My Mom
 

I took her to the ER today. She has a broken hip. The doctor said that since there was no fall that it can be quite worrisome that you have a broken hip. They did a CT scan and she has several tumors. They will do a biopsy during surgery. She will be 86 in 3 weeks, has A-fib, several mini strokes, COPD, HTN. So they have to get her clotting level to a level to do surgery. They are going to give her plasma tonight to do that.

So sorry for your dear Mom. She has sure been thru a lot, lately. It's so hard for you, I know...Take care not to overdo and end up in the hospital yourself..:hug:

Sending prayers up for your Mom.and for You, too.:hug:

Doydie,
So much at once.

So sorry to hear this, Doydie. You and your Mom are in my prayers. :hug:

Keeping you both in my prayers:hug:

That's an awful lot for an 86 yo woman to handle... and her daughter...

Please remember to take care of you too, Doydie~

you both will be in my thoughts and prayers.

((hugs)) :hug: and prayers.

Sending good wishes, please keep us posted.

FWIW many times when an elderly person falls and a break is found the actual cause of the fall was the spontaneous break and not a result of the subsequent fall. :(

She ddn't fall. That's the mystery, plus we have all the tumor like images on the CT scan.

She is in surgery now.

As a paramedic nurse we usually suspected that the bone in the hip would be so fragile it would break causing the fall, not the fall causing the break.

Hugs to mom and yourself. :hug: Please let us know.

Hugs to you and your mom. Perhaps some of this explains her recent decline and the pain that she has been in. I hope that you get some answers soon and that she will come through this OK.

Doydie,

As said already, this is a lot to deal with for an 86 year old. I know you are very concerned waiting for the surgical report. This is a lot for you to deal with also.

You both are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us informed.

Doydie - Keeping you and your mom in my prayers. :hug::hug: Please let us know the outcome.

Doydie, thinking about you and your Dear Mom.:smileypray: :hug:

I haven't checked in tonight. I am very grateful for such caring people here and on face book that don't even know me. I mainly keep in touch through all this on face book because most of my family can keep in touch.

OK, so how is she. Her surgical pain is being well controlled with Lortab. But she has these severe spasms in her groin and crotch area where a lot of her pain was before surgery. In my 30 years of nursing I never saw any spasms of pain as hard as she has had. Only Dilaudid IV has taken care of them.

Today my DH,SS and I toured 4 nursing homes. We do have an actual rehab center here but they do 3 hours twice a day of therapy. Mom can't do that. Mom has said for years that us kids should never hesitate putting her in a nursing home when the time came. Then she saw my mother in laws room. Her tune changed a little bit. Our favorite place accepts only Medicare and not Medicaid. She is not on Medicaid, yet.

Our conference with the oncologist is at 6:30 tonight. She had a CT scan of the chest today to look into the density in one of her lungs

My prayers are still with you and your Mom, Doydie. :hug:

The oncologist talked to us tonight. It was a huge surprise when he told us she had stage 4 KIDNEY cancer. We were prepared for the stage 4 report and I knew they needed to find the primary site. It has spread to several area in the bones including a couple of small pelvic fractures and the liver. The lungs are OK. He gave us 3 options. #s 1 and 2 were either a pill or IV that would cost about $3000/month and give a life expectancy of an average 11 months. The 3rd option was to do nothing and it's life expectancy was an average of 8 months. So for $3000/month she may get 3 more months of life. So we will start with the standard 3 weeks of therapy for the hip repair and go from there. She says she is ready to go yet she isn't ready to talk about hospice. She thinks she is going to have 3 weeks of therapy and go back to her life of 4 months ago.

To me I just don't know how my sister and I can do hospice. My sister has had to use a wh/ch to get to my Moms room at the hosptial but she says she is willing to stay 8 hours a day with her to care for her.

hospice is amazing! the nurses are so caring, so helpful and willing to educate you and hand hold the entire family thru whatever lays ahead.

I am sorry for that diagnosis. if I can help in any way, please write me.

I am also sorry about the dx. I went through lung cancer with my Grandma just 2 years ago and know what you are going through. We also got the dx in the hospital after Grandma broke her hip. We tried a round of chemo for Grandma, but she just didn't respond well and I think it did more harm than good. The particular chemo they gave her affected her ability to swallow and things just went downhill from there. I have often questioned that decision. If you want to talk more, you can PM me.

