Told you all it's been awhile.. Posted on wrong forum..
 

Hello everyone,

It has been a while since I have updated all of you.. I thought for awhile that her pdoc had Bridgette moving in the right direction but in the past 30 days she has completely done a 180 degree turn for the worst. Her dr. re-evaluated her and said she was no longer bi-polar because she was not showing any "highs" just lows and that she was just severly depressed from years of physical and emotional abuse from her mother. They took her off her bipolar meds (lithium) and put her on medication for depression only. They weaned her off the lithium so she didn't go through withdrawls. It has been approx. 60 days that she hasn't been on any lithium at all. She has cut off all her hair, dyed it purple, dresses all in black, claims she is a lesbian now, has cut herself twice in 30 days and tried to commit suicide by taking a handful of medication. She was admitted to the local hospital for 48 hour watch and then released to us, we had an emergency meeting with her pdoc and her therapist the day after she was released from the hospital neither one felt that she was a harm to herself or others... WHAT?? She had tried to kill herself, how do they determine she isn't a threat to herself?? Yesterday she cut herself at school, her pdoc called and told my husband basically nothing except for us NOT to take her to inpatient and that she would have her therapist call us today.. What the hell???? I am worried because the next time she tries something on herself could be the last. I am currently waiting on a phone call from her therapist to see what she thinks we should do. I am totally in a foreign place that I have never been before. I ache for Bridgette to get the help she needs, I literally feel her confusion and pain. She no longer cares about school or herself and I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING!!!! I wonder if the diagnosis was right all along and she is bipolar, or possibly something else is going on.. I for once do not have a clue as to what to do.. Any suggestions would be appreciated, I am currently searching for other places to take her because I feel her current pdoc doesn't have a clue as to what she is doing or what is going on with Bridgette.

Thanks,

Jen

dear Jen, just a quick response as I am running late.
I am sorry that bridgett is so unstable. yes I agree some one new might be best right now. She is acting out from her years of abuse. this will take a long time in therapy to learn how to cope and to deal with that trauma.
HOw old is she?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Jen

I responded in the parents forum just now.

But wanted to say hello here too.

If I remember right, she is around 15 or 16.:grouphug::hug:

Donna:grouphug::hug:

She is 18 soon to be 19 in a few weeks.

Yep, sorry should have come back and changed the thread. Forgot.

But I brought back your original too.

Donna:grouphug:

Hi, Jen,

You could take her back to the hospital. The pdoc is a bozo. Stop listening to him.

Get back to us on what the therapist says. Sometimes the professionals have a different way of looking at the cutting behavior.

If she was ok on the lithium and now is not, my opinion is that she needs the lithium or an appropriate substitute.

Get her to a pdoc as soon as possible while she is still cooperating with you about her medical care.


Mari

Hi, Jenn,


Oh!! Dear!!!!

The poor girl.

The anti-depressant could have sent her into a mixed mood. :eek:

I am sorry that she is going through this.


M

Thank you Dmom,

Yes I do live in N. Indiana and I will look up thier number and call them. I waited all day and never recieved a phone call from the Therapist.. I am so angry it is not even funny. I left 2 messages and I can guarantee the message she gets tomorrow will not be one she is wanting to hear. It is almost like neither her pdoc or her therapist even care about what she is going through and it angers me to no end.. I will let you all know what happens tomorrow and Dmom, I will most definetely contact them because I am so tired of people that don't care or who are unwilling to help Bridgette..

Thanks to each of you for your kind words and thoughts.
Jen

Yes, I know we all want to know what is going on.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

We talked to her pdoc and her therapist. They both agreed that she has not been taking her medicine regularily enough for them to determine if they are helping her or not. They both also informed us that they do not believe she is bipolar, they have rediagnosed her Borderline personality disorder with splitting. They also said panic/anexity and severe depression. i don't know what to believe anymore. My head is spinning off my shoulders. Last Thursday Bridgette decided to throw a "fit" so to speak and after getting on the bus when to her counselor at school and proceeded to tell them that her father and I physically abuse her. Thank goodness her counselor knows this is not the case but Bridgette did not come home after school, but came when we were not home and packed her things and moved in with a friend of hers. She told that family the same thing (that shes abused) and that we kicked her out. The parents of this friend of hers did nto even bother to contact us in any way shape or form they just took her word that she was "homeless" and said she couold live with them. I am seriously at the end of my rope. I am so confused and seriously in shock. I am hurt and feel betrayed although I KNOW she is sick. Not sure what to do anymore.

Hi,

Do what she did the last time she moved in with another family. Keep the pdoc and tdoc updated in case you have an opportunity to take her to an emergency appointment.
Keep the lines of communication with her open, let her know that you are available for her, stay patient, and wait until that other family kicks her out.

I had to look up "splitting" to see what it means:

http://bpd.about.com/od/faqs/f/splitting.htm
What is Splitting?
Wow. Borderline Personality disorder is very difficult for family members. I hope that you have good support. Do you see a therapist yourself? Therapy will help you keep boundaries and teach you to stay focused on your needs along with those of your spouse and the other children in the family while wishing the best for her.

Keep a file of her school and medical paperwork. In the future she might need you to help her document what she has gone through.

Sometimes, these two are treated with the same meds that are used for bipolar. At any rate, meds can help her when she is ready to reach out for help or ends up in the hospital.


Here is a book I have heard that helps family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder:
http://www.amazon.com/Hate-You-Dont-...f=cm_lmf_tit_1
Here is a web site about borderline:
http://www.bpdcentral.com/support/email.shtml

There are probably other books that you can ask the therapist about.

Mari

Thank you for posting.
I am so sorry that you are going thruogh this.
The book Mari mentioned has a great reputation and has helped many people better understand the disorder. There are also books on codependancy. I also agree with Mari about you needing to gain as many tools, support as possible.
This is a long road to haul, keep your lines open if possible.

((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I will pick up that book and read it. I am not sure what to do anymore but just sit and pray she is being supervised, taking her meds and continuing her therapy. Her dad recieved a phone call today from her counsler at school because Bridgette went to talk toher today and tell her that we were refusing to give her, the rest of her things back, which is totally untrue. I talked to her therapist and she told me that for her age bridgette is the best manipulator she has ever seen, she finds peoples "soft spots" and plays on them until she can't anymore. She also said that Bridgette plays the "victim" roll perfectly. She said that until she is open to therapy that all she can do is hope that she comes to her sessions. She asked me to get in touch with this other family and explain to them what is going on, as she can't because of the privacy laws. I don't know if this is such a good idea because if she is put in a corner she self destructs, that's when the cutting and attempted suicide come into play. I am confused and have no idea what to do. Do I just let her spin her lies, take the judgement that we are "bad parents" that kicked thier child out or do I tell them the truth and take the chance of them telling her to leave and possibly her not coming home and us not knowing where she is at? I certainly don't want her backed into a corner and hurting herself. It is all so confusing, we just want her to get the help that she NEEDS so that possibly she can live a normal life and be happy in the future? Any advice is welcomed. Thank you all again.

Jen

I think you call and get the feel of how the other family is seeing things.

I realize Bridgette covers for herself very well. But I would guess she
will start to show her own colors too. I would want to know if she was
living with me.

So I would encourage you to tell the family. Because there are others
living in the family. And anything can cause a problem.

They can always let you know if they are going to have her leave.

And work with you on this stuff, in my opinion.

donna:grouphug:

I did contact the family. Apparantly according to the step mother she is working on her doctorette in behavioral psychology specializing in BPD. How convienent. I explained Bridgettes condition, her diagnosis and her medication and she reassured me that she will get to her appointments, take her meds, etc.. Not sure what more we can do, it is a waiting game now. Thank you for your suggestions and help I do appreciate all of it. I will keep you updated.

Jen

hi jen, maybe she can help her if this is what she is studying.
Maybe she will be able to talk some reason into her. I am glad that you have spoken with the mother. All you can do is keep the lines open and get yourself into a therapist so that you can build upon your own skills.
bizi

Jen

This could be the best thing for all of you for now.

Bridgette will get to her appts. And I'm guessing she will get
her medications. And if the family can't keep her they will
call you first. Before telling Bridgette to leave.

I am so glad you were met with such a straight forward
lady. Hoping you can now get yourself some help too.

Donna:grouphug:

i agree with Donna and think it would be wonderful if you could get some help and support too. the stress must be unbearable
bobby

Dear Jen,

Good news if she goes to her appointments.

I think she will be home in three months: On or before Easter.

I am sending lots of good vibes for her, you, and your whole family.

M

Hello all.

Last Thursday we had a unexpected visit from Bridgette and the step mother of the friend she is living with. It was a good visit, alot of things were put out in the open however, the only downfall is that Bridgette is no longer taking her medication. She says she is taking it, tells the stepmom she is taking it, but her dad and I know when she is taking it and when she isn't by the way she acts, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt she is not taking it. She also is no longer attending her therapy sessions. Apparantly she got a part time job, which is great although she is currently on disability medicaid and the state said she will probably lose the insurance and have to go on a waiting list for Indiana HIP insurance because she is over the age of 18. She seems to be doing good, somewhat happy although still confused over if she is gay, not that, that would make a difference with anything. When she texts me I let her know we are still here for her, and just want her happy. She is cycling with moods but not as frequent. She really does seem to be doing well. I just hope she isn't putting too much on her plate to prove to this family that she is a regular teenage girl without emotional problems. I pray everyday that she will stay better, but know that one day she is going to push herself too hard and get overwhelmed, which is why I want her to know we are always going to be here for her. Just wanted to give you guys a heads up and get some of your thoughts. I honestly hope she is on the way up and will stay that way. Thanks for all your support.

Jen

HI there and thank you for posting.
Glad that you had a nice visit.
Sounds like you are doing everything that you can be doing to help the situation. She is living her life on her terms.
If she is not taking her meds than that is her responsibility. and she will suffer the consequences. Maybe she is taking them and they are just not working very well...I don't know.
any way. You are doing a great job at keeping the lines open. Keep up the good work and have you gotten yourself a therapist yet?
bizi

Hi,

That is great that you are talking to her and the step mother. And keep texting her and letting you know that you love and support her. IF she has troubles she knows that she can come to you.

I wished young people realized the importance of medical insurance.

M

By the way, In Indiana, You can't lose Medicaid till your 21.

So she will stay insured with Medicaid through the state till 21.

Its a small loophole the state doesn't advertise. But make sure
she still applies. Even if she is told that her disability medicaid
isn't in effect.

Donna:grouphug::hug: