Feel like stress is going to defeat me !
 

Aha ! I'm not having a good month... I'm full of stress... Experiments not working... Too many papers and power point presentations to prepare... And the cherry on the cake ?

My phDs acting like queens and not helping me ! :( this is so frustrating... They made me feel so bad and sad today...

I need to organise with the 3 of them my final presentation of the semester... Aha, NONE have time for me... They treated me bad when I was trying to sort that meeting out...

Argh...

Feel so exhausted...

I could sleep the next 100 years... :(

One of those days when I really hate my career and question why I'm doing here ! I feel like I can't do anything correct ! :(

As this wasn't enough, one of my 3 bosses scares me... I hate to talk to her... Ugh :(

will you get to spend some time with the family for the holidays?
I am sorry it has been a rough month for you.
somehow stay focused on the things that need to get done and try to ignore the rest.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Thank you Bizi...

Yeah... I will have 3 weeks off hell that I will spend with my parents mainly... But right now, I feel in a black hole....

here is my hand let me help you out of your hole...
((((HUGS)))):hug::hug:
bizi

Dear Majo, :hug: :hug: :hug:

In three weeks you will be on Christmas vacation!

You can handle a few morons and some pressure for a few weeks if you know it is going to be over. Try to be strict about your sleep. Sleep can help.

I know what you are going through. I am counting down the days for my Christmas vacation-- December 18.

M.

Aw, Bizi and Mari, that was very sweet :hug: :hug: Thank you !!!

Im feeling terribly bad tonight... migraine and fibromyalgia all courtesy if the stress I had this morning with those arrogant women I have to face again tomorrow...

Aw... I feel coward... :(

Hey Blue... I'm really sorry you are having such a rough time!!! It is so NOT what you need right now!!!

I may be way off base here... and please feel free to tell me so...but... have you ever told them how you feel when they act the way they are acting toward you?

I used to work with some women with who had really strong personalities... I kept quiet because they scared the beegeebees out of me... finally I had to speak up because I really needed their help and couldn't continue my work without them.

It wasn't easy, I started out by saying...You may not believe this.. but I feel afraid to talk with you ladies. It frightens me and/or makes me feel frightened or makes me feel bad when you do this, or do that, or you speak this way, or say this or that...

They couldn't deny my feelings. It opened up a whole new work relationship... they didn't know they were making me feel bad of uncomfortable.

:hug: My heart is aching... wanting to help but not knowing how.
Abbie

I really don't know what to do... I'm so scared :( I need to ring those bad women tomorrow again :( Don't want to... Seriously... :(

I hate to make phone calls and now with thse arrogant phDs even worse... One of them cut my call today because she was so busy :eek: what was I supposed to do !? Ring again !? How long after that ? Argh... Feel like throwing up ! :(

feel the fear and do it anyway. yes call her back.
With thought, write out a script of what you want to say then read it to her.
this will help keep you focused.
good luck tomorrow!
hugs to you tonight!
((((((HUGS))))
bizi

Aw Abbie !! I think we were posting at the same time... :o

It felt so good to find your message !
Yeah exactly !! I would love to let them know how I feel... I feel panic !! I would also love to tell people I'm sick, so, everytime they treat me like they do, I loose hair, feel pain and get a migraine... Oh yeah, and need and overdose of my pills just to try to ease the pain... But I don't think those morons would understand you know... :(

I cant even imagine myself speaking to them about my problems... They are always busy, with their hypocrital smiles... They are pathetic... One refused to talk to me saying she was busy when she was looking at pics oF her last week vacations !! :eek: That's the people that make science in my country... Awesome...

I'm... Desperated... Dissapointed... Sad... Mad... Frustrated... Argh... :(

Bizi... I will follow your advice! Hopefully she won't cut the call before I can say a word... :(

Dear Majo,
We know you. We know that you are strong.

Write down what you need to say first.
Then telephone.

If she hangs up, telephone again.

Bizi gives good advice. :cool:

M.

Ugh... Seems that I won't sleep much tonight... I'm feeling baaaaddddd... One of those days when even the idea of closing my eyes scares me... Argh :( AnD all for morons... If I could ignore them or even better, deplete them from my life... :(

Thanks for all the support !!

Illegitimi non carborundum
 

Dear Majo,
I'm sorry that you are feeling down.
Focus on the end goal. Think about what you need to do to finish and move to the next stage of your career.

Don't let the losers grind you down.

I focus on unpleasant people for the few minutes of the day that I am required to. I make sure that I focus a lot on the good people I have to deal with. Those good people deserve my time and attention.
Is there one decent person in your lab?

It is helpful sometimes to commiserate with other people from work so you can help each other deal with losers. I had two phone calls tonight -- I helped my colleagues and they helped me.
Both my colleagues reminded me about the good parts of the job and about keeping my head up. I did the same for them.

M.

I hate that you have to go through that feeling, so much pressure. Maybe one day our dear friend will be the one to invent the miricle pill or cure to get past that crap of feelings in life. To be strong, and compassionate, love yourself our friend
di

You know what dear Mari, while I think about it, I just think everybody in my university is corrupt and unfair... :(

Girls that I thought were my friends, are selfish, corrupt, fake and lazy... I don't know... I have always done my things under the law... Fairy... But, maybe that's why I don't advance ? How sad is that... :(

Ae. Di :hug:

You made me feel special when I know I'm not :hug: Thank you for your words... I have no clue why life has to be this hard and unfair...

I hopoe thatyou were able to get some sleep last night....
hugs to you today
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Bizi :hug:

Slept like 4hours which is better than nothing... Today I Was feeling a zombie... I dont remember clearly how I did my experiments of trhe day.,.. :rolleyes:

On a positive note... I rang this woman, and surprinsinglym she seemed to dislike the other monster too... :rolleyes:

I have 3 bosses, A, B and C... C being the most important and the one I rang today because yesterday was so busy...
A is my main boss, being the most sweet but the least improtant... and B, B is the witch, the monster.... ugh... arrongant as you cant imagine !!! yesterday treated me like a bug... made me feel a parasite...

Im so tired.... this end of semester is going to kill me... ugh.

well that was successful! glad that you were able to talk to boss C...the most important one.
good!:hug:
bizi

Dear Majo

my eyes are closing and i have to sleep ... can't manage to read through the thread at the mo, but i get that you are having a hard time...

for now, may i just leave you some hugs? i will try to catch up tomorrow!

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~ sending good thoughts

Dear Majo,
I understand. I've been in difficult work situations.

Please believe me when I tell you that I know you and I know that you can handle this. Be strong. Remind yourself that you are good at your work. Remind yourself that you will be on vacation in three weeks.

'Sending lots of hugs and lots of good thoughts. :grouphug:
M.

Yeu are right Mari... 3 more weeks of pure hell ! But then... Holidays... And my fav ones !!!

Bizi you are right, I considered yesterday a success... Can you believe I haven't speak to boss B ! ? She is definetely the worst !! Hate her to be honest... Argh

Waves :hug:

Bosses can be mean. They think it's going to make you work harder,or they find you to be a easy target to vent their aggrivations on. After a while,it is not healthy for the person being vented on.

I got treated meanly when I was working as hard as I could over a period of years,and suddenly I realized I've had it. I resigned,and left,and there was a message on my phone when I got home. They asked me to please come back,and I did. They treated me better,but after several years more,I had it,and resigned with a months notice because I had been there for so long a time.(14 years).

I'm changed by my experience with mean bosses. I know when anger builds up more,and more. To this day I am damaged. Some people can just shake it off,or let it roll over their shoulder,or let it go in one ear,and out the other. These where things that I couldn't do. I guess that I'm very sensitive. Some nights when I was trying to sleep after a bad day at work,the things that they said to me where coming up,and spilling around in my head,just tormenting me. I wonder why people are so mean when they can get away with it. BF:hug::hug::hug: :mad:

((( Majo ))) i am counting down the weeks till the holidays with you. :hug:

Steve,

me either. i hate when ppl tell me to just let it roll off, etc... i try but it doesn't "work." :(
that exact same thing happens to me. the stuff just comes up in my head. involuntary instant replay overnovernover. blechhh. :( i am sorry you suffer with this too. :hug:

i too wonder how some people can be consistently vicious. don't they ever feel it? don't they ever hurt for it later? (when i act mean out of anger or whatever, then later, i feel very badly, it hurts me.)

~ waves ~

I think that some employers harden their hearts a little at a time. I saw my bosses become meaner,and meaner over a 14 year period of time.

They had many stores,and they lost them all. I was glad that I resigned a couple of years before they toppled. BF:(:hug::hug::hug:

I've had some pretty nasty bosses in my time- all of them were women. I've also had a couple of nice female bosses, too.

Since I don't work anymore, I'm distanced from all of that. I have a hard time remembering how hard it was not being able to tell mean people to **** off.

Blue, I hope you can use your upcoming break as the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sorry that things are so hard for you right now :hug: but press on, we need a smart lady like you in the sciences!

Kay

:hug: :hug: Thank you so much for your comments and thoughts dear friends :hug:

These have been the worst 2 weeks in a while for me... :( Im soooooooo tired... have headaches all day... My vision is blurry... my mood is the worst... :(

I really really want this to be over...

Im going to doc on monday... uff... I have a list of symptoms... it's gonna take us hours and hours... I have lots of stuff to tell him...

Oh man... I have been hallucinating... I want to think it is due to tiredeness... stress and nothing else...

Love ya all ! :hug:

Dear Majo,
Listen to your body.
Or listen to me:

You need to get some rest.


Please.
M.

Blue,
 

Dear Blue
 

Are you on any medication that can help? I hope so. I'm on three medications that are helping.

As Mari said,please get sleep. Try to form a sleep cycle,and stick with it. I need to do the same thing.

You are very valuable as a person,and you need some quality sleep.

I go in ,and out of these mental health episodes. Right now I'm above water,and the waters are calm. Sometimes I feel like Im in the twilight zone,or in a sinking ship.

I'm sorry that you have been going through a ruff time. When you have a intimidating boss,that puts you on edge,or knocks you off your feet. I understand. A mean boss will try to make you think that you are worthless,but that's not the case at all.

It sounds like you are doing good work,and are conscientiously trying to do your best. There may be fellow workers who are jealous. It can be a horrible head trip.

Please try to relax,and get some sleep. There is another verse in Isaiah 50:7

For the Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded; therefore have I set my face like a flint,and I know that I shall not be ashamed.
(King James Version of the Bible) BF:hug::hug::hug:

Thank you dear friends,

You are right... I think I need to sleep... I just can't :(

Guess what, my luck is the worst... Every end of semester, I need to present my project's results to my 3 bosses... Well, I couldn't reunite the 3 of them :rolleyes: so I will need to present my work twice... And here comes the bad part... I will present to the mean boss alone !! Just she and me at her office ! :eek: nobody else will be there to try to defend me or anything ! :eek: I'm soooooooo stressed ! :( Don't want to ! Don't know how I'm gonna do it !! :( She scares me ! Buuuuuuuu....

I'm not taking meds right now, but I'm thinking doc will give me a bunch on monday :o.

I love you so much :hug:

Dear Blue
 

Try to put all of those things into the Lords hands. Put this boss in the Lords hands. Ask for God to put this bosses heart into His hands. Remember that you where created,and have a reason to be here. His yoke is easy,and his burden is light.

Yes. Please try to get as much sleep as you can. The more sleep,the better you will feel. I wish that I could give you sleep. I would give you as much as you would want.

I'm so sorry that you feel so bad. I know what you are talking about. I hope that you can get as much support as you need somehow. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Blue
 

I went into the other room to get my Bible,so I could show you where those verses where. It's in Matthew 11:28,29,and 30.

There's another verse in Psalm 9:4. The verse is saying...For thou hast maintained my right,and my cause;... .

