Times They Are A-Changin'.......
 

I knew this day would come sooner or later....just never expected it to happen when I'm 50. :( My eyesight has gotten so bad at night that I won't drive after dark. During the day it's not too bad but my depth perception is not good and that makes me question myself too much. I don't trust my own judgment anymore. It's not fair to others who are driving who do have all their senses about them.

So, I do believe my driving days are over. Not so terribly bad because I really don't have the funds to do anything if I did go anywhere. :rolleyes: Plus, DS is spending more and more time at his GF's place and is usually only home 1 or 2 nights a week....if that much.

I had thought that renting a car when I needed one would work for me and, it would be a good plan, but I just don't feel comfortable anymore driving.....especially a car that isn't mine.

I checked with a local taxi service and it would only cost me about $12 for a trip to the pharmacy and the grocery store and back home. Once or twice a month and that's definitely cheaper than renting a car or the expense of owning one. I've never, ever used a taxi before so don't know the "etiquette" of it all. Do you have to tip these guys? Is it a safe alternative?

Before anyone thinks my kids have abandoned me......I haven't even discussed this with them. I know they'll tell me that they will take me anywhere I want to go but I don't want to depend on them to pick me up all the time. I like the idea of just calling the taxi and being able to go during the day when I want to go. Plus, the boys have their jobs and their friends and I really don't want to have to ask for anyone to make anymore concessions on account of me. I'm just too independent and set in my ways. KWIM? Gosh, I sound like I'm a 90 year old little grumpy grandma. :o

What do ya'll think of this plan? I'm really okay with it as far as being able to get out and go. I'm a little nervous about the whole taxi thing because I have no idea who will be driving. :rolleyes: I'm so untrusting of strangers. :o

Give me your thoughts and ideas. Maybe there is something I haven't thought of. My only other idea was finding a millionaire to marry but that's not looking too promising for the near future. :p

Is there a senior/disabled service in your area?

They often run small buses and pick people up for less than a taxi would cost.

I'd check into those first.

For what it is worth, we drove my grandma and eldest aunt everywhere, since I could remember. It was just part of our life.
They lived together, and didn't go out much during the week.
The aunt was legally blind for driving, but worked okay as a stenographer for the police dept. She took the bus to work and sometimes to shop.
I can't recall any complaints from my mother or dad about it.
But I can see your point about not imposing on others, too.

Kelly, Yes you should tip the taxi driver -- around 15 %. If they help you carry your groceries, you may want to give them extra.

we also have a senior/disables services even in my small town that will take you to grocery stores, Wal mart, doctors appointments, etc. It is pretty cheap.

I cannot imagine giving up my car and license. That will be a really tough day. I do worry that you may be isolating yourself too much.:hug:

YES! please tip the driver. I say if its $12 then give up $15 and a very nice thank you. That is a 20% tip and its generous but certainly less expensive than a rental, and if you are well known as a good tipper, you will get better service. If you get a jerk, who is rude, impatient or just plain ol upsetting please continue to tip, but do so according to the service given. I would stick to the 15% and not a penny more. If you feel you got a rude driver, I would call the company. Get to know your drivers. if you notice that Jim shows up quite often and you really like him, when you call for a taxi you can request Jim when he is available. it may mean waiting an extra 15 to 30 minutes, but sometimes good drivers are worth the wait.

That being said there are several alternatives. Many churches offer rides to and from MD appointments, shopping trips or pharmacy runs to the seniors and disabled of many towns. Also social service places will know if you qualify for a disabled ride. You must tell them ahead of them when and where your appointment is, and can schedule a stop at the pharmacy on your way home.

Many places will let you oder groceries to be delivered to your home. In Connecticut and NY they have Stop and Shop and you order on the internet or phone, and they deliver that afternoon. You can pay by debit card, credit card, pay pal or cash. Its proper to tip that guy as well. Amazon.com also will deliver many things to your door instead of you lugging them. Shipping is free past $25 but there may be a small handling charge. Worth it to save on the gas or taxi fee. Laundry detergents and other heavy things will be at your door instead of being lugged.

Im proud of you for this step. its a hard one. :hug:

Just some thoughts . . .

Definitely look in to the senior/disabled services. Here it is free. The downside, you are on their time schedule. In other words, they drop you off or pick you up but you may end up getting somewhere early and then have to wait for a while to be picked up depending on their schedule.

Yes, it may be cheaper to get a taxi but here again, you have to wait and some places want 24 hour notice.:eek: But, I personally like having my car. I may not drive it much but if there were an emergency with my kids, DBF, or family I want to be able to just go and not wait for a taxi. My car is paid for in full so I only pay insurance and gas.

Also, like you I want my kids to have their own live and do the things that they want and I like my independence. But I think it is important for them to learn to care for others (whether it be me or someone else). It is a life lesson in compassion and love. So, if DSs want to help you out every now and then, I would say let them. Most of the other time you are independent and will do things on your own. They want to do this for you and makes them feel good plus you get some time with them. It can be a good thing and a win-win situation.

Like Barb, I too am concerned that you would isolate yourself. :hug: While I enjoy my alone time, I need to get out of the house at the very minimum once a week. This past flare I was not able to do that and it really got to me. I finally have some energy and less pain that I am planning on my once a week outing. I'll up it as I start doing better. Remember, you are a kind and compassionate person. So, make sure you go out there and share that. You never know how your kindness, whether it be words or actions, can change a person's life.

There is also the city bus. This is probably one of the least expensive but more time consuming getting places and it doesn't always drop you off exactly where you need to go.

Let us know what you come up with. :hug:

I don't drive anymore by choice, but, I keep my Van with a scooter inside, in my garage. It has a trickle down charger on it, so it's always ready to go. I never go anywhere anymore, but it's there and ready whenever I am.:cool::D

I still keep my independence, in my mind, and yet my DD still takes my to the Docs or whatever. In an emergency, I would not hesitate to jump in my minivan and drive, with or without a license.;)

So, Kelly, my advise to you is to keep your car and license forever. You don't have to drive, but you can if you want.:) It's called independence and it makes you feel good.:hug:

P.S I'm glad you didn't say "a 70 year old little grumpy grandma".;)

70's not old (in my book), Sally! Isn't it the new 40? ;)

I don't have my car anymore. I sold it almost a year ago. Didn't make anything off it because I still owed money on it but the dealership had someone that wanted to buy it so I broke even. The payment, insurance and upkeep expenses were just too much on my new budget. I think if I had a car that was paid for and only had to have liability insurance I might could swing it. I won't lie......I would really like to have some form of transportation. I do feel "stuck" here without a car but if I had one at my disposal I'd probably use it all of once a week. And sometimes not even that.

I do still have my driver's license and it's good until 2016.

If you lived next door, I'd let you borrow mine...maybe you could pick me up a few things..:D

As a matter of fact, I asked God to make me better and stronger, so I could get a new license and cart little old or disabled peeps to the store, no charge. I'm working on that!!

You're so sweet, Sally. Just knowing you'd help me means a lot to me. :hug:

Oh heck, you two! If you both closer, I'd take you both around. And, on bad days, between the three of us we could pull it off. :D You know, Sally can be the eyes. My arms work well and vision; but I have no visual memory but I can steer. Kelly, you can take care of the gas pedal and brakes (I'm still having a little bit of trouble with it but it's not too bad). So, what do you guys say? Huh? Go get your sunglasses 'cuz we are going for a ride!:D

Tricia, I think we'd make a great trio. Between the three of us we'd make one well functioning person! :o I really do wish we all lived closer to one another. I'd love to be able to visit in real life and not just virtually. :)

http://i291.photobucket.com/albums/l...dy-driving.jpg

My doggy likes my driving..:D

http://drivesteady.com/wp-content/up...OG-DRIVING.jpg

Oh Sally! Great idea bringing Pal along! I am sure we can find something for Pal to do. Kelly, I think you better leave the cats at home. They don't always do so well in the car and cognitively, we don't need any more distractions.:eek:

Kelly - That looks JUST like me when DD19 drives. :eek: She makes me a whittle nervous when she drives. :D

DS 23 is the same way. If I didn't depend on him (sometimes) to drive me around I would NOT get in the car with him. DS 27 is not much better but at least he's a policeman and knows defensive driving maneuvers. :rolleyes:

Or......maybe I am just getting that bad at driving and it seems like everyone else is the terrible driver! :o :rolleyes:

I've been reading this thread but, alas, no words of wisdom to offer. I'm dreading "the day", not knowing if it will suddenly be here in the near future, or I'll still be saying that ten years from now. We live just down the road from nowhere, and there won't be a lot of options.

When that day arrives, Kitty, I hope I'm able to accept it with the same grace as you are showing.

It can be a hard pill to swallow. I'm not trying to be all "polly-anna" about it but I think there are so many other things that are much worse than could happen to me. Some have happened. :( I guess I tend to compare things to previous events that have happened and, so far, nothing has compared.....thank goodness.

I can still walk. See. Hear. I can get out of bed using my own power and make coffee. Come here on the Internet and converse with all you delightful people. You, too, Sally. :p ;)

I'm looking out the window right now and watching the kitties chase their tails in the backyard. They aren't worried about anything. They have no idea where their next meal will come from.....just that some crazy lady comes out on the porch twice a day talking baby-talk to herself and puts food in the bowls. :o I'm so thankful I'm able to do that.

I have everything I need.....some things I want......and I know that I'm being watched over. It's humbling to lose something like being able to drive. It's something I took for granted for so long. But I'm making the decision for myself and not waiting for it to be made for me. That helps a little. :rolleyes:

*smack* *smack* :D

Awww...a kiss! How sweet. Wuvs you too, SalPal. :)

I mentioned the taxi idea to oldest DS when I spoke with him today and let's just say he wasn't too receptive of the idea! :p He said "Mom, you have two sons. Between the two of us we will get you where you need to be." I told him I didn't want to be a bother to either of them. They're young and I remember how it was.......you're busy and your weekends are sacred. He wasn't budging. :rolleyes: He said "don't make me come over there". I know he was just kidding about coming over but he wasn't about the taxi idea. I promised I wouldn't do that except in an extreme emergency.....like one of the cats was sick or hurt.

I've got good kids. :)

Yeah, just wait till you ask them and they have a hot date or something..LOL!!

You have wonderful Sons.:hug: Mine would do the same if I could ever find one of em in town..:D DD is always available, but I have to let her know in advance...she has so many meetings.

oy, such wonderful boys. pinch them on the cheek for me.

it's so easy to give help but somehow to receive help is so much harder.

I know, Nancy. Why is it so hard to accept assistance? :rolleyes: I have to remember how good it makes me feel to be able to help someone else......and not to prevent my kids from experiencing that same feeling of satisfaction. :)