PCS symptoms- overwhelmed
 

I'm a 39 year old athlete (former, I guess), with a fairly long history of concussion/head injury along with countless sub-concussive hits. My first documented concussion was at 19, sustained in a vicious car accident. I was unconscious for roughly a half hour immediately following the hit. In terms of grade two and three concussions, I've had eight or nine. Most from crashes sustained in BMX racing. The second to last one was a year and a half ago, and it retired me from the sport. That was the second most brutal one- it was a very hard hit to the back of my head, I was unconscious for under a minute, very disoriented afterwards, burning sensation behind my left eye, confusion, slurred speech, etc. I was physically sick for almost two weeks after that one with the usual symptoms- dizziness, sensitivity to light, nausea, and a crushing electrical-feeling headache. That one seems to have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Memory issues that pushed beyond the, "oh, you're just getting old" types of things began to crop up. I also believe that after that one, it takes just about no effort for me to ring my bell. My neurologist backed it up after my last one when he said, "someone can pretty much give you a dirty look at this point, and you can get one".

My most recent concussion was in March. I simply bumped heads with my son as I was helping him take off his shoes at daycare. The room went dark, my knees buckled, and immediately I had that, "uh oh- gonna barf" sensation. I walked out of there with a tingling head, and incredulous that I was feeling the way I was from a bump that mild. I fought nausea all day at work, and really didn't want to believe that I had another one. The next morning, I felt lousy, but went out to the grocery store when my wife asked me to pick up some things. I had a random encounter in there with a guy who pushed his cart in front of mine (really not a big deal), but I had the sensation that I really wanted to hurt this guy. It was the angriest I've ever felt, times ten. I knew at that point that something was very wrong, and I left immediately. I had a neurological appointment two days later, and it was confirmed that l had another one- and it was a substantial one, at that.

Since then, I've had terrible memory issues. I forget words, what things are called, etc. It's incredibly frustrating. But the most troubling thing are my mood swings. They're random, and go to both extremes- euphorically happy sometimes, crabby others, and then incredibly depressed, where the sad is like a fog. The bad days almost all seem to start off with a memory issue and go downhill from there.

Today was awful- I felt so bummed out that l could have cried without any effort. I ended up calling the neuro's office for the next available appointment. Frankly, I'm a little scared by all of this, and I'm not even remotely excited about what lies around the corner symptom-wise. Do any of you deal with varied mood swings from your injuries?

Thanks,

Jay

Jay-

This is EXTREMELY common. Many of us ride the rollercoaster daily...

To give you a background, I've had 3 concussions. Two work related, (I worked with highly agressive high school aged boys with special needs). The final one was due to a car accident.

Although I've battled moderate anxiety throughout my life, I tended to feel this symptoms inwardly and put on a good "happy" face to the rest of the world. As for anger, it was rarely something I experieneced. I am an extremely patient person, and it has been a huge gift to me, given the field that I was in.

However, since my last concussion, the SMALLEST thing, pushes me to the point of wanting to snap. Ex: My boyfriend might put a dish in the sink, and I literally want to break the dish over his head because it didn't go in the dishwasher.

After being extremely harsh with everyone trying to help me through this rough time, my concussion dr. suggested seeing a psychiatrist to get medication. It has made a HUGE difference. I take a daily SSRI to help regulate my mood and it really helps me not feel so edgy all the time. When I feel overwhelmed by my symptoms, I still have those feelings like I'm going to snap. But they also gave me ativan to help with acute episodes.

Although I still struggle with PCS, this has helped make my moods go from a huge, scary rollercoaster, to a ride down the road with a few random bumps.

So sorry you are going through this and wishing you health and healing.

oh boy can i relate, my partner has almost the same story, with the multiple, seemingly mild concussions, the effects we've been told are cumulative, and the resulting behaviours unbelievable. the mood swings, and the depressions seem to be the most prevalent conditions related to the traumas. my partner also has seizures, or we're now thinking they might be "episodes" and non-epileptic in nature, which is a scary thing in itself. he had a HUGE adverse reaction to the anti-depressant meds, which b.t.w the leading side effect of anti-depresants are "depression" - go figure, and tried to take his own life, accidentally or not, we don't know. Some brain chemistrys are affected differently by SSRI's, and those that have been "scrambled" by TBI's seem to be most likely to react badly. Mood swings, and anger, and crying, nightmares, anxiety, depression, even Bi-Polar are diagnoses we've had over the 30+years of this cumulative disorder. Be careful, find what works for you, my partner when he realizes he's "spinning" can sometimes go into the dark, and lie down, and just cry, and come out feeling better, (relative term), but most times he just can't catch himself spinning out, and thinks its me, and everyone around him is at fault. For him, its just not getting any better, and his isolation, inactivity, and depression are just making things worse for himself, and ultimately all of us dealing with him, i'm at my wits end, and honestly don't know how to help him anymore. Good luck, i can definately understand what you're going through, and verify that its very prevalent, and similar in my partners conditon

Guys, thanks a bunch for answering my post. It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one going through this. Part of what bums me out so much is not that I'm going through it, but rather that my family is suffering the consequences of it. It's something that I've brought on myself because I never could bring myself to hang up my racing bike until it was too late. That might have been selfish. But now, I have a vested interest in getting it figured out because I want to be the best man that I can be for my wife and kids.

