Sadness or depression?
 

I can't really tell if the feelings I've been having are just plain ole sadness or depression. Is there a difference and where do you draw the line?
I've had a lot of changes in my life recently and I know they can be major life stessors. But there are times I utterly cry myself to sleep and just feel so......unhappy. I know I should be strong enough to pull myself out of it but I just can't seem to.
My mom died in early 2009 and I miss her terribly. We moved quite a way from where we lived before and I just don't feel comfortable in my new environment.....everything is so far away.....Walmart is an hour away and the small town we are in has....nothing to offer. I never feel comfortable driving long distances so I guess I feel a bit trapped.
I can just start thinking about some things and start to cry....like at the drop of a hat! Maybe I am just feeling lonely? My husband is not a talker and doesn't like to go out to eat or anything.
I'll be 53 this year and still having a menstral cycle so I'm not sure if its hormonal or not.
I mentioned to my GP that I've been feeling really sad and she didn't seem too concerned about it. Its not like I feel like ending it all....but I don't really feel like life is worth anything either.
I take Wellbutrin but that doesn't seem to be doing much. I have an anxiety issue that I wish I could get some help with. I'm scared to drive on any road where the speeds are over 55 mph. I used to get frequent "spells" that I call "off balance" or "like I'm floating" and while driving I would panic cause I just didn't feel like I was "one with the car". Maybe like I was moving separately from the vehicle. Very hard to explain and I think I have developed more of a phobia of driving over it. So that makes me feel even more trapped and unhappy.
Sorry this sounds more like whinning than anything....but I'm not sure what direction I should take to help myself.:(

hi karilann,

i'm sorry you're going thru this.
i understand. i once dealt with depression.
i think your dr is being too quick to dismiss you.
one way you can tell if your feelings are depression is if it's lasted more than 2 wks. i think that's the cutoff. i'm not positive.

there are tests you can take to tell if you're depressed. you might be able to find it on the depression forum here. sometimes you need to try another AD. i've been thru several. when a med doesn't work there's others to try. talk to your dr about that. i believe that paxil helps anxiety as well.

you might also consider some short term therapy. not even a psychiatrist but a psychologist. that will be less expensive. if you have insurance it may even be covered.

you're not alone karilinn. and, we're here for you.
please stay in touch.

Karilann,
 

:hug::hug: first of all....

I am certainly not an expert and have not medical background. But I agree that your dr was not listening well enough and you may be the type of person, like many, who try to be so brave and tough....and for you to actually say to your dr that you are so sad was a huge statement and you really meant it, for real... and not just casually in passing.

I have been sad...AND I have been depressed....I HAD counseling at one time, and I Have been on antidepressants. So I do know there is a difference. Right now, I am sad. But....there was a time when I said, "I am SO SAD ALL OF THE TIME....that is when my neuro gave me antidepressants. He talked with me about it and really listened. He knew that I am not just a complainer, but that if I said it I really was serious.

It was several years ago that I received counseling from a clinical psychologist. It helped me a great deal. I also had to take antidepressants. But I wasn't on them forever. I have also been on Effexor since I was dx with ms. But I am off of it at the present time.

I hope you get the help you need, but it does seem that you may need more than just a :hug:....even so,....more hugs to you from me...:hug::hug:

I'm coming back to this later when/if I have a few moments of lucidity. What struck me (and shook me a little) was that I could have literally changed a couple of words and signed my own name to what you wrote. :hug:

I'm so sorry Karilann :(. I totally understand what you're going through. I'm with B2y on this one. If I changed a little about your post it could be me.

I lost my mom recently also. I moved very far away from family and friends a few years ago. I don't drive very often either.

Please keep posting and talk to your doctor again. I haven't had much luck with antidepressants but I haven't given up on them yet. :hug::hug:

If you are suffering from panic and depression there are medications and counseling taught coping skills that shoud be able to help you.

I'm sorry your doctor didn't pay more attention although I have to say often GPs aren't comfortable with psych issues and frankly some of the prescribing I have seen from them would make one wish they referred the patient to a psychiatrist or NP and didn't bother trying to write the script.

You definitely have stressors but feeling sad and anxious for a majority of the time is a red flag imo and I'd rather see you get help now to avoid the chance that things will get worse. Please keep us posted. :hug:

I am suspicious of Wellbutrin and its long term effects. I am not just "anti-drug"--I take some--but I am particularly suspicious of "anti-depressants". I feel this MIGHT be making you worse.

However, the circumstances of your life are very trying. You have been removed from several of your key life supports, including your mother and your former neighborhood.
Your husband may be a very supportive person, and worthy of respect, but he doesn't talk much, so you don't have someone to talk to in your new environment.

I don't have any specific advice, as I too am lonely (a widow of two years) and mostly without friends, as I can't get "out" much any more. Life has become negative, but I find that as the physical world becomes more negative the inner spiritual life is increasing.

(((((karilann))))) I didn't like Wellbrutin at all...didn't help and made me nervous. My Fav AD for my Anxiety + Depression was first Buspar then Paxil.

I'm on Prozac now and love it, but that's only because the 6 years of Paxil cured my anxiety attacks. Wellbrutin and Prozac are not good for peeps with anxiety, because they give you a bit of a toe tapper feeling(upper):eek:

Please keep us up to date. We worry you know..:hug:

Hey Sal,
While Prozac can cause jitters in some folks it is also prescribed for anxiety and panic disorder. :) Its an oldie but goodie imo and what I like as a first line of defense to try.

Prozac was actually the first one I did try, but had to get off of it, because it made my anxiety worse.:eek: I love it now though and it is also neuro protective...even better.:)

Sally, Dr. Sullivan actually recommended LDN and Prozac as a "killer MS combo"! He said that Prozac has many neuro-protective qualities and it, along with the LDN, is a really effective med combo for MS. :)

I think he got that idea from me..LOL!!

Some of us cannot take Prozac, just a slight admonition. If it works for you, good. I can't take any antidepressant and Prozac produced the worst reaction: one pill, Emergency Room.

Every AD I have ever gone near have made my constipation unbearable and I didnt notice any real change in my situation. After some therapy it has been decided that I am frustrated, not depressed, as true depression can be helped by the ADs.

Never go without the meds if you need them tho. :hug:

Karilann,

The problem with wellbutrin is if anxiety is involved it can cause that symptom to increase. I can't take Wellbutrin for that reason. Prozac makes me a zombie and a complete couch potato...no energy whatsoever.

Anti-depressents can be a trial and error to find what works best for you.

It is possible some of what you are feeling could be related to perimenopause.

If you keep track of your cycle you might find a pattern to some of your sadness. I am almost 50 and have started having moods swings, crying with no known reason, and random sadness. I have dealt with depression in the past...this does not feel like depression. I have started taking a Phyto-estrogen (natural, OTC) and I think I am seeing a difference but need more time to be sure.

Your mothers death, feeling isolated due to the move, a husband who does not communicate or like to go out and the possibility of perimenopause...who wouldn't feel sad and unhappy :hug:

Talk to someone...your doctor, therapist, psychiatrist.

How are you doing, Karilann?

Yes, karolann, what she said..:hug::hug:

I hope you are starting to feel better too!:hug: Check in with us when you can.:hug::hug:

Still Here
 

I've decided to get my thoughts together and tackle this head on starting with my G.P.

I want a hormone count

I want some help with my anxiety/phobia. I need to make her understand how unhappy this feeling makes me.

AND I can't bring my mom back but I also need to keep telling myself how unhappy she would be that I have allowed myself to feel this way

I think if I felt comfortable driving again......I would regain some of my freedom and therefore some happiness.

Even writing this makes me still want to cry. I feel so.....pathetic.
Thanks to everyone for talking me down from the ledge! I need to put on my big girl panties and tackle this head on at full force in a proactive way instead of feeling sorry for myself.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
And the wisdom to know the difference. AMEN!

I would like to toss another one out there that hasn't been mentioned yet. I am somewhere in the depression/anxiety/frustration category. I am on meds (LOTS of them, lexapro at night and cymbalta in the morning for the depression). I am also in therapy.

One thing I have discovered about therapy.... one hour only begins to uncover what needs to be talked about. And poof, time is up. I started keeping a journal. Just a few short sentences at first bc I wasn't really sure how to start. Then, I began tackling more and more and I am writing on average 2-3 pages a day. It's easier for me to type than wrtie and a heck of a lot easier to read later.

Here is what I discovered. I have what I refer to as a cyclone in my head. It's every emotion known to man and they swirl and swirl and there is no stopping them. When i would try to focus on the good : dd, for example, I would be happy and grateful and overjoyed... but these feelings would be short lived before the guilt, anxiety, pressure, regret, instability would all kick in and I would be a mess.

With writing I am able to sit down and sort these feelings out one by one. It forces me to focus one at a time. I also started posting this journal online and I was amazed at how many others were having the same problems and who could relate. I am not saying writing is for everyone or that it should replace other therapies, but it is beneficial for some.

Hope you are feeling better soon. Hang in there. :hug:

Thinking of you....:hug:

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I have been there, and you definitely are in a depression, it may be mild, but it is more than just the blues.

You said you were taking Welbrutin,(for your anxiety?) but that is wasn't helping. I hope you have gone to your dr for an RX of Zoloft or Effexor, or one of numerous anti depression drugs, as others here have already mentioned.

I've suffered from depression for more than 30 years, and its definitely better with drugs. As for hormones, mine are out of whack too. I just started up with HRTs, again after being off for 2 years. I look back now and see I had a very low level depression that kept me from doing much socially. Now that I'm back on HRTs I feel better. My PCP doesn't think much about the hormone counts. But I only want to know how much longer perimenopause is going to last, and she said the test can't even provide a predictor.

I have only one major regret in my life; that I didn't get help for my depression sooner. Not that I didn't see docs, but no one prescribed ADs until I was suicidal.

Please post again and let us all know how you are doing. :grouphug: