Fighting Every Day To Stay Independent...
 

It's not as easy as it used to be. I've always been an independent little cuss. If DH gave me a hard time I'd sing my song.."got along without ya before I met ya, gonna get along without ya now":D

I don't think I could do it without the complete support of my Children. My DD and her DH always say that I will never go to a nursing home and, if necessary, will move in with them. I love them dearly, but, EEEEEEEK! And besides, I'd hate to do that to them.:rolleyes:

I do my PT/OT and stretching every day to keep myself strong, so that I am able to transfer safely, but how long will my MS body be able to do it?? I am so afraid of falling that I thank God for every time I make it.:)

You all think I am so possitive all the time and I work on that, but, I'm afraid and fear is a negative reaction.:( What can I do to take some of this fear out of my life and live with a bit more Joy?

:grouphug:

That's the $64,000 question, isn't it? I think you're doing what you need to do--you keep working on it. I can't believe there is anybody who isn't afraid some of the tie, especially among those of us with chronic illness always looking back at us in the mirror.

I can understand how you feel, Sally. I've often wondered what I'd do if I got to the point of not being able to manage by myself. I know my kids wouldn't let anything happen to me......but I like my independence and don't want to put that kind of burden on them.

Oh, Sally!

I have no advice for you. I will just blow some of the wellness that I feel today toward Ohio.

Whooooish,
ANN

Sal,
What you said!!!!!

An other stubborn old Cuss. (not as old as you of course)

sally, i know what you mean, about fear (of the future).
i try to formulate a plan of action when i think the "what if" scenario.

like if i fell i'd use a life alert service.
i can call my neighbors and i gave them a key to my house.
over simplistic maybe but you get the idea.

the more complex the problem the more complex becomes the solution.
not easy. i'm so glad you have family even if i can understand that you don't want to burden them.

Hi Sally

No words, just a HUGE :hug:. I think you have just put into words what so many of us fear for the future.

Be gentle with yourself - a good friend of mine who has made it to 86 years of age (and has had MS since her mid-thirties) said to me that she looks for beauty every single day - in nature, and in people - and that is what keeps her going despite all her challenges.

Lyn

(((( Sally ))))

Me too. Sigh.

Wow Lyn, 86 and still going. Thanks for sharing that.. What an inspiration she is..and you..:hug:

Sally,
I watch my elderly inlaws decline every day, watching them wet and soil themselves. FIL wears his food all over the front of his shirt. She has her clothes on inside out and backwards. He can barely get out of his WC.

As I watch them, I know that all of us, ill or no, will end up like this if we live long enough. I look at all of the elderly in their facility, and imagine them young and vivacious as we are (or were:rolleyes:). Inside every elderly person struggling to stay independent is a 20 year old...

I guess my best advice is to live in the moment...try to stay strong physically and mentally. And when the time comes, and it will for all of us who live long lives, we either plan ahead financially to live in a facility or we live with family.

You seem to be doing the best you can, fighting against the pull of weakness and frailty...keep up the good fight!!:hug:

OMG no DebbieD, that is not the way everyone grows old. I'm praying for better for us all.:)

Sally
 

Not sure you already have the service; but the Life Alert Service is a Godsend. My sister-in-law, as well as my brother both have this service. It is peace of mind for yourself, as well as family members knowing there is help asap. Life Alert is waterproof so.....bathtubs were thought out in advance.

It is difficult not to have fear; but as I listened to a sermon last year, the main theme was ...if we have fear....it is not from God. God gives us hope. The fear comes from - you know who ... wants us to be hopeless and full of despair. We have to give him "hell". Pun intended.

(Ger)

Amen, Ger!!!:)

But when we are experiencing the debilitating effects of disease like MS, it is difficult not to be at least cognizant of what might lie ahead for us if we continue to decline.
It saddens me that my DH is along for the ride...he deserves a hot chick on his arm, not an overweight woman limping like his dad...

I Agree
 

It is very difficult indeed. I try not to go there as much as possible. When I do, I just get more depressed and am making the days ahead, that have not yet happened, already here. My husband came over as I was doing some cleanup after lunch today (unable to make the nice lunch and dinners I once made) and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I know in his way, he was saying "thank you".


I still do the laundry and try to smile and give his life some enjoyment. Of course, I can't always be that way; but it does help to get myself off the "pitty pot" at least for a little while and see the smile on his face.

(Ger):hug:

I try (don't always succeed) to live by what my Mom often used to quote:

"Hope for the best,
Get ready for the worst,
And take what God sends."

Hoping for the best means to me focusing as best as I can on the blessings, the things I CAN do, the good things in life, and assuming the worst WON'T happen.

Getting ready for the worst means not dwelling on it, but sometimes taking stock of the possible that COULD happen: if I became unable to do stairs, could we put in a chair lift? If I became unable to drive, does the rural transportation bus go by the house? Will the vet make house calls? But try to think constructively, not in crippling fear.

Then live each day, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, and try to make the best out of the life I have.

As I said, I TRY to do that. Sometimes I fail. Then I try again.

OK you guys, since I started this darn thread and put you all in a worrisome, downer mood:(, I feel it's my duty to tell ya all to cheer up and get over yourself Scarlet...tomorrow is another day..:D:p:D

:grouphug: