Troy is recovering well.

fwiw, i also took the reference to your "middle" son as you intended it. :hug:

very sorry to hear of your sisters battle with cancer and your brother's demise at the hands of those brutal "friends." :(

~ waves ~

Hello, Jaycojade: SOOOO glad to hear your son is doing better and will be home with you soon.

I guess my point is: your son is in a transitional period. It is, consequently, a difficult, if not dangerous, period. Transition from what to what?

That is the question. Only you and he and your family can ultimately answer it. I sense it will be an answer formed by acts as much as anything else (reading books about suicide, etc.). I hope his brothers have the common sense not to had to the difficulty by teasing him, or being angry or critical; NOW IS NOT THE TIME for such things (if there ever is).

Being in the "middle" ... You, yourself, grew up in the middle. I sense that has a ringing importance for you -- as it darn well should. Consciously, rationally, you think: naw ... doesn't mean a thing. Unconsciously, on the level of feelings, it may mean a great deal. But, as you say, I could be wrong.

Your sister and brother: you have been through a lot. "Been through." You made a transition, all right. You survived, came through the other end. Think about it.

Bestest, Tom

Soooo happy to see you made it here Jacojade, and that your son is recovering well... :hug:ssssssssss ....we will be watching over you.....:grouphug: