Why Can't I let go?
 

I've been separated now for almost a year and the bad memories will still keep me up. I just tried to go to bed as I got very little sleep last night. However, I started thinking of some more bad things about my marriage. Why can't I just let it go? Maybe if I wasn't so isolated I wouldn't be harping on the bad in my life the past 6 years. I hate to take any Klnopin because they will give me such a bad hangover tomorrow I won't make it out anywhere.

Just ranting.

befuddled2

try to take a half of a klonipin or a quarter to see if this will let you sleep.
WE GOTTA SLEEP!!!!!
I am sorry this is so hard....
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I have been divorced over 9 years now. The bad memories still sneak up on me sometimes. But not as often.

Time. It takes time.

Please try a half a Klonopin. You need to rest. :hug:

Dear Befuddled,
Letting go takes time (and practice maybe).
Go easy with yourself.
I hope that you get some sleep.
M.

((((((Bee)))))),

I've been divorced since 1979 and he's been dead since 1996. I just woke up 15 minutes ago from a dream that starred him (and it was NOT a "happy" dream -- I kicked his @$$ down the stairs!!) :p

Honey, it's not so much the "letting go" technique that you need to learn -- it's more like the "packing the suitcase" technique. You know how when you're packing a suitcase and there's one aggravating little thing that just won't fit but you have to take it along anyway -- you find a nice little corner of your brain to "stick it" where it won't spill all over everything and it won't drool and it won't piddle and you won't always be bumping into the darn thing -- that's where it goes.

BIG HUGS (and love). Don't try so hard to "stop feeling" -- just let things *FLOW* http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v9...urfing-004.gif

Barb

I still dream about my ex husband and usually they're not happy dreams. I understand though about the feeling of being haunted by the past. I have a hard time not asking God, "Why Me?" Mostly about becoming disabled and about my son being autistic, but I haven't found any way to stop thinking about those "What If's" and I know it's not healthy but I find myself doing it a couple times a week.

I think when I lost my old wedding photo album during the last move I lost a lot of old memories that were just fine to lose, however I still find myself dreaming about the ex ocassionally. I'm sorry you're feeling so unable to let go, I just wanted to share a bit about my situation and how I have trouble letting go too, but also to show that you're not alone in having that trouble.

I wish there was more I could offer to help you with this one befuddled, but unfortunately we're in the same boat on this one. I am remarried now and happier then I've ever been, yet I still have moments of weakness where I break down and cry about these things, (most recently last night but I don't feel so bad this morning) but I just tell myself that everyone has those moments and that I need to put it out of my mind because it's only hurting me to think about it all.

Take care and I hope you feel better soon. :)

BF - It takes time. I too have dreams about my ex, not happy ones either. He was a part of your life for a long time, I think it is normal for anyone to still remember and have dreams and thoughts about any type of loss.

Getting out would help, meeting new people. I know it's not easy.

Sending big hugs, Nikko:hug:

Thanks everyone.

I finally went to sleep without taking any Klnopin and got up in time for church but went back to bed. The the lawn mower woke me up later and soon I found myself getting ready to go out. I had breakfast out this afternoon in my hang out and then to the grocery store. I feel so much better today. I was with my husband a total of 12+ years but only married for 6.

I got some house work done even today so I'm really in a better mood. I made a batch of potato salad though and the kitchen is a wreck again.

Thank each and everyone one of you all. You all are very dear.

befuddled2

I am glad you're having a better day today befuddled, you deserved a good day. I copped out and bought some ready made potatoe salad, just because I was craving it this weekend. ;)

Hope tomorrow is an even better day for you. :D

Thank you Pamster, I hope you had a good day Sunday and today.

befuddled2

Thank you befudled, we had a great Sunday, washed my car together and today I had to take my son to the dentist and he did pretty good. No cavaties so that's always good. How was you're day today? Good I hope. :D

hi Befuddled
 

Been a long time, think about you and wanted to drop in...

no advice just a :hug: and some wishes

i'm sorry you are having such a hard time. try to stay away from self-blame. your emotions are quite natural as others have said.

i hope you have good days and meet good people to draw you away from your memories, and into a better future, which you so deserve

((( hugs )))

~ waves ~ of well wishes

Barb
 

Befuddled, sorry to borrow your thread but Barb's post just so hit me...:D:D:D OK Barb, your description of this process cracked me up good! But seriously, a good "model" - or a good skill - for coping... with lots of things... any negative obsession.

it's hard tho. i'm still working on that skill. sigh

~ waves ~ from across the ocean

Pamster, glad you had a great day.

Hi Waves, long time no see. Thanks for the hug. How are you?

Yea, Barbs description was a good one.

befuddled2

Hi - How are you doing today?

Thinking of you.....:hug: Nikko