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Sorry I've been MIA
Hey everyone, I'm sorry I haven't been active in so long....
Mood-wise I'm holding my own, aside from "irritability" when I'm overly tired. Health-wise I've been better. I've been absolutely exhausted and haven't been able to keep up with things. Fatigue and MS symptoms continue to worsen. Also still dealing with "lady problems." The wide-spread pain and low-grade fevers returned, so I guess it wasn't the Tysabri after all. I saw my MS neuro last week and I restarted Tysabri and had an MRI that (LONG) day. I hope that I'll at least see some relief from fatigue. I hope that everyone is doing alright. I'm going to try to catch up. Kay |
although the news doesn't sound good, i am so happy you wrote to us..
i hope things get better for you bobby |
Happy you took time to post and sorry still feeling so exhausted. Hope that soon something kicks some energy for you.
Tough on these short winter days too...Just want to feel some warmth of the sun for about 24 hrs straight... Check in dear friend, thinking of you, di :hug: |
hello!
thank you for checking in can't believe you don't have better answers to your health issues... sorry about that. take care sleep when you can...rest then rest some more. bizi:hug: |
Dear Kay,
It is good to hear from you. M. |
Thanks to all :grouphug:
We got about 20 inches of snow Wednesday, and they really didn't clean up until yesterday. I was plowed in pretty high on all 4 sides. I really wish my husband moved my car when he left in the morning. So, I fell, but it was into the snow. I feel I've been hit by a mac truck today, but on the bright side, I'm just bruised and didn't have a serious injury :) 2 ladies came to help me. One was able to clear the snow away from my door so I could get in and get my scraper and shovel, but she had to get to work. Then, just as I was about to cry, a young lady from upstairs came to help me dig out. It makes me feel good to know that there are good people out there- even if they just offer, or ask if I'm okay. But I feel weak knowing that I need that help now. Kay |
Hi Kay welcome back.
sorry about the snowy incident. i am glad there were nice folks around to help. but yeah it is hard, that feeling of dependent on the kindness of others. i hope the medical picture starts lookign brghter for you this year. and i hope you find some unexpected treasures along the way. :hug: ~ waves ~ |
Good news for a change!!!
My PT says I'm doing great with my pool exercises :) and I can actually feel some hamstring muscles developing :) Come Hell or high water, I'm starting land PT Thursday! I hope I see some good results for that as well... The better shape I get in, the better I'll be able to handle the inevitable increases in disability. However, I think I'm on my way UP again... Restlessness, racing thoughts. :confused: Hopefully it's just heightened anxiety due to overdrawn checking account (w/ consequences) and TAXES. In the way of BP, I guess I'll find out soon. Kay P.S. I'm almost caught up on my reading here :) |
i hope the PT works well! :)
yeah it is hard to tell in the beginning... hypomania is sneaky..... pad pad pad. pad pad... POUNCE!!! :eek: heheh! ;) ~ waves ~ |
OhKay
Keep working on things. I think you do a fantastic job getting around. Donna |
way to go
bobby |
Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety!!!
Still not sure what's going on yet. I'm jittery and have REALLY lost track of time today (I've gotten absolutely nothing done). But I'm not getting up constantly to do x,y,z immediately compelled to do it. I smoked a little pot last night Hehe. I use it to reduce pain and muscle spasms. It helped a bit, and also produced a nice calming effect. It's "decriminalized" in my state, but no medical marijuana here. All my doctors are aware and do not disapprove. |
anxiety.... even after the pot? em..... i don't know how little you use but i'd expect it to help with that too - even carry over to the next day a bit in terms of calming effects.
very suspicious, IF it's just, plain, anxiety. so it may not be. you mentioned before maybe you are starting to run high (hypo)? could you avoid the weed, just till you have a better idea. i know what i am suggesting can be literally a 'pain' for you :( i am sorry. i am just thinking, for temporary diagnostic purposes: it can obfuscate key sx and mimic others that would help you understand where you are at. (((hugs))) ~ waves ~ |
Hi Waves...
Yeah, I'm on my way up. I'm to attending to x,y,z immediately now- can't sit still- nervous habits in full effect- racing thoughts- having some difficulty differentiating between dream and reality- inanimate objects have human thoughts and feelings. Yeah... Am I a little psychotic? Yes, I'm in a great mood, but I really don't enjoy these feelings. Generally, I'm well maintained on 0.5mg xanax am and pm. I've taken all 4 today without effect. I slept well last night, but I have a feeling sleep won't come easily tonight. I'm usually on my way to bed about now.... I've gotten more done today than I have in a while, delayed by trying to doing too many things at once. Funny, since I have a temp, unusual headaches/facial pain, and swollen/painful right-sided neck and axillary nodes. I need to check in with my mdoc. My pdoc gave me a sample of zyprexa to take for manic symptoms and sleeplessness. One at night, then call the next day to discuss symptoms and plan. I'm going to hold off on zyprexa for now- it's only about 9pm now and a little premature. But I'm definitely going to call pdoc's office tomorrow. This seems to be snow-balling a bit quicker than usual. I have to nip this in the bud as quickly as possible... So I'm already under the weather and these episodes absolutely wreck me. I'm not in great shape and really can't deal with the fallout right now. Well, this is the longest time I've gone without a manic episode in a long time. If it's mania when it lasts for more than a few weeks, I guess it's always mania- my batting average is 1-3 months. I REALLY REALLY hope that if treated early enough, this episode will be shorter and less intense. I absolutely HATE this feeling!!! Will keep you posted. |
Oh, also never taken zyprexa before...
one my way to google to research now. Yea. |
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I hope you knock out the mania before it shows up. Zyprexa can help. We remind each other on the board ( :D) is that you really want to take care of this by Thursday / today so that you can call pdoc on Friday morning. It is hard to get a hold of the docs on the weekend. Good luck! M. |
what medications do you take? I would never take zyprexa because of the weight gain. I am on risperdal which has weight gain but not as ferocious.
I am glad that you are not depressed. bobby |
For psych meds:
200mg lamictal 75mg in am, 150mg pm effexor (NOT ER) 0.5mg xanax 4 times a day, as needed (usually only take 2 a day) 100mg trazodone once a day at bedtime The zyprexa is only for the beginning of the episode to get to sleep, not intended to be taken for an extended period of time. So, I'm not worried about the weight gain. I didn't take the zyprexa last night. I took an extra xanax (5 total for the day) and went to bed at 1am. I probably fell asleep around 2. I thought I was doing okay this morning. I guess I wasn't awake yet. I've been off the wall since 11am. Big Boy kitty is keeping an eye on me. I had my 1st session of land PT today. What a work out! I should be flat out by now, but I'm not. I'm moving very slowly and have lots of muscle spasms. Exhausted, but my mind is dragging me around. My pdoc instructed me to take the zyprexa if I have mania that prevents me from sleeping. Then call the office the next day. She insisted I leave a message with the front desk so they could notify her right away. So, like a good girl, that's what I did (except taking the zyprexa). I'm just waiting for a call back now. She'll probably recommend reducing the effexor, and maybe add something else? I got an answer (from a member of my SSDI forum) about my SSDI backpay concerns that seems to have satisfied me, but I want those other docs so I can start doing the taxes NOW. My health insurance changes over February 1st. I need referrals for my MS specialist who in turn will try to get approval for my Tysabri infusion, which is scheduled for February 2nd. I also need to get a referral for PT and don't know how to go about it- 2 different types of PT, prescribed by 2 different specialists. I don't know if my primary will just refer me or if I have to get 2 more refferals, so the 2 specialists can refer me to PT? I have to call the new HMO. So, all the referral BS and student loan discharges I need from my doc makes me feel guilty scheduling an appointment about being sick. I know it's irrational. I just feel badly about expecting/needing so much and imposing on others. I don't know how to go about all of it. Should I call, go in, or email my primary? UGH. I'll probably be doing something about all that ****ing **** today. I also have already wrinkled laundry to fold, vacuuming seems possible, and I'm going to make some beef stew. I can't take a month or more of this again. I'm jumping out of my ****ing skin... maybe getting to some of those chores will make me feel better and make the time pass slower. Oh, I know it's strange how I space my posts. I just have trouble reading things when they're close together. P.S. Waves, you're right about the pot and haven't smoked it again. |
Hey there Kay... yeah i got nothin against pot its just when there's a lot of stuff going on.... sheesh... it's one more variable, and since it can have multiple effects (up and down... and variants thereof) it's almost like a multivariable in one....
i DO hope your doc gets you OFF the effexor. first thing my pdoc did was get me off the zoloft COMPLETELY and as fast as possible. luckily, fast WAS possible for me, asi hadn't taken it for that long. and i think zoloft is less clingy of a med than effexor d/c wise, even in similar conditions.... even so, i believe my/our(me+pdoc)'s mistake was not removign the zoloft as SOON as depression lifted --- different from, wait till grinning idiot shows up. grinning idiot rapidly turns into very evolved and complicated creature of many ambitions.............. oh how velvety and delicious. not so much those racing thoughts and jibber jabber with bits of temporo-spatial contortion though eh? i am now on so much depakote i literally can't think... lose words, lose trac of phrases, cannot add. forget what i was doing but not becausee i am distracted - mind becomes empty. if you knocked on my skull it would resound. at i risk seeming a dodo at work... i took less these 2 nights, i hoep it helps pad. thought i'd toss out some considerations for you - mostly ones i've made on myself over years of course. good luck. sorry if it isn't a good one... for me it was sucha breath of fresh air it was intoxicating it was hard to take the meds i knew would eventually separate me from an identity i had not felt in years. ~ waves ~ |
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Can you believe the pdoc never called? I normally take 2- 75mg tabs of effexor at night. I've decided to take only 1 1/2 tonight. It is difficult to reduce/discontinue effexor, but I've gone up and down by 37.5mg before. I went to the mdoc after all. Hey! I have a good-sized painful lymph node in my right pit, a sinus infection & now I have antibiotics. Hey gladly filled out and signed off to have my student loans discharged due to "total and permanent disability." He's not worried about all the referrals. I can just call and ask for them as needed and they'll be taken care of. I never got around to vacuuming or making beef stew because of the mdoc appointment. Maybe I'll vacuum tomorrow, maybe not... but we have a lot of snow coming again tomorrow and there will be beef stew! And probably fresh bread (from the bread maker). I'm absolutely wrecked from PT and submitting to my mind's whims over the past 2 days. So much pain, so exhausted. I can't see sleeplessness tonight. Oh, I also had 3 beers tonight. |
Thanks for posting kay. glad that your mdoc was very helpful and am hoping that your antibiotics kick in soon.
hope you sleep tonight. (((((HUGS)))) bizi |
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Take the Zyprexa as instructed. When you get the call back, you can get other meds/ instructions. Mari |
Kay
Sending hugs, and good thoughts. Donna:grouphug: |
I was so physically exhausted by Thursday night I crashed. My mind had slowed down for most of yesterday, but I wasn't able to sleep until after 6am, and then the sleep was fractured.
I never heard back from my pdoc. I will call her again on Monday. I have an appointment with the tdoc Tuesday and one with the pdoc February 8th. I regularly take 150mg of effexor am, and 75mg pm. I cut down to 112.5mg am and left the pm dose as is. Mari, you are right. I should have taken the zyprexa, especially last night. I'm concerned about having the trouble distinguishing dream from reality. Seriously, is this a sx of psychosis? |
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-- does it happen especially when you are waking? -- was it still happening when you mind "slowed down"? -- had you already reduced the effexor when you first noticed it? (((hugs))) ~ waves ~ |
Thanks Waves!
I plan on tapering down the am dose down to 75mg tomorrow. I have done it that way before. The dream and reality issues started before I cut down on effexor. It happens during the day, too. It started after I started going up. For example, if at night I dream I've won the lottery, I get excited and will start thinking about how I'm going to spend the money during the day. I do realize at a certain point that I didn't win the lottery, but then I start again. It's weird. I'm definitely going to talk about it on Tuesday. |
Dear Kay, :hug: :hug: :hug:
Well, it would be fun to win the lottery. At least you have fun dreams. M. |
They're not always that pleasant, but I agree that winning the lottery would be great!