I visited with my neurologist today, and we're working on addressing the symptoms. I haven't seen him since April, and he casually reminded me (with a joking smirk) that on my way out the last time, he told me to stop and make a followup appointment with the receptionists for three weeks later. Guess who spaced out and walked right out of there without making one? ;) Basically, he said, "look- we're going to have to work on this for a while to get you feeling better, but what you feel like each week is unacceptable, and you don't have to live with it." To that end, he's starting me on some sort of medication (haven't picked it up at the pharmacy yet) that I'll take at night. He said it will take care of two birds with one stone: it will wipe out the headaches I get a couple of times a week, and it will also level out the mood extremes. I told him that I typically hate medication and was concerned with losing "the real essence of who I am", and he reassured me that this stuff wouldn't turn me into a robot zombie drone, and that it would just knock down the worst of the mood swings in either direction.

I'm optimistic for success. And I wish you all peace with your respective situations.

Thanks for sharing, and good luck - my mood swings have improved quite a bit as I've progressed in my recovery. Hopefully time, healing, and medications will help you feel better and more stable with fewer symptoms.

[QUOTE=JayF;811970]

To that end, he's starting me on some sort of medication (haven't picked it up at the pharmacy yet) that I'll take at night. He said it will take care of two birds with one stone: it will wipe out the headaches I get a couple of times a week, and it will also level out the mood extremes.

[QUOTE]

JayF,

I completely understand what you are feeling. I'm in the same boat not being able to compete in endurance stuff due to headaches brought on by exertion.

My neurologist's office also has a psychiatric nurse practitioner who worked along with my neurologist to find a med to combat my headaches and inability to calm myself - I was causing myself way too much anxiety.

So, they said that Nortriptyline was a good med for me. It doesn't leave me without expression, or emotionally flat. At first as my body was getting used to it, I was finally able to have productive sleep which the brain needs for healing.

I can use another headache med called Naratriptan before I workout to prevent the exertional headache from starting in the first place.

Take it slow, find temporary hobbies that will let you dispell anxious energy. Give the brain a chance to heal without the stress.

Mike

Immediately after the accident i had no emotions at all. Totally flat affect. Didnt cry much although my situation was extrememly traumatic. Now 5 months later, im pushing my body trying to work overnight shifts in the ICU and have been so exhausted lately that i cry half the day. Crying like i"ve never cried before but not sure what im crying about. I saw my neurologist today and she said im getting worse and need to stop working. Cried half the day. I have no control over it. Its so overwhelming so i can understand where you are coming from. Ive always been a "tough girl", so this is hard to be the pathetic, whimpering lesser version of myself. Hoping things change for all of you!

I had major depression and anxiety flare-ups right after my concussion. I was on a low-dose antidepressant but had to get it increased because I would just FREAK OUT. Of course there was a lot of stress with not being able to go to work and being unsure about income. My mood seems to have smoothed out quite a bit, but I'm also on the higher dose of my original anti-depressant plus a low dose of an old tricyclic for headaches.

I was on the crying bandwagon every single day...multiple times per day. Thank god for my husband and few good friends.

I have for some reason gotten past that (no meds...been there done that they didn't help)

I think this is part of the reason I'm SLOWLY seeing progress.

Prior to my injury July 2010, when the left side of my head was impaled by the corner of an overhead metal cabinet in my office at work, I was THE MOST energetic, positive, upbeat, funny and intelligent person...yes, I really miss "her"....alot. I also had a very flat affect after my injury for months, and was grateful to burst in to tears several months later. Sadly, I did return to work MUCH too quickly (thank you Workers Comp) and struggled daily to "fit in". Quite the challenge as I am a Clinical Nurse Manager in a very busy Outpatient Wound Healing Center!! The mood swings started...but of course I blamed it on working 12+ hours daily, trying to maintain my home and relationship with my boyfriend of five years. In July 2011, I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease, which was a blessing in disguise. A very smart Infectious Disease MD quickly recognized my symptoms as PCS and NOT Lyme...I've been out of work since and am allowing my Atty. to fight my battle with Workers Comp. I'm grateful to be able to rest at home as I need too, but have much anger towards not being able to receive ANY treatment thus far, and trying to cope with all of this on my own. What makes it ever WORSE? My boyfriend tries to offer support, but I think he is still waiting for "me" to come back...and I know that "she" isn't coming back...that I need to accept and manage the "new" me...angry outbursts? ABSOLUTELY...and it is usually over the smallest things, which later...I always end up apologizing for...but when you're dealing with others, sometimes they can be less than forgiving which just exacerbates the depression/anxiety...I've never dealt with depression, anxiety, impulsivety...I have begun to distance myself from people...which breaks my heart as socializing was something I have always loved. Not sure where this path is leading me, but I've learned taking it day by day is the only thing that allows me to continue to cling on to the very little bit of sanity I have left.

Julie,

Have you and your BF read the TBI Survival Guide at www.tbiguide.com

It is a starting point. Also, the YouTube videos mentioned in two recent posts are well worth the time.

Understanding how to avoid relationship triggers is important. The Survival Guide helps. Remember, many of the relationship issues are your injury and not your person. Learn to learn which are the injury and which are not. It makes it easier to forget the outburst and go on. Yes, you do need to learn to learn. It takes serious introspection to separate the two.

Have you had good hormone analysis? Not generic gyn or endocrinologist assessment but by a women's hormonal health specialist. Check https://www.womensinternational.com/..._referral.html for someone in your area.

Hope this helps.

My best to you.