How bad is your depression and how
 

do you know it's connected to the RSD?

I went to see my Dr. this afternoon and one of my Nurses said that I was dealing with Springtime depression. I ask my Dr. if that was the case how does he explain my Summer, Fall, and Winter depression.

As I told him today, I get so tired of everyone thinking I look good and that I am doing good. When they say that I just do a silent scream in my mind saying hell no, I'm not.

I can tell in what people write on here that they are depressed at times even though some think they aren't.

This is similar to asking about the difference between phantom pain and RSD pain. Is the depression from the RSD or is it just depression on it's own.

I pull myself up for a day or two and then I go right back down again.

I also put on a good front. I am always smiling around people and laughing not wanting to let them know how I really feel.

I will be 60 this year and as I told my Dr. there is no way I want to live to be much older if it's worse then what I am already living and have lived.

Do any of you have thoughts like this and wonder what life is all about?

We also talked about God and prayer today. I do believe in both but sometimes I feel like God is not listening at all to me and never has. Crazy or not?

Ada

Ada,
My husband actually has RSD and has since 2004. He is very depressed. He works and then comes home and just lays down on the couch in immense pain. I am sorry you are feeling the way you are. I guess the reason that I wanted to reply was to tell you that you are not alone. My husband finally decided that he would get some counseling because he did not know where else to turn. If you want to reply to me I would love to chat. I am a pretty lonely wife of a man I love very much...however he has RSD and he is in pain all the time. Getting to know someone else with RSD might help me out. God Bless you!
Carole

Ada,

You are not alone. Depression is so very, very common with many of us that suffer from CRPS.

Are you taking an anti-depressant? If not, consider it. It is also important to find a doctor that understands this and is willing to try some different meds and different "classes" of anti-depressants until you find one that works for you. There are BIG differences in how these drugs work. So far, I have tried 5 different anti-depressants before finding a combination of 2 that help (combinations of these drugs is also pretty common).

And as far as mindfulness, there are techniques and practices that can help. And religion can play a big part too. I use some of the "healing practices" listed in this University of MN website.

Good luck!

http://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/

Hi Ada,
1st I would like to say "no, you are not crazy" just depressed. It is natural to feel this way when you struggle with pain everyday. I would also like to say (in caring way) STOP putting on a front all of the time, that is why people "may think your fine". You need somebody to talk to. You are no where near alone in the depression department. I have had depression/anxiety for years HOWEVER since all of my hand surgeries & now CRPS my shrink states that "anybody in chronic physical pain will become depressed" I heard her mention the word "co morbid" or something like that. In my case, I had always been a functioning depressed person until all of the surgeries & chronic pain. Now the mental part of me is drained. Do I have better days? Sure, but nowhere near what my old better days were. I see a (i call her shrink in a loving way) every month, take medication's regularly and still have bad days.

PLEASE find a professional in your area that works with depression, primary care doc's are not the one stop shop when it comes to brain and minds. Specialists are where it is at, so please, do not deprive yourself of better days any longer!!

always here if you would like to pm me!!
Angela

flipping frames helps ward of depression
 

Hi Ada,

I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time. What really helps me is flipping frames when I start to feel the quality of my life is not worth it. The first thing I consider is my 42 year old neighbor who is dying of cancer and has two children under the age of eight years old. She would gladly change places with me.

The next thing I do is to stop negative thoughts from winding up negative feelings. For instance, sometimes I feel anger and sadness because at age 57 I was teaching classical dance five days a week, could do thirty pirouettes in a row and not be the least bit dizzy, and could physically do what most 25 year old women could not do. Now at age 59 I am lucky to be able to walk a block, have falling attacks, limited range of motion, lack coordination, have memory and word finding problems, have severe cognitive problems and have pain 24/7. I immediately replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. I list things I am grateful for. I find something to give me immediate pleasure, even something as small as gazing out at the spring daffodils in full bloom.

Instead of thinking how many more birthdays I will have to live like this I think of those who are much worse off than I am. I think about how my dying neighbor will be gone by next spring. Then I do something for someone else instead of focusing on me. Even though I can't sit at a sewing machine for more than 10 minutes I make stylish chemo caps for women with breast cancer.

Another strategy I use is to limit the amount of time I spend speaking about my pain and problems in a negative way and replacing that with action. For example, instead of ruminating about how I can't go out in public because I fear falling or someone bumping into me causing an extreme pain flare I decided to get a service dog. When the wait was at least three years and the cost was prohibitive I decided to train my own service dog with the help of a trainer.

Yesterday I found myself dissolving into tears and immediately yelled out "STOP". The tears stopped and I immediately turned the corner and put myself in a better place.

We really have no control over what is happening to our bodies with CRPS. The only thing we do have some control over is our reaction to it.

When someone comments that I am looking well I thank them because given this illness I could very easily not only look unwell but be in bed.

I would love to know what things make you feel grateful. It might give me a few more things to add to my list!