It's just such a let down when I remember it's not real ! :( |
I'm back and forth with my manic symptoms. I'm UP, UP, UP... then I crash... rinse and repeat. This isn't unusual for me during manic episodes. I'm going to run all this crap by the tdoc tomorrow and hope that she in turn contacts the pdoc so I can get her attention.
I'm dealing with lots of pain today, and still lots of drainage, headaches and face pain from the sinusitis. I have to venture out, but have been procrastinating. I'm also worried about what my husband will have to say when he comes home. He had a tumultuous day Friday... lots of changes. The office has been a mess for a while and he has been run ragged. His #1 boss gave his 2 weeks notice, and his #2 boss wants to take that post and says he has been "grooming" my husband for his position. My husband has already promoted twice in the last 1.5 years with negligible pay increases. He has been doing his last position, new position, and the secretary's job (there was no secretary for a while, and the new one doesn't know how to do her job). Also, someone called to say that one of his technicians was smoking a joint while driving. The tech was sent for a drug test, and will be fired if it comes back positive. The office is already short on techs, and most of the ones there keep ****ing up. He fears a merger between his office and one further north that doesn't get enough work. This would mean more commotion, and a possible move to a compromise location. Husband does not handle stress well (heavier drinking, anger). I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he has a much more peaceful day today... UGH. My BFF is coming over after work. He will share today's events with both of us. She may serve as a buffer... I hope. I just popped my 2nd xanax of the day. Still haven't tried the zyprexa, since it's meant for before bed if I can't sleep d/t manic sx. |
thanks for the update I hope things settle down for your hubby....not good for you guys, all of the stress and everything else thta is going on.
I wish you would take the zyprexa tonight. bizi |
I spent 3 hours at the psych practice today... 1st met with the tdoc for an hour, but she called the pdoc 5 minutes in to tell her I needed to be seen today....
I guess what's been going on is more visible to others than I thought, but I had the notion today that things were escalating. I am indeed manic, and mildly psychotic. Apparently they've found through other sessions that I have been psychotic in the past. I also didn't realize that I'm dx as BP1, not 2. I've obviously been lacking in self-awareness. And I thought I was doing well at that! At least I'm still able to raise my hand and ask for help early on when I still can. The pdoc got my message on Thursday and notified the front office that she wanted them to call me and get me into the office ASAP.... and they never called. Then, I guess, I fell through the cracks. She was glad that I took the extra xanax and reduced the effexor. And you guys were right... I should have taken the zyprexa. I figured she would increase the lamictal and back off on the effexor... But the plan is to keep the effexor where I left it and the lamictal where it's been. She hmm'ed and haw'ed about lithium or depakote. She wants to nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand.... I have to take 2.5mg of zyprexa now, then 5mg at bedtime. If it doesn't settle me down tonight, I go up to 10mg. Then I'll be taking 5mg (or 10 if not enough tonight) every night. I summarized what's been going on to my husband. She wants me to call her Saturday so she can get a better idea about more med changes. I have to see the tdoc next week- disappointing because I was at 3-4 weeks between appointments before. I'll keep you guys posted about how all this **** is going. |
i am not sure what to say...it sounds like right now you are in good hands...
you haven't sounded psychotic so i don't know what your symptoms are... i am praying you don't get the big weight gain from the zyprexa and don't know why they don't try geodon or something else....i wound up with diabetes and high blood pressure from big weight gain... i don't know which is worse bipolar I or bipolar II...which is more chronic but less severe.... hang in there bobby |
mania with psychosis usually means bp1, I don't think that people who are bp2 have full blown mania, they suffer more with depression. I am surprised that they continue the antidepressant...that does not make sense to me.
yes wonder why they don't try geodon? you can ask. thanks for the update. ((((HUGS)))) bizi |
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This is a good report. The pdoc wants you on Zyprexa for 4 days and then wants to re-evaluate on Saturday. Zyprexa has worked for you in the past, so you and the pdoc know what to expect. Maybe on Saturday, if you need more help, the pdoc will lower the Effexor. Did you take the Zyprexa today? I hope this works out for you. Mari |
Bizi, She did mention taking me off the antidepressant, but didn't want to make too many med changes at once. She mentioned a few meds, but thought the zyprexa would be best for some reason. I don't remember if she mentioned geodon.
She has to consider all the other meds I'm on, as well as my multiple medical problems tho. I am a big time fall risk. Maybe that's why she settled on zyprexa. Mari, I haven't taken zyprexa before last night. I think I needed to hear from her that it was necessary. I took the 2.5mg of zyprexa with dinner and 5mg before bed, as directed. I still woke up a few times during the night, but slept better than I have been. I haven't taken any today because she only wants me to take it at night. I tend to go up after noon time... maybe because it normally takes until then to wake me up. So far today, I'm not as wacky as I've been the last several days. ----- I strained the muscles in my left (my weak side) leg and knee at PT yesterday. Back, hips, and butt are very sore too. I'll discuss it with the PT tomorrow and see if we have to back off some exercises. I may not be able to make it to the appointment tomorrow tho because they're forecasting lots of snow starting tonight and more snow Sat. and Sun. as well. I guess there is supposed to be a lot, but there are a lot of conflicting reports because meteorologists don't know what they're doing most of the time! I have to call about a bill and refund today. I'm totally ****** about it, and what better time (I'm so agitated) to call! I'm all set with the 2 referrals I requested. Both have gone through. After I'm finished here I'm going to the IRS website to research taxes on shortsale taxes. I just got the paperwork from the mortgage company, and they are reporting an over $51K loss. I can't do my taxes until I get 2 more forms and I'm not going to sit around worrying about the tax implications. I figure I'll feel better with more info. Thanks for the responses. :grouphug: I really appreciate it- so much going on and I hate feeling like this. |
I called the co. about the refund and ran up against a brick wall again....
I threatened and DID file a complaint against the co. with the BBB. I want to do laundry but all the machines are being used right now. UGH! And since it's going to snow tonight into tomorrow, many people will be homebound and doing laundry. I have no clean towels and need to change them out. Still have to get onto IRS website and just remembered I have to call MS Ctr. to let them know about the zyprexa, etc. I'm going to throw a pork butt (for pulled pork) in the oven. At least I'm keeping busy! |
hi kay, becareful with pt...
it sounds like you are getting some things done wihich is good. I hope you sleep even better tonight. ((((HUGS)))) bizi |
Dear Kay, :hug: :hug: :hug:
Under the Mortgage Relief Act of 2007, I think that you do not have to pay taxes on a short sale: http://massrealestatenews.com/short-...-consequences/ http://www.irs.gov/individuals/artic...179414,00.html That's my read, anyway. You know more than I do. I hope that the Zyprexa is helping. Sorry about the sore muscles from PT. Maybe you can soak in a bath with epsom salts. How was the snowfall? Are you inside today having caught up on some of the laundry? M. |
Kay
Thinking about you today. Be careful and have a good day. Donna:grouphug: |
Thank you, Donna!
Bizi, I had to cancel PT today because of the snow. It's probably a good thing. I'm stretching out my legs a bit, and will probably spend some time on the recumbent bike today. I may only be able to tolerate PT once a week. The way I walk is causing some issues with my heels- they're purplish. No open areas tho. I've been massaging them with aquaphor and lotion, but it's not helping. Not really much feeling there. I'm going to buy some gel cushions for heels to see if they help.I'll have to follow up with mdoc if they get worse. Mari, I was able to get 2 loads of laundry done yesterday (and various other things) d/t my bursts of energy. It was a relief. I may do more today. We got about a foot of snow last night, but fortunately my car wasn't too hard to clean. My husband called me at 7am and told me that he didn't want me to go to PT appt. at 8:30 because the roads were too dangerous. I'm going to try taking the 10mg of zyprexa tonight because I am still waking up several times during the night. I'm not letting myself get out of bed and start vacuuming tho. I'm starting to hear ebay calling to me again- I am having the urge to shop. I need money to do the food shopping. I'm going to have to withdraw the money and have my husband hold my debit card.... I can't yeild to these urges because we have no money! |
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