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A request.
I am going through something right now. Please pray for me. I know I'll be fine, but I also know I'll be finer if I have your prayers.
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I'm on it. Praying that you will receive peace and wisdom through God's grace.
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Praying for you now, Marion. :smileypray:
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You got it, Marion.
-Vic |
prayers and hugs :hug:
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Of Course, On it.
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You got it. :hug:
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Of course, my friend. On their way up.:hug:
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Of course, you got it.:hug:
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Saying a prayer for you Marion. :hug:
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Prayers going up............
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Prayers going out for you,Marion. :hug::hug:
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You can add my prayers to the rest, Marion.:)
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Quite right, Marion, count me in. :)
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((((Marion))))
Mine is catching up with the rest already said. :hug: |
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Adding my prayers:hug:.
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i'm sending prayers your way marion.
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Thoughts and prayers for you, Marion...:hug::hug:
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still praying! :hug:
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Thinking of You, ((((Marion))))
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Thank you all for your prayers. I am sure they helped in many ways. Here’s what happened:
On Monday, my brother-in-law assaulted me. He has a history of domestic violence, and he has a volatile temper. When he loses it, he really loses it. Gerry and I were visiting at his house in Bristol, CT, when he lost his temper. I decided to leave, when he snapped. BIL decided I wasn’t leaving and he blocked my exit and started coming at me swearing at the top of his lungs. I was freaked. Gerry pulled him away from the door, and I escaped. BIL then turned off the lights that illuminate his back woodsy yard, which left me in total blackness. Then he came after me, swearing and taunting me. I stumbled across his back deck since I couldn’t see anything, and I finally found the stairs. At that point he tried to push me down the stairs. My walker was at the bottom of the stairs where I had left it and I started across the lawn and was stumbling down a rather steep hill trying to get to my car. Then he tried to push me down the hill. Sigh. All the while I could hear Gerry in the background screaming at BIL to stop. When I got into the car and locked the doors, I opened the window and yelled for Gerry, saying I have to go. I heard Gerry yell “Go, go, go!” so I went, went went! BIL lives at the end of a deserted dead-end dirt road. I pulled the van around the corner on to the paved road, turned off car, and waited for Gerry. I waited an hour. Then I left. When I got home I found that Gerry had left a nasty voice mail for me because I “stranded him.” I gathered a few clothes and things together, and I just left. That was Monday night. I drove and cried and drove and cried for two days. Yesterday morning I checked into a hotel in Myrtle Beach, SC. The first thing I did was call Gerry. All he could do is yell at me because he couldn’t find his cell phone charger. WTF!?!?! Gerry and his brother have to be in Florida for a meeting on Thursday, and when I called him he was already driving to Florida. I have decided to go home. Damn! Why did I drive so far!? It’ll take me another two days to get home, but it is home that I need most right now. Gerry won’t be back home for a week. I am devastated. Gerry and I never fight. We both like it that way since we are both sort of laid-back people. In the twenty-something years of marriage I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he has raised his voice to me. And now this? I am a bit calmer this morning. I’m going to take my time driving home. I’ll probably sleep in the van on the way home, so I don’t know if I’ll have Internet until I get there. Thank you all so much for the prayers. On my way home I will be stopping at the police station in Connecticut in the town where it all happened. I’ll be filing assault charges against BIL. I’ll post again then. |
Oh my goodness, Marion, you certainly do need us to continue praying!
PLEASE stay in a hotel, not in your van, unless you can park in a police station parking lot or something! You don't need MORE trouble! The situation with your husband was way more than a "fight"...that's very frightening that he was so little concerned for your safety. That was abusive behavior (as you already know). |
((hugs)) :hug: I am so happy you are safe. Please put your foot down to BOTH those monkeys and tell them that if that episode is ever repeated, EVERYONE is going to jail! Connecticut takes domestic violence very seriously. I would get a restraining order against the BIL and let Gerry tell him NO! you will never come near her again. EVER! If Gerry has a problem with that then perhaps he should be bunking over there. Violence is ALWAYS a deal breaker.
You are a good person and deserve better than that. I am so proud of you for leaving, and so proud that you kept going. Trying to put as much distance between you and them as possible. PLEASE dont sleep in your van. If you do DONT answer the knock on your window from strangers asking you to take them "just one exit to their broken car" my friend was just robbed at a NC rest area. PLEASE, its worth the $50 for a motel. Be safe. We are all here to support you and cheerlead you in any situation. Please be safe. :hug: |
Dejabo and all, thank you so much for worrying. As for sleeping in the van, I have the perfect method to be safe. All along I95 they have big “travel centers” just off of many exits. They are 24-hour truck stops as well as a 7-11 type store, gas station, and sometimes a few fast food places. They are very busy all day and night long. My van has handicap plates, so I can park in a spot that is right in front of the front door of the travel center. It is very well lit and there are always folks coming and going. I draped a sheet just behind the front seats, so I have good privacy. I have a wonderful reclining seat back there, and even with all the noise and lights I can sleep comfortably without problem. They also usually have security cameras all over the place. I know better than to open the door, or even the window for anyone I don’t know. I’m a pretty levelheaded lady. When I was single and had a career, I traveled alone all over the country for work as well as Europe and Mexico. I have street smarts, and I know enough to never get myself in a dangerous situation. On the other hand, a woman checking into a hotel who is alone and using a walker is a prime target for robbery. I feel safer in the van. If things start going wrong, I can just drive away.
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I'm still praying for you, Marion. What an ordeal! :eek:
I know you and Gerry have been through alot these past months what with his parents dying and having to take care of things so far away (Florida). Sounds like Gerry might just be at the breaking point himself but that doesn't excuse his nasty behavior. Might explain it somewhat but doesn't make it okay. Please be careful....whatever you ultimately decide to do.....and know that your friends here at NT are praying for you and with you. Please keep us updated so we don't worry! :o |
:hug: Prayers and Hugs Marion :hug:
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Ditto and take care:hug: What a scary situation:eek:
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(((Marion))) I'm so sorry to hear about what you have gone through. Please drive safely and take care of yourself. I will keep you in my prayers. Check back in when you can.:hug:
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Yike, Marion, what an awful ordeal. You are due the award for the bravest, most level headed one, DH get's the snivling, selfish coward award and BIL should get, at least, 6 mos in jail.:mad:
Drive carefully and be safe. I'll be praying for you, all the way home. Please check in ASAP. :hug::hug: |
Prayers for you my dear...and make sure you have a relative or friend who knows what has occured...you need an ally right now...one in the flesh...you know we're here too of course...:hug::hug:
anyway, I am sorry you are going through this...sounds as if your guy is not himself... |
I am home!!!!! I made good time. After traveling that road many, many times over the years, I have to say that I have never seen such little traffic in my life. Don't get me wrong. The highways were crowded, but not one standstill. Not in Richmond, DC, Baltimore, New Jersey, and I even breezed through the George Washington Bridge, which NEVER happens. The patron saint of traffic jams must have known I was in rough shape, and let me off easy.
I just want to clarify something. I don't know if Gerry was battling with BIL or not. Since BIL cut off the outside lights, and it was pitch black out, I couldn't see either one of them. I could only tell where they were from the direction their voices came from. I have only the vaguest idea of exactly where they were except when I was being pushed or when BIL's cussing was really close. BIL cut the lights just as I ran out the back door on to the deck. I yelled at BIL to turn back the lights because we couldn't see. BIL then proceeded to taunt me, screaming "What's the matter, Marion? Can't see? HAHAHHA! over and over and over. At one point, when I was trying to get down the hill after finally finding the stairs, I fell on my butt. I decided that wasn't such a bad idea since you can't fall if you are on the ground. I ended up half crawling/half rolling the rest of the way down. Also, Gerry yelled at me "Go, go, GO!" urgently. I looked up in the direction of the house, and saw that the floodlight had been turned back on, and BIL was rushing down the hill in my direction. Gerry was yelling at him from the deck to come back to the house. BIL has a long history of violence with women. His wife divorced him after he choked her during a fight until she blacked out. He is now seeing this idiot girl and she sometimes calls me and describes their fights to me. Believe it or not, she seems to be bragging about how violent he is. I guess she thinks it is cool to be with a dangerous man. I had never seen BIL go psycho personally. I guess you have to be there. She had described to me in detail the totally freaky look he gets on his face (and those EYES! Shudder) when he blows up. I never really knew whether to believe her or not. As it turns out, her description was spot on! This man needs help. I don't say that because I'm giving him any slack for what he did. I only say it because I am a good earthling. He shouldn't be walking around with normal people. He should be locked up until he gets proper help and medication. I intend to see if I can make that happen. That, and a restraining order. You'll have to pardon me now. It's time for me to roll around in a pile of kitties. I plan to do nothing today. No phone calls. No fretting. Who knows, maybe no crying. I can hope, can't I? As for Gerry, I have no clue what's going on with him. That is just going to have to wait. |
I am so glad you are home safe. PLEASE have a conversation with Gerry that when running for your life, you dont stop to go back and give a ride to someone who is telling you to RUN.