Dear Blue. I hope these verses make you feel a bit better. BF:hug::hug::hug:

blue you can do this.
I know that you can...I believe in you.
YOu are a strong woman...please take care of yourself.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

Dear Blue
 

Are you getting some rest this weekend? It may be a good time to catch up on some sleep if you can. Blessings BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Majo

sorry i haven't been as present as before... work is really taking me out of commission. on the weekend i catch up on sleep... or sleep catches up with me whichever way you look at it.

anyway, past couple nights i have popped in to catch up with reading mostly. ii see that you have a big presentation coming up, which this time has turned into 2 big presentations.

when are those scheduled?

i am *really really* hoping the pres to the witch-boss is scheduled after you have done it once. but in any case you will be alright, i am sure. you are diligent and good at what you do. you will be able to handle the academic stuff.

now emotionally, i realize it's hard. and it is hard not to let the emotions get in the way of everything, too. i think that some of this fear is because you care so much about your work. if the outcome did not matter so much, it would be like, yeah whatever so what. i wonder if you can also draw courage from the fact that it matters so much. you put up with a heck of a lot all semester through. it takes courage and constancy and determination. so i know that you have those in there.... ;) gotta give it one last wallop.

good that you are seeing the doc and i hope he can help you feel better.

definitely sleep deprivation hurts big time. what can you do to get more sleep? i know you usually take B complex, and magnesium... have you been keeping up on those? what else has helped in the past? have you been observing good hygiene?

are you going to bed and then having insomnia due to anxiety? if that is the case, i wonder if your doc would agree to giving you a little valium, just to get you through this period. you won't get addicted taking it for just a couple weeks and then tapering, and you won't need much. you could just take it once at night, to calm you down when you need to sleep!

i am glad Steve helping you with readings from the Bible... maybe some of those selected readings at night before bed would help soothe, also?

if the sleep problem could be fixed, all the other problems would be so much easier to deal with.

take care. i will be reading and thinking of you, even if i might not respond much these days, until my whole being gets used to working again... :hug::hug:

love

~ waves ~

You my dear friends are the best in this planet, and I will keep saying that until the last day of my existence... :hug:

Steve... Thank you so much for the verses !! :hug: I have been reading them and I have calmed down a bit... when I start thinking about the presentation, the fear come back and then I read the verses again and pray and feel better again and so so on... we all know those cycles huh ? :o May God help me in this one...

Aw Bizi, thanks a lot... you know, I dont have many people rooting for me around... I think that's why I have low self-esteem and feel so insecure... so, your words always make me feel stronger :hug:

Aw my waves... I think about you always you know, keep you in my prayers and I understand you have been so busy and tired too ! Look at me, myself cant log in here as much as I would love too ! Silly work and silly tiredeness... :o But I do appreaciate your thoughts and prayers, your vibes and everything... I mean, I feel them you know :hug: I know Im not alone and please, feel the same as Im always thinking about you :hug:

Shame is, the first presentation is with the witch.. :( oh well... we will see what happens...

Doc tomorrow finally thank God !!!

Talk with you all tomorrow.

Leave you my love here.

OMG OMG :eek: In 30 minutes ill be alone with witch boss talking about my project... Ouch

I'm sooooooo scared !!!

Dear Majo,

You did not go in there alone.
We are with you. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

How did it go? Are you ready to see the other two bosses?

M.

Phew... I survived Mari !!! You are so right, I could feel I wasnt alone !

I have too many things to tell you... First, presentation today... Thank God this woman was in a good day today it seems... I gave her cookies and she seemed to like those... :o She told me Im doing a great work, and, she said only positive things about me and my project... Im gonna take classes with her next year, so, let's see...
I will see the other 2 bosses next friday, and I think Imr eady :)

Now... Doctor...
I went on monday and it looks like I have hormones/ovaries problems which are aggravating my previous conditions... :rolleyes: :( :mad:
Doc gave me medicine... Im feeling baaaaaaaaaaad ! nauseous, sleepy, stomach flu... having bad times here.... :(
Hopefully side effects will go away SOON ! :o