Suicide Safety Plan
 

Okay, this afternoon my psychiatrist listed me as a high suicide risk. This basically lists me in some databases and there goes any life insurance I may ever want. Because of my TBI I do not believe I will ever get better; I have been fighting to get my Aricept raised to 23mg to keep me from major decline. It isn't a no, but my dr wants to wait. Most of my responses to life is emotional because I cannot remember what I said the day before. My dr wants me to go to DBT therapy.

My doctor wrote out a safety plan for me but he asked me to add to it and that is where I need help. I am going to share my suicide safety plan but if you read this, you have to promise to add something. I have been basically wanted to jump in front of a subway on January 1 at 11:11am but AT THIS MOMENT I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND (There is always Nov 11 is what my stupid mind thinks)

Okay, without further ado.. the suicide plan my doctor gave me. Remember that this is my plan. I need help to add to it.

***

Step 1: Recongizing warning signs (These signs indicate that I may be starting to get suicidal)
1. Feeling down on myself
2. Things are never going to get better
3. I just don't feel like I have much of a life.

Step 2: Using Internal coping strategies (These activities may help me distract myself from thoughts about suicide)
1. Watch TV
2. Go online
3. Try to find websites to talk me out of it.

Step 3: Social contacts who may distract from the crisis (These social activites and people may help me distract myself from thinking about suicide)
1. Being with my dog
2. Clean my house

Step 4: Family or friends who may offer help (These are people that I would be willing to talk to about my thoughts of suicide in order to help me stay safe)
1. Suicide Hotline (800) 273-8255
2. My dad

Step 5: Professional and agencies to contact for help
1. Therapist
2. Psychiatrist
3. 24-hour emergency treatment (911)
4. 24-hour emergency VA hotline (800) 273-8255

Step 6: Making the enviroment safe (these are steps I will take to limit access to means to kill myself)
1. Stay away from trains when I am feeling down.
2. Reducing alcohol intake

***

Okay, there it is. Lonely me exposed to the world. I think part of me is trying to save my life. All I ever wanted is someone whom I could look at their face and say I love them. I ask for a lot. I am not perfect; and this is a time I need help. Help.

July63
 

Don't do it.

please read my post in


the water is warm thread please

Know in your heart i would be devestated

david

Sit on your hands

Smell freshly cut flowers

I watched the video in your signature. I feel I look like a heavy Micheal Stipe and I walk like he does in the video (2:43 for example). I have a guitar (left handed) and this is one of the songs I wanted to learn so I could sing it solo (but I am not smart or brave enough).

WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO SING THIS TO YOU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AwPds6U-fU

AND THEY WILL

DAVID

PLAY THIS ONE HUNDRED TIMES BEFORE ANY RASH FOREVER DECISION



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CkKuA86Mis

DAVID

Bruno Mars song made me sad, cause I may never know the love that they sing about, but thanks for the video

Please understand when we all stand together we are much stronger as individuals

understand please my intention is not to saden you but to give you HOPE

you are doing a good job, you are taking my thought to the videos, I am not a hurtful people (my weakness) and I hope i didn't offend you.

did you see my princess on the animal thread?

I have spent twenty odd years with guilt and remorse for attempting suicide

though i live with its lure every day even as i write in my drunken post christmas pre new year self pittying stupper i beg you july63


take time out................6 months at least.......times willl pass and this current anguish will lessen i sincerely promise you it will...................

(((July)))
 

What to do if you are alone and thinking about suicide.
Sit down and breathe deeply. Breathe deeply again and again.

Turn on the lights or open a door or window.

Pick up the phone and call a friend, even if you have to call collect. Talk to the operator
if you don't have strength to dial the number.

Say your name out loud. Say your friends' names out loud. Repeat and combine these
names with your name.

Cry, even if it means weeping bitterly. Scream; "God, why am I in such despair? Why
did you do this to me? Tell me why."

Pray. Say: "God, help me. Please give me a reason to live."

Touch yourself. Feel the rapid beating of your heart.

Turn on the television, radio, or stereo.

Close your eyes and think about The Wizard of Oz or chocolate ice cream or giraffes.

Get out a photo album and look at the pictures of your family and friends.

If you have a pet, pick it up and hold it tightly.

When you have the strength, get out from where you are. Go to the movies.
Go to the shopping mall. Go to a neighbor's or a friend's house. If you
are afraid to drive, run as fast as you can for as long as you can.

Get yourself to where there are people. :grouphug:

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.
I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.
I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.
Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.


Start by considering this statement:

Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.

That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/muchpain.gif
Don't accept it if someone tells you, "That's not enough to be suicidal about." There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.
You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.


Now I want to tell you five things to think about.
1You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
2Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.
3People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.
4Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.
But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

• Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans
• Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TTY:1-800-799-4TTY)
• (In Australia, call Lifeline Australia at telephone: 13 11 14
• Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999
• Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
• Call a psychotherapist
• Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen

But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.
5Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.


Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.
Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/balance.gif
Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.

Now: I'd like you to call someone.

And while you're at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out these sources of online help.
Additional things to read at this site:

• How serious is our condition? ..."He only took 15 pills, he wasn't really serious..." if others are making you feel like you're just trying to get attention... read this.
• Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
• Recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.
• The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.
• Resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.
• A 4 minute depression quiz ...maybe you have depression and want to find out right now, scientifically, at no cost.
• Symptoms of depression ...the specific symptoms of a full blown episode of clinical depression

Do you know someone who is suicidal... or would you like to be able to help, if the situation arises? Learn what to do, so that you can make the situation better, not worse.

• Handling a call from a suicidal person ...a very helpful ten-point list that you can print out and keep near your phone or computer.
• What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal? ...a helpful guide, includes Suicide Warning Signs.

Other online sources of help:

• The Samaritans - trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day to listen and provide emotional support. You can call a volunteer on the phone, or e-mail them. Confidential and non-judgmental. Short of writing to a psychotherapist, the best source of online help.
• Talk to a therapist online - Read this page to find out how.
• Depression support group online: Psych Central Depression Support Group - Please note: this is a very big group, but amidst all the chatter, it is possible to find someone who will hear you and offer support.
• Psych Central has a good listing of online resources for suicide - and other mental health needs.
• Still feel bad? These jokes might relieve the pressure for a minute or two.
• If you want help finding a human being to talk with in person, who can help you live through this, try reading this article about how to Choose a Competent Counselor.

Sometimes people need additional private help before they are ready to talk with someone in person. Here are three books you could read on your own in private. I know from personal experience that each one has helped someone like you.

• Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul G. Quinnett, PhD (Continuum, 1989, $8.95, ISBN 0-8264-0391-3). Frank and helpful conversation with a therapist who cares. Order the book
• Choosing to Live: how to defeat suicide through cognitive therapy by Thomas E. Ellis PsyD and Cory F. Newman PhD (New Harbinger Publications, 1996, $12.95, ISBN 1-57224-056-3). Another conversational book with practical help for suicidal persons. Order the book
• How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention by Susan Rose Blauner (William Morrow, 2002, $17.47, ISBN 0066211212). A very practical survival guide by an actual survivor. Order the book

I may hold you to this.

Thank you Alffe. Myself, I am going to take my medications (I have 9 meds a day) soon and go to bed, I made it through another day. I am scared in a way, cause the train jumping thought comes to my mind a lot, but like my dr said, stay away from trains.

grr, facebook :)

Re: Cassie
 

This dog is as sweet as she looks.