Why is family so cruel !?
 

Hello MY family.... Because YOU are my family...

Some of you might know and/or remember my family is not the best in this earth.... and this time Im not talking about my parents.... but my 3 cousins, 3 aunts and the husband of one of those aunts...

They just practically told me not to attend their NYE celebration... :eek: :( :mad: According to them, Im sick (I indeed got the flu because all of them were sick during Christmas ! :rolleyes: ) and my father and I are always agressive and my mom is always saying **** :eek:

I swear to God and my grandparents that we dont do anything but accept their offenses to every single thing we say or do.... their chats consist on criticize everything we do, my school, my hobbies, my likes, etc.. and we just listen and try to chat about other things and now this...

Im... sad.... I mean, Who cares, but still.... argh.... family....

Thanks for reading.

Mayo

We are your family is so true. Sometimes, family just can't understand.

period. I'm here and we will listen, when you need us.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

Thank you Donna :hug:

My mom's cousin commited suicide this april.... nobody told us before because in my family suicide is still a taboo...

He was only 34.... and during Christmas they started talking about him and how he might had been "crazy" to do that.... CRAZY !? the only people crazy there were them :mad:

I just dont understand people... they are cruel, selfish, offensive, and when people can handle it and kill theirselves, you are the crazy one !? OMG.... this is too much.

I feel offended.

I do not understand them.

Ugh.... Im crying my eyes out.

Hi Blue
 

When someone puts you down like this,they are showing a lack of love,coldness of heart,and cruelty. They are showing that they don't like themselves,by putting you down,it's a short lived bringing themselves above you. It's causing division,and not compassion.

Someone may be jealous of your hobbies. It's such a wrong thing for someone trying to make you feel bad about yourself.

When they are judging,they are not loving. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Mayo

Brokenfriend, is so correct. They are judging, not loving. They are
also desfunctional, and not worth the worry you are giving them.
Its not easy to listen to or try to forget. And its even harder when
you know that someone took his life, and was so young. I would
imagine, its really playing on you.

I think when it comes to you, they are jealous. That you are and
will make something of your life. They aren't, if you really think
about it. They are just judging someone that can't defend himself.

Remember him like he was. And move on away from this mess of
family. Remember we are here for you. Keep talking to us.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

Aw my friends.... :) :hug: Yeah, you are so wise, are my family and are always here...

When I have a problem I immediately think about you and feel the necessity to come here and post because I know you will help me :hug:

Im hoping on time... I mean, that day by day I will forget this episode and forget just about their cruel words... like, letting go you know ??

They are so mean... ugh....

:grouphug:

Dear Majo

First, my condolences for your mom's cousin. now that you know, you can grieve over him, and honor his memory.

i have seen this taboo thing in action, and it is crazy. a family close to mine here covered up both an accidental death and a suicide in ways... "to spare the children" supposedly - but more likely to spare themselves from disturbing societal scrutiny. well, probably making the wife "pretend" to the kids that her dead husband (traffic accident) was on vacation, among other things they insisted she do/not do, prevented her from grieving properly. i cannot help but feel it contributed to her suicide a month later. sure, she was fragile. but it seems to me the others that were more crazy. they were the ones who wanted to make reality what it wasn't, leaving her as an Alice in Horrorland. so sad. well the suicide was covered up even more - her last wishes not honored, her note removed and the intended recipient never allowed to read it, the children immediately transplanted to relatives in a different region - cut all contacts - so they'd not hear of their mother's suicide............. sigh. so........ i know what you are talking about.

i am sorry your extended family is so judgemental. don't worry about their crazy-making rationalizations or their stupid NYE celebration. there's a a saying... who wants to go where you're not wanted? It It wouldn't matter even if they had good reasons ... let them keep their stupid party if they don't want you there. Their loss, HA!

May i suggest, however, that your grandparents' refusal to intervene may not be a question of choosing sides. if they are quite elderly, or even just getting on in years, they have surely weathered their own troubles and many a family dispute in their lifetime. may be, at this point they do not feel inclined to fight others' battles, and simply prefer to leave it to the younger generations to sort things out for themselves. just a thought.

take care of yourself and feel better soon. take lots of warm drinks and vitamin C, you know the deal... ;) :hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Hey Blue Please don't ever think that your personal worth is how rude,and scornful people say that it is.

I love you,and so do the other family members here. You have inner strength,and you are making it through this hard time. You may not feel it though.

We all feel like throwing our hands up,especially after a mood swing episode. They are so darn difficult,but they are temperary. They may last months at a time. I've been through that,and am tired of those feelings also. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Majo, :hug: :hug: :hug:

These types of family dynamics got started generations ago. When I trace what was going on in my father's and mother's families one hundred years ago, I can see that some dysfunctional patterns in place now (2011) were already in existence then (1911).

In other words, this has nothing to do with you.
Stay home on NYE and have a good night.


Mari

Hey Majo

The other thing is NYE, I'll probably be here on the internet.

