Why?
 

I thought I was done asking why our Michael would kill himself because I accepted that I'd never know for sure.

A portion of something Bizi posted resonnated with me and Michael jumped into mind.

"Dr. Ted Zeff, author of The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide, points out that other cultures, such as Thailand, have different attitudes, with a strong appreciation of sensitive or introverted people.
Jenna Avery, a “life coach for sensitive souls,” counsels people to accept or even pursue being “out of sync” with mainstream society, and be aware of other’s judgments of people as too sensitive, too emotional, or too dramatic.
And if we are sensitive, we may use those kinds of judgments against ourselves, and think, as Winona Ryder said she did at one time, “Maybe I’m too sensitive for this world.”
Certainly, there are extremes of emotions that are considered mood disorders, for example, and should be dealt with as a health challenge.
But “too emotional” or “too sensitive” are usually criticisms based on majority behavior and standards.
Overall, I think being highly sensitive is a trait we can embrace and use to be more creative and aware. But it demands taking care to live strategically, even outside popular values, to avoid overwhelm so we can better nurture our abilities and creative talents."

We always said he was too sensitive for this world. :Heart:

Dear, dear Ms. Alffe. I think of you often as I still go to see my therapist. We've discussed my suicidal ideation a LOT. I've thought about it ... a lot. I'm so grateful I have her to talk with. What you just posted has so much merit. :hug:

I was going to say a bunch, but now I think I won't. I feel so badly for people who become so overwhelmed they take their own lives.

Even with my impending new grandma-dom, I am still fighting that monster depression, and even as recently as yesterday, had the thought of ending it all. It filled me with guilt. But I have no plan, I promise.

I don't know if I'm highly sensitive. I know I'm too hard on myself...something I work on the best I can.

Again, I'm going to shut up. I think this synthroid medication is making me crazzzzzyyyyyy! :o

Please don't shut up dear lady...this is the place to talk about it.
It being the beast of depression where one is constantly fighting for their very life. I know you Doody and I know you would never leave that awful legacy for your loved ones but that doesn't make the fight any easier. You know that the "lure" of peace is a lie...it is just such a struggle sometimes to know that one more day will be like yesterday again. And that elusive thing called HOPE needs to show up more often. ~sigh

Now I need to go find that post about the Journey of Life..or maybe it's in one of my books. Anyway...know that you are loved!! :hug:

Thank you Ms. Alffe. LOL my hands are sweating because I'm not sure how to say this...I'm thinking...

Scratching my head, still thinking....

Crap.

I think I understand how people come to take their own lives without thinking of the consequences of the loved ones they are leaving behind. Their 'pain', whatever that may be, is just so strong they just don't want to be anymore.

Maybe what I'm trying to say is knowing you, I'm sure Michael loved you very much.

Now I give up because my brain can't make the words for what I'm thinking. :o

Alffee :hug:

Doody :hug:

A wonderful person on this forum sent me this 18 months ago.............

Have you ever read about HSP's? I have been investigating this theory some over the last year or so. And I have to tell you that I think it is real, and could really help some people. I also feel very strongly that you fall into this group of people. I subscribed to an online newsletter for a group of these people and the last one had an article that I thought you should really read. I would also imagine that in your line of work you deal with these types as well. I have the link on my phone and will give you something to, hopefully, allow you to look it up. The lady's name is Elaine Aron, and she is also an author. The August 2010 newsletter has an article in it titled, "Healing the Highly Sensitive Male," by Ted Zeff, Ph.D. I think it is worth looking into. I hope this is enough information for you to find it. If I had your e-mail I could just forward it to you from my iphone. Let me know if you have any luck with it.
There is so much more I would like to say, but, I imagine this is already long enough. I hope to write again soon, and share more with you. Try to stay strong my friend. There is a great purpose to your life, please try not to ever forget that.


there is much truth in HS [male or female]............some folk walk around and have skin like crocodiles.....nothing gets in............some possibly???? like me have skin that thin..........the world gets in.............. bruising easily is a common trait..........

maybe our search is for just that..............not death by our own hand but just for a thicker skin.???????????

David

here you go...

Healing the highly sensitive male
August 2010: Comfort Zone ONLINE
Healing the Highly Sensitive Male
by Ted Zeff, Ph.D.

Its rather odd really...when its out there in print, written by a respected professional........it is cool to be a HSM

when in truth its not easy............why? because 90% of the population will never read the respected print...............therefore it will be unknown as a personal trait.......

because like other taboo subjects.......no one will talk about it......

Would i tell those around me i see this trait in myself.........[no not in so many words]

Why?....because [here goes stereotyping in full throttle] im 6'2 nearly 18 stone........a voice deeper than most..........a five o'clock shadow is constant....etc..............

to the external world im a big bloke.........

yet i'm sensitive.........is it a crime..........[not to me...i actually pity those around me who don't see things like i do with the compassion that i do.....i see others as hard-nosed...thick skinned....bordering on heartless................]

i have learned to avoid these types of people........unfortunately many close family and friends fit in this category..... that's difficult...........

when you love people...and cringe when they comment on issues that you feel strongly about, it is difficult to explain to them that your hurt and why.................to save your self from implosion you just switch off from that person until you can tolerate them until the next time....................hard blooming work believe me

.David....

"when you love people...and cringe when they comment on issues that you feel strongly about, it is difficult to explain to them that your hurt and why.................to save your self from implosion you just switch off from that person until you can tolerate them until the next time....................hard blooming work believe me"

And when you do explain it to them, and they don't hear you, or it makes no difference in how they relate to you...those for me are toxic people.

Oh yes, I believe you. :hug:

It is hard work. I know, believe me.
I think it's like everything I've ever come across, it's about balance.

David I sent you this earlier but I'll post it here again.
I think this little article is absolutely brilliant.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...hly-sensitive/

5 Gifts of Being Highly Sensitive
By Therese J. Borchard

Different source but same words as Alffe posted.

This all reminds me a little of my mindset about young children with different conditions... autism, tourette's syndrome, anxiety/ocd etc.. It's always been my belief that everyone should look for the positive qualities in a child and then reinforce those positives. The difficulty is that a lot of people in the world don't "see" and as alffe just wrote, they don't hear either and therefore they just don'g get it.

Yes, yes, yes!

I absolutely agree with everything you all are writing here - so many wise thoughts!

Highly sensitive people....

It's definitely a different way to look at things. This poses the question: are our problems with suicide/depression a personality issue now not a disorder? Because after all, diagnosis such as depression were created long ago by doctors and people. Who is to say they were absolutely certain, that this illness isn't just a self-created term - not at all discounting that depression does not exist and those feelings aren't real. Heck, I've had my fair share. I am talking about the terminology. So it doesn't mean highly sensitive people aren't "real" either but its another label or way to identify something that describes us all in different ways. This affects us all differently, the world affects us all in different ways and we are all just different.

I personally think this is just another label to categorize us all (such as those that are emotionally reactive, or those that are "labile" or have pervasive disorders which is a spectrum now not Autism versus Aspergers diagnosis- or like mental retardation where you can be high functioning or low functioning - it is more, in other words, a descriptor - a way of describing individuals) Overall, we are all just different. And there are different words to describe us all. And yes, some of us more sensitive than others. Me included.

:Heart:

PS Sorry I only come back when I am feeling down/cranky. I need to visit more often. :grouphug:

I love you...cranky or not..and so proud of your accomplishments. *grin.

And I am really just too tired...had just enough dark brown drinks, to be able to make an intelligent response to your very insightful, intelligent post!! Maybe in the morning...Hugs.

Well said dear wish hsiw... :hug:

I wish you weren't stressed and hope by the time you read this you are no longer cranky :D

I can see it's been waaaaaayyyyyyyyy too long since I've been on here. Feeling a bit "highly sensitive" myself right now. I guess my reply will bring this post back into the forefront. I think it's important though. It's especially important for men of today. Women are suppose to have sensitive hearts and psyches, but men? Not in today's world. Why not????? I leave that question with you. :hug:

Holy cow. I have no idea why reading posts like this helps but it does. Imagine - I am not the only one and there is a place to talk about it all. When my thoughts are really bad I am not sure that the not doing it to save other's pain is enough. And that scares me a lot.

Hey you!! Nice to see you here. If men had any idea how attracted we women are to sensitive men there would be a lot more showing their faces.
Why not indeed!!! :hug:

Hello,

Erm... I dont even know where to start.... I was feeling doomy last night and I started thinking how normal is for me to feel like that... I started analizing my whole life and I realized Im waaaaaaaaaaay too sensitive for my family.... for my co-workers.... for my boss.... for the world !! Probably except you here, in neuro talk.... So, I came to the forums and found this thread ! Perfect timing...

You know, is like, everything that has hurt me, that has made me change in one way or another, has mean NOTHING for my family... they dont realize the pain I feel or the lonely or offended I have felt.... I think I have told you this in the past, but if not, the situation is this: My parents will always say the same: "Dont worry, or you will get sick..." and I mean, that is true.... probably in this life we shouldnt worry about anything, dont know BUT the truth is, life doesnt work like that.... words, sounds, gestures, voice tones hurt sometimes.... and sometimes forever....

On the bright side, I have to admitt sometimes I enjoy being the way Im... not being like the rest you know ? Being nostalgic and emotional as Im is probably more enjoyable for me that for my mom being just always the same way... She is always ok, never depressed.... but she would never cry of joy either (if you get my point...)... so....

Hum.... It is hard, but I too think it is possible for us to survive this world... see, like finding this forums.... :hug:

Im going to buy the Dr. Zeff book for sure !!! Im sure it is a masterpiece and that it will help me alot ! :)

Oh, and speaking about Winona Ryder, have you watched "Girl Interrupted" ?I LOVE that movie... makes me cry and laugh too.
I love the last words she says in the movie:
"Crazy isn't being broken, or swallowing a dark secret. It's you, or me, amplified. If you ever told a lie, and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child, forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends. And by the 70s, most of them were out, living lives. Some I've seen. Some never again. But there isn't a day my heart doesn't find them. "

That defines how I see things and people perfectly....

Hugs to everyone and Im so thankfull for having you. :grouphug: