I don't know how to go to bed
 

I don't want to sleep.
Something is wrong with me.
I took the night meds little while ago: maybe Klonopin will take the edge off the anxiety about this.
M.

Hi, i am here, and wanted to respond, but i feel a bit useless in this regard Mari. it isn't exactly something at which i excel... or am even competent. :o i mean there's the whole sleep hygiene bit... but i'm sure you know all that stuff... right?

it stinks when one's ideal time of sleep is at odds with when society decrees we ought to sleep.

i mostly hope you can get sleep in, at some time, so you don't end up toooo sleep deprived. sounded like you already weren't getting enough before and during your parents' visit.

:hug::hug::hug:

might a cup of something warm and comforting help? :o

~ waves ~

Waves,
After I took the meds and was settling down a bit, I washed my hair. This woke me up of course and postponed bed.
Then I printed out some stuff and did some other work that I need for tomorrow.
I even went outside twice to check on one of the plants that hubby and Mom planted to confirm that it looks like it is dying even though I watered it twice tonight.

I'm lost.
M.

Waves,
After I took the meds and was settling down a bit, I washed my hair. This woke me up of course and postponed bed.
Then I printed out some stuff and did some other work that I need for tomorrow.
I even went outside twice to check on one of the plants that hubby and Mom planted to confirm that it looks like it is dying even though I watered it twice tonight.

I'm lost.
M.

Dear Mari

don't water the plant any more tonight. check with mom about watering frequency. newly moved plants often go into stress and look like they are wilting/dying. they usually recover if the new setting is adequate. but excess watering does not help the plant adjust. overwatering is just as bad as underwatering.

put away your work. do you have a good book, or magazine article, you can read? if you can't concentrate to read, find something you can just browse through and look at pictures or even ads.

1. dim the lights in your apartment.

2. brush your teeth and do any other evening grooming that might be left to do.

3. if your hair is not yet dry, dry it.

4. if you are not in your sleeping clothes, put them on.

5. make yourself a warm, non caffeinated beverage.

6. sit and read or look at pix while sipping the hot beverage.

:hug:

are you feeling different than usual tonight? particularly anxious? do you think an extra bit of Klonopin would be useful?

~ waves ~

Thanks, Waves,

Tdoc has told me in the past that I need to meditate 5 minutes a day.


She doesn't talk much. I think she thinks that from there I can move to other things that will help me eventually get to sleep.
The practice of five minutes 6 or 7 days a week will help me grow from there. (From here -- this side of the meditation -- my next steps are prob more than 5 mins a day, some yoga, and an almost vegan / vegetarian diet)

I'm going shopping tomorrow for soy yogurt because the grocery stores near my do not carry it anymore. It is a quick and easy food to take to work. A minute ago I put some lentils in a bowl with water to soak so I can cook them Wed night.

I have to wake up at 9:30 am.
I don't understand. It seems almost destructive to do this.

Maybe I can meditate somehow -- but clearly since she has asked me to do this for years and I don't do it, I have a block I have to get past.

Whining a little bit . . . . . sorry

M.

Dear Waves,
Thanks.
I'm in my bed clothes and I brushed my teeth and all that. Both alarm clocks are set.
Hair is very short and dry enough at this point.

I'm probably feeling more anxious tonight than some other nights
-still processing the visit w/ parents
-thinking of things I need to do like send out an email or at least put it down on my list of things I have to do tomorrow.
-papers for class were thrown into my book bag and scattered / jumbled up on Friday
-most of my effort on Wed will be on staying awake and appearing to be competent.


M.

Dear Mari

it's alright. i am listening. :hug::hug::hug:

i have these "block" thingies too about various things. they are hard. :o

it reminds me of that old Nike ad... "Just do it." ... i used to HATE that...

if i could, "just do it," i wouldn't have a problem!!! :o:(

~ waves ~

this makes sense. this will also get better in the next few nights.

this sounds discomfiting. even though it would eat into potential "sleeping time" might it help, to invest in say a half hour, to organize the papers, at least somewhat, and add the things you are needing to do to that list for tomorrow?

~ waves ~

Yes, Waves,

Thanks for talking to me.
I am going to bed now.

M.

Nite nite, Mari. :heartthrob:

i hope you sleep well. :Zzzz:

~ waves ~

I hope that tomorrow night is easier for you!

I often have the same problem, but usually end up staying up all night one night (not healthy, as we all know).
Reading a book sometimes helps me...

And I've heard that they have meditation and guided imagery on audio tapes. These may be able to help you with your block (if you haven't already tried this), but you'll have to be able to sit still for a while.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but I wish you well.
-Kay

I am hoping that you got some rest.....
((((glad that waves was here for you)))))
bizi

Dear Mari,

The only thing Ive tried to make me sleep is diphenhydramine hydrochloride and it worked excellent... have you tried it or asked your doc ??

Just wondering.

So sorry to read you are having rough nights !! :(

Dear Mari,
I am sorry it is so complicated for you...I wish it were easier.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi:hug:

I take 100mg of trazadone every night, but it doesn't help at all if I'm manic.

I've also used benedryl in the past to help me relax.

i don't get along with Benadryl. 25mg is touch and go... never know what to expect... 50mg i bounce off the walls :rolleyes: ... paradoxical agitation or whatever.

~ waves ~

allergic reaction
 

Hi,
Last night I had an allergic reaction to something. I think it was some dates.

My face and chest and neck and arms got red. I had all over stinging -- like pins and needle only meaner. My tongue got numb.

I was freaked on so I took two Benedryl. Within an hour of taking the Benedryl I was feeling better, although hours later the symptoms had not completely subsided.

This likely food reaction has happened twice before in my life -- but not to this degree. I think it was the sulfites in the dates. I am angry that the package does not list sulfites as an ingredient. The ingredient list could help me know what had happened.

I'm hungover from the Benedryl -- I did not expect Benedryl to knock me out like this.
I'm still having some of the stinging. The redness is gone.
M.

I'm sorry Mari. That sounds like a pretty big reaction. You may have to take the benedryl (maybe even just 1) for a few days until your symptoms are gone.

Are you allergic to sulfur antibiotics, too?

You may want to check in with your PCP and ask for an epi-pen. Allergic reactions can get worse with each exposure. He/she may want to do some more allergy testing.

I hope you feel better soon!
-Kay

Wow mari that must have been scarey.
I am sorry that happened to you.
lots of people take benadryl to sleep.
tylenol PM, etc.
bizi

Mari

Sending you hugs. And I sure can relate to how you felt. But only
as a concerned mom right at this time.

Right now I have been watching to see that Derrick doesn't have another
reaction to whatever he had his with this last spring.

Its looking more and more like spring and spring allergies.

But we will see.

Donna:grouphug:

Dear Mari

i am sorry you had this experience. :( they really should list additives on the package! do you know that you are sensitive to sulfites? i can think of a few other thinsg....

1. dates (and raisins) are sometimes they are coated with a very thin film of ??? wax, oil...? not always listed on package.

2. the dates may have been packed in a processing plant that also processes other dried fruit and NUTS ... if you have any specific food allergies, say to walnuts.... often there are warnings regarding processing facilities on the package also... but if not there is no telling...

i hope you are feeling better by now. :hug::hug::hug: i would take a dose of benadryl nightly until the itching is gone. 25 mg (1 cap) should be enough now that the worst is over, and that won't knock you out as bad.

~ waves ~

Did I tell you I am tired.
 

Hi,

I slept from 3:30 to 7:30 am and then went back to sleep for a light hour.
Argh. I need to sleep every few days or so.

I have a meeting today, and I invited my new office mate to lunch, and I have lots of paperwork to do and don't see any signs of being able to sleep tonight.

The last time I went to school this tired it was clear I was so tired I could barely talk or sit. It looks bad. Maybe I should call and cancel the whole day.

M.

Dear Mari :heartthrob:

if it is at all doable, cancel and sleep.

a compromise might be to cancel the first part of the day, including the lunch, and sleep for a while?

i'm so sorry you're so tired.

i laughed (in a sad way) at your saying, "I need to sleep every few days or so." most of us have to sleep every day. :hug:

~ waves ~

I hope you canceled...but if not, i wish for you a pleasant luncheon.
hugs
bizi

Mari, I'm so sorry!

You need to sleep every night! It's so hard to get though your day that tired. Can you call your PCP or pdoc for a script?

I sleep A LOT. And I nap. Or I'm crap.
The only time I can swing no sleep is when I'm manic.

I wish you a real, restful, refreshing slumber tonight.

:hug:
-Kay

Hi,
Thanks.
It was supposed to be a short day Thursday but it turned into a very long day. I got home around 7:30 pm and decided to call in sick tomorrow / Friday.
I need the sleep. I emailed some folks and cancelled some stuff. I can call the office when I wake up.

Can you freeeeeking believe that construction people are coming at 9:00 am to put in a new security / hurricane proof door and door frame in the front?!! Argh. (The current door is warped and tired.)
They told hubby that it could take four hours. I hope that all goes well and that they do a good job and go home.

I can try to hide from them. Hubby is going to deal with them.


M.

Dear Mari

i am glad you are taking the day off today. and then there's this....

Sheeezz!!!!! just what you need on your sleep-day. :Noooo:

we need to have like an alternate dimension for construction/maintenance work! :D when they are done being noisy and messy and intrusive they can "swap the result" into our dimension.... now wouldn't it be nice... sigh. :rolleyes:

glad that hubby is going to deal with them. i hope you are able to isolate from them effectively and that they aren't too noisy.

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

i am so sorry your sleep is going to be disturbed. it is such a killer. lately i have been having so much trouble and just getting more overtired. Can you catch up or does the tiredness linger? I would be afraid to sleep with earplugs but i don't know about you...i don't even know if they would work against that kind of noise.
bobby

they work considerably - at least better than no earplugs.

that is what i use. i did that recently to nap while they were ripping our kitchen apart.

but sometimes i am annoyed by having things in my ears.

generally i have to pick the least of two evils...... :o

also i remember a while back Steve suggesting earmuffs - he uses a kind that are very effective even in a firing range... he said he has a slim / form-fitting? design that is comfortable...

i don't know what would be best for you Mari. maybe try different things.

~ waves ~

Hi,

They started work at 8:30 and left at 11:45 am. I stayed in bed and slept off and on. I have some ear plugs that have helped in the past but I sort of remembered that and then forgot to put them in.
At any rate, I got some sleep. I expect to take a nap later.


This is weird. Hubby is relaxed. Some anxiety abated as soon as the guys left. He feels safer apparently with the good door. I'm happy for me. When he feels safe he is calm. Calm is good.

M.

Calm is good.

I hope you have a nice nap :)

-Kay

Struggling
 

Hi,

I'm saddened -- also troubled -- about a close friend.

We can't be friends anymore.
I'm hurt and sad.

I'm not going to write about here because the details are not appropriate. But I still felt the need to post.

Thank you very much.


M.

((( :heartthrob: Mari :heartthrob: )))

i'm so sorry. if you want to or need to talk about it privately... i'm here... you have my contacts.

~ waves ~

oh I am sorry about your friendship....
that you are sad troubled and hurt...:(
it will take a while to figure out how to best deal with them that is if you will have to see them at work or others wise.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

i am so sorry it happened. sometimes we have to cut off people to preserve ourselves. it doesn't make it less painful though

bobby

Yeah, I might have to cut her off.
We've been friends off and on (mostly on) for 30 years. She is my only friend.

This is distracting because I have other things to think about. My head is busy and I don't need this crap.
I'm sad for her and for me.

M.

make a list of positives and negatives
bobby

Also Mari, just take some time.

maybe whatever has happened has already built up over time... and is just coming to a head, i don't know. but even if so, it sounds like you are starting to react now. whether it has been a mounting thing, or whether there was a triggering event, give yourself time to react and process your reaction, recover from the hurt a bit.

in the meantime, you can take some distance from your friend without making a permanent decision about the relationship. you can just let the situation sit, and focus on your other things. you will gain perspective. and then see how the negatives and positives "weigh" in... they may weigh differently, after some time, than they do now.

also you may decide it isn't an all-or-nothing deal. you may choose to make the "distance" permanent, but not cut the person out of your life completely.

i am sorry, i have had to distance only very few people and with good friends it is very hard - it hurts and we miss them, even when there are good reasons not to have them in our lives any more. never had the situation with someone i'd known as long as 30 years. but people can change, or sometimes we discover they are not who we thought ... i guess that can happen after any amount of time. i hope that isn't the case here. that is an awful feeling. :(

~ waves ~

I'm so sorry Mari. This must be very difficult for you. :hug:

I do agree with Waves. Take some time to let the dust settle before making a permanent decision. With a little distance, everything takes on a different light.

-Kay