Dr. Alan Wolfelt
 

I'm really looking forward to hearing him speak on the 28th of this month.

Here is some of his website...

http://www.centerforloss.com/article...=helping14.php

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Dr.Wolfelt gave an incredible presentation last night and I couldn't help but think about recent survivors who would have benefited from hearing him. It was general to grieving "properly"..my word, he would never have used it! Several things he said resonated with me...

Bereavement actually means = to be torn apart

We do not "overcome" grief, we "surrender" to it

grief feels so much like fear

he believes in mystical experiences

If you understand everything that is going on, you are probably crazy..:D

And something he said is nagging at me...he touched on aggitated grief, and he caught me looking at Mr.Alffe who was nodding his head in agreement and Dr.Wolfelt said..."I caught that...I believe in body signals". *grin

Todays workshop is from 9 to 3:30 and will be specific to abrupt deaths/suicide...it's for professionals but others are "welcome"...I'm an other...can't wait to hear him again.

The Dr. was meant to catch to catch you and Mr. Alffe, just as you were meant to be there and learn about the good work the doctor is doing by spreading his word.

I am happy to live vicariously through you as you attend today's session.

thanks Alffe! xo

I am struggling to share because he had such an impact on me...so many things he said resonated to my very core...how could he know me so well, how could he "get it", show me how to fix it...had I the funds, you would find me at his feet!! :grouphug::grouphug:

Share bits with us when you can Alffe.
I'm so glad you're feeling this way :hug:

:sing: Addy

I had a friend who also was a Pastors wife...this Pastor who is now deceased officiated at Michael funeral..the funeral I don't remember...but I remember very well what my friend said to me..."Michael went straight to hell". Why she thought I'd find comfort in that is beyond me..but maybe she wanted to "teach" me something about God or the bible and her intention was not to comfort me...I guess she thought I didn't deserve to be comforted. :confused:

I say all that because on page 42 of this wonderful book, the good doctor writes:

"It was not all that long ago that suicide was considered a sin by many of the major bodies of faith. Historically, it was considered by many not just a sin, but an unpardonable sin.

Thank God we now have religious leaders and well-respected theologians who are compassionately and non-judgmentally educating people that suicide is not a sin. As one Catholic priest observed about suicide, "When its victims wake on the other side, they are met by a gentle Christ who stands right inside of their huddled fear and says, "Peace be with you!" As we see in the gospels, God can go through locked doors, breathe out peace in places where we cannot get in, and write straight with even the most crooked of lines."
But watch out for some people who do continue to preach that suicide is a sin. Find people who recognize that faith is about being open to the mystery. I always like to remind myself that "mystery" -the ancient name for God - is something to be pondered, not explained. If someone starts preaching to you that suicide is a sin and that your loved one has gone to hell, get the heck away from him or her as fast as you can."

*Understanding Your suicide Grief by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D

http://www.embracingourlosses.com/grief-loss.html

Listen....two ears, one mouth - use them proportionately...*grin

Dear Ms. Alffe. Thank you for sharing and I'm glad this experience has been so very good for you. Makes my heart warm.

The going to hell thing...I have parents who believe that. I wish they were what I would consider a 'true Christian'. And I probably can't explain that very well. I guess they are very old school and have a low tolerance. Suicide, homosexuality, etc., for them are direct routes to hell. *sigh

How anyone could think that someone who takes their own life is going to be punished eternally in 'hell' is beyond my comprehension.

Again, thank you for sharing something so important and revealing to you.

((Alffe))

Doody
 

There is no hell.

How awful of a friend to say that to you - but I guess the Dr. was right saying to get the hell away from people like that. But then again, when it's family saying those things, what can you do?

I know I keep going on a different page here, but speaking of religiousity, I've often wondered about spirituality and death. I like the image of Christ saying "peace be with you" especially since christianity is supposed to be about forgiveness. It seems like such a hypocrisy to say some things are forgiveable, while others are not? Anyways, I also often wonder about people that are terminally ill and become uber-religious before death as well. I've wondered about the reasons behind this, and how this may be looked upon in heaven/hell as well as the whole theory behind "no-such-thing-as-altruism" and Mother Theresa only being generous to help herself get closer to God. Just some wonders that perhaps should belong in the Wonder Thread. I'm glad you are sharing with us bits and pieces of your conference you went to. I remember the last conference I went to on Trauma, that impacted me so profoundly. The speaker was amazing and her life is going to be a movie soon. Wish I could've gone to yours too.

Barbo :hug: you okay? lurking alot. Hell just seems like another one of those hypocrisies too, huh? Why are some people forgiven and others not? Why are some people chosen and others not? Is that fair? And are some people truly EVIL and unforgiveable if all are supposed to be the children of God? I am by no means a religious person AT ALL - haven't been to church in years and years - and question it all the time, perhaps that is the existential in me that is so curious to find so many answers that just don't exist. :hug: (I've been talking way too much today!)

To Wish
 

I'm fine - thanks for asking. I happen to be an atheist - hope that doesn't offend you.:)

I Very much feel there are humans that walk this earth with a pure divinity about them, truly charasmatic with an ability to touch someones soul.

Are they all religious people.......no [not always]

But something about them is divine or superhuman; a kind of supernatural power or virtue; something which inspires awe.

They are the candles of light when all around us is dark, they are the voices that resonate high above the noise of others, their spoken word leaves you stood there with your bottom jaw dropping, and they manage to make you think for the time that they talk to you....that you are the most important person on earth......

They can be
Teachers, Doctors, Clergy, Waiters, Nurses, Builders, Cleaners, Strangers, Friends, Family, Bosses, Work Colleagues.........practically anyone.anywhere.

True altruism possibly does exist in the world, because its opposite number Shelfishness is out there in abundance.............

Good probably does exist because bad also exists in the world we all know

Alffe i'm pleased you are hearing a message from Dr.Wolfelt that is helping you join up the dots in your life, and glad it also has granted you the ability to reflect upon your own emotions after all these years........truly experience this journey.....[for YOU]

Wish............

just as a point of interest...i know a lady who works in my company...[also a support worker ] Called Theresa who was one of the many orphans raised in Callcutta by Mother Theresa and the sisters of Mercy............she is a cool lady....very humble quite sereen in nature............and very calming to be around [ something...i dont know what????? rubbed off on this ladies upbringing thats for sure]

And Barbo.........i'm sure Hell is on this earth only:hug:

David

For David
 

We both have that right David.

And I truly believe that as well. I've met a few of those people.

I was raised in a Lutheran Church. The whole thing..Sunday School, Church, every single Sunday! Baptized there. Then whatever those classes were I had to take in junior high/high school to be confirmed into the church.

Then met and married a not so nice man, and he managed to turn me into an atheist. Or what I wouldn't admit to him (he was an abuser) was that it was probably more agnostic. Now...I'm not sure what I'd call myself but I'm sure we're all in for something good when 'our time' comes.

Do all prayers get answered? I don't think so. But I do believe the more love and compassion that we give out the more we'll get back. And if we all subscribe to that love and compassion, the world will be a better place.

The really really bad and evil people??? I'm not sure about them. I don't think their 'afterlife' will be as pleasant as it could have been.

But back to the original thought....I can't subscribe to suicides going to hell. Let alone there even being a 'hell'. Most of us struggle through hells of our own right here on this earth.

Doody - I totally agree. For those people that are suicidal, isn't the hell on earth part enough? Who's to say what happens next has to be more or less awful?

:grouphug:

So many questions - so little answers!

another perspective...
 

http://www.southbendtribune.com/arti...64/1001/Sports

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