I need help.....
 

I am having a horrible night....actually the worst night I can remember in a long time. Do you ever wonder why you are here? My life has been soooo horrible and tragic. I don't know anyone whose life was as horrible as mine!!! Can anything good come out of somethng sooooo bad! I hate it! My heart is racing and I can hardly breathe...no appretite and can't sleep. Please somebody help me....I am not in the best frame of mind right now. I can't stop crying..... :(

I came across your post by accident while setting up my google desktop and choosing certain news articles to be posted on my desktop.
I am not familiar with "neurotalk" but I was previously part of a different support group for PN.
Coincidentally, your post could have been written by me. I basically had I guess what you'd call a minor nervous breakdown today. I was on my way home from a dr appt. My cousin was driving. I can no longer drive due to my illness. I just started crying uncontrollably for over 2 hours. Yes, I often wonder why I am here. I haven't had an easy life to say the least. I am here to chat if you'd like to. My hope is that by now you are resting soundly and maybe we could chat another time. Any time! I will keep the post open for a bit to see if you reply. There is never a reason to suffer silently. Seems as though we both need some big shoulders right now. :hug:

When you are depressed (as I have been) everything looks so much worse at night. I believed things that I KNOW were not true about myself. Some nights all I could do was "tie a knot and hang on".

I hope you are getting some medical/profession help as you sort things out. It will get better. It really will. I'm praying for you!

Thank you...the things I thought last night were true about myself. I realized all these years I thought I was in a better place than what I really am. Thanks for praying for me...I need it right now.

Thanks littlequeen....I am glad you accidentally found my post. I am having an extremely rough time. By the time you posted...I just logged off. I had to log off and sit still before I did something that I may not be able to recover from. I cried uncontrollably last night and it just hurt so bad. My heart was racing, it felt like someone was sitting on my chest, I was dizzy and shaking. Thanks again for your reply.

Hi ladydeedee,
Is it pain keeping you awake or is it your thoughts? Maybe both?

Do you have someone there at home with you?

Do you have someone near you that you could call and they could come and spend some time with you?

I'm not sure at this point of writing what health issues that might make you feel the way you describe. I know you've posted here in the Depression Forum, but just worried you might have something going on that may be part of some physical illness you have already.

Edited to add:

I just re-read your last post. What do you mean?

You hold on there. You will get through this terrible time. Just have to hold on. Just have to remember the other times you may have felt this way and how you got through it.

Lara,

No I don't have any pain. Just my thoughts. No one close to me that can come to spend time with me (or that will for that matter). I am alone here. If there is physical illness (besides vision) I am not aware of it.

Was just checking...

You hold on there. You'll be OK.

Thoughts. Yeah, those thoughts can be a right pain!

It's midnight where I live. I guess it's morning where you live? I hope you can get a little sleep soon and wake up to a better day. You're not alone.

THanks Lara.

I just checked some of your other messages as I wondered if you were maybe in the hurricane Irene area.

I figure you were.

I'm hoping all your services have been restored by now?

It's a very traumatic experience, ladydeedee. I know, believe me.

You are safe now? Try to get some rest if you can. Even a short nap now and then will help you.

Yes I was...it was hard for me. Yes my services have been restored. Thanks for your kind words Lara. It helps.

I've been there
 

:grouphug: Just over two years ago, I felt the same way you do now. I attempted to overdose. The doctors said there was no medical explanation for how I survived - it could only have been divine intervention. Today, I am soooo grateful that I survived. You're doing the right thing by reaching out. Please know that I CARE and that sooo many other people do too! :grouphug:

It may be hard for a very long time. Once you get over this past week or so, you might find that you have some lingering fears. It's natural. Don't give in to your fears. Talk it out here or with someone close to you that you trust and who you know understands the whole situation. I'm still traumatized by what happened here where I live at the beginning of the year. It just sits in the back of my mind all the times. What I try to do is the old adage of "smell the roses".

The difficult part is being alone I guess. Like me. It's scary when you're alone.

Not sure if you have much damage or flood issues inside your home. I had a bit last summer, but it was nothing compared with most. I just had to get to work and clean up. Took a long time actually. I'm not sure I'm quite there yet myself... just so you know.

You're not alone!!!

Wow! Thanks for that. no flood in my home at all. yes being alone was very scary and difficult for me. I sat through the storm crying most of the time. Thank you for sharing your experience. The state that I live in doesn't usually get hit that hard however as of late it has. :(

Try to get some rest. It will help.

I look forward to reading that you are feeling so much stronger in the days to come. It was an unusual storm. The one good thing about it was that it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

I can hear the sea and I can see a sliver of moon.
I need to sleep.
Goodnight ladydeedee. Please do post how you're doing.

Dear ladydeedee
 

I wonder why I am here all the time. I am so sorry you hurt this bad today. Not every day will be so bad. Depression seems to cycle around what your medical issues are. Keep here with people on this site to talk to. Don't give up. I face medical issues too, where I want to run away and not do anything at all. I wish there were words to help you to stop crying. sometimes I blast my blues music to drown out my crying and eventually I stop. I wish I could hug you, bring you comfort. Those of us in pain, reach out to others in pain, and I am glad you did. Do you have any kind of support in your own house hold, or spiritual family? I made a friend here at this site who has helped me not to give up. Please keep reaching out. I care about you. You are a human in pain and in need. My prayers and hope for you are reaching back to you right now. Try to do one small thing for yourself, even if you are walking around crying. Eat a piece of chocolate, listen to a song, read the bible. do something if you can to "be active", get a bowl of cereal. do something to try to break the crying cycle. I do this and it works for me. I even walk around the house yelling because I am so angry, but I am nibbling on that piece of chocolate. It is kinda of like trying to find a distraction, even for a minute. The people here in this site will try to help too. Be kind to yourself, allow that breath of life to come back into your being. Chemar, has good advise too sometimes. She is a moderator on this site. I will keep praying for you. ginnie

Thank you sooo much ginnie...I just cried reading this. I don't have anyone honestly that is truly here for me. I try to be strong however as of late...everything has seemed to be out of control. I have never felt this out of control. I don't know how I am going to make it. Thank you for your kind words again...... thank you for the prayers.

Thank you Katie...thank you for caring. I am glad you are still here also. THank you for sharing your experience.... :)

Just wanted to post quick msg to you ladydeedee.
Hope you're feeling a little stronger today.

Lady...I hope that if you ever have thoughts of suicide that you will go immediately to the hospital. This is so very important. Do not hesitate...just go and get immediate help!

Talking with friends is always good. Also, please put a call in for a doctor and get an appointment right away! You might need to get on an anti depressant. What about talk therapy? Have you ever been to a therapist?

Depression is tricky business....but not an impossible thing to overcome. It takes some work...but so very worth it when it gets better or even goes away!!!!!!

Do whatever little things you can do to help. Some say certain vitamins like D3, B Complex and Fish Oil are helpful. Is there a health food store nearby where you can ask for help about these things? What about exercise? Can you do a little of this?

Again, go straight to the hospital if you have dark thoughts.

Whatever the case might be, it all starts with getting to a doctor. Please make that call!

hey "ladydedee"its me again:wink:just happen to see your post.we all here know how your feeling .you dont have to describe to us how you feel.we already know..its common,but that does not mean its good:(.being home alone also can have the mind play games with you.i had to get out side activities to keep me going.church and going to the gym.its what help me.its the interaction with people.is what i found the most help if anything.you find a wide source of help there.people, who believe it or not can help you or know someone who can .the stress that i was under was so bad i had to go one high blood pressure pills and "celexa" just so i could get a good night sleep.so please try and hang on.so yes get out of the house,but get out and try and do some social activities(interact):wink::wink::wink:

Try to hang in there. When your feeling low try to relax and breathe.

Hi lady deedee
 

Hi dear lady, and I hope you are feeling better today. I get like that too where I just implode. I come back here for reassurance and comfort. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :hug:ginnie

Where are you ladydeedee? I haven't heard from you in a while! I hope you know that I think about you daily and hope for the best!! :hug:

yes "Girl Friend" we do:hug:

Re: miss lady deedee
 

I am thinking about you today ladydeedee. You have not posted in awhile, and I hope you are about. I care about you. You are not alone and there are many of us who are in your corner. Hope you answer soon and that you are doing OK. ginnie:hug:

Ladydeedee posted on another thread that she was looking for a new place to live. Perhaps she's not able to post to update her situation yet.

Hoping all is well...

hi all...I am still in this whirlwind of a fight. thank you all so much for thinking of me and praying for me. i appreciate everyone of you. i am not able to get on here much which has become my biggest source of support. please continue to keep me in your thoughts. thank you all!

Hi:ladydeedee
 

I won't stop praying for you or keeping you in my thoughts. while I recover in bed, its a good time to pray. ginnie

Update
 

Hi all...I have a few updates. Thank you so much for checking on me everyone. You guys are the best....your thoughts and words have helped me live through this really tough time. I went to the neurologist....I am scheduled for an MRI and EEG next week. They did blood tests. he said my posture was not good indicating something going on and also that i am unbalanced. the diagnosis was psychiatric disease, headache (we will find the cause of it by doing further tests) and rule out encephalopathy (whatevr that is). he was very concerned when he did the neuro exam. he asked would i consider being hospitalized (at a mental health facility). i also seen a new therapist (i didnt like that much due to my social anxiety)...i was prescribed risperdal 1mg (not sure what this is used for) and she also recommended i go inpatient. i am soooo afraid.....my symptoms are getting worse. i am more dizzy (unstable) and have this buzzing noise that i hear in my head which almosts floors me and alters my vision even more.. anyone can relate? Any insight?

RE: just a thought
 

Of course I will listen to you. I care about you, and so do the people who are here on Neuro talk. I can understand your anxiety, especially regarding a possible in hospital visit. Maybe they want to better examine you on a daily basis. Please do not be afraid of going. Years ago, when I first started to become Ill, I didn't do very well emotionally and was put into a hospital. This was a good expereience, and I was able to get the help I needed at the time. My cousin had a similar experience, and was in the hospital for three weeks. That time was well invested and she too got the help she needed to cope. I am here and will always listen to you, and so will the gental soulson neuro talk. don't let the stigma of mental issues stop you from getting the help you need. I talk to a psychologist and I am glad I do. I wish for you all the best ladydeedee. ginnie

ladydeede,
 

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: :hug::hug::hug:

Phyllis:)

Re: when you come back
 

All of us will be thinking of you during the holidays. If you are in the hospital, know that there are prayers being said for you. I hope you are getting the help you need. I will be here, whenever you come back to neruo talk. ginnie