Hope this helps!!

Wishing you a positive day and manageable pain levels!

Teri

Teri,

Thank you for putting things back into perspective for me! Your words have changed my day already~looking outside now enjoying the sunshine and the birds chirping!

Hi Teri,
 

I've got plenty to be grateful for. 2 grandson's, one graduated early in January and is living with me due to my daughter and her husband moving to far away for him to finish. My youngest grandson just got promoted from Sophmore to Junior and my May month is busy with 3 graduations, a wedding and a play and my sister coming up to visit. I have a lot of good friends, not lacking in that department at all. I hear from someone around here everyday.

I also have 3 good friends from Ky. here in Co. and we talk often so I'm not alone.

As far as councellors, been there, done that. I am not one for taking pills. Prozac and Zoloft made me more suicidal so I had to go off of them years ago tried others that I either couldn't take or did nothing for me.

My PCP is there for me day or night if I need to talk and he does listen, it's just that sometimes he needs to step back and think what to do for me next. We are waiting for my PT to end to see how that does for me. He doesn't want me to have to go through a hip replacement. When I go back in, he will have a new ideal. He has actually got me involved in volenteering at a Nursing home. He introduced me to one of my Ky friends and I help her some with her business when I'm bored. We talked for an hour yesterday but as I told him, in the past 2 months my health as gotten worse so that has brought my depression on more.

I think with my kids moving away which they are only about a 2 hour drive and my oldest graduating and getting ready to go off to college with his girlfriend, that is most likely adding to it. My youngest comes down on weekends to stay so I'm not missing out on seeing him. He is doing the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz in May so I will be up there for some time.

My life is full but my condition drives me nuts. My CFS is kicking my but due to warmer weather,

I have 6 brothers and sisters that live in Ky. but call me often. They get worried if they don't hear from me.

So you see my life IS full, my mind is depressed. LOL

Everyday is a challenge to keep myself going lately. My Nurse is having lunch with me here soon. I'm friends with all 4 of them so I have good care, but depression doesn't care what is going on in your life, good or bad, it's there when it wants to be.

Thanks for the help.
Ada

i feel for you i suffer from depression, and alot of people just don't understand x

I am sorry for your sadness,pain and for everyone's on here. I had depression pre rsd and health problems as well as now. For me it has changed though in some ways so I can ses on some days where the physical is causing depression or is it just depression separate.
I remember my pain doctor saying that it is impossible for a person to be in pain for so long and it not impact you mentally. I really agree and why I do feel therapy or psychiatrist is helpful. For me it has not taken away the physical but helped to cope with it better. Though to be honest it is a battle cause I am not a positive person by nature like many on here.
You stated all the wonderful things you have in life but sometimes depression is not about an outside issue but an inner feeling. I can remember feel alone a lot and still do even in a group of people. It was my inner feelings that made me feel that way.
I too have been hit hard with new rsd pain and it is really impacting me mentally on every level. I guess for myself I am just trying to get through the days the best I can.
Dream do you journal? Do you think you may be willing to try some new meds? I have been on so many different anxiety,depression meds and sometimes it is just about finding the right one. What do you feel may help you now that is realistic of course?
Hang in there

Dear Ada

thank you for sharing your world with us. much of what you said i feel and have gone through. i use to think i wasnt depressed. but my body keep changing for the worse and maybe its becoming more than i can handle. i dont like the antidepressants either, i have been on and off them over the years. recently i had been taking st johns wort which was doing fine. not so good right now. i am mostly bed ridden and my hubby takes care of me 24/7. i dont have any answers, i just wanted you to know you arent alone, you arent crazy and this disease does go up and down with out emotions.
it doesnt make sense to me. i dont know what i am feeling sometimes.
i saw you mentioned having a hip operation, i dont know what your issues are, but having surgery with rsd was a nihtmare for me. when i had gallbladder sugery i didnt know i had rsd and i was in excruciating pain, my tissues felt like they were buring, i started to swell and havent stopped swelling. oh i also had another surgery to remove the swollen tissue which made life even more hell and i kept swelling more and now i have 80lbs of swelling on my abdomen. so please think of all your options before your hip surgery. i will never have surgery again unless its to save my life.
im sorry to tell you my bad experience, but i just thought you should know my experience before you go forward with yours.
hugs
Lori

I have a long history of Major depression with many attempts to "take care of" my misery. Since the RSD the depression has intesified and currently the have added "treatment resistant" to my diagnoses. Every day can be a desperate struggle. I am much better off if I am busy and focused on others but generally I pay for this with increased pain. My PCP is also a good family friend for many years, he is my lifeline. I also have a therapist, se is helping some but lately her comments on "how wonderful" I look to her makes me want to snatch her bald at times:(. I have found my mask is well and truely fixed, if I let it slip questions are asked, issues are raised, things are generally not good.
So to sum it up you are not alone in your feelings or thoughts. We are all we truely have as noone else can understand where we are
:hug:z

I don't believe in treatment resistent. Yes you may be a hard case but it does not mean you are treatment resistent. Pre rsd I had mental problems where similar was stated but I did get to a healthy place. I don't feel anyone with depression or similar is treatment resistent. It is about finding through meds,therapy,self help tools and fighting as hard as one can to get to a better place where treatment does work. Any doctor who gives that dx is a diservice because having hope and someone who believes in you through a time like this helps greatly.

Thanks for all of your input.
 

Lori, we are going to put off hip surgery as long as we can. I'm in PT now but that hip pain hasn't stopped yet. Hopefully as we get farther along in the PT it will.

As far as surgeries, I've had more then my share and the ones I had blocks with I did fine. The Anesteologist are getting better at know what we need when we have RSD. I have pain in my right side also. Drs. have said it's the RSD. I had shingles and had my gallbladder out so I don't know which brought it on.

Daniella, I agree on the treatment resistant thing with you but I do believe they can only get us so far. I can't do the meds. I tried St. John's Wort years ago and had the same side effects from it that I had from Prozac. I have tried all of the depression meds. Due to stomach issues we have pretty much backed away from trying them anymore along with most any othe med.

I have dealt with depression from the time I was a child. I was suicidal as far back as I can remember. I can remember telling my Dad, I would like to kill myself and he told me what the Bible said about suicide. I remember that so clearly. My Mom and Dad were good parents even though they had 10 of us to contend with.

After I fell and developed RSD, I had a complete breakdown. I signed myself into a place and because I couldn't take pills they wouldn't keep me. They didn't want to take the time for councelling me. That's when my PCP said he'd do it, 12 years ago. He saved my life, no doubt about that one. He kept his whole office on call for me if I needed anything. While he was helping me I remember he was helping a 15 year old boy too.

I've came along way but I still deal with the suicidal tendencies and depression even though my life is busy and I shouldn't have time for it.

People are right though. We can be in a room with a 1000 friends and still feel like we are alone. I sometimes too feel like I should start walking and keep walking until I come to the end of the road. It's a strong feeling.

I do know it's a chemical imbalance also that we deal with along with the RSD.

I can spot a depressed person too. When they start talking to me and I listen to their drawl and what they are saying. I have a good good friend that is as bad off as I am and she has a prestigious job and can't let anyone know it for fear of losing it. We talk often. Even though I'm this way, I don't want to let anyone stay this way if I can help it nor lose anymore friends to suicide.

Thanks for the help.
Ada

I feel you, I wouldn't say I'm depressed right now just incredibly anxious and the Valiums and Klonopins only can do so much. I just want to know wtf is going on with me.

I just wrote for like 20 minutes then couldn't post it. What a waste of time lol, sorry I couldn't be of more help.

Oh and what does PCP stand for? I need to know cuz it conjures up messed up news stories I've read when I see it lol.

Hi Dan,
 

I've written long post and lost them too. You know what finally relaxed me about doing that. I figured it was something God didn't want me to post. LOL

PCP stands for Primary Care Physician and PA stands for Physician Assistant.

I'm sorry to hear about your depression. It seems to be common with RSD.

Ada

I am sorry for all your pain on every level. I was thinking of this post today cause I saw my ex step dad I call dad for the first time in 4 years. I realized how sad and alone I truly am. I knew it but some things like this and talking about old time makes me feel it more.
I very much agree about the chemical imbalance. I feel I had this even pre rsd.
I also have friends with a lot of mental struggles and it breaks my heart too cause I know the pain one experiences.
Sorry this is not much advice. Do you journal? I may have asked that already. Sometimes that can help. Also I know you stated you had some changes going on with family moving away and sometimes it takes time to adjust.
Sending happy thoughts

Hi Daniella,
 

I journaled for about 4 years everyday. I have the journal put away. I hate looking back on how things were, it just depresses me more. Nowadays I can't concentrate on journalling for some reason. My mind doesn't stay on one thing long enough to write it down.

My kids moving away was hard but Dustin is here with me and Travis still works here in town so they are all still in and out. It was hard though. Devin comes down almost every weekend too.

You can tell the difference in the depression too, what is connected to the pain and what is major depression.

I went to PT today. I make myself go. It is helping though so that's good.

Feel better soon girl,

Ada

I Live Where I get Semi Assisted Help[ for Depression ,PTSD even RSD
 

Hi I get help here in Oregon and if I can come up with enough to move I'm going to live in a new Section 8 type housing .I don't think anyone who has RSD could not be Depressed ,I was once a person now Im a bundle of pain ,self respect and most joy (except music and lady friend I see onnce a month and a couple good friends in Oregon )
It's true I would have PTSD so prolly depression anyway
GH
rsdno

Deb it sounds like you are being proactive in helping yourself. I am not always and need to change that. I see sometimes when I don't want to do something but end up pushing I feel better about myself.