I agree with Deb that hospice is an amazing service. Just so you know, hospice can be done even if she is in a nursing home. The hospice people just take over the meds and supplement the nursing home care. All meds through hospice are free and they advocate for the patient. If it is 1 AM and your mom is in pain, the nursing home isn't going to be able to do anything, but hospice will. I seriously had a hospice nurse on the phone at 1 AM who had their doc on the other line ordering new pain meds for Grandma and then having them dispensed and delivered from a special 24 hour pharmacy.

Perhaps your mom just doesn't know that hospice isn't just for the very end stage. There are people who have hospice care for years and who are not bedridden. I think if you talked to someone from a local hospice, you could show her the benefits.

I'm so sorry to hear of the dx, Doydie. Dej is right....hospice is amazing. Looking back I know that I could not have survived (with any good sense) without them when my Dad was so sick. I hope your Mom is comfortable and knows that you and your sis are doing your best to care for her. You're all in my prayers. :hug:

Hospice is wonderful. My Mother passed away in peace there and they were there for us, as well. You can have some hospice care at home and Medicare pays for that too.

((((((Doydie, Mom & Family)))))

Hospice is great!

I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.:hug::hug:

Prayers and Hugs go out to you :hug::hug:

Doydie, So sorry to hear of your Mom...my Mom is 87 and we moved in almost for years ago...so glad she is with us. Hope things will work out with your sis. My Dad passed six years ago...cancer and Hospice was great service and Medicare paid in full the whole thing. Dad really got mad at me for set it all up however only seven days later he was gone....know my prayers are with you...take care of you!!

http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/j...ch_praying.jpg

tomorrow is supposed to be transfer today. Mom told us that the doctor said Sunday but she has a habit of suggesting what she wants and then expecting that it will be done that way. So when we talked to the nurse she said everything is ready for tomorrow. My brother is coming from out of town and she wants to be up in a chair with a pretty gown on like nothing is wrong!!! He is a hospice chaplain wants to see the nursing home but Mom doesn't want him to see it at all. Like if she doesn't talk about it that it won't happen.

Mom has always wanted to die at home so when the time comes we will try to get her to accept hospice. The thought that Hospice pays for meds and such did sound good to her though

I hope mom changes her mind after she is surrounded by such lovely, hard working, caring, compassionate folks. They have a way about them that is 2nd to none. I hope they make her happy, comfy and feel safe.

GL on your day. We will be whispering prayers for you. :hug:

Good luck on transfer day. Let us know how it goes for you Mother. I'm hoping for the best for her.:hug:

My brother and his son came today. My brother is a hospice chaplain and his son feels very estranged from the family due to some of his bad choices during his teen years. He was unable to come for Christmas and when he found out it was more than likely Moms last he was devastated and had to come see her. So My brother was very patient and explained what hospice was and what it offered and explained in the way that only he could how this journey might take her. As they were getting ready to leave and shortly before her transfer was to occur she had a severe pain crisis. She would not let any of us kids in the room as she didn't want us to see her in pain. It took awhile but the nurses got it under control and she was transferred. the driver let me ride with her.

When we got to the nursing home they brought out this huge pneumatic transfer thing, it transferred and weighed her. It really made the standing easier.

I explained my emotions to my husband this way. I kind of feel like all the business, hard work, emotions of getting everything ready for Christmas. Not the wonderful Christmas feelings but the frustrating physical excertion. then it's all over and you have this huge feeling of relief but I still have this whole journey for the next several months that is going to take me on this roller coaster. All I know is that right now I am physically and emotionally exhausted but my Mom doesn't even want her church friends to know she has cancer. So how can we expect her to ask these people to help my sister and I to be caregivers along with us.

In a way I hope that she very quickly comes to this harsh reality that she isn't getting better and qwe can get along with the planning so we can get some help.

You are a good daughter.:hug:

I think I have had my first normal day since last Monday. Mom had a better than expected therapy session today, the food is good. She looks good, pain is liveable. I was home by 6 PM, did my Egg buddies and Wheel of fortune on face book, got several shows off my DVR and feel normal!