Connecticut takes domestic violence very seriously, and I pray you get a restraining order or protection and tell Gerry that under no circumstances will you allow anyone to treat you that way. Stop taking current g/fs phone calls. Have Gerry explain that you are angry, and worried and want as much distance as possible between them and you. That means allowing g/fs to gossip or run info about how and where you are to this dangerous man. Now snuggle kitties, love your safe, quiet violence free home. I am so proud of you! take a nap. :hug: |
Gerry, BIL, and idiot girl are all down in Florida together now, and they won't be back until some time next week. I was supposed to go too, but - well - shjt happened. I called the cops back in CT from South Carolina. They were so sweet to me. They took my complaint over the phone and I will be seeing the officer either tomorrow or Monday. I gave her both Gerry's cell phone number and BIL's. She has probably spoken to both of them by now. I'm sure they're all having an "I hate Marion" party as we speak. That's fine with me. I am planning a party of my own. I'll call it "Everybody hates me, nobody likes me, let's go eat some worms." I certainly have nothing to be ashamed of in this situation. They can't say the same.
Anyhow, I fixed that idiot girl alright. What mean and vengeful thing did I do? Why, I defrended her on FaceBook. HA! That'll teach her! |
Please do what you can to take care of YOU....your bil behavior is
wrong and you are a strong, smart woman to see it. Dont let anyone else make you think differently. Big hugs and continued prayers.:hug::hug: |
:hug: Marion :hug:
I'm so glad you have some peaceful time alone to sort through all of this. Others behavior can be such a puzzle sometimes. I cannot imagine living with violence and fighting everyday. I just cannot fathom how some people exist like that. I agree with you that filing a police report and insisting on a restraining order is the best first step. Keep a paper trail from now on. And please.....always let a trusted friend or relative know what your plans are each and every day. Even if it's jut an short email to them. Somebody you trust needs to know where you'll be at all times. Since you've got some time alone it might not be a bad idea to make some preparations "just in case". By this I mean take some money (cash) and put it aside in a place that is easily accessible to only you....possibly a savings account in your name only......but keep a little with you. Keep your car's gas level on "full". If you take prescription meds keep a week or two supply of them in your purse (properly marked) so if you need to grab your purse and go you'll be ready. Make an extra set of house and car keys and hide them somewhere other than inside the house so if yours are taken you can still get away (or get back inside). I'm not trying to alarm you but it's hard to think of stuff like this when you're in a hurry and afraid. You're in my prayers. :hug: |
Marion - I'm sorry you are going through this. You do certainly sound like a smart, tough lady. I'm so glad you aren't just "taking it". Hang in there and stick to your guns.
Also, Kitty gave you some great advice please consider taking it. I do hope everything works out OK with your husband and he protects you from his crazy brother from now on. Any man who would attack a disabled woman in front of her husband (his own brother!) really has a problem. You are right that he needs help and shouldn't be on the loose. We are here for you when you need prayers, advice or just to vent. ((((Marion)))) |
Kitty, you are one smart cookie. I can see where you are coming from with your suggestions, and I am way ahead of you. Gerry and I have never been “one,” so to speak, financially. We got married when I was 40. At the time I owned outright my own home and my own business, and I was not one cent in debt. I still have enough cash invested to keep me afloat for a year or so. I suppose that Gerry might want to dump me if I press charges on his brother. That would absolutely break my heart, and I can’t imagine how I could survive such a thing. On the other hand, I’m disabled. How much you wanna bet I’d get the house, which I already own half of. And how much do you wanna bet he’d have to pay household expenses and utilities because he is a working business owner, and I am no longer able to support myself.
I married Gerry 23 years ago. He is a wonderful man, and I love him more than I can tell you. But if he thinks that I am going to stand for one minute being treated this way he is sadly mistaken. My handicap van? Mine. I paid cash for it. I’m not going to say that my mamma didn’t raise any fools. She did. I’m just not one of them. So how come this tough old broad can’t stop crying? I’m going to go build myself a bubble bath. The kitties will line up along the edge of the tub and look at me as if I were crazy to even touch water. It’ll be fun. Perhaps I’ll even get sleepy, but I’m not going to force myself. I have plenty of time. Gerry won’t be home until Wednesday. He has already called once wanting to know when I’ll be with the three of them down in Florida – just as if nothing happened. I let the call go to voice mail. He has no idea what’s going on, and I want it to stay that way until I visit with the police on Tuesday. He knows I am safe, he just doesn’t know where. Perhaps he needs to miss me for a while, ya think? |
Thinking about you Marion :hug:
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Marion, you're the smart one here! I'm so relieved to know that you have your finances in order and that they're separate from Gerry.
You know, death, family issues and stress can turn the most compatible people into someone you (and even they) don't know. I can tell you from experience that the death of a family member can bring out the absolute worst in those you'd never see it coming from. You're in my thoughts and prayers, Marion. Keep your guard up and always expect the unexpected. If it were me I'd live like those three were just around the corner....not all the way in Florida. Quote:
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