MS is winning the battle :(
 

I really feel like MS is slowly winning the battle. I can't walk well at all, forget too much, and am sleepy all the time. I'm really worried. Work has been very stressful lately and I feel like I can barely function sometimes. I've tried and tried to follow my ethics to not be a whiner but I need to let somebody know how I feel like I'm losing this battle. :(

Sorry you're having such a bad day. :hug:

Have you mentioned any of this to your Neuro? Does your employer know you have MS?

Maybe you could take a few days off and regroup. Sometimes a change of environment helps.

Be sure you're getting enough vitamins....especially B-12 and D-3. I cannot emphasize how much those two supplements have helped me.

Thank you Kitty. Yes, they do know but not all of them from me. Thank you for listenting to my boo hoos! I was off two days since I was not able to get out of bed. :( I can't wait for this weekend.

I hear ya, Doc. Take a deep breath and say, "in with the good" when you let it out say, "out with the bad" .. I do that, some days, a lot.:D My mind tells me it's working...sort of like a self-hypnosis..:cool:

:hug:

Hi Sally,

Yes, deep breathing is good. I need to do that. Thanks the the reminder. :)

hi Doc, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like MS is winning the battle... you said one thing that I feel I really must comment on:
Work has been very stressful lately and I feel like I can barely function sometimes

I was dx in August of 2000 and went back to work the end of September 2000; I eventually got fired from that job and within a couple of months had another job; the stress went up and down at the first job but went from constant to worse on the second; I got fired from the second job in April 2004 and applied for SSD as the stress was causing exacerbation's of my symptoms, increasing cog fog, mental/emotional/physical fatigue I could never catch up to... I went on disability in August 2004 and over the next couple of years felt dramatically better across the board and it showed up in my bi-yearly neuro exams too--within 2 years my disability scale went from 3.5 to 0...

So, until I got fired and went on disability = no job stress, I felt like my MS was winning too. Is there any possibility you could apply for SSD and stop working? I don't know what kind of work you do, but I know my line of work could be terribly stressful and as much as I loved it, I had to stop working.

We all know stress is one of our enemies and I hope you can find a way to eliminate some and feel better~
:hug:

:hug:D0ct0rT:hug:

We may lose some of our battles to MS but we will always win the war! :icon_twisted: muhahaha!

I'm sorry this disease is being so unfair to you and I'm sorry I have no advice to give.
BUT
I do have plenty of HUGS (the fun kind, not painful kind :o) :hug:

i really understand the work issue and how hard it can be to push at your job til you can't do it any better. i had to quit my nursing profession of 35 yrs in '05 after at least a yr of pushing til i thought my job was killing me. my BP was thru the roof from the physical effort of it all. it was just too physically demanding. and then there was the cognitive. that's when i really knew i had to leave.

try to look at each problem and see if you can find an answer to it. you will
probably have to do this with your dr.

checking the B vits and vit D is very important. can you take something for the fatigue? and there may even be something that might help your cognition.
is there anything that would help you that you could change at your job?
if your employer knows you have MS there might be some reasonable accommodation they could grant you to help. that's the law under the americans with disabilities act.

please let us know how you are.

Hi Viseeu,

I don't even know where to begin with SSI. I need to do some research and figure out what is needed. I've been under immense stress for about 7 months from my new clinic. I've tried to talk to her directly and that didn't work. I am well liked by people at work, she has already fired the whole medical staff, a dentist, and is now working on getting me fired. I just keep my head down a do a great job but it's still stressful. I need less stress for sure. Thanks and nice to meet you. :)

Hi AynaDee. Thank you for the hug. :)

Hi NurseNancy,

Yes maam, I take vit D but do not take B. What does B do for us? I already stopped private practice to reduce stress after all of the above but still I keep getting worse and worse. I've tried Provigil and Nuvigil and now I eat sunflower seeds to keep my awake. My new boss required me to work 40 hours so I added another day (10 hour days) and I saw a good number of private practice on my other day. I'd love to cut back to work less hours but if it's up to her, I doubt she'll agree to it. We can never know unless we ask but I'll tell you, she's doing everything she can to make it hard on me. My boss believe she is above the U.S. laws but I can't really tell you more about why she believes that. Things can get better. They can.

I'd find a new boss!!:)

I started taking B-12 several weeks ago and have noticed a HUGE difference in the way I feel, my ability to stay awake during the day and my stamina.

It's very important to take the Methylcobalamin (Methyl B-12). Here is a link where I purchase mine.....http://www.iherb.com/Jarrow-Formulas...enges/117?at=0. Their instructions say to take one every 3 or 4 days but I take one tablet every morning. First thing before I eat or drink anything. It's very important to take this particular supplement on an empty stomach. It has helped me more than I even imagined it would. That along with the D3 is a great combination.

Like NurseNancy I pushed myself to work until I couldn't do it any more. I felt better after quitting, although it took some time. But I know how "thin" life is when you lose a career that was meaningful. I had a husband then, though, so I had something to live for, and we did some traveling. The stress that finally "got" me was when they put in a new rug and rug pad which was toxic. My brain went dead, not a helpful condition for a teacher. I quit the next day...I'd already taken time off over the years and I knew I could not keep doing it. The other teachers resented it. I looked healthy, they could not possibly understand a person whose neurological condition caused various forms of near-paralysis which came and went, and went completely away, and then came back....I had no dx, but got it right after that. Social worker who did cognitive function said I was suicidal. I do not think i was, just so so sad at giving up a career I was good at, and of course also having severe neurological impairment (got the private disability immediately, tested by physiatrist, took 3 years to get Social Security).

It is only natural, Doc, to have a very bad time working when you have MS, so don't criticize yourself. I don't say you ARE criticizing yourself, just don't fall into that pit.

Aw, Doc! I'm sorry you feel this way. I think many of us have gone through those feelings as well.

Is there another place you can work that has more flexible hours and yet not the stress of private practice? Could you switch and only do consult work? I know several people both in and out of the medical field that have switched over to consulting for various reasons - mostly less stress and more flexibility. It has worked well for them. I switched from working in the hospital to doing a small amount of medical transcription at home. It's working out well for me as I do have that flexibility that I need. Another friend of mine switched from hospital work to home health nursing. Another who now works as a school nurse. And yet another who only works a couple of days a week at a children's home on the overnight shift. Several of my nursing friends have also switched from floor nursing to quality care. And one of my dr friends switched from surgery to owning his own construction company. He got tired of the hours and stress.

Remember, when 1 door closes, another always opens. We just have to look to see the new door opening up; sometimes, we have to search for it but it is always there.

Hang in there and let us know how you are doing.:hug:

As of yesterday I guess that boss has been terminated. :) I feel bad for her but feel SO much better at work right now. :)

Good things come to those who wait! :) I'm glad your source of stress has been "moved".

Me too Kitty. :)

and now you can develop a report with the new boss. When you feel comfortable, you can decide to let them know your need for accomodations (if you feel this is helpful to you)

Good luck and feel better, physically and emotionally.:wink:

How are you doing Doc? Check in when you can and let us know how things are going for you.:hug:

I was looking at this thread and your thoughts. Thank you all for the support. That old boss went to work somewhere else and I found out she was fired from there too. Too bad for her.

when i had to face the fact that i couldn't physically do my work anymore, and that i wasn't really safe and didn't trust myself to care for the tiny babies i went to my neuro and told him i had to quit.

he agreed and make the necessary documentation in my chart. he sent me for functional capacity studies which i failed miserably but that also provided measurable documentation that i would need to get approved.

i got turned down the first time, got a lawyer and then got approved. but had to pay for cobra for 18 mos til all that happened. with the ACA who knows now about getting insurance.

get copies of your own records, tests, mri's etc. keep a medical file on yourself. if you apply sent the records yourself with return receipt requested.
i was told to treat my application as a master's thesis. be very detailed and careful. think carefully. when answering the Q's think about your worst day, not your best.

that's what helped me.