Derrick is going to his girlfriends to a party. So after I drop
him off, I'll be home waiting for him to return. They are so
nice they always bring him home. My NYE and NY present
from them, which I love.

And my husband needs to be with his mother. So there is
no even going for dinner with him. Like we did last year.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

Oh blue...
 

I can so understand. I also have a family like that. It makes dealing with disability and emotional problems so much harder to cope with. I have a daughter who will not speak to me, a son-in-law who forbid my relationship with her, and a grandchild I am not permitted to know. Lord knows I have asked over and over why? I don't deal with this very well at times eithor bluemojo, I only know I have a family right here who understands me. I adopted this santuarty as family, and thank God each and every day that I have all of you. I am thinking about you today Blue, I hope things turn out better than right now. Be good to yourself too. ginnie:hug::grouphug:

Thanks for your words my friends... I needed them so much !!! :hug:

I have been so sick with this silly virus or whatever (flu, cold, cough all that...) and have been sooooo sleepy using internet only in my phone where I cant read this site because of my silly eyes ! :mad: :p :o

Anyways...

waves :hug: My parents passed away 10+ years ago... :( I wish they were here... however, I dont think they would intervene... just like you said.... I miss them all the time... I so wish I could bak a cake with my grandma and play golf with my grandpa... or go to the beach with both... :(

About my mom's cousin, Frank, I... I have been thinking a lot about him these days... I miss him. I mean, I never had too much contact, he lived in the US (california) and was a marine, (he was an american citizen because his mother is american), so, he went to Irak, and... yeah... we never talked or see each other that much but he was a great guy and... I just wish we could had talked more... because I have been suicidal myself too and... "understand him" and... blah... :( This make me feel so sad.

I hate january... Is like, I feel depressed, stressed, worried... etc... Im almost having a panic attack right now and just took my meds on time it seems but yeah... it is a very hard month for me... like I have no energy and start thinking, if it didnt happen last year, why would it happen this one !?

Ugh...

Dear Majo,
I am very sorry about your cousin. http://bestsmileys.com/butterfly/2.gif

M

Thinking of you, daily,............................................ ..................
 

Thanks Mari :hug:

The butterfly fits perfectly... as they symbolize eternity... :) Thanks.

I cant sleep... but I'd better go and try...

:hug:

Hi you !!! I have missed you !! :hug:

I love you. Thanks !

I'm sorry, Majo!
 

Lately, I spend most of my time on Face-Book. Do you visit there,
at, all? :hug:

Phyllis :hug:

Yes, yes, Im all the time there !! add me ! http://www.facebook.com/Chiquita6277

Majo,............................................. ...................................
 

:) You've been added, sweety!! :hug:

Phyllis :)

I am sorry you lost your parents majo, somehow I thought you lived with them...are you living alone or do you live with other people?
just wondering.
bizi

Dear BlueMajo
 

I agree that this month is difficult. We always have such high expectations that things will improve. Sometimes it happens other times we are stuck. It is a hard month with grey skies and cold weather. Even here in Fla. we will have a freeze tonight.

I don't know why families can be so mean. It hurts, and many of those hurts can last a life time and have no resolution. My son-in-law took a dislike to me and prevents me from having any contact with my daughter or grandson. I do know the pain you feel over your family. One good thing is that we can choose our new families, and I think this place of comfort, is our family. These good souls, you encluded, bring hope and healing into my life. I am not sure I would have endured all that has happened without this family right here. I will keep you in my thoughts. You are a sister. Stay away from those dark thoughts and keep coming back here like I do. I care about you. ginnie :circlelove:

Majo

Sending hugs as usual.

And You have mom's here.

I'll be one anytime you need one. I just can't give a hug in person.

Which is sad. I can always use a daughter, I don't have any natural
ones, just my daughter-in-laws like.:grouphug:

Donna

Majo,.............................................
 

:Wave-Hello: Thinking of you, sweety!! :hug:

Phyllis :You-Rock:

Oh, I was typing in the middle of the dark and with the lights off, I lost my grandparents.... the 4 of them... :( I live with mom and dad yes :)

I love you all here. MY FAMILY. My moms, my sisters, my bros.... :hug: I dont know where I would be if I hadnt have you in those dark moments :hug:
Consider me your daughter, your sister, your whatever. Im here for you and think about you all the time. :hug:

Much much love for all here. Thanks for your words.

How are you, sweety???
 

:Heart:I've been thinking about you!!...... :hug:

Phyllis

:You-Rock:

i made peace with my father shortly before he died after a six month illness. miracles can happen but i had to wait a long time. to live in a dysfunctional family when you are bipolar makes the bipolar so much worse. you have to try to cling to things that give you a reason for living and almost give up hopes that the people that wound you will change and that they can't do any better.
you have so many friends here that care so much about you and feel your suffering.
bobby

Majo

We are here as Bobby says.

And its so nice to see a much better mood.

Donna:hug::grouphug: