Do you ever feel like people dont like you?
 

Its one of the questions that I always get asked as part of my evaluation in the big girl neuro clinic. Do you feel that people have been more critical of you this month? Do you feel that you have been more critical of people this month? Do you feel that you are liked? Do you feel like people are talking about you in a negative way? Do you feel like you have friends?

I always thought those questions were wild and out of place till the last flare I went thru. I felt like folks were being hyper critical of me. I felt like they didnt trust me or believe me when I said things. I felt like I had to work harder to explain myself.

Since the flare subsided, its been much less but I still have snippets of distrust or feeling distrusted. Stupid things that make no sense, and have no connection to history, but yet...there it is. I feel like people are judging me. This is silly, because I am not a girl who normally cares or is flattened by what others think. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and while I may not always agree with you, it doesnt mean we cant be friends, or talk it over.

This has truly been different for me. Does anyone else have periods in their disease where they feel like others are judging them? just dont like them? Wish they would just go away? Like one message board I was at, I posted a nice thread that had some questions and NOT ONE person responded (its not a thank you place) it just sat. Now I know that probably folks didnt have an answer. They didnt know me since I was new there, and they were probably waiting on someone more knowledgeable to speak up, but after a full week. I deleted my post, and went away. I saw everyone chatting it up in posts all around mine, but not one stopped to say hello, welcome, cant help you but...

Why does this happen? I am not used to it, and dont want to wear it. How do you get over it? or am I the only one?

As MS can cause swings in affect, it can produce paranoia and some find and have posted a feeling of fear of burglars, hearings sounds along with smell sand taste changes, etc. Brain stuff stimulation can produce cognitive damages too as is well explored. Sometimes I forget I forget and try to be cognitively aware of some things. I taught NI (Neurologically Impaired) kids (now I am, how ironic)along with PI (Perceptually Impaired, LD (Learning Disabled) and a bunch of other letter kids for years and compensating (as well as awareness) of lost skills was often a goal.

What kicker said makes a lot of sense.

Plus I have learned over the years that (as incredible as this sounds) not everybody likes me. :eek:

I like you B2Y,

Me too, even if you both don't like me..:Sigh:

Seriously though, I never have that feeling. I mean I know if someone doesn't like me but, what is my stand by saying?.."I just don't shiv a git":D

I like you too B2Y and sally will always be tops in my book. Even if I do irritate her sometimes.

I have never been a girl that was wounded by what others thought about me, or even cared what their opinion is. As long as I know I am right with God, being Fair and considerate, I move on. its just that since that last huge flare, I feel like folks are judging me. Staring at me (i was blind with a cane, and wandering the streets, they probably had good reason to stare) and yet...it bothered me. I felt like I stood out. I dont like standing out.

I know I am being overly sensitive, and I know its an MS thing, but I was hoping that I wasnt alone, or others would tell it theirs went away...

Well, before MS I was very aware of what I thought people thought about me. But, I was also working full time and out in the public alot. I shouldn't have put so much importance on what others thought but I was definitely swayed by what/how I thought I "should be". :rolleyes:

Now, it's gone the total opposite direction. I mean, I don't want people to not like me but if they don't......oh, well. I don't have the physical or emotional energy to worry about it.

As long as I know my heart is right with God I'm good.

I haven't had the mood or emotional swings from MS....yet. That's not to say I won't, though. Menopause is just around the corner......ya'll watch out!! :icon_twisted:

We love you here, Dej. And you never have to explain a "bad day". We understand. :hug:

P.S. I wuv you, too, B2Y.:circlelove:

Exactly!!!!:hug:

Sal,
Stop being paranoid. You know I love you!!!! And your git too.

I care less what other people think of me now than ever before though I have noticed I have quite the inferiority complex when with those in senior positions at work. I used to be able to hold my own, but more and more, I get red in the face and stutter.

But really, who gives two hoots what they think of me? Eh? I do? really? me, care?
Well maybe I do then...

They forget to tell me I had to enter the popularity contest! So I don`t care!

LOL, I make sure to let people I don`t like know to stay away!

Every time my sister comes over.

I'm pretty sure my sister and her husband dont like me. Every time they're here, I get kvetched (complained) at for something.

Tonight it was for talking about something in normal conversation. (telling my dad about the new gun my boyfriend bought) All of a sudden my sister is yelling at me for talking about guns in front of her kids. How was I supposed to know that talking about weaponry is forbidden in front of her kids.

Great that she doesnt let her kids watch tv shows that have guns and violence in them, but she cant expect me to edit my conversations about things when she doesnt give me a list of forbidden topics. I've gotten yelled at for asking my dad if he wanted a beer once...apparently being polite and offering to buy a beer for my dad at a family gathering is wrong to do in front of her kids too. They've been really pushing that alcohol is wrong and if you drink a beer or even talk about it you're a horrible person. (great. My nieces probably think I'm an axe murderer. I dont drink either because of the MS, doesnt mean my dad cant have a beer)

When I was in school or when I worked, I always felt like everyone was annoyed that I was there. I'd try to be nice, but it always seemed like people would get mad at me for no reason. I could never figure out why. (my nieces are autistic. Some of their mannerisms seem really familiar to me sometimes)

Well, there are people that don't like me occasionally because I make them work... In general, I'm not dis-liked. I think...

And I really couldn't care less. And there really isn't anybody I dis-like. There are facets of individuals I don't like but... My boss has the attention span of a 2-year-old and makes bad decisions but I tolerate it. Other people in high places are just plain stupid but I just inwardly laugh.

Tom

Dej - I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. This past flare has changed your life in ways you didn't expect. Of course you are feeling insecure right now and rightfully so. I would be the same what. In fact, when MS 1st hit and I would walk like a drunk, I finally broke down and got a cane just so people didn't think I was drunk.

Now to answer your question, I get insecure like that, especially around my period. In fact, I think it's common in women around that time as I know so many women who have complained about that same thing.

Keep you chin up and know that you are well loved around here and respected. Also, you have a wonderful and supportive DH, which makes all the difference in the world. Hang in there and know that you are normal.:hug:

Hi dej
 

I guess we all feel that way at times. I think the deal is, we can't be liked by everybody all the time. I had one person get a bit testy with me because I thanked a person for a post. I just went on my merry way, and thought maybe they were having a worse day than I was. Anytime we are in pain, I think we get overly sensitive to things. I like you Dej. Try not to let others get under your skin. You are always kind to others, and that shows through. I just try to ignor those things that bother me, and come back in a more positive direction no matter what. Take care sending a hug your way.:hug: ginnie

Tom, another IJDSAG club member..:D I love it.

I never thought about this being linked to our disease, but I am in that boat with you. Looking back on it, the times where my paranoia and the feeling of being 'disliked' by everyone were during big flares. So does this somethingt to do with lesions where the emotional control is? Again, I never thought it was linked to MS, I thought I was just insecure and highly paranoid. I never was like that before MS came into my life :confused:

I get like that...I begin worrying that my DILs don't like me, or my son is mad at me...they respond :confused::confused:

Sometimes I get all obsessed about things like this, and blow it all out of proportion...then when I talk to whomever I think is mad at me/hates me/doesn't like me, it gets cleared up, and I end up wondering, "What is WRONG with my brain?"

For instance, a couple of weeks ago, my DIL posted that she was sitting on the couch critiquing the Grammies. one of her friends replied "I'd like to listen in to you two on the couch watching the Grammies together." DIL posted back that she and who she was talking with were an hour apart texting, and "Thats how life apart is nowadays."

I read it to mean DS & DIL had split. I started obsessing, worrying, thinking, "He'll kill himself without her..."
I posted questions to her to find out what was going on. She was talking about she and her sister being an hour apart and living apart, not DS. He was sitting right next to her on the couch...:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Thank you! I dont feel so alone now. its really weird for me to be preoccupied about folks. Let me give some examples.

I thought my eye surgeon thought I was "faking it" and that I could see more than I let on. then I heard her telling DH how blind I really was, and that I had broken her heart with how hard I was trying to see that chart for her. How did I misinterpret her?

Had not heard from my son in days. I thought for sure he must be upset that I jumped in the middle of his relationship. I gave him a number for him and g/f to go to counseling and try to work it out. I also put up flyers around town that they were giving away a 2 y/o rescued pug. g/f was kinda snotty about the flyer thing, and really only thought that DS was going to counseling. She was just going to be supportive. Huh?? So, I stressed that now she AND he were upset with my interventions, even tho both had asked for help. DS hasnt called because he is doing double shifts. g/f hasnt called because she is mad at my son, not at me. yet, I wore it like a wool coat, sweated it out for days.

I was given a certificate for being blind which entitled me to many benefits in town, such as a tax break on property taxes...I had to go to town and tell them that I am not going to stay legally blind, that I want the cert back. I felt silly, and they acted like I was trying to pull a fast one.

I had my car for sale, and had several offers. (none met my bottom line) so I took the for sale sign off the car. A few folks were upset and one told me he thought I was "using this whole blind thing as a way to increase the price, and now I am trying to gouge him by removing the sign." um...NO! I am removing the car for sale because I hope to use it.

Those are just a few examples, and its weird, because I am not a girl who cares what they think. I was raised by weirdos, thieves, liars, and cheats. I have maintained a life of honesty and integrity. That is why I went and reclaimed the blind paper, instead of allowing it to sit and continue to collect benefits I am not entitled to.

I hate this disease. I just hate this stupid disease. it does things that make no sense.

People who don't like me can kiss my foot. I don't take anyone's crap and pretty much speak my mind. I'm very opinionated and pretty much a loner. People sometimes mistake my quietness for meekness. But say or do the wrong thing to me and I'll let you see the sleeping giant that you have awoken. MS may have slowed me down a little bit but it hasn't killed my spirit.

Don't worry about what people think. It's very easy for people to make judgements and assumptions when they are on the outside looking in. As long as you can look yourself in the mirror and sleep at night, who cares what others think.:)

You had me all the way to the end of your post, Mocha....until the look in the mirror thingy. If I want to sleep well at night, I try not to see what I really look like in the mirror..:D:p:D

ya see? thats the thing. I normally wouldnt give a single hoot what someone else thought, or what their opinion was, as long as I live honestly, openly, and with integrity. Why is it that during flare ups I do? is it an MS thing? is it a brain chemistry thing? is it a depression thing that comes from having a chronic disease? its so out of character for me that I figured it just had to be an MS thing.

It does make me feel better that others noticed they do it too. Im sorry any has to do it, but its always better when you dont feel so alone. :grouphug:

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Thank you for this thread, it is so good and I am relating to it especially right now! I think we do lose some of our confidence when we have a flare or our fatigue takes over. I seem to focus on what others think way too much and will even overcompensate and come across different than my usual self. I actually don't like myself this way at all, I miss the confident, easy me! I'm going to get some help to get back to it. I also feel as if others don't trust me, because I say or do things that seem hypocritical, but that's because I can't communicate very well at times and just don't finish what I'm saying, or one day can't go for that walk but can the next, or can't go out shipping but can the next. So those who don't u derstand think your lying to them to put them off. Or using MS as an excuse, when that is never ever the case.
It is important to get Counselling I think when this starts to happen too much, at least for me, I don't want to lose too much of my confidence permently, so I'm making an appointment. I find I'm even speaking in a higher pitch?? Trying to sound nice?