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Feel worse today and basically didn't do anything more yesterday
I woke up ok...within 2 hours was exhausted and my head hurts. I'm wildly dizzy which I haven't been this bad in a while.
The only thing more I did was read a little of my book. I didn't really increase anything. I felt pretty good yesterday too. I only watched 20 mins of tv at night...(we did go out to dinner for a bit...but I felt better in the restaurant than in the past...it was pretty quiet. WHat's going on? Any ideas here?? |
Sometimes I just have bad moments, hours, days for no reason that I can find. It doesn't seem fair, does it?
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aireyden and others,
There is no value to charting each individual day. The changes, whether they are improvements or regressions, take weeks and months to see real change. The anxiety from trying to explain each day would be far too much for me to handle. As we say at TBI support group, Turn the Page. Go on to the next day or even the next moment. Over time, the triggers will start to become obvious, or at least somewhat understandable. Some triggers have a delay before the symptom appears. I can have a good night out and arrive home fine. The next day, I might be miserable. The repetitions of this scenario tells me that it was the good night out that caused the crash the next day. Think of it as a tank of gas. You used up a lot of the gas the night or day before, so when you wake up from a common PCS nights sleep, you are still low on gas. The slightest strain causes a crash. It can take me two days or more to recover from a outing. Sometimes, I store up reserve by being very low key the few days before. I had to prepare for a Work Comp hearing and was able to stay on top of things. After the hearing, I was wasted for almost two weeks. These delayed or prolonged recoveries are very common, even among NT members. As much as I am interested in the progress of others with PCS, I think it is better for the person to lay low rather than posting. The posting tends to aggravate the anxiety from the return of symptoms. For me, the frustration was the worst. Once I learned to accept the symptoms and be free of the frustration, my days started to go better. I could not count how many times a day that I have to remind myself to let go of the frustration. But,,,,, knowing that the frustration only makes matters worse, I have learned to "Be Still." I hope others can have the same success I have with letting go of the frustration. If you only knew how many typos I make while trying to compose a post, you would understand how I need to let go of the frustration. My typing fingers tend to get out of sequence. Tehn, evreythning get smessde up. The red squigglies point me to my mess ups. My best to you all. |
Yeah- being married probably helps in that you can (ideally) tell everything to your spouse & get intimate emotional support.
Single people may be more likely to search for this from a close friend, family member, or a forum, such as this. |
Actually, in my early days of PCS, I did not understand as well as I do now and my family was totally out of the loop. I was somewhat of an outcast with my struggles and behaviors. But I did figure out the need to Be Still.
After an earlier concussion in 1995 or 6, I developed a very apathetic attitude. This did not work well for me. The "I don't care" thought process is damaging. The "I can let go of or get beyond of what just happened and go on with life" has resulted in a much better state of mind and fullness of life. Those in my TBI support group who are doing the best have also learned this 'Turn the page' attitude. It is liberating. The only past that is bad is those times where we over-reacted and made things worse. The rest we can deal with and try to make amends if possible. It is a philosophical or for some of us a religious decision to accept what has happened without making things worse by reacting or over-reacting. It can take some serious and deep introspection. Those of us who comment how our lives have changed for the better even though we still struggle with annoying and disabling symptoms have most likely arrived at this decision. |
Mark I agree...it has made me realize what a wonderful husband I do have...and for that I am greatful...but I still need to get my life back so I can take care of my kids the way I need to and they need me.
I play mental gymnastics with "what did I do to make my symptoms worse today" all day long and need to stop. I think I will finally start to see improvements once I take that load off me...but don't seem to know how. I am learning...do things in very short intervals...doesn't bring on the headache as strong. Like computer...few mins...check here...do bills, etc...then off. Just wish I could stop my mind from racing all day...the what if I try this or that...or what did I do yesterday that caused the dizziness so bad today...etc. |
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Yes, yes, yes, short intervals. It was like I was a butterfly.
Stop trying to fix yourself and then second guess yourself about yesterday. When you start to notice trends, then you will start to find answers. Some are successful keeping a journal. For me it was more ah ha moments when I finally connected the symptom with the trigger. Take small steps and remember to "Turn the page." I am so used to small intervals that I have to set the timer at the stove if I have a pot on. My habit of small intervals causes me to turn away from tasks like the stove easily. So, I set the timer for 5 minutes or even less to call me back to the stove. I do this same thing working on cars. If someone watched me, they would think I am nuts. It is just how my mind works. If I find any kind of thought block, I quickly switch to something else and return tho the previous task a while later. It is very counter productive for me to try to push through the mental block. Sounds like you are learning how to work with your mind. Be patient. These skills are slow to come. |
Mark...could reading be causing the problem....could that make me over stimulated? I only read 60 or 70 pages of my book in 3 days...and in short intervals.
I know I shouldn't be looking for an answer ...as my friend calls it --the mental gymnastics -- but I just want to lay off what brought on the symptoms. |
Reading could be a problem. It was for me. What kind of reading are you trying to do?
I found that I could not read overly descriptive articles. I do quite well reading technical information. I get overwhelmed by formatting that does not have enough paragraph spacing. Without paragraph double spacing ever 5 or 6 lines, I get overwhelmed trying to find the start of the next line. If I tried to read fiction, I was easily over whelmed. There are just too many balls to juggle and keep in the air at the same time in most fiction. The many persons and plots, etc with descriptive terms is too much for my mind to handle. I can crash within a page or two. If it is a newspaper article and the author uses too much "in the know" style, I get overwhelmed. Say the writer is writing about many people who he mentions once then not again until many paragraphs later, the writer will now abbreviate the name Dr Jonathan Strangename as Strangename. I will have to look back in the article until I find out who Strangename is. Otherwise, the writing become meaningless. "In the know" is a common problem with doctors and professionals who live everyday using their knowledge. They forget that not many of us have the same 'in the know' knowledge. For those of us with PCS, the frustration comes when we start doubting ourselves for struggling to understand what the ?????? he is talking about. Our brains want to understand but we fail to understand and start blaming it on ourselves. The basics of understanding the impact reading has is to become aware of the thought processes during reading. Do you reread the same line trying to understand it? Do you lose your place on the page? Do you struggle to keep all of the juggling balls (names, plots, timelines) in the air? Can you remember what you have already read and add to that information? A trick that works for some is to use a reading aid that covers the text below the lines you are reading. By covering the other text, you are reducing the stimulus that your brain has to process. I have to do this if I need to fill out a complex form with lots of fill in the blank spaces. I will even put a blank paper over the text above and below where I am writing. My 80 something MIL and her even older husband have found they can read much easier with a Kindle. They can limit the amount of text on the screen and make the type larger, etc. Many of the PCS symptoms are common to the elderly as their brains deteriorate. I sometimes say that I am a 50 something with an 80 year old brain. I hope this is making sense and is helpful. Everyone has different experiences. I have just had years of various experiences to analyze and try to overcome. Some I do, others I don't overcome. Then, I just turn the page and go on. My best to you. |
More good tips here - thank you. I especially like the idea of blocking out text below.
Aireyden, I just wanted to mention that I too often don't know exactly what has caused me to have a bad day. But I have found that sometimes, I don't have that bad day until 2-3 days after a stressful or overloading event. It's like this: I overdo it on Saturday (shopping, visiting, whatever), Sunday comes and I watch some TV with my hubby, then I start to feel a little more out of it on Monday, so I only do a little more TV or computer. Then, I start feeling a bit worse on Tuesday so I do very little that day maybe 10 minutes of reading. Then, wham Wednesday comes and hits me hard and I'm basically sleeping or staring at a wall with soft music. It quite often takes me several days to recover from this type of episode (lots of staring at the wall and sleeping). GRRRRRR... so frustrating! But, I'm starting to recognize this pattern. It wasn't the little reading I did on Tuesday, it was the Saturday followed by the rest of the little stuff. It's good to know this - next time I have to catch it much earlier and quit while I'm ahead. Hope this helps. Soccergal |
I think you're right because Fri was the day I overdid it...and Sunday I felt the worst!
I did very little on sat.... so how do we overcome it...if I didn't do much on Saturday anyway?? |
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I am trying to figure out what brings on the symptoms to the point of a blasted headache. I keep a log of what I did for the day -- I just don't want to overdo it and have to lay around like I did all weekend.
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well today I went out with a friend...to Target and then back here for lunch. I didn't feel right in Target but not as bad as other times. We had lunch and I tried ignoring the weird feelings in my head...we laughed and had fun. So far..hour and half later..still ok. I didn't sack out exhausted on the couch either. My head doesn't feel normal...but sort of how it would feel if I didnt go out at all....(different than other times).
So...hoping I don't get the blasted headache...staying positive. |
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aireyden,
When you review your log, don't focus on each day. Try to look at a bigger picture. Look for trends, not individual circumstances. What causes problems one day may not the next and vice versa. Over time, you will notice that after doing such and such, you tend to have struggles, but only if you also did something else. You are intelligent. Don't over-analyze. Look for the big picture and take your time. My best to you. |
Mark...thanks. I think that just living gives me a headache. Its everything that brings on the symptoms...and I need to start getting out of the house and doing a tiny bit more each week. Even just talking with my friends brings on weird feelings in my head...dinner with the family..same thing. I have to just start knowing how much is too much.
You're a great help to lots of people here...kuddos for adding so much input and advice to everyone. |
Set some guidelines that allow you some interaction but not too much.
If you are going to talk with friends, make it just one friend. Try to stay focused on looking at the person you are talking with. The brain likes to combine the vision of the lips moving with the ears hearing the words. Discuss with that friend some of the limitations of PCS. I can't talk with someone who uses overly complex sentences. They overwhelm my brain with too many balls in the air at once. I have to stop people and break down their sentences to simpler phrases, etc. I can talk ten times better that I can process incoming information. I need to explain this to others. They think my speaking ability means I can follow/listen to a conversation. Let them know about your need for slow changes of stimulation. No quick scanning of a store shelf. No quick conversation. No driving through congested traffic with talking and the radio at the same time. Try talking with your friends on the phone laying down in a dark room or with your eyes closed. It will free up more sensory processing ability. Have you tried any manual crafts or manipulative projects? Hand sewing, knitting, cross stitch, crochet, painting, etc. Anything that takes slow repetitive tasks with your hands slows the flow of information to and from your brain. The slow tempo can do wonders for your brains attempt at getting stronger. My TBI friend still does leather craft projects as therapy. The kind where you sew the leather pieces together with a vinyl strand. My OT had me try my hand at assembling wooden model-puzzles. I used to spend hours sorting out a huge bin of miscellaneous screws, nuts and bolts. I found it was very good therapy for my mind. It could occupy a lot of time with a productive result. If you try to read, be disciplined to stay away from reading that causes overload. be ready to stop and try something else at the first sign of visual or mental struggle. Is it warm enough to work in the yard, preparing a garden or pruning back plants or pulling weeds? Think small and simple. Lots of little short tasks will fill a day. Make lists of things to do and do the ones that feel right. No need to be perfect or even complete the task. Just try. Do you have access to a preschool or kindergarten where you can volunteer to sit with a single child (in a quiet location) and read to/with them? The shyest in the class need this time and will be eager for some quiet time with an adult. Lots of ideas for you to consider. Find on that works for you and have some good quiet time with others or a paint brush or needle. The personal growth that comes from learning to slow down and work with less pressure is amazing. My best to you. |
Mark...wonderful ideas.
As for yard work...first...we just had 6" of snow in NJ this am...so that's not happening yet and I have severe allergies. But I like the idea of lay down close eyes for talking on the phone...I have a mask that I use sometimes when I really want to relax. I'm learning...felt so much like I was isolating myself...but as I'm feeling better I realize its shorter..and more of a meditation time for me to unwind. I'm working on the breathing exercise...seems to help. I love getting a head massage from my son...or neck/shoulders I learned computer...short 5-!0 mins at a time. I started knitting a scarf...maybe all my friends who have listened to me for the past 6 months will each get one!! |
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