Inflexibility
 

I don't mean my body, that ship sailed a long time ago. I mean my routine, my schedule, my way of doing things.

I never used to understand why it freaked out my parents so much when something messed up their routines. I promised myself I'd never get like that. Boy, was I naive and stupid.

Now I'll admit that I would be more flexible, if not actually spontaeous, if I lived alone, but I don't live alone and don't WANT to live alone. So now we're talking two people with routines and schedules. My husband is less flexible than I am, though I'm sure he doesn't realize it!

So when my daughter calls and says she "might" be over today (a reasonable thing) our immediate reaction (right after "oh good!") is to get flustered and wonder how that will disrupt our schedules, and how we can adjust!

Of COURSE my daughter knows we always eat "brunch", anywhere between 10:45-11:30. Can we wait and eat at 1:00? Of course! But she has no way of knowing how a change in eating time disrupts every other part of our routine...timing of meds, naps, chores, etc.

Now I'm not truly freaked out. Just one more little reminder of how things really are, and one more apology I owe my parents!! In the meantime, I'm waiting for my daughter to call and WILLING myself not to act like a freak and try to pin her down to an ETA right to the minute!!

I think the only people who could actually live without disruption to their routines would be hermits. The thought has been tempting - at least in the short term. LOL

I hate when my routine gets out of whack, but with a husband who works different shifts and two active boys, I'm just rolling with it right now even if it makes me cranky.

I think it is easier to fall into a routine when you are retired. I also think it is good for the routine to get tossed out every now and then for fun things.

I used to get all out of whack, when I was younger and someone messed up my schedule..:mad: Now, I welcome it..haha.. Well not all the time.:D The only time I dont like interupted is nap time, and that is usually when the phone rings..grrrrrrrr.

B2Y,

Could you tell her we really can't wait but there will be leftovers? That could help in less disruption for you.

Good idea, Snoopy, I do that with my son who lives nearby. Since my daughter lives a couple of hours away and her schedule is erratic, we just have a mid-morning snack, then eat "normally" whenever she gets here.

I enjoy getting thrown off track. Shakes up my day a little and visitors always take priorities in my house.....I get so few!

I don't get many visitors - except for my kids - so my "schedule" rarely gets sidetracked. The only thing I'd really like to know is when to expect someone. I don't want to be napping.....or caught with my jammies on.....so a time would be appreciated.

But, I remember my Dad always wanting to know "what time" everything was going to happen. And I didn't always know so I'd just say "you'll see us when you see us" and not think anything of it. Now, I know how irritating that can be. I didn't think it mattered much.....I mean, he wasn't going anywhere so what did it matter what time we got there......:rolleyes::rolleyes:how wrong I was. I can almost hear him snickering now when my kids give me the same line when I ask "what time?". :o

Yes, Kitty, that's EXACTLY what I meant! I'd almost rather have one of my kids just drop in without notice than say "I'll probably be there tomorrow or the next day." :eek:

Interesting thread...

I am going to put my opinion out there...when I read what Kitty posted, "We'll be there when we get there..." my mind retorted, (imagining my kids saying that) "Well, doesn't the world just revolve around little you?"
I'd say right back, if my kids said that to me, "Well, maybe we won't be here...we have a life too."

But I get what you originally posted, B2Y...I get all flustered and overwrought at the change in the day, which I am trying to work on...DH looks at me all confused...'What's the big deal?' type of look. He's a real go-with-the-flow kind of guy. We complement each other well:rolleyes:

Is it the MS that makes us like this? Or are we too rigid in our lifestyles? I vote the latter, for myself at least.

I've NEVER been one to say "Oh well, let's just wing it"...I like some kind of general plan, a rough outline, or at least an "either/or" plan. However, I've always been able to ditch my plan when something came up. I was never MARRIED to my plan/routine/agenda.

Now, let somebody say, "There's been a little change" and I can feel my heart start to race. It doesn't take much to throw me for a loop these days.

I would eat as you normally do and then snack when your DD gets there. I understand how frustrating it is. I can be like that sometimes but most of the time I love when company comes over. I pretty much have an open door policy . . .just come when you want but know that between 11 and 1 I go down for my nap.

Want some of my Prozac??:D:p:D

I don't even like this language. Inflexible. Too rigid. (all very negative language) As an ex teacher I saw how a routine helps kids control behaviors. This is not to say we sometimes didn't have unexpected pleasures. But saw too much anticipation time didn't help. Some things with my own children were routine - naps, meals bedtimes, no surprises. We had no problems and now they sleep well, eat well. Too much routine can be too rigid, but too little is bad too, kids or adults. I hate being loosey-goosey to people who can't make a commitment time-wise. Leaves me on edge. I have a life too and resent them holding me time hostage. I have stuff I must do for ME.

I agree; there needs to be a balance. Moderation in all things.

I used to be such an inflexable control freak.:eek: It's amazing what an incurable disease, the ability to control very little, the need for help, a little humility and lots of Prozac can do.:D

Life's a Biotch!!

I have learned by watching my inlaws lose more and more control over their lives and bodies that this is the inevitability of being human...that this is where we end up. Maybe that's why so many of us want to have control and are overwrought when a monkeywrench is thrown into the day...because we have an instinct about the loss of control coming our way.

Those of us (like Sal) who learn this lesson and make "lemonade out of lemons" are much happier...or should I say more peaceful...in the day to day ebb and flow of life, IMO...I see MS taking more from me from month to month, small things, and I fight it...I know though that I have to learn that going with the flow rather than getting uptight about changes big and small will improve my mental state as well as my satisfaction with my life.
But knowing this and living this are two different things...:rolleyes: