feeling hurt
 

Favortism and judgement is all what happens to me at work. My boss is willing to teach others but not me. It hurts because everytime I ask if I can learn something its like I am a burden. Then he is like forget it I will just do it myself. It hurts so much I been crying for two nights straight because of this.
He complains about how slow I am and how I get too distracted. I take ritalin only for him and I am seriously about to pop two doses without confirming with pdoc first! Make myself faster that way!!!! I push myself and push myself and no matter what I just am not good enough. But nothing I seem to do is ever good or right in his eyes. Work very very hard apparently nothing I do is good enough.

I am so miserable I cannot stop crying at all and hubby is not home. It hurts really bad I hate being alone and being me. Wish there was a stop crying pill I can take.

Yellowfever

Dear Sharla,

This sounds awful. 'Sorry that you are going through this.
Do you have to be at work tomorrow?

M.

dear sharla,
where have you been?
we missed you.
I am sorry that you have been crying...when is your hubby due home?
I don't do well if mine is out of town...will he be gone long?
Please don't go up on your ritalin that will not help things. I am sorry taht your boss is being insensitive...could you ask to have a meeting with him to discuss your concerns? with possibly some other higher up there if possible.
thnak you for posting, keep posting we are here.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Yes but with only with the assistant manager. He sees what I do. And sees how hard I work. And today after coming to work crying from 10 am to 2pm. I start work at 2. He gave me a project that made me feel better about myself. But I went home feeling like a loser still and crying more.

I don't understand why he can make me cry so easily and for a long time. Already hours of crying.

I don't remember if you have a therapist....you are sounding very vulnerable and easily hurt. I am glad that you felt better today with the assignment. Only you can control how you feel, maybe you are taking others actions personally...anyway to distance yourself from them. ARe you able to take a day off, call in sick?
bizi
maybe your meds are not right? are you taking a mood stabilizer? to help evenout your moods?

Dear Sharla,
He's a jerk.
You are a winner to me!

I hope you get some good sleep tonight. Sleeping makes a huge difference for me.

M.

I am seeing a therapist. And a pdoc. I am on lamictal 150mg and 20mg ritalin. Ritalin is for work only. The pdoc and therapist has helped me a lot so far. I called and left a message on the machine today to let them know I need a higher dose of ritalin because I suck at life. I asked them to call me back so I can start taking it double the ammount so I can be an acceptable worker.
I will find out tommorow what they can do. I work at 6pm tommorow and close at 9pm with the assistant manager. That is fine because he is accepts me. He said he wants me to quit taking ritalin. He said he hates me on it because it makes me into someone else and not the real Sharla.
The manager said he hates it too but now I have to take it because he picks on me. And he has no faith in what I do. So he doesn't bother with me.

Sharla

For one thing I would get into your primary as soon as possible.

I believe you need a different ADHD medication. Than ritalin.

Not sure how much you take. But its possible that this is not working
for you anymore. I have three son's and with two of them after
a few years of taking it. It stopped working.

They had to go on adderall.


Also you might if you are taking a generic for it. That might be your problem
too.

Please keep posting to us. We want to listen.

Donna:grouphug:

I took aderal before in middle school but I had to stop it because I could not handle the dry mouth and my chest pounding. I take either methelin or ritalin. The pharmacist make it sound like there is no difference so it really doesn't matter so they say.

Perhaps I can try aderal again when I am done with the ritalin. I just bought this months prescriptions.

Thank you D!

Sharla
I am starting to calm down now.

Dear Sharla, :hug: :hug: :hug:

Lean on your tdoc and pdoc so they can help you. :heartthrob:

Maybe more ritalin is not the answer. Maybe ritalin is making you agitated.


M

the method
 

Hi Yelloowfever,

before i had my traing I was alot like you.Everything bothered me,always processing old acts and fearful of the future acts.
I will break this down according to what you have said and add some spots that can help you.
Your boss and everyone around you is outerenviroment and we can;t control any of it.

people do things that annoy us not meaning to annoy us

your boss is his or her own average not right or wrong

nervous people are good observors but poor interpreters

Excuse rather than accuse for your mental health

It only matters what you think not what others think

Do a good average job avoid trying to be exceptional.

The crying habit is just a habit

feelings arnt facts

the will says yes or no

symptoms are distressing but not dangerous

temper has alot of feeling but not much force

expect frustrations and irrations and you wont be disappointed

try,fail,try again and again

Endorse for all your efforts. Going to work shows you have determination and a strong will. What you lack is proper instruction.

Control over the inner enviroment is far more important than a victory over the outerenviroment.

You will get well and stay that way

Sharla

Okay first
you can research please here on the net.

The other drugs for ADHD.
But if I am understanding it right and you are also Bipolar, or have
an mental health issue.

Then you need to make sure what you take goes along with that
medication. Can you give us a idea what you take.

Because there are lots of new drugs for ADHD, but I'd hate to see
you on the wrong one.


Donna:grouphug:


(Also do you take something for your moods, like crying and getting anxious.)

Dear Sharla

i wish i could be there in person and give you a big ((((HUGGGGG))))) !!!! :Heart: but do wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze... give yourself a hug... it's sane, don't worry (pdoc-approved) and it'll do you good.

John,
some of those thoughts are reassuring. i will try to "pull them out of my hat" in a crisis... and maybe practice thinking them when not.

Donna,
good advice also. Yes there have been some med developments in the AD(H)D department.

sending good thoughts and hugs

~ waves ~

Thank you :) today is a better day. And went to work early to avoid the New York rush hour :)
Get to do a project today and I am looking forward to it.

Thank you for your words.